VISUAL EFFECTS / CH. 9: DEPARTURE PLANS

8 P.M., THURSDAY 19TH MAY, 2270

Mid-meal, Simon's wrist unit rang. “Hello, Mum.”

“Hello, Simon. Sue's just been telling me there's some news you ought to tell me.”

“Ah. Yes, there is, quite a lot. Urm, I'm on a date, Mum.”

“I wondered at the background noise, it didn't sound like your lab, and I've tried ringing you at home I don't know how many times since Saturday, and you seem to never be home.”

“Sorry, Mum. We've been doing a lot of talking.”

“And does the other half of that 'we' have a name?”

“She's called Alice, mum. She's a Christian, intelligent, beautiful, and now blushing.”

“I see. And your parents need to be the last ones to know?”

“Sorry, Mum.”

“Sue said she'd talked to that reporter on Saturday. She was an Alice, wasn't she? You're not saying you're on a date with her are you?”

“Yes, Mum. Did you see Alice's public apology yesterday? Jim Stephens interviewed her all about it.”

“He's a nice man.”

“You didn't see it then?”

“I saw your dad watching something about charities and stuff, but I was in and out of the room. Was that her?”

“I expect so, mum.”

“Hmph. I'll have to watch it again, won't I? Why couldn't you find a nice Christian girl?”

“Mum, Alice is a Christian. She was away from the Lord when she made the report on Sue's mission, but she's come back to the Lord now.”

“Hmph. And I suppose you'll want to introduce her to us sometime, will you?”

“Yes, Mum.”

Alice decided it was time to intervene, and spoke into Simon's wrist unit, “Mrs Bunting, I've apologised to Sue, and to the nation as a whole for what I said, and I'll apologise to you too. What I said was simply lashing out in anger at Christians who kept reminding me of my pain and loss. I was ashamed of it soon afterwards, and I'm sorry for taking so long to be brave enough to apologise. I don't really mind talking about my past, but I'd prefer not to do it over the phone in the middle of a restaurant. Would it be possible to visit soon?”

“Oh? Yes, I suppose so. We're not going out as far as I know, and Simon still remembers the way, I expect.”

“Mum! It's only been a fortnight since I last dropped by!”

“Hmm. And a flying visit that was, too. Oh, we are going out tomorrow, I'd forgotten.”

“Bridge club?” Simon guessed.

“Yes.”

“And then Dad'll be fishing on Saturday, won't he?”

“Of course he will.”

“So, Mum, why don't Alice and I pop round this evening, when we've finished eating? I get the feeling the waiters want us to finish quickly, anyway.”

“Oh, well, but I haven't got any food prepared...”

“Mum, we're just eating, remember? Would you like us to come straight after dessert, or should we drink a cup of tea or coffee before we come?”

“Oh, don't go buying tea at a restaurant! It's far too expensive.”

“OK, mum, see you later.”

“See you later, Simon.”

Red faced, he ended the call. “Sorry, is that O.K? Mum would probably spend the whole time cleaning and cooking cakes if she had more notice.”

“Its fine, Simon,” Alice reassured him, “but it does raise an important issue.”

“Oh?”

“Is tea available on Mars?”

“Good question. I presume so.”

“If not, then I'm going to be taking tea plants.”

“How long do they take to mature?”

“No idea, no, hold on, I read it once. I think you can start picking after three or four years. Too long, I expect,” Alice laughed, “most people would say, what about meat? I say, is there tea there?”

“Hmm. I wonder about oats. And I think I can guess the answer.”

“Oats?”

“I'm err.. rather partial to porridge.”

“The things you learn about a man.... How partial?”

“I have eaten other things for breakfast... sometimes, in desperation. But I can't imagine there being arable farming on Mars. It got to be far too inefficient, surely?”

Alice looked at him in horror. “No bread?”

“I seriously doubt it. Unless you can make it with root vegetables, or maybe gloop?”

“Oh wow. I'm going to need to write a book of questions.”

“Not to mention a whole heap of articles.”

“Hmm, maybe not an article on every one, it'd get boring.”

“And I get the impression you're never boring.”

“I'm sure I can be. Should I try?”

“Not on my account. I love you just the way you are.”

“But maybe you're falling in love with your image of me as a dynamic, exciting person, full of danger and intrigue, when what I really want to be is a boring farmer's wife.”

“Hmm. So does that mean I ought to hurry up and become a boring farmer if I'm want to stay in your good books?”

