DIPLOMATIC EFFECTS / CH. 5:QUESTIONS
GREAT HALL OF ATLANTIS, THURSDAY 3RD JAN
After Jake and Karella had exchanged vows, the food was brought out and the security cleared guests mingled, and ate finger-food. Svetlana found herself next to Catherine.
“Catherine, have you had a good visit?”
“Very good. Did you know that there's a academy here, full of political philosophers?”
“I never thought philosophy paid well.” Svetlana commented, “How do they eat?”
“Oh, it's their hobby, but they do give advice to the council. Most of it contradictory, of course, since they love arguing.”
“Hmm. I'm not sure that sounds very useful.”
“Oh, I think it is, because by arguing with each other's points, they help council to not overlook things.”
“And then the council passes on their findings to Queen Karella, I presume?”
“Yes,” Catherine agreed. “In one meeting I was in I'm fairly sure I heard your title and name mentioned, your highness, but it was in Mer and they wouldn't tell me what that was about.”
“That bit was discrete of them, at least,” Svetlana said.
“Do you have any idea what they might have been talking about?”
“Are you merely being a curious constitutional trouble-maker, or are you being a reporter?”
“Ah. Sorry if I have given offense, your Highness.”
“If you faithfully promise to not print anything identifying me, I'll ask you this: how do you stamp out bribery when everyone thinks it's the only way to get things done?”
“What about legalizing it and taxing it out of existence?”
“Pardon?” Svetlana was shocked.
“It's an idea I had some years back. Bribes are income. Income should be taxed. For legitimate gifts like birthday or wedding presents people need to give a declaration to that effect, say to be submitted within two weeks or something like that. You could have exceptions if you like, for certain categories of people, like beggars, church workers and missionaries who live from donations, maybe waiters and waitresses too, or just consider it as part of their income. Make people declare it when they receive it, and tax it, and let the givers also declare it for some kind of rebate, either on the basis of a receipt or a sworn testimony. It'll give you a lot of bureaucratic hassle, but I guess you've got the bureaucrats already. By legalising it you let it all be done electronically too. Make that so much simpler that everyone does it that way. Then also, make it hard to get high value currency, or even any.”
“You are a trouble maker, aren't you?” Svetlana said, smiling. “How does this help get rid of it?”
“You allow people to pay thank-yous for good service, but you also have a list of people who might be not doing their job properly. You punish them in the normal way, and tax evaders, of course. And you tax it just as though it's normal income, but give rebates at the basic rate of pay. Then you can afford the bureaucracy, and you're popular with the common people, at least, I assume they're the ones paying. Slowly you increase the tax rates, say half a percent extra a year.”
“If there are refunds, then people will think they can ask for more.”
“Ooops, I forgot. You allow people to back-date their claims five years. Not at the full rate, of course. It won't be a hundred percent accurate, but you tell the bribe-takers that if there's clear evidence that they're demanding more, then you'll hit them with a full audit of their tax affairs, as far back as they've been working. Make it clear that this is a way to slowly wean people off giving or receiving bribes.”
“Have you discussed this with any economists, political philosophers, and so on?”
“No, your highness.”
“Olga,” Svetlana said, turning to her lady in waiting, “Please exchange contact details with Catherine, and translate. I find your radical approach intriguing, Catherine, and would encourage you to publish a paper on it somewhere appropriate. Maybe get the opinion of the academy here, and publish that alongside it, or actually, if they record the proceedings somehow, perhaps they would like to make those available to the wider academic world? If no one will publish it in the West, I could encourage its publication in Russia.”
Once Olga had translated, Catherine couldn't resist asking “You do not feel there is irony in applying royal pressure to ensure a paper on corruption is published?”
“Of course, but I am offering, you are not asking, and I want your idea discussed. We are talking of bribery not corruption in general. If Olga used her influence with me for personal gain, that is something that has been punishable by death since before I was born. Of course, the same goes for you, now. You may bring to me matters that cause you concern, but you may not accept any reward for doing so.”
