DIPLOMATIC EFFECTS / CH. 22:A PRINCESS IN HER FIEFDOM
BASSE-MONACO, FRIDAY 7TH MARCH, 2279
“About a year ago, I invited the Christian Union here,” the C.U. members heard Princess Claire du Basse-Monaco announce at the introductory meeting outside the youth hostel. Some of them had imagined little more than a wooden shed, so were very pleasantly surprised. “I do hope you enjoy your stay. Do remember that this is a feudal principality and what you might think are your human rights might not be. There will be no littering, and of course no lewd behaviour, otherwise I'll need to change the law or have you publicly flogged. You may have a camp-fire on the beach, well away from the buildings, as long as all you leave are ashes, but not even a candle in your rooms, nor any water-fights — under the beautiful plaster-work, the walls are made of straw. Most of you know Arrianne DuBois; she is is Marquise of this part of the beach, as well as the King's fiancée; Krista here speaks with my voice. If either gives you an instruction you will similarly obey it. You can take photos, but I've been advised — by the Russian Secret Service if you must know — to avoid letting anyone take a picture of me that shows where this mole is on my cheek or which shows both my eyes. Apparently either of those would be too much of a security risk for me, as is anything that would let someone do an iris scan. Ask before taking photographs, it's not only polite, but might be illegal if you get the wrong person in the shot, like me for instance.
“If you find reporters sneaking around — they are often here — please warn them that the princess is in residence, and she has no desire to interrupt her time here just to confiscate cameras. Any questions?”
“What constitutes lewd behaviour?” someone who thought they were hidden at the back asked.
“The exact phrasing of the law is long and complicated; my grandmother wrote it and she felt laws ought to be very detailed. Feel free to look it up, but basically anything that a sensible-minded person would consider inappropriate for a family beach will earn you a public flogging. Under fives are allowed to run around with no clothes on, students are not, and since you're here with the Christian Union expect yourself to be held to the very highest standard.”
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BASSE-MONACO, SATURDAY 8TH MARCH, 10PM, 2279
“I have been told I don't know how many times today that I'm in love with a very generous woman,” Rudolph told Svetlana. “It's a lovely place you've got here.”
“Ha. Don't they realise that this place would be almost empty otherwise? The low season is really low around here.”
“Your point being?”
“That the food is is still earning an income. You've studied more economics than I have.”
“I have, yes. And I've seen your accounts, remember? And I've heard about the fund you set up for hard-up students. I contributed, actually, but anyway, the point is you're a very generous woman, your highness. Stop pretending otherwise, please, at least with me.”
“Cheat.”
“And I was wondering...”
“Yes?” Svetlana asked, looking out over her favourite beach, next to her favourite man, on a beautiful star-lit night.
He whispered, “Will you marry me, Claire du Basse-Monaco, princess of this beautiful place? Daughter of your father, and heir of other titles?”
“You need to ask my father's approval first, Rudolph of Switzerland. You ought to know that,” she chided.
“When I last spoke privately to your father, I asked if I might ask you while we were here. He said that he thought it was a entirely appropriate to ask for the hand of princess Claire du Basse-Monaco in her own fiefdom.”
“When was that?” Svetlana asked.
“You were helping your mother upstairs after lunch.”
“Sneaky man. You didn't think it appropriate to ask the Duchess of Moscow for her hand there?”
“I thought of it, but really, that's not quite as much a significant title, is it?”
“No?”
“She has no accent, my beloved, not such a different set of clothes. If I fell in love with the woman I met in Atlantis and am publicly going out with the woman beside me, why should I propose to the duchess, who is neither one nor the other?”
“They're all me, Rudolph.”
“In one way. But I think at heart princess Claire is who you're most relaxed as. The sad thing is that unless I break up with Claire and then start courting someone else, then Claire will not survive much longer, and it will be because of me.”
“But you still ask me to make such a sacrifice?” Svetlana asked.
“I am not a good actor, I could not act heartbroken unless I was.”
“So I must not just refuse you but and dump you as well? I have talked of this with my parents, and I will not, Rudolph. Instead I will be true to who I am, and say yes. Claire will say yes, and when people discover she has other names, we can laugh. You've caught me totally unawares, you know?”
“Totally?”
“Well, I was just thinking it would be a perfect night to say yes, if only you'd talked to my father. Dreaming how nice it would be, if only... So, here I am all unguarded and you go and spring that question on me. What should I say? Yes, I'll marry you, Rudolph.”
“I love you, Claire, Svetlana. And you've made me a happy man,” he said, gazing into her eyes.
“I love you too, Rudolph, and you've made me a happy woman. I'm glad I don't need to take up the throne alone; that was always my biggest fear, you know? That somehow I'd end up paranoid and lonely.”
“Can we tell everyone? I feel so happy I want to shout it from the roof tops.”
“Well, I suppose there is the public address system, if you really want to tell the world,” Svetlana said.
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BASSE-MONACO, SUNDAY 9TH MARCH, 2279
“I still can't believe you suggested that yourself,” Arianne told Svetlana.
“He wasn't supposed to take it seriously! And he definitely wasn't supposed to invite any lurking reporters.”
“Well, you've certainly spread some happiness, Claire. Exclusive engagement pictures being worth what they are....”
“I'm glad he's local.”
“Me too. Did you know I went to school with him?”
“No! Really?”
“Not the same year, but yes. He used to win art prizes but rumours said he barely passed in maths.”
“He takes good pictures, anyway. In papers all over the world by the time I called home...”
“You had your contact lenses in, I presume?” Arianne asked.
“Oh yes.”
“What happened to not getting your mole photographed?”
“It wasn't, not properly. Krista was peering over his shoulder making sure.”
“Oh, right. Can I see the ring?”
“Of course you can.”