“Oh you! I meant the boring wife of a farmer, not the wife of a boring farmer. And I wasn't talking about marriage, I was talking about stereotypically uninteresting people.”

“How many farmers' wives have you known?” Simon asked, “Having grown up in the country, I've never found them that boring unless you really despise the natural world.”

“Fine! Please give me an alternative role you would accept as boring, so I can restate my sentence.”

“Do you need to?”

“Yes. I don't want the responsibility of you taking a leap into the unknown because you're fascinated by a false image of me.”

“God said I needed to go with you.” Simon pointed out.

“No, he said I mustn't go alone. Based on current plans, I won't be.”

“OK, I retract that statement. God said you need my protection. I fully intend to be there to offer it. I also want to point out that you are the one who raised the whole romance issue.”

Alice sighed, “I know. I shouldn't have, should I? It was too early. I jumped the gun. Again.”

“Alice? Are you trying to say you're having second thoughts? About us, I mean?”

She shook her head. “Not long term. I just want to know that you're not thinking that if you don't throw your research away and come with me on this journey that you'll lose any chance with me. I know why I want to go, I just don't want the strain on our relationship of you hating every minute there.”

“Oh. I probably need to show you two things then.”

“What?”

“Number one is this.” He showed her a message on his wrist unit from the University.

'Dear Dr Bunting, regarding your query about changing your affiliation to the University of Mars. Given the nature of your research, the costs associated with it, and the recent request for additional space by other, better funded projects, we are fully supportive of your idea to move your project to another location, and have let the Mars University know this. We will of course be sad to lose you, but hope you have a productive career there.'

“Does that mean they're kicking you out?” Alice asked.

“Not quite, but as you can see they're not exactly begging me to stay.”

“What's number two? Letter of invitation from Mars University?”

“Oh, didn't I show that to you on Tuesday? Sorry, I meant to.”

“No,” Alice said, staring at him in amazement. “So what is the second thing?”

“It's on Mum's wall, unless she's taken it down.”

“The man's getting mysterious.”

“It's a picture of me when I was fourteen.”

“As a farmer?”

“Sort of.”

“You don't want to talk about it, do you?” Alice realised.

“Not really, not here.”

“OK. So, what shall we talk about?”

“Are you thinking of coming back?”

“Pardon?”

“What you said earlier, about me not needing to go, are you thinking you'll come back to Earth?”

“I'm not sure. If you stayed here, I'd come back, I think. I wouldn't want to make God a liar. But otherwise? I've got no real ties except friends, and after two, two and a half years they'll have moved on, I'm sure.”

“You're thinking of what you dropped hints to 'Jack' about?”

“Yes. And no, I'm not going to drop any extra hints.”

“The very fact that you're thinking it'd make God a liar...”

“Might mean I was thinking 'who's hand will I be holding when I die'

“But not very likely, since you're not giving me extra hints.”

“But God gave me no hints about timing,” Alice said

“Except there are a couple of time limitations.”

“There are?”

“Yes. Depending on what you asked, of course.”

“I wonder if I dare ask.”

“I wonder if I dare answer, or if that counts as jumping the gun. But don't worry, I've no plans to let them get near.”

“What are you talking about, Simon?”

“Not jumping the gun, and not missing the boat either.”

“Hmm. If that's as explicit as you can get, we'd better order dessert.”

“Actually, I've got a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“In your understanding of our culture this day and age, not thinking of anyone in particular, you understand, urm, is it necessary urm, for the man to ask the woman, or urm, can the woman ask the man now?”

“Ask what?” Alice asked. He was blushing furiously, so she was fairly sure she knew what he was getting at.

“Oh, sorry. The big question, urm, you know, 'will you marry me?'”

“No need to apologise, of course I will.” she replied with sparkling eyes.

“Alice!”

“Sorry. But it did seem too good an opportunity to miss.”

“Can you, please, without misconstruing what I was asking, answer the question about our culture?”

“As far as I know, Simon, it's still normally the man's job to do the asking, and the woman's job to hint to him that it's about time he asked.”

“That didn't constitute a hint did it?” he asked worriedly.

“Do you think we know each other well enough to make that decision yet?”

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

“No.” He looked relieved, then frowned. “So what was that 'of course I will' about?”

“Teasing.”

“Oh, right. So I can tell my liver to get rid of the adrenaline.”

“You can do that?” Alice asked, intrigued.

“I don't think so. But at least my brain brain can stop generating it.”

“Was it really that scary a thought?”

“Intellectually, or emotionally?”

