Chapter Thirty-Four

We tried… just everything, or so it seemed, over the next few days. Just… everything. And nothing worked. I wasn’t sure which was harder. Watching Celia pacing anxiously around my living room while I tried to watch a very unfortunate priestess say ‘It’s against my will!’ over and over again as she followed and guided a would be hero who was clumsy, hot headed, reckless, and occasionally sloppy and dumb.

Or?

Maintaining my own optimism as the failures piled up. I’d never heard of someone ‘permanently stuck’ before. But for all I knew? ‘Maybe it’s possible? And if it wasn’t, well there’s a first time for everything.’

I empathized with her as much as I reasonably could. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t getting… a bit repetitive, I guess? Celia fidgeted and paced and chewed on her lip and said, “What do I do? What do I do? What do I do?!” Her eyes were full of tears and she kept giving me that same nervous look like I was a coiled serpent about to strike.

It was evening, and she was working herself up into a fit.

I held out my hand and a jug of chocolate milk appeared in my palm, I set it down on the table and said, “You sit down and drink this. Chocolate is a cure all.”

She hastened over and grabbed the jug, her bright green eyes were blurred by her anxiety, and she tilted her head back as the jug touched her lips. She chugged and chugged, gulping it down as fast as she could, the rich dark liquid sloshed about and actually poured so fast into her mouth that she lost a little bit at the corners of her lips.

Her dark hair was bobbing with her head as she stopped, gasped for breath, and started again until the jug was drained almost to the last drop. Celia then, with great care, placed the jug on my table and stretched her arms up over her head, grimacing as she tried to unlock herself from her current form.

“How was the chocolate?” I asked.

“Good. But… it didn’t work.” Celia frowned and looked down accusingly at the empty jug as if blaming the chocolate for its failure.

“But chocolate makes humans feel good. And frankly you need that more.” I said and patted the couch cushion next to mine. “You worry too much.”

“But my vacation ends tomorrow!” Celia exclaimed and bit her lip as she approached, she looked from me to the cushion where I patted my hand again.

“So?” I asked. “Just extend it.”

“I can’t.” She said.

“Why not?” I asked, I knew for certain that you could do that if you needed to.

Celia seemed reluctant at first but… down she went to plant herself, still sitting stiffly upright, her back was rigid, while I leaned against the cushion behind me, she might as well have been a student again, sitting stiff at attention as if she would be asked a hard question at any moment if she looked away.

“Because I’ve never extended a vacation before! What will people say?! They’ll call me a flake or something! And I took a job that’s supposed to be done in short order, I can’t go do it like this!” She said and slapped her hands down over her knees and squeezed her fingers tight enough that they paled a little from the tension.

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“Like I said, relax.” I said. “It’ll get handled.”

“But… my reputation! I never skip! I never flake out! I never take vacations…” She was rambling now, and I said…

“Wait there.”

“For what?” She asked, and I went into my kitchen area.

“Something to help you relax, you won’t do any better all stressed out, right?” I asked.

“I guess…” Celia acknowledged reluctantly. I pulled out a cheap pot and dumped a half a jug of milk into it. For good measure, I added a little coffee creamer for flavor, and then turned on the heat. While I stirred, she asked, “Is that magic girl in love with her classmate? She keeps doing that fake moan thing while sitting on his back as he’s doing pushups. And every time someone suggests the priestess lady sleep with the hero, she gets upset.”

“It’s implied that she has a thing for him. But this was made decades ago, if they did it today, it would be a lot more obvious.” I answered. “I love this stuff, but these genres love their gimmicks these days.”

“So if she likes him, why doesn’t she just say it?” Celia asked.

“I’d say the same reason you don’t want anyone to know you’re stuck. Embarrassment.” I answered matter-of-factly, “You probably wouldn’t actually feel as bad as you do if you weren’t stuck in a human body that was particularly emotional, as children tend to be. Everything is kind of ‘magnified’ both the good and the bad.”

“Doesn’t it get difficult?” She asked and looked me up and down as if to make sure I actually was still in the form of a human.

I smirked a little while I stirred the pot with a spoon, “Do I look like the sort to give a care about much of anything? I won’t even do my own laundry. I’m too lazy to get too emotional. I enjoy these kinds of moderate highs and that’s that.”

“Oh.” She said again and tried to watch the show. I took a sip of the warm milk with my spoon right as the adventure team started punching the shield of the villain. “That’s nice… but who gets the credit?” Celia asked while she watched the team slowly start to succeed.

“For story purposes, he does, but they’re friends. They’ll be sharing the credit… once the misunderstanding is cleared up. That’s what friends do.” I explained, and Celia looked over at me like I’d grown a second head.

“It’s ready.” I said, and taking up a ladle, I scooped the milk into a plastic cup and brought it over to her. It was a very large cup, and I gave her an almost parental order, “Drink up.”

She pursed her lips and looked at it in my outstretched hand. “The chocolate didn’t work.” She said.

“Just trust me.” I said, and her hand came out with languid slowness, taking it, she brought it to her lips and drank.

“Take your time.” I said, and while she slowed down her gulps, they barely stopped until the cup was drained and she set it down on the table with care. My table was a mess again, but that could wait until tomorrow when the next time my cleanup guy came again. I made a mental note to draw out some more cash to put on the table for him to ‘find’.

For now though, I watched as Celia drank every drop, and a moment later, she yawned.

“I’m tired… really tired…” She mumbled as the triumphal music faded and the credits rolled on screen.

“So take a nap.” I said.

“But I need to figure out-” She started to refuse, but I put my hand on her shoulder and gently pressed so that she was lying on her side. “You still have a child’s body, so you’ll need a nap to think clearly, or at least to lie down for a few minutes.”

“I guess… if it’s just for a few minutes.” She mumbled.

Her eyes fluttered, and her final attempt at fighting sleep ended in snores. ‘She really is a cutie.’ I thought, and went to get a blanket to drape over her.

Once I was sure she was asleep, I picked her up and carried her into my bedroom. After putting her under the covers, I left my room and shut the door behind me. I wouldn’t need my bed tonight anyway. I turned off the television and shifted my form back to my natural species. But not myself.

I was now a perfect replica of Celia Norn.