Chapter Thirty-One

I have to say, it’s really strange to be friends with somebody who doesn’t really understand the core concept. In some ways it was downright ‘sad’. Most people at the Agency, even those who got along were really more in it for their own reasons, they were hardly champions of justice, and as such their ‘friendships’ were very limited.

That’s not to say that nobody got along, but when your emotional depth is ankle deep, it’s hard to grasp the emotional depth of an ocean, and I was unique in that I deliberately stayed in human form for long periods of time.

So I tried to keep Celia’s feelings in mind. She kept looking up at me as the minutes ticked. Sometimes laughing at the screen, sometimes checking my expression to see if I’d grown sick of her yet. Her little nervous looks were almost embarrassing to me.

Poor thing. She didn’t really understand that I genuinely liked her. She was enthusiastic, hard working, a little nervous, yes, but that was part of her charm. She was kind of innocent too, even at the Agency, and I felt I had to look out for her.

But how do you explain to someone who has never been liked before, that you actually like them as a person?

I don’t know. All I could do was try to be patient, let her try each thing on the table, and then calm her down with another series.

I stuck my chopsticks down into the box and snapped them over the last scrap of chicken in the bottom corner, and rubbed that lump of meat all over the edges and walls to scrape up as much of the orange colored sauce as I could before bringing it to my mouth and taking a bite.

Right at that moment the protagonist of the latest series was berating his useless goddess as ‘the Goddess of Debt’ and she started calling him a ‘shut in NEET’ and Celia started laughing.

“You like this one?” I asked as I dropped the box on the floor and put my feet up on the table. It was covered in filthy wrappers by this point and some of them were tumbling onto the floor. Some by accident, some were swept aside when I needed space for the pizza boxes.

“I do, but…” Celia answered through stuffed chipmunk cheeks, paused, and closed her eyes for thirty seconds while she sucked on the bone of a chicken wing, and once again failed in her attempt.

“But?” I asked, leaning back, I patted my stomach, I was quite thoroughly stuffed.

“But she kept using NEET as an insult. Is being a NEET bad?” She asked.

“In this country, they’re not well respected because they’re seen as a burden, as lazy, as shiftless, and generally good for nothing. They’re not exactly criminals, but they’re not respected either.” I cracked a little smile, “I guess since I have a job, I’m not technically,” I made air quotes as I said that, “one of them. But I can’t exactly tell people what I do for a living. All they know is I’m getting money from somewhere and I mostly keep to myself.”

“But… don’t you want their respect, admiration, for them to look up to you?” She asked, Celia’s eyes widened, the idea of being thought of poorly did not sit well with her, clearly.

“Not really. I don’t hate them, I don’t expect them to hate me, this is my vacation time, I come here to relax, not to busy myself with other people’s business while I have stuff I want to do for me. Let them think of me as a NEET, it’s easier that way and nobody expects too much out of me.” I shrugged it off and I could see from her innocent face that it just… wasn’t computing for her.

“I just like relaxing, most NEETs aren’t actually happy, they don’t want to live this way, they don’t have a choice. I do, and that’s the difference. I want to experience laughter and amusement and great stories and good food. I love musicals and music,” I pointed at the t.v. and leaned forward, “I love their romances and dramas, all those fictions, they feel more alive to me than any single day at the usual grind. Don’t get me wrong, I do value what we do at the Agency. But what’s the point of getting rid of people who make life worse if we’re not going to do anything to make life better?!”

“So you hang out and watch t.v. all day?” She asked.

“And eat snacks.” I added. “And avoid chores.” I said through my own stuffed cheeks.

She furrowed her dark brow, “I have had fun… more fun than I’ve ever had before but…”

“But me no buts. You can’t complain about life while you’re on vacation living the best of it.” I piped in, “Listen, it’s getting late right now. If you insist on discussing my life choices… first you should wash up.” I held the palm of my hand up in front of my face and moved it up and down.

Her face was covered in cheese dust, sauce from various things, not to mention chocolate smears.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

She blinked dumbly at me a few times and then looked at her face reflected back at her in the window.

Poor Celia was not quite so covered that I could not see the red embarrassment on her face, and I chuckled as she scrambled to get to her feet and rushed to the bathroom to wash it off. “Don’t worry,” I called out, “You’ll get used to their funny mouths.”

The water was still running when there was a knock at the door. I put some cash under the pizza box on the table and went to admit my expected guest.

Asahi was standing there with his two cousins at his back.

“Hey… ah, figured I should come by now, and… I brought some help.” He mumbled.

Asahi was still having trouble looking me in the face and speaking clearly, that much was obvious by his failure to do both. His cousins, now that I looked closer at them, they had that dazed look on their face, honestly it was almost ‘drugged’ eyes glazed over and uncomprehending, the one on the left had a slightly swollen cheek.