“I don't know. Shall we decide what dessert to eat instead? The waiter's coming.”

----------------------------------------

8.45PM, SIMON'S PARENTS' HOME.

“Dad, let me introduce Alice Findhorn.”

“Hello, Mr Bunting,” Alice said.

“Dr actually, but if you've managed to coax Simon out of his shell you can call me Frank. Come on in. Did he treat you to a good meal?”

“Yes, thank you. Except that half the desserts were off the menu, and the other half didn't really appeal.”

“Hmm. Bad choice of restaurants there, Simon.”

“According to the waiter they had a bus-load of students come, order a plate of chips between five and three desserts each,” Simon said.

“But I think he was exaggerating.” Alice chipped in “I saw them moving tables apart as we went in. I'm pretty sure there was only space for twenty students.”

“As you can probably guess, Simon, your mother's reverted to cooking some cakes, so maybe it's a good thing you didn't have dessert.”

“I can't say I'm surprised,” Simon said. It was, he'd told Alice on the way, his mother's usual reaction to visitors coming. Or, alternatively, not coming. Or even being talked about. Simon stared at the familiar picture on the wall, a fourteen year-old, standing proudly beside a row of tomato plants, with a small compost heap behind him. “It's still here, Alice.”

“Oh, wow,” Alice said, peering over his shoulder and taking in the significance immediately. “No wonder you asked if I was thinking of staying.”

“Bethany!” Frank called, “Simon and Alice are here, and I think they've got something to tell us.”

A crash from the kitchen, followed by Simon's mother “You're not telling me you're engaged already are you?”

“No, Mum. Can I introduce Alice Findhorn? Just so you know... I met her last Thursday morning tea-break, when God told me that the woman about to walk past the building needed my help and protection, and was on the right path for a great work. He also said that she must go, but not alone or she wouldn't survive.”

“Hello, Alice. Frank's told me about your interview.”

“The bit of God's message Simon likes to leave out was that I'm not cursed. That was rather significant, since I was told that I was, and would bring a curse on everyone close to me. My parents died less than an hour after I was told that.”

“That's what you meant about your world falling apart?” Frank asked.

“Yes. My parents died, and I had to live with my non-Christian grandparents, who were always too busy to take me to Church.”

“You poor thing,” Bethany said.

“So, Simon's message was utterly convincing, and I almost convinced him on Saturday that if he was going to be getting to know me really well like he planned, so that he'd know how I react in different circumstances, then it'd be a lot easier to call him my boyfriend. Then after lunch one of his friends tried to chat me up, and Simon actually told him to stop trying to make a move on his new girlfriend.”

“So no, Mum, we're not engaged. But the journey Alice is going on...”

“Sit down dear.” Frank interrupted.

“It's to Mars, isn't it?” Bethany said. “You're finally going?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“But your research project's another six months...”

“The University of Mars would be happy for me to do it there, and the university here want the lab space for something else with a bigger budget, so they're practically leaping up and down for joy and asking when I'm going. Oh, Dad, I thought you'd like to know, the latest results are saying the same thing.”

“So what on Earth is happening?” Frank asked, momentarily distracted.

“Good question. I think it might be forming a microscopic forcefield, and when that collapses then the energy's released in a burst.”

“It's not the right circuit for that, is it?”

“Not for normal ones, but there are other forces.”

“And the University want to chuck you out?”

“What I've said is all guesswork at the moment, I haven't even worked out if the energy release is collimated or isotropic.”

“Why not?”

“Only one detector so far.”

“Tricky one there.”

“Yes. But the detectors are Mars-built, and Mars has plenty of good vacuum pumps too. So I'll take the board which hardly weighs anything. The detector I could take or sell, and the rest of the equipment I can get there.”

“And you're going too, Alice?” Frank asked.

“Yes. The channel want me to set up a Mars office, the University want me as a part-time lecturer, and I'm investigating a story with Mars connections.”

“All while trying to feed yourself?” Frank asked.

“Well the Mars office bit can wait, they're going to be happy for some stories to start with, and the University courses are apparently synchronised with the immigration season.”

“That must be totally out of synch with seasons and everything.”

“Everything except the massive flux of people, yes. But since they get some students from Earth, and also rent out student accommodation to tourists, the twenty-six month cycle has a certain amount of logic. Plus of course Earth-bound exports take a lot of man-power during the same period.”

“I thought everyone arrived and left at the same time? Bethany asked.