“You are saying I am now deemed to have influence at the Imperial Court of Russia?”
“Certainly. We have been introduced, have had a conversation, I remember you. You may make fun of that in your newspaper if you wish, but it is a legal definition.”
“And making fun of it to sell papers doesn't count as making use of it for personal gain?”
“No,” Olga explained, “but accepting a bribe or other direct or indirect benefit in order to ask her Imperial Highness to help with something would. But you will not do anything like that, I think?”
“Certainly not!”
“Well then,” the Tsarevna said, “let's stay friends and stay in contact, OK?”
“Of course, Tsarevna,” Catherine said, wondering how to explain that to her readers.
----------------------------------------
RUSSIAN EMBASSY TO ATLANTIS, FRIDAY 4TH JAN 2278
“Yelena?” Mikhail said as breakfast drew to a close, “Can we talk?”
“Isn't that what we've been doing?”
“I meant the two of us,”
“Of course,” Yelena said.
Once in Mikhail's office, he asked “Prince Rudolph of Switzerland, what do you know about him?”
“He's learning Russian. I met him a couple of days before New Year. Why?”
“Have you checked up on him at all? Olga is wondering, he seems interested in the Tsarevna. She thinks its mutual, but was concerned that he wasn't just after her because of her status, or something.”
“You want me to ask or investigate?”
“I would be very happy if you could discover, today or tomorrow, if he's genuine, if he's left a string of broken hearted girls behind him, or anything like that.”
“Is there something special about the day after tomorrow?”
“Yes, it's Eastern Christmas eve.”
“That's true.”
“And I'm hoping you'll agree to us exchanging vows.”
“On Christmas eve?” Yelena asked, “That won't work, will it?”
“It won't?” Mikhail was surprised.
“Of course not. Some of your soldiers, not to mention superiors, will be really offended at the idea of a wedding on a fast day.”
“Why didn't I think of that? Sorry.”
“Our parents are here until the evening of the eighth. Let's take our vows that day.”
“You are beautiful and intelligent and I love you.”
“You're biased, and I love you too. Let's get married!” Yelena replied.
“How about on Tuesday?” Mikhail suggested.
“If you could inform parents, the Tsarevna, etc., I'll find out about young prince Rudolph.”
----------------------------------------
RUSSIAN EMBASSY TO ATLANTIS, MIDDAY, FRIDAY 4TH JAN 2278
Yelena looked up from her computer as Mikhail entered the room, “I have a result for you.”
“Prince Rudolph?”
“Yes. Considerable concern among some people at home why he's not shown any signs of looking like he's got girlfriend yet, mild concern why he's going to corrupt Russia to learn economics. He's not short of money, and he's been active in his Church, and immediately joined the Christian union at University. The trip to Atlantis was the result of a poetry competition the ambassador there ran. A girl in his Bible-study won and she had to choose five others to go too. She chose two other girls, her boyfriend, Rudolph and another lad. Possibly an attempt at matchmaking, since she already had a boyfriend, or maybe she brought him hoping they'd get preferential treatment. I'll happily chat to her if you like.”
“How'll you find her?”
“I have an address, I have a map.”
“Ah! Cunning! Are any of the others in the exchange programme?”
Yelena checked, four of them were. “Actually, yes, four of the six.”
“So, since we've got space at the table now that Yuri's gone, you have my permission to invite the six of them to the embassy, if you like. We even have an excuse.”
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
“To talk about the university?” Yelena asked.
“Or St Petersburg.”
----------------------------------------
RUSSIAN EMBASSY, ATLANTIS, 5PM FRIDAY 4TH JAN.
“You've done what?” the Tsarevna asked in a calm but displeased tone.
“I've asked the four future exchange students from the Helvetic Confederation, who'll be studying at the University Yelena and I went to, to come with any questions they might have. And since they're here as a party of six, I invited their other two friends too.”
“So this is nothing at all to do with me spending half the morning exploring Atlantis with prince Rudolph?” Svetlana asked, suspiciously.