“Can they come in…?” He asked, “They won’t take anything, I promise.”

They held up trash bags in their hands and glanced at me, then at their bigger cousin. “I suppose, many hands make light work. There’s not enough laundry right now, and I suppose I bought way more detergent than I needed, so why don’t you take some packets with you when you go, but for now just get rid of all the debris.”

“Yeah… sure, sure. Ren, Kei, pick up all the stuff on the floor. I’ll get the table, okay?” He asked, and they nodded vaguely.

I got out of the way and went to my refrigerator, Jin would probably be along soon enough, and I’d need room for whatever his mother made.

“There are probably some snacks left on the table, and I think one of those pizzas is untouched. You can take those too.” I suggested, and three rumbling bellies answered.

It didn’t take long for the three of them to clean up that little space, or for Asahi to ‘find’ the ten thousand yen I left in place, and then he led his cousins outside my apartment again. He pointed to a distant dumpster.

“Go carry those bags over there, then come back and we’ll go.” He said, and they gave dull, listless nods punctuated only by the rustling of the garbage. I stood with him on the walkway outside, the water was still running in my bathroom while Celia scrubbed her face.

“So what’s the real story?” I asked. Asahi wasn’t looking at me, he was watching them, he leaned over the rail while his cousins shuffled away.

“Ren was probably going to get a scholarship, you know that?” He asked. “Kei, he was so good at the piano he was considered a prodigy. You know what I was good at?”

“What?” I asked.

“Nothing. My whole life, I never found anything I was good at. But they never treated me bad. Ren tried to tutor me. Kei, he played the piano for me whenever he saw I was angry or upset. Now look at them. Look at them.” He raised his jaw to indicate the pair, they were fumbling with the dumpster like chimps trying to use tools for the first time.

“How’d he get that swollen cheek?” I asked. “You didn’t-” I left the words dangling, and Asahi shook his head.

“I don’t know. And they can’t tell me. I think they sort of understand me, like they take simple directions, they seem to trust me. But they can’t really communicate, they can’t write, or talk, or… anything. So I figured it was best if they stick with me for a while. Do you mind if I start bringing them over here with me? I promise I won’t let them get in the way. If they take or break anything, I’ll pay for it.” Asahi wasn’t looking at me right then, just at his ‘simples’.

“That’ll be fine… it’s probably for the best, maybe you should get them outfitted with a hidden camera or something?” I suggested, but he only shook his head.

“Fat chance, those are expensive, and we barely scrape by. It might have just been an accident, a fall, maybe the two of them got into it…” Asahi’s hands trembled over the side of the rail and only stopped when he grabbed the metal, I didn’t think he believed his own words.

I won’t deny I still had a bit of a grudge against Asahi, but watching his cousins shuffle back like husks in search of missing souls, empty, confused, and lost, I couldn’t resent them. They were as much forces of nature as they were people, not really comprehending what they were doing. ‘I might as well be angry at the clouds for raining as be angry at them for doing what they did.’ I thought, and I suppose I felt what might be called ‘pity’.

I’d have to call in another favor… but… maybe something could be done?

They smiled a little when they saw Asahi’s face again, and he said, “Time to go, we’re done here.”

They let him put his hands on their shoulders, and with a surprising amount of care, he gently turned them around, guiding them until their backs were to me.

“See you tomorrow, Kayobi.” He said, and led them away, pausing only to take up the pizza box, and bag of snacks he’d left sitting outside the door.

“Yeah… see you.” I said and watched them go until I heard Celia’s voice.

“All clean.” She said, and I turned around to see that yes, she was.

“Why don’t you take my bedroom tonight.” I said, “I don’t think I’ll be sleeping much anyway.”

“Are you sure?” She asked and looked toward it.

I did have a second space I could convert into a bedroom, albeit a small one, but it was just an empty room, and it seemed to me she’d already had a rough enough day.

“Yeah, just get some sleep. I’ll just stay up and watch a few shows for now.” I suggested.

Celia did not turn around and head to bed, instead she snorted and said, “Like that’ll happen. I want to watch, too.” She then marched over and flopped next to me on the couch.

“Fine, but don’t blame me if your body can’t keep up and you fall asleep in an embarrassing manner or something.” I said, and she huffed and tilted up her chin in a silent denial that that might happen.

I flipped to a show about a super-cautious hero filled with action, comedy, sacrifice and confusion, and we watched that one until she fell asleep against my arm. Then… I just watched it for myself. I hadn’t been lying about not being able to sleep.

And I’d been right about her not being able to keep up. I’d seen enough shows where children fell asleep early to know they needed a lot more sleep, and she hadn’t.

I chose not to move, that was too much trouble. I had my remote in my other hand anyway, and it wasn’t uncomfortably warm or cold. So I let her sleep instead, and moved on to the next episode.