OVERSIZED BALLS AND THE IMPORTANCE OF A PROPER CODPIECE.
It was time, Mibbet and Rosalind had their next match due soon, and it was a big one. The armoured guy with the oversized beach-ball of doom. (His full title was apparently Guy De Crusherm, which Mibbet did feel was a name with positive connotations in the long term. Especially given the context. But armour on a figure whose wrist was thicker than Mibbet’s waist was definitely not a positive thing either.
Rosalind and Mibbet did, however, at least have a secret weapon. Before each match, all competitors were allowed to take potions and whatever food they wished. Mibbet had turned the entire town upside down and had eventually managed to track down what she needed. At her side was a flask of Jitturbugs XXXX mega espresso beansplosion. (according to legend, the brewer had been uncreative on the name front for about 2 years, then he tried the formula, and now the hard bit was he apparently STILL hadn’t finished naming it, and the name now had to go on a folded sheet of paper in with the coffee, as it definitely wouldn’t fit on the cup anymore, what you just read was the short nickname. There was speculation he would stop writing by September, just in time for the extra strong variant.) Mibbet braced herself, eyeing the cup; she had to make it quick before it ate through the steel.
“Bottoms up,” Rosalind said, as Mibbet paused for a second, then a longer second, realised the cup wouldn’t hold up much longer, and downed it.
Apparently, now the match was due to start; all she had to do was stay still while the lift took her up. But that was easier said than done, as the unbelievable urge to hop like a maniac was screaming at her and triggering every thought in her little froggy mind.
The match finally started, and Mibbet faced the impending metal ball head-on (an unwise move as between the spiked metal ball and a human skull the head traditionally loses.) But it seemed to be moving so slowly, she was jittering faster than that, heywasthatwherethenamecamefrom? Huhthatwas clever, reallyclever. She twitched around another blow from the ball, then swung at the chain with Choppy. But it was like trying to cut an anchor chain with a set of cheap bolt-cutters; all it gets you is a sore arm and something to grumble about.
Crusherm charged forward, and Mibbet dove away, trying not to think about the giant human-sized hole in the apparently spell reinforced wall. Or the potential for an armour shaped silhouette through the Mibbet if she didn’t think fast. (Luckily, not a problem in the circumstances, thinking slow for the next two weeks? Now that might present a bit of a problem, assuming she survived this, that is.)
This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.
Within a few seconds, Crusherm was back on his feet, and as you can probably imagine from somebody who had just slammed through a 3 layer wall, was just a teensy bit ticked off.
Mibbet leaping around like a hyperactive rabbit was really not helping calm him down either, but Rosalind felt that declining his request to stand still was in both their best interests, as she ricocheted off what was left of the arena walls, never staying still long enough for him to aim that damned weapon. Of course, that did not stop him from pulverising anything that may provide even a semblance of cover piece by piece just in case it proved useful. But now, his strength potion was starting to wear off, but he knew if he just kept swinging, he would get her eventually.
Mibbet jumped clear of yet another strike from the old ball and chain (literally, because anybody who uses that term to describe anything else but a literal ball and chain, up to, including, and even especially their partner is frankly a bit of a knob.) and did her best not to look at the impact crater, but it was rather hard to miss, teleport spell or not she was not getting hit by that damned thing, luckily the Guy seemed to be slowing down somewhat. But she still had a long way to go. Carefully running (or rather hopping) around, and around, and around her opponent clockwise. Getting faster and faster as she squeezed that caffeine rush for all it was worth. But she was starting to tire too, this fight had dragged on, and coffee could only carry you so far. She needed a plan, but this time she wasn’t the thinker. She couldn’t think about anything but gettingaway as amphibian brain took over. (Which wasn’t particularly helpful right now, a voice screaming her to hide in the water before the predator caught up was a very unwelcome guest at that moment in time.)
“MIBBET GO THE OTHER WAY FAST”, Rosalind snapped in her best bossy Princess voice, the one that kind of skipped the whole thought process thing and filed itself under obey with a big red flag. It took Mibbet a few seconds between hops to process and act, swapping suddenly to anticlockwise leaping the ball, as Crusherm quickly swapped directions.
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It took Guy a few seconds to realise that his beloved weapon was on a slack chain now, after the sudden direction change, and a fraction of a second longer for him to realise that was a LOT of clockwise momentum, against not a lot of anticlockwise. By that time, though, the more pressing thought was entering his head, mainly that the chain was now tangling around him, and the ball was getting closer, and closer and cl...CRUNCH.
His next thought was even simpler than the previous ones, in a word ouch.
Mibbet hopped over to her opponent, and at this point, the sportsmanlike thing to do would have been to help your opponent to their feet. Unfortunately for Crusherm, Mibbet had learned with the guard and only had one more bit of training to follow through on; she walked over to her opponent and, in one swift merciless kick, showed him why those fancy oversized codpieces weren’t just for decoration.
It took a further hour for the caffeine to wear off, then even longer for a nap, before Mibbet and Rosalind realised who they were up against next.