It may not shock you to find out, that the tea party was a hurried affair, being in an unstable reality tends not to be the most relaxing situation. At least, after they were done, their host was happy to guide them out. (They were even presented with a bouquet each, they accepted as politely as you would if presented with socks, if socks could blink and were given by a reality warping horror. Who may, or may not, take offence to your refusal, and you thought refusing a woolly jumper at solstice was awkward? Admit it you’d accept too, hell you probably still tolerate the jumper every year right?) “Thank you for your hospitality,” Mibbet said, making sure to keep her Princess smile up. (It was probably a little wilted around the edges by now, but she did her best to cultivate it.) “Now would you mind explaining what it is you want from us? We’re not as well-equipped for this place as you.” The response would have been preferable, had it been written like the earlier communication, instead, their terrifying host opened their mouth, (so many teeth, and that mouth, ugh, it seemed bottomless, if you stare into the abyss, the last piece of knowledge you would ever even wish to consider, is that the abyss had bits capable of eating. That sort of information was the kind of thing Mibbet was quite blissfully ignorant of until that point in time, oh such bliss that had been, could she go back? Pretty please?) And spoke. “Need help, bad things have found this place again, we do not want them here, please help me.” Now as you can probably figure out, it wasn’t every day you got asked to help the incomprehensible, which was a huge relief to Mibbet, who really had quite enough of worrying invitations today already, thank you very much, she really didn’t want any more. But if this thing was what was required to keep whatever the hell it was out? Then Mibbet had the feeling that she really did not want whatever it was getting in. The world did not need new apex predators, particularly of any kind that would treat the rules of the world with the contempt a big company reserves for the contents of their suggestions box. She was totally going to regret this, she knew it, yet she also knew it would be worse to leave things as they were. So, bracing herself for the horrifying, she asked. “What do we need to do?” “You need to light a lamp, nothing more, nothing less.” “Jut light a lantern, that’s all?” She had already figured out there was no way it was that straightforward, it never had been. But she had to ask, just like you have to poke at the cavity in your tooth, you know you’ll regret it, yet you still end up doing it, then telling yourself you shouldn’t have, and ten minutes later, you will end up doing it again. Mibbet despised her newly acquired human instincts. They had taken her, admittedly not brilliant, but at least functional survival instincts, and “get the hops out of there before you get eaten,” procedure. Then scrunched it up, and cast it aside, replacing it with far inferior, “Monkey see dangerous things, monkey poke things with stick, see what happens,” protocol. It was a completely unfair swap, and if Mibbet ever met the deities responsible for the exchange, she would march right up to them and demand a refund. She missed being able to hop away. “And where is this lantern we need to light?” “In the void, I would light it myself, but the lantern doesn’t like me, and I need to be here, or they will sneak in while you are trying. Then you will not like what you come back to.” That definitely did not sound like a place Mibbet had any interest in going, but the sound of what would happen if they got past this strange creature, that sounded worse. “We’ll do it,” Mibbet groaned, ignoring the whimpering coming from Errol, apparently he had not taken well to the conversation, he was muttering something about knitting needles, and eardrums. That did not sound like a pleasant conversation. “Elvira, would you mind keeping an eye on Errol, and the beasties here?” She asked, noting that Elvira looked uncharacteristically relieved for a moment, it seemed there were some things even she did not wish to muck about with. Elvira silently gave a nod, she didn’t seem to be feeling particularly conversational at the moment, (not that Mibbet blamed her for that, if she could get away with it, she’d have been avoiding all sound herself right now. It felt like her ears were trying to crawl off so as not to be forced to hear any more of whatever the hell it was that had been said at them by the eerie individual who had planned this expedition. That did not bode well for what lay ahead, still, it had to be done.) “I still can’t believe we’re doing this,” Rosalind grumbled. She wasn’t particularly chuffed here either. “Sir Leeroy, Addy, you two are with me, I know this is big, and scary and definitely outside your job description. Hell I’m sure it’s outside mine too, pretty sure Princesses duties, and jurisdiction does not include the void, weird parallel realities, or any other place beyond the basic framework of our corner of the multiverse. So consider this duty voluntary, in the real sense, no army voluntary before you misunderstand Sir Leeroy. You can both expect a pay-rise for this, and potentially a promotion, assuming we survive.” “How about permission to retire,” Sir Leeroy replied jokingly. “Seriously though, I’ve been at your side almost as long as Sir Humphrey, if you’re going into the void Princess, then I’m following you. Just like the Jenkins family always do. How about you, Addy.” “I do not mind admitting, the place does sound unpleasant, but I am here to explore, and learn. I cannot do that if I retreat as soon as there is danger. I will join you.” “You heard the construct, just point the way,” said Mibbet, with a grin that looked disturbingly like one Gidea would wear.
