of their usual bait into one of the traps rigged around the camp.)

COMMUNICATION BREAKDOWN

it was the middle of the night (or close enough anyway) when the entire camp finally got to stop pretending to be asleep, as the quiet of the night was rent by a twang, a snap, a sproing, then a noise not at all unlike the sound of a guinea pig in distress (or just being handled at all, you know what fuzzy little drama queens they are.)

Everybody dashed out, weapons ready, only to find themselves confronted by a strange creature with little black eyes, short stumpy legs, gills (the mushroom type, not the fishy type in the interests of clarification,) and a literal mushroom cap in purple with red spots. It did not seem to find dangling upside down in a trap to be a fun thing to do, and as you would expect, was squirming to try to get free and eyeing the fading fire in the distance like it was going to pounce on them at any moment.

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*&$* and the others had been watching these strange intruders ever since they entered the forest; who could blame them? The creatures were armed, and smelled of fire, had a pet burning thing, and weren’t falling asleep, exploding, or turning into a shambling cannibal from the spores. Any one of those things was trouble with a capital T, all of them at once? That was not something they wished to mess with, especially since something seemed to have woken up in the tomb nearby lately, and it did not seem friendly.

So they watched, careful not to be spotted, trying to ascertain if the intruders would side with them or whatever it was that was trying to bust out of their erstwhile prison in the deep groves. There was one slight snag, though; these intruders never left a fire side, except the one made of burny rock, and being roasted was not on *&$*’s to-do list.

Then one night, as *&$* was standing and watching for the fire to go down, something rolled up to their mycelium and stopped. They had no idea what it was, but it smelled really, really tasty, and eventually, they couldn’t resist. NOMNOMNOM, that was good; maybe if they stayed close, there would be more. Sure enough, a little while later, another tasty good thing rolled out, but it was too close to the hot. *&$* puffed a little in disappointment, hoping their spores weren’t loud enough to give them away. Over the next night or two (hard to sneak in daylight, so instead they fused with the mushrooms nearby and napped till dark,) they watched, snagging any treat that rolled far enough from the hot. Until at last the hot got less hot, that was good, fire bad, hot hurt. So they crept in closer and closer, being careful not to puff. Until their coveted prize was in sight, another tasty thing.

They stepped closer and closer, then suddenly, the entire world was upside down (it took a while for them to figure out they’d been uprooted, that was not a good sign.)

The narrative has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Then all of a sudden, the intruders piled out of their sleeping places and got closer and closer. *&$* was scared; she was too young for this. So she thought back on what the others had taught her, sometimes the animals round here were scared if you made a lot of noise. So she screeched, shrieked, bellowed, and wailed, but the intruders seemed quite undeterred.

Trying to calm themselves *&$* thought on what she could do. They were captured, scared, and alone, and it would take a while for the others to dare get close. Not it was up to *&$*, their only real chance was to stay calm, wait for rescue, and try to show their captors that they meant no harm. Maybe this was their chance to start a real dialogue with them. Be a hero, and maybe with enough effort, set up some real communication. Thinking on the right words to say *&$* started what can only be described as the most convincing speech they could come up with, one so famous it would go down in Spore-ling history.

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Mibbet watched their prisoner as it started to cough out a massive cloud of brightly coloured puffy clouds, getting bigger and bigger as the strange creature grew more animated.

“What in the hell is it doing?” She asked.

“Damned if I know”, Sir Leeroy replied. “Well, at least it isn’t trying to fight, or the poison is too weak to get through our masks.”

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*&$* was horrified; they had tried their best; how could these creatures not understand? Nothing could fail to be touched by the tale of ^&^& and the *&%^, the bit with the ^£$%£$%$ didn’t leave a dry eye in the house. How could they not know the tale, feel touched by the plight, and let them go?

Instead, more and more of them gathered around making horrifying noises, and they could tell from the way the masks moved these intruders were making chewing noises. By the first pomf were they going to be eaten? Panic filled their mind as they struggled desperately against their bonds. They were too young to fry. They wriggled harder, trying to get free, but there was no escape. So they did the only thing they could (a completely understandable reaction in the circumstances) and started to cry.

That seemed to get a reaction; it seems these creatures, while primitive, understood tears. Maybe that was a way to reach them. *&$* kept crying, and they could have sworn the intruders were in their own strange way trying to make them feel better. Soon she was untied and lowered to the ground. Though they didn’t seem to be letting them escape, it was a start.

*&$* tried communicating again, and again they failed. It was not reassuring at all to think that maybe these creatures only understood misery, but no matter how emotive the cloud she poofed, it was like they weren’t picking it up at all. *&$* almost felt sorry for them, until one, it seemed they were the one in charge, approached once more and reached out a hand. *&$* flinched, but the leader only became more insistent until eventually *&$* accepted. Then noticed what it was; it was a tasty. Cautiously *&$* popped it in their mouth. Sincerely hoping they weren’t trying to fatten them up.