“Did you?” Mikhail asked, “I thought you were having flying lessons.”
“That was the other half. You didn't know?”
“Ah. I've had no instructions to keep you under observation, your Imperial Highness. I do have a standing order to promote our culture and win friends, and I did ask Yelena to check up on him because Olga thought that you might have assumed she would have done so before introducing you.”
Svetlana processed that, “She didn't?”
“Not really. On the device that looks like her wrist unit, she has a special little program that takes pictures of people and identifies them.”
“Ah. Specialist hardware?”
“Very, from what she's told me. At least partly her own design. So, anyway, he overheard her giving a Russian lesson to some Mer and introduced himself as Rudolph whatever his family name is and while her wrist unit was playing spot the face, she asked him if he was such a shame to his father that he gave no patronymic.”
“Did he understand?”
“Yes, apparently. Or at least he understood she was rebuking him for not using it, and he corrected himself. By then she knew who he was, and probably found out some more from him in person. That was just before she introduced you.”
“He was surprised she knew he was royalty.”
“Now you know,”
“And now she's checked on him?”
“Yes. She found nothing of concern. Three of his friends are coming to the Imperial University.”
“One is his body-guard,” Svetlana said. “And Olga seems forgetful she's supposed to be mine, and my chaperone.”
“Should I speak to her, Highness?”
“I do not especially feel the need for either function, but...”
“It is not particularly appropriate for you to spend time with a young man unaccompanied, Tsarevna. I will speak to her.”
“I was going to say, Mikhail, that she seems more in need than I. The merman named Xavier seems most taken with her.”
“I understand that Merfolk typically grab first and apply logic later. That's one reason they have a long period of going out together, to assess if it was really a good idea to start. I'm not sure I approve, but I'm told it is a cultural thing; if you're interested, you start walking together. She should avoid saying anything about 'walking with me' without a destination, or he'll think she's claiming him as a boyfriend — either can ask.”
“Uh oh “, Svetlana said “So being lost, and wanting the reassurance of company, she might have asked that the first day.”
“I will certainly speak with her, Tsarevna. And if necessary with him also.”
“Thank you, Mr Ambassador.”
“I presume your flying lessons remain a secret?”
“Yes. Life is complicated enough as it is.”
“Your highness?” Mikhail asked, wondering she meant by that.
“Sorry, it's just Rudolph. At the New Year party he asked if we could meet informally when he gets to St Petersburg. Today he said something like 'we'd better not spend much more time together or people will get the wrong impression.'”
“He might have said that seeking some confirmation of your feelings.”
“He then carried on and said 'Especially with me coming to St Petersburg, we wouldn't want anyone to think we're getting romantically involved, when we're not.'”
“You feel that you are?”
“I thought I was, and I thought he was.”
“Maybe he is totally inexperienced in understanding his heart, your highness, or is telling you he's scared. Yelena found he had never shown any signs of looking for a girlfriend.”
“Scared?”
“Scared of causing an international incident, perhaps, aware how easily he might offend you and through you your father. The Helvetic Confederation are a small country with a very egalitarian society — they still have popular votes on policy matters. He is probably very uncomfortable with titles.”
“He is.”
“So, when he fails to use yours, it is probably more a case of forgetfulness than intimacy.”
“So I might have been misinterpreting his egalitarian tendencies for something else?”
“I would consider that possible, your Highness. Or, as I say, perhaps he does not know his own heart.”
“I think I need to know before I leave this place,” Svetlana said, thoughtfully.
----------------------------------------
EMBASSY OF THE RESTORED KINGDOM, ATLANTIS. 6PM, FRIDAY 4TH JAN, 2278
“I have an idea,” Prince Albert said.
“Believe me, your highness, I'm interested,” Sue said, trying not to yawn; it had been a long, tiring day.
“We've been trying to polish these pages and pages of detail, to cover everything, but the intention of all this is to say we're allies, we'll talk things through and we won't assume the worst, isn't it?”
“Well, yes.”
