It was ridiculous, it was as dangerous as sprinting headlong into a circular saw, it was 100 percent a Rosalind, and Mibbet approved plan.
Before they could go ahead with it though they needed to get captain Acab onboard with the idea that maybe for a chunk of the battle The Princess would not be onboard. This tactic (if you could call it that,) would be dependent on the speed of the Mer, who Mibbet was really hoping were as fast as they seemed to believe.
For now though she was too busy trying to pull somebody elses fat out of the fire.
“Your daughter I presume?”
“That she is, how did you guess?”
“I’ve got parents of my own, I know that look where you try your best to try to think of a reason not to commit murder, dad gets it a lot.” Mibbet replied with a grim chuckle. “Usually because of me, though sometimes he gets it because of some of his MP’s.”
“Well that’s a very unique approach to politics for a king, usually they don’t bother restraining themselves.
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On the subject of unique political approaches, back in the Capital Gidea Von Harmsworth was attempting one of her very own. While Lord Inna-Troff was instead finding himself in a unique position FOR a politician. Namely dangling from the northwest watchtower, upside down, held in place by rope around his ankles. He was to say the least not happy. Judging from his squeals he would very much like to try an alternative position at that time. But Gidea wasn’t really giving him much say in the matter. He briefly pondered pulling himself back up by the rope, and realised that particular plan had two major flaws. 1. with his underpowered noodle and rubber band arm muscles he wouldn’t be able to pull it off anyway, and then there was the big issue, problem number two. It came in the form of a berserker Queen who had reason to be significantly pissed off at him, who was waiting at the top for him to try that crap, partially because it would be entertaining to see, and partially because it would give her an excuse to chuck him off again, maybe this time sans rope. That did not seem like it would be particularly good for him. He could try it, and really show her what he was made of, but then she could with one push show what he was made of, in a far more permanent manner. He briefly thought about the other option, letting himself drop. Maybe he wouldn’t break everything, and the alternative was Gidea. But then at the thought a trickling sensation up his leg, and back, and neck, reminded him, he was a coward. You didn’t get anywhere by being brave, well you did, but the grave didn’t count.
Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
So he did what he had always done best, he rolled over and showed his yellow belly.
“ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT, I’LL TALK, JUST PULL ME UP.”
“Now why, oh why would I pull you up Troughy, we both know your squealing is far less likely to be missing key details if your attention is, shall we say, focused. Now tell me, what the hell is this curse?”
“High powered revulsion curse, I don’t even know how you’re here, that curse should make you hate the place so much that you’d sooner live in a sewer than stick around. How are you even resisting it?”
“You assume I didn’t have those feelings prior to the curse, you repulsive little toad. Now tell me who is responsible for this, and maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you down. The slow way I mean, however you keep playing silly buggers I’m more than happy to help you take the fast route.”
“I CAN’T TELL YOU THAT,” Lord Inna-Troff squeaked.
“Sure you can, you open that big mouth of yours, I’m sure you know how to do that, and you let words come out.”
“NO I LITERALLY CAN’T, I’M BOUND FROM DISCUSSING NAMES.”
“OH..... I see............ well here’s the thing Troughy, that curse? You put it in place while I was pregnant, you know what that means don’t you Troughy?”
“Uhhh no, I don’t.”
“It means you filthy little toe rag that when you cursed me it was with my mana channels open. Which means YOU CURSED MY CHILD TOO.”
If it was possible to go any paler while dangling upside down from a tower, while a pissed off Berserker Queen waited above, then Inna-Troff would have figured out how at that moment, but it wasn’t so instead he settled for stammering out excuses at a rate of knots.
“So let me get this straight, you can’t give me any useful information apart from the name of the curse, you can’t give me the name of your co conspirators, and if I’m guessing correctly you can’t even point them out to me. You were a participant in cursing both me, and my daughter, and you are clearly up to the eyeballs in a conspiracy that threatens my kingdom. But in order to deal with it requires evidence, one thing you were always of so careful not to leave lying around.”
“So now I’m going to ask you where you hid it.”
“I CAN’T TELL YOU, OH PLEASE LET ME UP, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE.”
“Then I’ll ask you this instead, where did you leave the HINT, I know you, you’re too careful to not leave one of those, and too greedy and stupid to not have retained any blackmail material, now this you WILL tell me.”
“OK OK it’s inside the clock on my mantel.”
“Thank you Troughy, you’ve been very helpful, now if you’ll excuse me.”
“Umm, before you go could you please pull me up?”
That may have proven to be quite challenging, as she had already left, leaving him dangling, and wondering how long he would be left hanging. Unfortunately for him a few moments later it was revealed the answer was not very long, as a pink sleeved hand emerged from the shadows, and helped him down with a knife.
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Mr Notqwyte Forthrite peered up from his paperwork with a smile.
“Ah it seems the new intern is here, right on schedule.