Chapter Thirty-Seven

“You’ve got to let me do something for you at least. I won’t feel right if I don’t.” Celia said as she leaned forward, she was facing me and up on all fours on the couch, her face was getting closer by the minute. “You put all that effort in, and I doubted you for the longest time… I feel awful, and I need, and want to do something to show my appreciation. You’ll let me, won’t you? Come on, you hosted me, fed me, covered for me, look…” She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes at me, then brought her hand out and raised up her forefinger to forestall my answer.

“Don’t give me that ‘friends’ stuff. I don’t know a lot about it, I’ve never had a ‘friend’ before. But you have done everything and I’ve done so much squat that all I’ve got left are diddlies.” She protested and… now that she’d gone and stolen my expression, I figured… why not?

“Alright, if you insist on something… hmm… he does the cleaning… Suki does the cooking…” I snapped my fingers, “Ah ha! You can do the shopping, go to the Toriyama place for me so I don’t have to. We’ll call it even if you do that for a while, how’s that?” I asked, and flicked her upraised pointer finger before giving her a little smile.

“Wait… that’s it? Just… it’s right downstairs and on the left… and I can teleport right outside from here, it takes ten minutes. You traveled across the galaxy, impersonated me, broke what… a dozen departmental rules-”

“Closer to a hundred… technically.” I murmured.

“-A hundred departmental rules, somehow, threatened to ruin your whole job… worked all day on the biggest paintjob I’ve had in a while, one that would have taken me at least a month to finish… and all you want is for me to shop for you?!” Celia stared blankly at me.

I shrugged with my hands out and let my arms drop back down at my side.

“Y-e-e-e-e-s.” I said, dragging the word out. “I just, I really don’t need anything, and I. Hate. Chores. Shopping is a chore, therefore it is the devil and must be crushed. Or… someone else sacrificed, whatever, are you going to do it or not?” I asked.

She finally sat back on her heels and looked at me cockeyed for a moment, then flopped back against the couch. “Fine. I’ll do the shopping for you for as long as I’m here. But what do I tell the Toriyama’s when I go down like this?”

“Just stay as a child, maybe?” I suggested.

One look at her face told me she wasn’t overly fond of that idea. “What if I get stuck again?”

“I think you’re past that, I’ve heard of people getting stuck, but getting stuck twice one time right after the other? Besides,” I shrugged, “isn’t that always a risk?”

Celia was grave in her silence for a moment. When she spoke, she said, “Great… now I’ll live in fear of swapping ever again.”

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I chuckled, “Relax, if you get stuck again, just come back here.”

She relaxed a second, and that cute little smile on her human face went up again, “That actually makes me feel better…”

“You’re welcome.” I said with a cocky little grin of my own. I had good reason for it, I figured.

“Alright, Senpai, that’s the word, isn’t it?” Celia asked.

“That’s the one.” I said and reached for my wallet. “More snacks. Then I will teach you about the wonders of the yandere.”

“Yonder where?” Celia asked, and scratched her head.

“You’ll see.” I said and handed her my card, “Get whatever as long as there’s cookies.” I said, and she took the card, shrank, and then imitated one of the little anime girls we’d watched previously, complete with hand on hip pose and holding the card up like a battleflag in triumph.

“You got it, big sis!” She said, and hastened out the door.

While she was gone, I was torn between deciding on the crazy virgin succubus with winning the love of her skeletal overlord, or the ordinary human girl obsessed with the boy she used to hate who has the princesses of both gods and demons obsessed with winning his heart.

However… Before I could make a decision, there was a knock at the door.

“It’s open!” I exclaimed.

The door opened and Asahi stuck his head in the door, “Hey… do you got a minute?” He asked.

I raised an eyebrow, I wasn’t expecting him this early, not even on a weekend or… was it a holiday? Or did he skip classes? I’d lost track. I waved him on in.

“Yeah, what’s up?” I asked.

“Can I… can we sit down?” He asked, and then promptly bowed his head, “Please?”

I waved him over to the table in my kitchen area.

“Go ahead.” I said, and got up from my place on the couch, I set the remote down and went to sit opposite himself.

“The money you’ve given me has been… well, like I said. You’ve been my Buddha in Hell…” He chewed on his lower lip and had a hard time looking up at me, so I chose to set him at ease.

“Not a problem, I hate chores with the fiery passion of a thousand supernovas.” I explained, “You’ve been a big help.” Alright it was pretty trivial, clean up my place a little and do my laundry with his, easy.

“Still… thank you.” He said, and was unable to speak for a moment, I almost interrupted, but before I could finish a word, he spoke up.

“My cousins… listen, they can’t talk right, act right, anymore… ‘member last time I was here… the bruise?” He asked, and I nodded. “It turns out my mom was letting a neighbor watch them… she… she’s actually getting work now, getting out of bed… she can’t watch them all day, and neither can I. And so she left them with a neighbor. We can’t do that anymore, though.”

“Because of the bruise?” I asked.

He gave a tiny nod.

“Right… I wanted to know… maybe… is there any way you can help…” He asked, and he started chewing on his lip again, his hands were held beneath the table, and I didn’t need to see them to know they were busy wringing.

“...Maybe?” I pondered. “I might know an expert who can do something…” To be honest, I’d gotten so caught up in Celia’s mess that I’d almost forgotten the twins… she was right in front of me after all, and I get easily distracted when I’m off the job… I did feel bad about forgetting, though.

“I’ll see what I can do, just come by tonight as usual and I’ll have an answer for you. Oh and… shouldn’t you be in school right now?” I asked.

“I skipped.” He answered.

“I see, well, I’ll try to make sure you don’t have to do that anymore. Oh, and I’ll have double the laundry tonight.” I smiled a little, “Don’t do anything naughty to my underwear.”

He blushed a bright red, stood, and bowed repeatedly while blustering his thanks as he left the room, just as Celia entered. She squeezed past with two bags full of snacks and looking up at the wide jawed former yankee with curious eyes before he was out on the walkway and running off to… wherever.

“What was that all about?” Celia asked as she shut the door behind her. She set the bags down on the table, took a deep breath… and had her adult body back a moment later. “Phew, I’m not stuck.” She said and wiped a brief nervous sweat from her brow.

“I don’t know, maybe a project.” I said and rejoined her, “Now, about what to watch…”