“So, I'm really sorry for suggesting this after all the work that's gone into this, but... how about we just sign a treaty saying that, add the stuff you've got about trade and so on, and some clauses about what processes we'll go through if there's some irreconcilable differences developing?”
“Urm. Isn't that what we did?” Lara asked.
“I think we got carried away, beloved,” Harry said, “when we were describing what allies might and might not do.”
“You mean, we keep the conflict resolution stuff, but leave the allies stuff to common sense?” Lara asked.
“What do you think, Amos?” Albert asked.
“I think we can do something similar to the conflict resolution stuff, too. Sorry, Lara.”
“Don't be. Can I summarise what we've got at the moment?” Lara asked, “'We will seek to resolve disputes ourselves, if that is not possible, we will go through a neutral mediator, if we cannot resolve them and cannot agree to disagree, then....' Sorry, we didn't actually get to that case.”
“Then we will dissolve this treaty amicably, and as part of that dissolution a state of peace will be agreed to for a period of no less than two years,” Albert suggested.
“What's that two years for?” Amos asked.
“Failing anything else, fitting Atlantis with enough antigravity devices to fly it to Mars, say. But really, I'm thinking it's to make sure that there's enough time to reconsider, realise what's been lost, and so on, but not so much that anyone is ever so upset they say they won't wait that long, and breaks the treaty.”
“In which case, what?” Amos said.
“They're a dangerous shark, of course.” Lara said, surprised at his question.
“In which case,” Eliza said, “they either deserve what's coming for being terminally stupid, or know what's coming and think they can hide behind the army. I hate to say this about someone who's probably a descendent of mine, but if one of my children or grand-children or great-grandchildren starts taking after my father and treating people like so much disposable cannon fodder, I hope your people will treat them like you'd treat a dangerous shark, as an individual. So I suggest that the treaty says that treaty-breakers will be held personally accountable for their actions and decisions.”
“You want that in the treaty?” Amos was shocked.
“Amos, you don't know what my father was like. I only know parts; my friends and my aunt have conspired to protect me. He was ignorant, and arrogant, and convinced he was one of the first thought-hearers on Earth, a superior human. He considered everyone else's life worthless. I want what I said to be in the treaty because an absence of war between our nations is worth more than one megalomaniac's life, no matter who's descendent he or she is.”
“You don't think assassinating a monarch would cause a war?” Sue asked.
“Not unless the whole government had gone mad. I suppose that's a possibility,” Eliza said, grimly. “But I still want it in there. Albert, ultimately it's your decision, and Karella's.”
----------------------------------------
EMBASSY OF RUSSIA, ATLANTIS, 9PM FRIDAY, 4TH JAN 2278
After noticing Rudolph gazing at her face when he thought she wasn't looking, again, Svetlana decided it was time to find out what he was actually thinking. At a suitable lapse in the conversation, she said “Rudolph, I have an idea for a game. Can we discuss it outside?”
“Urm, OK.”
She led him onto the balcony and firmly shut the door. Atlantis didn't really have weather, but there were fluctuations in temperature; right now, it was cool.
“What's the game?” Rudolph asked.
“It's called total honesty,”
“Err,” Rudolph said.
“I say something totally honest, and then ask you a question. And then you give me the totally honest answer, make a statement if you want to, and ask a question, and so on.”
“This is a game?”
“Very good at helping communication,” she said.
“I could ask you anything?”
“I can not answer, if it is insulting, no that is the wrong word, sorry.”
“It sounds scary,” Rudolph asked. “Do you really want to play it?”
“Yes, particularly with you,” Svetlana said. “That was my answer. Now my statement: I have noticed you looking at me quite a lot and think you are attracted to me, but now you are scared. Do I scare you?”
“Yes. No, not you in particular; relationships, who is the right woman to date and marry. Doesn't it scare you?”
