Novels2Search

Bargain, voided.

It may not shock you to find out, that the tea party was a hurried affair, being in an unstable reality tends not to be the most relaxing situation. At least, after they were done, their host was happy to guide them out. (They were even presented with a bouquet each, they accepted as politely as you would if presented with socks, if socks could blink and were given by a reality warping horror. Who may, or may not, take offence to your refusal, and you thought refusing a woolly jumper at solstice was awkward? Admit it you’d accept too, hell you probably still tolerate the jumper every year right?) “Thank you for your hospitality,” Mibbet said, making sure to keep her Princess smile up. (It was probably a little wilted around the edges by now, but she did her best to cultivate it.) “Now would you mind explaining what it is you want from us? We’re not as well-equipped for this place as you.” The response would have been preferable, had it been written like the earlier communication, instead, their terrifying host opened their mouth, (so many teeth, and that mouth, ugh, it seemed bottomless, if you stare into the abyss, the last piece of knowledge you would ever even wish to consider, is that the abyss had bits capable of eating. That sort of information was the kind of thing Mibbet was quite blissfully ignorant of until that point in time, oh such bliss that had been, could she go back? Pretty please?) And spoke. “Need help, bad things have found this place again, we do not want them here, please help me.” Now as you can probably figure out, it wasn’t every day you got asked to help the incomprehensible, which was a huge relief to Mibbet, who really had quite enough of worrying invitations today already, thank you very much, she really didn’t want any more. But if this thing was what was required to keep whatever the hell it was out? Then Mibbet had the feeling that she really did not want whatever it was getting in. The world did not need new apex predators, particularly of any kind that would treat the rules of the world with the contempt a big company reserves for the contents of their suggestions box. She was totally going to regret this, she knew it, yet she also knew it would be worse to leave things as they were. So, bracing herself for the horrifying, she asked. “What do we need to do?” “You need to light a lamp, nothing more, nothing less.” “Jut light a lantern, that’s all?” She had already figured out there was no way it was that straightforward, it never had been. But she had to ask, just like you have to poke at the cavity in your tooth, you know you’ll regret it, yet you still end up doing it, then telling yourself you shouldn’t have, and ten minutes later, you will end up doing it again. Mibbet despised her newly acquired human instincts. They had taken her, admittedly not brilliant, but at least functional survival instincts, and “get the hops out of there before you get eaten,” procedure. Then scrunched it up, and cast it aside, replacing it with far inferior, “Monkey see dangerous things, monkey poke things with stick, see what happens,” protocol. It was a completely unfair swap, and if Mibbet ever met the deities responsible for the exchange, she would march right up to them and demand a refund. She missed being able to hop away. “And where is this lantern we need to light?” “In the void, I would light it myself, but the lantern doesn’t like me, and I need to be here, or they will sneak in while you are trying. Then you will not like what you come back to.” That definitely did not sound like a place Mibbet had any interest in going, but the sound of what would happen if they got past this strange creature, that sounded worse. “We’ll do it,” Mibbet groaned, ignoring the whimpering coming from Errol, apparently he had not taken well to the conversation, he was muttering something about knitting needles, and eardrums. That did not sound like a pleasant conversation. “Elvira, would you mind keeping an eye on Errol, and the beasties here?” She asked, noting that Elvira looked uncharacteristically relieved for a moment, it seemed there were some things even she did not wish to muck about with. Elvira silently gave a nod, she didn’t seem to be feeling particularly conversational at the moment, (not that Mibbet blamed her for that, if she could get away with it, she’d have been avoiding all sound herself right now. It felt like her ears were trying to crawl off so as not to be forced to hear any more of whatever the hell it was that had been said at them by the eerie individual who had planned this expedition. That did not bode well for what lay ahead, still, it had to be done.) “I still can’t believe we’re doing this,” Rosalind grumbled. She wasn’t particularly chuffed here either. “Sir Leeroy, Addy, you two are with me, I know this is big, and scary and definitely outside your job description. Hell I’m sure it’s outside mine too, pretty sure Princesses duties, and jurisdiction does not include the void, weird parallel realities, or any other place beyond the basic framework of our corner of the multiverse. So consider this duty voluntary, in the real sense, no army voluntary before you misunderstand Sir Leeroy. You can both expect a pay-rise for this, and potentially a promotion, assuming we survive.” “How about permission to retire,” Sir Leeroy replied jokingly. “Seriously though, I’ve been at your side almost as long as Sir Humphrey, if you’re going into the void Princess, then I’m following you. Just like the Jenkins family always do. How about you, Addy.” “I do not mind admitting, the place does sound unpleasant, but I am here to explore, and learn. I cannot do that if I retreat as soon as there is danger. I will join you.” “You heard the construct, just point the way,” said Mibbet, with a grin that looked disturbingly like one Gidea would wear.