Bargain, voided.
目录
- 1Ch1 Today can go lick a slug
- 2Ch2 Sqwoomph
- 3ch3. Bert and Ern
- 44. The Village
- 55. Magic Drinking Mud
- 66. A Royal Pain.
- 77. Even princesses love big choppers.
- 88. In which the princess does not learn her density.
- 99. ALWAYS expect owls.
- 1010. The almighty floof.
- 1111. Two wrongs don't make a Divine Right.
- 1212. Palatial Pandemonium.
- 1313. There was a young princess who swallowed a fly.
- 1414. Killer Cuisine
- 1515. Fili-Busted.
- 1616. Fili-Busted pt2 the annoyening.
- 1717. Committee Commiserations
- 1818. Blatant Biccy Bribery.
- 1919. Doing their bidding.
- 2020. Medus Operandi
- 2121. Thou shalt not scab.
- 2222. Dark deeds, pink robes.
- 2323. Diabolical dealings (and worse, lawyers.)
- 2424. What the hellcat.
- 2525. Abominable itchies.
- 2626. Charcoal and catnip.
- 2727. Countdown of chaos
- 2828. Changes (100 page interlude)
- 2929. Where's my jolly boat?
- 3030. Unwise actions and answers.
- 3131. Lesson plans, and a not so old man.
- 3232. Bach Schtabbing
- 3333. I spy with my groggy eye.
- 3434. One flu over The Frog Princess
- 3535. Jingly balls and fancy balls.
- 36Ch 36. Enter Elvira
- 37Ch 37. Mibbet Dislikes Demonic Drill
- 38Ch 38. The frogs and the bees
- 39Ch 39. Carriage on regardless
- 40Ch 40. de-motivational
- 41Ch 41. Insidiocy.
- 42Ch 42. No horse town
- 43Ch 43. Holy Hops
- 44Ch 44. Escargross.
- 45Ch 45. Tenor ous bonds
- 46Ch 46. Ledretter day
- 47Ch 47. Divine Dalliance.
- 48Ch 48. Pestilential pokeys
- 49Ch 49. Rocks fall
- 50Ch.50 Gulp
- 51Ch51. Ed's dead?
- 52Ch52 Mantles and messes
- 53Ch 53. Chocolate, Creepy clowns, and Cats
- 54Ch 54. Crypye Crawly
- 55Ch 55. Not even for a spideysnack?
- 56Ch 56. Epic-Curious.
- 57Ch 57. Alcohol observation diary of a froggy Princess..
- 58CH 58. Oh beer oh dear.
- 59Ch 59. No crossroads for me, thanks.
- 60Ch 60. Divine union and disastrous dalliances.
- 61Ch 61 Former farmer Palmer.
- 6262. Palmer's plight.
- 63CH 63. Shinies and Slashers
- 64Ch 64. The axe-orcist 2, the prankening.
- 65Ch 65. Unmasked, and signs come to those who ask.
- 66Ch 66. Sqwoomphlettes, and supersoaker spells
- 67Ch 67. Fairweather friends
- 68Ch 68. Prosaic pachyderms, and suspicious mushrooms.
- 69Ch 69. The Mark of De Quarrell.
- 70Ch 70. He wants you too, Malachai.
- 71Ch 71. Staring down a massive crack.
- 72Ch 72. Fricassee frog, and negotiation tools.
- 73Ch 73. Knock Knock.
- 74Ch 74. Negotiation, and near breakdown
- 75Ch 75. Stryke action.
- 76Ch 76. Revolving invertebrates.
- 77Ch 77. Build a bridge, and get over it.
- 78Ch 78. Unsolicited stick pics.