“As an Imperial princess, fourth in line after my nephew and niece, I am a political chess-piece, to cement a treaty or ensure there will be one; I have a veto, but I am sure I will never marry a commoner. My father suggested a marriage to Jake would help there be peace between our nations, I did not know Jake, but to establish peace I argued that he should consider it, and called him selfish for wanting to marry for love. I did not know his beloved was translating for me, poor Karella. He answered very cleverly that since there could be no treaty about the wedding there could not be a wedding for three years. I wish them every happiness.” Rudolph stared at her in horror.
“Now you are more scared of me?” she asked.
“I'm scared for you. How can you live under that pressure?”
“I do not feel under pressure. I just know I will marry a prince, what I want to know is if my father thinks of you as a suitable husband, do I tell him we've met and you don't like me?”
“I like you, I do not know you well enough to say more. Do you think there might be war between Russia and the Mer?”
“I do not think so. My father liked Jake's answer. Would you like me to suggest you to my father?”
“Can't we pretend to be normal people and get to know each other first?”
“A month ago I applied to the Imperial University, to study economics. I will dress as a normal student. As we pretend to be normal students, would you like me to tell people we met here, and became friends?”
“You're going to be in my classes?” It sounded like eagerness, “we'll meet every day?”
“Almost every day. But you didn't answer. Does that thought scare you?”
“I like the thought of being friends with you, Tsarevna Svetlana.”
“But only friends?” she asked.
“You said you are not free to marry who you choose.”
“I do not like to tell people things that are wrong. I said: I can suggest, I can veto, and the Tsar can veto. But, please, Rudolph, do you privately hope that friendship might be able to grow to love, or do you hope only for friendship, and peace, and a nice wife from your own culture? If my father asks, what do I say?”
“It is too early to say, surely? I am third in line to the throne of a small neutral kingdom. Why would your father approve of me?”
“I don't know, maybe to make people think they will be discovered if they have a bank account full of bribes in your country? But I think you are avoiding the question, are you trying to politely say you do prefer the idea of a wife from home to a Tsar's daughter?”
“No. I am saying I am too nervous about relationships to make a decision to go out to someone I barely know, no matter how beautiful and fascinating you are,” he said, feeling like he was walking a very dangerous tightrope carrying a bomb called his emotions.
“You think I'm beautiful and fascinating?” Svetlana asked.
“Yes.”
“And scary.”
“All this talk of marriage is scary, terrifying!”
“Sorry. I needed to know. I will tell my father you are a possibility, but you would need to know me more.”
“And if she asks, I will tell my mother you are beautiful and persuaded me to talk, and I like you enough I did not climb off the balcony.”
“It's a long way down,” Svetlana said.
“No, I mean I have climbed off a balcony before,” Rudolph admitted, “two years ago.”
“Running away from a girl?”
“The princess of Luxembourg,” Rudolph admitted.
“I have met her,” Svetlana said. “The rumours that say she only ate sweets, pasta and deep-fried food before her seventeenth birthday are an exaggeration. I personally witnessed her eating a slice of cucumber covered in mayonnaise once. You did not like her well-rounded figure?”
“I did not like her lack of faith, or the way the seams on her dress looked like they would soon split open from the pressure, or her declaration that since we were almost neighbours we should develop a special friendship.”
“She's eating more healthily now,” Svetlana said, “and losing weight, I hear.”
“That's good for her health, at least. I'm still not interested.”
“So, how many names are there on your list of girls to get to know better?”
“You really want to know?” Rudolph asked, tensing up again.
“Yes.”
“Three until these last few days, now there's four.”
“Including Anelie?” Svetlana asked about one of the girls in the group.
“Anelie is not on my list.”
“No? I had the impression she thinks she is.”
He shook his head in denial, “no; she doesn't. Or she shouldn't. She's going out with my cousin. Shouldn't we go back inside?”
“What do you think of my game?”
“You... really want to do that in there?”
She gave a wicked laugh. “Could be fun seeing people's reactions, don't you think?”
“I hope questions about national security get a veto.”
“Of course. Everything gets a veto, but then they can ask two questions. Thank you for not vetoing any questions.”
“It is a good game to help communications, let us see what they think.”
Rudolph said, opening the door for her.