“Within a month or so, yes,” Simon explained “Tourist trips get there as early as they can, the tourists stay a month or two, then leave as late as they can without making the trip too long. Early arriving ships leave with cargo, for a slower trip. You can always make the trip take longer, but you really don't want to try leaving for Mars too late. The later you leave, the less cargo you can take.”

“But that balances out with food for the journey, surely?” Bethany asked.

“Not really, mum. Just think how much of your weekly shop is actually water, juices or whatever. With recycled water, you could live a very long time on a suitcase full of rice and vitamin pills.”

“That doesn't sound like a very healthy diet,” Bethany said.

“Simon's not saying we'll eat that,” Alice said, “But the point he's making is that an extra month of food needn't weigh that much. I've looked at the amount of weight Mars Corp counts as one ticket — that's including ourselves. If we'd left today on a fast route, the sort tourists take, one ticket would have got us a hundred and twenty kilos, and on a slow trip that would arrive around closest approach, it would have got us two hundred and fifty. For the last possible trip out, one ticket counts as twenty kilos, so I'd need three tickets before they even let me on with a change of underwear and a toothbrush.”

“And you do need to take food and water, plus any tools, equipment, and so on that you want to take.” Simon pointed out. “So a hundred and twenty kilos isn't so generous if you're migrating.”

“So you need to take your own gardening tools and everything?” Frank asked.

“I don't think so, Dad. Mars has plenty of iron, plus loads and loads of energy. We'll need to ask advice what we should take.”

“And you're going soon?”

“Final launch is the eighth of July. Looking at the baggage allowance, about sixty days before closest approach is about the latest you can take a reasonable amount with you, that's the 25th of June.” Simon replied.

“And is there space on that transport?”

“Yes. Well, there was earlier today. There is on all the transports, actually.”

“That seems a waste,” Frank said.

“I think there are a lot of last-minute decisions, people trying to get the money together, that sort of thing.”

“Plus the transports are actually designed for the cargo. From the sound of it, the cabins fold away when not in use. Oh, and I was reading the Mars Corp accounts today. You know they say that they subsidise people going to Mars, and but not the journey back? The only way you can make that true is if you make the ships pay for themselves after ten years. If you spread it over twenty or thirty, which I'm told is far more realistic, then they're making a profit on both legs. It's just that on the return journey, Mars Corp Exports lets Mars Corp Transport charge them a massive amount, and passengers are competing with the cargo for space. But, ah, don't tell anyone that yet, please.”

“How did you get hold of the accounts?” Frank asked.

“Freedom of information request to the crown,” Alice said.

“That sounds like an administrative mistake.”

“Why?” Alice asked, curiously.

“It might get their majesties in trouble.”

“Could you expand on why you think that, Frank?” Alice asked.

“Because Mars Corp like throwing their weight around, and they're likely to demand damages against the crown if you publish anything as sensitive as their accounts. I mean, I got forced into retirement just for daring to suggest that there were some discrepancies in some data they'd published.”

“I thought you said the company had decided to close down your department?” Bethany said.

“It did. But only due to Mars Corp pressure,” Frank said.

“Might I ask what your work was?” Alice asked.

“Statistical research, the thing Mars Corp didn't like was my analysis of how much Mars Corp must be paying its workers, given the transport costs involved.”

“And you published it?”

“The boss didn't believe me, so asked Mars Corp for confirmation. Soon afterwards, their lawyers rang, and I was asked to retire for the good of the company. It was carefully explained to me that Mars Corp had threatened to sue the company for three years turnover if I didn't (a) sign a gagging contract and (b) leave the company.”

“So you can't be quoted on what you worked out as their salary?”

“No." He paused and then said, "Peanuts,” he gave a longer pause, “are a fascinating topic. They're not a nut but technically a sort of legume, you know? The pod grows underground, and so some people think they're a tuber, like potatoes, but it is actually the seed from the pod that we eat.”

“I'm glad we're not thinking of working for Mars Corp wages then,” Alice said.

“Hmm. I wonder if I am.” Simon pondered. “I'll need to check on that contract.”

“I think what we actually have though is an interesting exchange rate.” Alice said. “Basically Mars Corp don't seem to allow currency conversion, except through the direct import of plant matter.”

“And in the name of biosecurity, they carefully sterilise everything, so you can't fill up your luggage allowance with tea saplings, Alice,” Simon said.

“That's not fair!”

“But the good news is that seeds did get imported, and there are some people who specialise in growing tea.”

“So I can survive?”