- 79Ch 79. Grark; and stupid snobby flying lizards.
- 80Ch 80. Protopanic
- 81Ch 81 Titan lizards, and technicalities.
- 82Ch 82. Cloaking technology.
- 83Ch 83. Schrodingers wrath
- 84Ch 84. Crossovers, and Clusters.
- 85Ch 85 Mushroom to grow.
- 86Ch 86. Splitting up is always messy.
- 87Ch 87.Fungal floundering.
- 88Ch 88. Cute is subjective
- 89Ch 89. In or out?
- 90Ch 90. Sneaky shadows
- 91Ch 91. Ringlets, and revenge.
- 92Ch 92. Communication breakdown.
- 93Ch 93. Spore Subject
- 94Ch 94. Beware the edge
- 95Ch 95. Tomb raiding 101
- 96Ch 96. Some assembly required.
- 97Ch 97. some RE-assembly required.
- 98Ch 98. Going clubbing
- 99Ch 99. Inside us all is a skeleton waiting to get out.
- 100Showmanship (100 chapter spooktacular).
- 101Ch.101 Baddie Bingo
- 102Ch 102. Baddie Boom
- 103Ch 103. Revolutionary wars, and flame wars.
- 104Ch 104. Resolutions, and the benefits of freediving as an undead.
- 105Ch 105. O'deer O'deer
- 106Ch 106. Ballistic Bambi
- 107Ch 107. Weave seen too much.
- 108Ch 108. Gidea a Surprise.
- 109Ch 109. Cruel, and unusual
- 110Ch 110. Beware of creepy consecrators.
- 111Ch 111. Who are you?
- 112Ch 112. Ravynmardi, and the importance of proper leaf placement.
- 113Ch113. Brawlers, and bawlers.
- 114Ch 114. Oversized balls, and the importance of a proper codpeice.
- 115Ch 115. Cool yule kegger.
- 116Ch 116. Mitch the liches magical yuletide slay ride, (Christmas special).
- 117Ch 117. Ice won't break your fall, but it will break other stuff.
- 118Ch 118. ROYAL RUMBLE.
- 119Ch 119. We have ways of socially obligating you to talk.
- 120Ch 120. Acorns, Carob, and cruel and unusual snacking.
- 121Ch 121. Neyt VS NEET.
- 122Ch 122. Deliberations, and no more procrastination.
- 123Ch 123. Cat amongst the (messenger) pigeons.
- 124Ch 124. Who ate all the pies?
- 125Ch 125. Send in the clowns.
- 126Ch 126. Fears of a clown.
- 127Ch 127. Tunnel of Terror.
- 128Ch 128. Resolving resolutions.
- 129Ch 129. Unspoken rules.
- 130Ch 130. Water mystery.
- 131A story on an estuary
- 132Oracles and coracles pre cursed by precursors.
- 133Office or eldritch.
- 134Feeling the pinch.
- 135Glazen corsetry
- 136Sand witch run
- 137Playing Possum
- 138Wibbly wobbly limey wimey
- 139Dealing with the lawyers
- 140Spite and bite
- 141Divine devices and dilemmas
- 142Query:
- 143Machine.ations
- 144Race against time
- 145Run grark Run.
- 146Choosy swords.
- 147Reptiles Rocky Revenge.
- 148Gentledragon Grark
- 149A tale with some bite (Caymen POV)
- 150Ratty rising
- 151Bunny business on the road.
- 152Rattropolis, a visitors guide.
- 153Enter the Grey Twins.
- 154Rattanian
- 155Rumble inn the tavern.
- 156Barroom blitz
- 157Hell is boybands
- 158A real twist.
- 159A (not so) little complication.
- 160Twisted ambition
- 161Spellbreaking and entering.
- 162Enter Mister Tickles
- 163Twists Time and Tentacles
- 164The old firm
- 165Real ratswarms
- 166Closure
- 167Trouble self delivers.
- 168Cursed blue boxes.
- 169Puddles, and heroing hordes.
- 170Cones and Conspiracies.
- 171Curse of Itse 'kai
- 172Carsus Belli
- 173Pupper preparations
- 174Charge of the bite brigade
- 175(Not so) Stealth mission.