“I certainly hope so. But Dad, the thing is, the Martians think their unit of currency is worth a lot, sensible tourists take their own food, and everyone, especially Mars Corp, are happy with the situation.”

“Because the currency's not worth a lot?”

“Yes and no. It's directly useful, but Mars Corp are almost certainly fibbing when they tell Martians they're importing extra biological material to pay people.”

“Then where do they get it?”

“Everyone has an account at the treatment plant,” Alice said. “You make a deposit, get a receipt and you can make withdrawals in sterilised fertiliser for your field. We think they're um... skimming off at the processing plant.”

“But half the population works for Mars Corp!” Frank pointed out “Surely they can't skim off that much without people noticing!”

“They're mixing in regolith. That's always been the practice, according to local knowledge, but how much? That's the question. Controlling the mix is like printing money, but as long as there are enough migrants to fill the jobs, desperate to grow their own vegetables in money, so they can escape from eating gloop, Mars Corp can continue exporting.”

“Gloop?” Bethany queried the term.

“If you live in one of the big domes, have no alternative, and put in enough hours for Mars Corp, you can eat the nutritionally balanced food compound known locally as gloop. Apparently it tastes like boiled cardboard, but without the appetizing texture.”

“And you're subjecting yourself to that, for your job?”

“No, we've got a better offer, Mum. We're not going to a Mars Corp slave camp, we're going to stay with an established family, the daughter's been going to my Church the past year or so.”

“You're both staying in the same place?”

“Yes, Mum.”

“Hmm. That's convenient, I suppose.”

“I'll be sharing a room with their daughter, and Simon with her fiancé also from Simon's church.”

“And once we get there, Mum, we'll be doing our jobs, working for our food and shelter, and working our land, too.”

“You're buying land, then?”

“Everyone there gets land, Mum. The only real question is whether you cultivate all of it, some of it it or none of it.”

“Oh. What's your plan?”

“Some of it,” Alice said. “Because we're both arriving with invitations from the university, we're counted as making a contribution to the planet, which gets us extra land. Of course if we don't live up to our contracts, we lose that extra and quite a bit more. Simon's getting a free ticket, because he's going to be full time at the university. I'm getting sent there by work, so they're paying for me.”

“You've got your invitation?” Simon asked.

“Not officially, but I heard they were processing it.”

“That's great!”

“So, we just need to talk to the others about whether we're travelling as a foursome or not.”

“So this is definite?” Frank asked.

“Definitely going? As long as Alice gets her invitation,” Simon said.

“I think they're sending me with or without it, Simon. They'd like me to get it because they don't want me bored and screaming to come home, but this is the biggest story of my lifetime. I'm definitely going. I don't know if I'll stay, but I'll give it a go.”

“Does your university post get you a trip home if necessary, Simon?” Bethany asked.

“Yes, one ticket home. But I get something like five kilos of non-food luggage. In exchange for the trip home, the university gets to sell anything else I take with me or buy there.”

“So neither of you are going to be stranded there,” Frank said, ever practical.

“But you're planning to stay aren't you?” Bethany asked. “If all goes well. It's been your dream so long, Simon. You're going and you're going for good, and we'll miss our son's wedding and never see our grandchildren.”

“Sorry, Mum, but...”

“I know, it's not a surprise. I just wonder how many people had the same dream and decided to scrap it for another one, like my brother. All ready to go, but he met your aunt before he'd got the ticket money. And you've met Alice here, I presume that means you're not waiting for the other lass to show up, Simon? Another dream gone.”

“Other lass?” Alice asked, looking at Simon in confusion.

“His dream-girl,” Bethany said. “He dreamt that he was talking to a girl, oh, a year before going to university, I guess. He was heart-broken when it stopped. Absolutely insistent that it hadn't been a dream, I could hardly get him to eat anything. Anna, you said her name was, didn't you Simon?”

“No mum, it was Alice,” Simon said.

“Oh! What a coincidence,” Bethany said.

“I sketched something for Sue on Saturday, which I remembered. It surprised both of us. Her with what it showed, me with some more of the memory when she told me. Would you like to see it?” Alice asked.

“Urm..,” Frank said, deciding that he'd like to know what connection Alice's memory had with Simon's invisible girlfriend.

“Feel free to talk to Sue for confirmation,” Alice said, starting to sketch on her wrist pad. She carried on talking: “We were walking along the ridge, before a certain house came in view. And I was recognising more and more features of the landscape, and getting puzzled because I'd never been there before. And then I told Sue there was a white-painted thatched cottage around the corner, with the thatch getting a bit tired. And how it was odd, because how could I know the floor plan of a house I'd never been in?”

“My desk wasn't there,” Simon said.

“It was before you got rid of the train set,” his father corrected. “How?”

“It wasn't just an Alice, it was me. Just before my parents died, and I became convinced that... doing what I'd been doing to talk to Simon wasn't from God, but was demonic. I abused a special gift from God, rejected it along with the help I could have had, and he's taken it away, mostly. But I can still talk to Simon. As for seeing grandchildren... well no one's solved the speed of light yet, and video messages aren't nearly the same, but they're possible, at least. And maybe when Mars Corp aren't controlling the monopoly on transport any more prices will drop. But Simon, I've got a question for you.”

“Urm, yes? Go ahead,” Simon said, trying to keep up with Alice's rapid change of topic.

“Does Sue always look like that?”

“Like what?”

“Ha, Men!” Alice exclaimed disparagingly, shaking her head. “Totally unable to notice more than one person at a time. She was looking healthy. Unusually healthy. Does she always look like that?”

“Urm, not sure. I suppose she looked relaxed and happy. Less stressed than normal.”

Bethany's hand went to her mouth. “Are you suggesting...?”

“I'm thinking aloud. I know less than nothing, except that the only times I've seen friends looking that healthy... Well they weren't fitting in the same clothes a few months later. Excuse me, I'm just having an attack of conscience. I'll just admit what I've said.” [Sue? Alice here, I'm not listening in, and I hope I'm not calling at a bad time, but we've just told your parents we're going to Mars. Your mother was talking about not seeing her grandkids and I've just speculated aloud about how healthy you were looking. I hope that's not ruined a surprise, or it wasn't painfully out of place, but... I guess I'm a reporter at heart, and I was reporting what I noticed. I'm really really sorry for not thinking of checking with you first. Now might be a good time to call. Your parents know I can do this, by the way.]

In their lounge, Sue put down her book, and spoke to her husband, “I'm going to tell my parents, OK, love?”

“Of course. I'm sure they'll want to pray with us.”

Sue dialed. “Hi, Simon, tell Alice she's apologised enough, and pass the phone over to Mum, can you?”

“Of course. Mum, it's Sue. Alice, Sue says you've apologised enough.”

“Sue?”

“Hi Mum. Alice says she's been speculating aloud.... She's on target, but it's still early days, you know. Please pray, you know how often we've been through this.”

“How long?”

“I'm six weeks, today, Mum. I'm unstressed, enjoying life, taking all the right vitamins, and praying a lot.”

“You lost the others around five weeks, didn't you?”

“Yes, Mum. So, maybe, this time...”

“Oh, Sue! Of course we'll pray. She's got to six weeks, Frank.”

“Oh, praise God!” Frank exclaimed.

“Have you spoken to a doctor?” Bethany asked.

“Yes. They said keep taking the vitamins and avoid stress.”

“Did Alice tell you...”

“They're going to Mars? Yes.”

“She's just shown us a sketch she showed you.”

“On the hillside? Yes, fascinating!”

“Simon's invisible girlfriend in the flesh. Well I never!”

“You knew about that? Well, Saturday was a wonderful study in watching love develop, on both sides. She can be self controlled, tell her, I saw it.”

“They're leaving in about a month.”

“I know. They're obeying God's plan for their lives, Mum. So I presume it'll all work out with all the usual hitches and lumps but they'll get there in the end. But Mum, don't bother cooking any cakes for their journey. We've got some people there, so this is the voice of experience. They shouldn't eat much before they fly anyway, and it's all weighed down to the gramme, so if you hide a surprise cake or two in their luggage then something else they've planned to take will have to come out, at the departure gate. So just don't think of doing anything like that.”

“Oh!”

“I'm just saying that that happened to one of our people. His Mum had hidden a fruitcake in his bag of clothes. Firstly, it wasn't his clothes for the journey anyway, so the cake was ruined, and secondly he had to leave his paper Bible at the gate to make up for the weight, because it was that or his spare pairs of trousers. So no little surprises.”

“But...”

“None at all, Mum. It might be nice on a normal journey, but this isn't a normal journey. If you try to surprise them with something, the surprise at the gate is going to be unpleasant.”

“OK, Sue, I understand.”

“I hope so, Mum. Our lad out there really missed his printed Bible, and it's costing his parents about two hundred to send it out to him.”