- 176Fluff this invasion in particular
- 177The array
- 178Giving the devil his due
- 179Speaker system.
- 180Wondrous weapons of wiffle.
- 181The road to hell will not be paved with blue boxes.
- 182Which way to everwitch way.
- 183A good landing.
- 184Remember folks always land on your head.
- 185Meet the cacklers.
- 186Cacklers and their cats.
- 187Broomstick or Boom stick?
- 188Good geekery is infectious.
- 189Creative process
- 190Taking shape.
- 191Sketchy activities with Song.
- 192Soaring boars
- 193Rodeo needs a roasting tin.
- 194In which Sir Leeroy finally cracks
- 195One of us, one of us.
- 196Flying lessons with ol' Bessie
- 197Am I alive?
- 198PUPPY!!!!!!!!
- 199The Mad Mages Maze.
- 200The wand prix (bumper megalong 200 chapter special part 1 of 2.)
- 201Wacky Mazes (200 chapter bumper bonus part 2 of 2.)
- 202Maze-hem
- 203A-maze-ing encounter.
- 204Like talking to a wall.
- 205(Don't) sleepover at Labby's place.
- 206Open oral cavity insert foot
- 207Shush
- 208Ecco Caves.
- 209Bless you
- 210Don't wake It up
- 211Princesses prefer preventing painful perforation.
- 212Pulled pork, now with long pig.
- 213Quiet please.
- 214Jussasayme
- 215The devil in the detail
- 216Comply.
- 217The great filing begins.
- 218Plotting pandemonium.
- 219A dash of chaos.
- 220Punctual planets.
- 221That interview could have gone better.
- 222A red mark.
- 223Little boxes
- 224Between arc special: The Checklist.
- 225DONK.
- 226Homecoming scream.
- 227Guess who's coming to dinner.
- 228A fae-ly unexpected visit.
- 229Seedy behaviour.
- 230A thorny issue.
- 231Poison oak is no joke.
- 232Cue dramatic escape music.
- 233Digging deep.
- 234Trees and POV's
- 235Treed negotiations.
- 236Lakemake.
- 237Princess Falls.
- 238Boom with a view.
- 239Bridging a breach
- 240Homecoming Queen.
- 241Ready to roll.
- 242Oh FLUFTENTUFTENS.
- 243Fluften this.
- 244Tough Fluf
- 245Double trouble.
- 246So Megolo-done with this.
- 247Daveejons.
- 248Meeting the crew.
- 249The sound of regret.
- 250Fun fact, tattoos HURT. (250 chapter extended edition.)
- 251The royal crash test ,dummy.
- 252Sneaky Sneaky.
- 253Tidal Talks
- 254Don't harpoon rubber.
- 255Going up?
- 256IT COMES OFF?
- 257The fine art of baiting.
- 258The Don Vs. The Quacken.
- 259Clash of the titans.
- 260This is the plan? You must be quackers.
- 261The Wellerman's defiance
- 262Ducking sea.
- 263The Whopper of Streyts.
- 264Introductions are in order.
- 265Last voyage
- 266A truly skippable chapter of the saga.
- 267The Gods love a loophole.
- 268The Gods REALLY love a loophole.
- 269Launch party.
- 270Pulling out of port.
- 271Humanity vs. tears in reality.
- 272It's SHOWTYME.
- 273Tick, tick, tick.
- 274TeE ParTEe
- 275How to politely leave a collapsing dimensional tear, during a party.
- 276Bargain, voided.
- 277Chekhov's sock.
- 278Don't notice me, Se-h’m Pye.
- 279Peek a boo
- 280Tig You're IT
- 281GeORgE
- 282Havoc
- 283Trouble brewing.
- 284Reflection, and meditation (honest.)
- 285Stand and deliver, if you don't mind.
- 286Stand and deliver, maybe?
- 287Formal policy.
- 288Dodgy Dave, and the core precepts of Dave'ing.
- 289in which Dodgy Dave doesn't know nuffink.
- 290Nick's gang.
- 291Giving it your best shot.
- 292This was a bard idea.
- 293I'M TELLING MY MUM ON YOU.
- 294In which the Butler did it.
- 295Spooky Samhain Side Dish: Patch Notes