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IMPERIAL TRUTHSAYER HEADQUARTERS, ST PETERSBURG, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH, 1PM.
[Truthsayer Sofia, I am Karella of the Mer.]
[Your Majesty!]
[I am asking you to go to a certain location, and deliver a message on my behalf. I do not believe there will be any danger to you at all, or I would not ask, but it will not be in a place you would choose to go.]
[Somewhere dangerous?] Sofia thought.
[Moderately, yes, in some circumstances. An anarchist collective, but you ought to be safe, like I say. I'll be watching out for anyone actually dangerous.]
[When will you tell me the message?]
[The message is to a certain young member of the collective who's in a bit of a mental turmoil, and it is 'Don't worry, you don't need to leave.']
[I just say that and then leave?]
[They might want to talk, at which point you either talk or tell them to talk to a certain person who I'll even name if I have to.]
[Don't I get in serious trouble for talking to anarchists?] Sofia asked.
[I'll explain it all to Tsarevna Svetlana via Nadiya if necessary.]
[You think I'll live long enough to appeal to the Tsarevna, if I'm found by the Secret Service?]
[Absolutely. If you have any doubts about the legality of what you'll be doing, go to visit Nadiya first.]
[I would be more comfortable, your majesty.]
[OK. Nadiya's at home, I'll talk to her before you get there. She knows your name?]
[Yes. Thank you, your Majesty.]
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DUCHESS OF MOSCOW COURT, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH, 1.10PM
[Nadiya, I am Karella. Sorry to disturb you.]
[How may I be of assistance, your Majesty?]
This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.
[Sofia will soon visit you seeking confirmation that what I'm asking her to do is legal.]
[Oh? This sounds like it beats essay writing. What are you asking her to do?] Nadiya asked.
[Visit a certain person in a certain place and deliver a certain message, but I'm not sure exactly what you know about something that's probably a state secret, and I don't want you to get in trouble from me telling you too much.]
[Oooh, complicated. OK if I involve my cousin?]
[Which one? Svetlana would be quite handy to reassure Sofia, as long as she's not being Claire, of course.]
[I'm not sure you're supposed to know that.]
[It's not really hard to work out, dear, not when I saw Svetlana and Rudolph falling in love in Atlantis. Do congratulate the Tsarevna on her engagement for me.]
“Cousin? Got a moment or three?” Nadiya asked, “I'm running errands for Her Majesty, Karella.”
“Oh? Grab a seat,” Svetlana said, pushing her essay away from her and lounging back in her seat.
“You might want to come over to my place. The Truthsayer membership secretary is coming, wanting reassurance that she's not going to do anything illegal if she does what Karella's asked her to do. Oh, and Karella asks me to congratulate Tsarevna Svetlana on her engagement.”
“Hmmm, some people know too much. Thank her for me. What's the truthsayer being asked to do?”
“Deliver a mysterious message to a mysterious person in a mysterious place, which involves probably state secrets, and Karella says she wants to make sure I don't get into trouble.”
“Hmm. How's she going to avoid that? Tie you up?”
“Very funny.”
[Tell Svetlana that the place is Yelena's old home, and the truthsayer knows the political persuasion of the people who live there.] Karella said.
“Urm, apparently 'The place is Yelena's old home, and the truthsayer knows the political persuasion of people who live there.'”
“Oh really? Well, can she tell me why she needs to send a message there?”
[The message is to tell someone who thinks they can't stay there now they've stopped backsliding and decided to be serious about their Christian faith, that actually they need not leave,] Nadiya relayed that.
Svetlana laughed. “I am so not surprised that the truthsayer's nervous, since she doesn't know what she doesn't know.”
[Is it illegal?] Karella asked, and Nadiya relayed.
“No, it's not. The problem is that most law enforcement agents wouldn't know that,” Svetlana said, “can her majesty tell us more?”
[The fuller story is that a young man is in a bit of a crisis, because he considers some of the people there family, and has no other home (well, his parents live but he's very astranged from his parents and he'd rather sleep in a gutter than go there), but he has chosen to fully follow the Lord and reject lawlessness. The message is he need not leave, and if he listens that far then it will continue that he just needs to talk to the right people there.] Nadiya relayed that too.
[This morning, I felt God telling me that I should be willing to step into danger,] Nadiya thought to Karella. [Is there a reason that Sofia should go alone?]
[No, Nadiya, there is not. But it should include her.] Karella thought in reply.
“Would it help if I went with her?” Nadiya asked.
“To an anarchist stronghold?” Svetlana asked.
“Anarchists? Wow, that sounds, urm, exciting. But your reaction to the legality presumably means its not an anarchist stronghold.”
“Don't tell them that, Nadiya. It's a bit of an odd bunch, with a more ethical stance than many.”
“So it's known and tolerated?”
“Some members of the collective have infiltrated the Secret Service computers and assigned themselves a rank and a salary. They're pretty effective, too.”
“If you will commission me, cousin, I will go.” Nadiya said.
“Let us go one better,” Svetlana said. “I commission both of you to aid this young man come into more truth.”
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DUCHESS OF MOSCOW COURT, 2PM, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH 2279
“Your royal commission, truthsayer,” Svetlana said (dressed far more formally that she had been), and handed her a data-crystal “I don't suggest you show it to anyone at the place you're going to, but if you should get stopped by the police or secret services, it will confirm you telling them you're acting with my knowledge and authorisation, and that they probably do not have security clearance to know what you were doing there.”
“And I will accompany you,” Nadiya added.
“You will? But Countess... what about the danger?”
“I agree with Karella that it will not be so great, as long as we're polite, and keep our masks on.”
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YELENA'S OLD HOME, ST PETERSBURG. 3PM, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH 2279
“So, what do we do? Knock on the door?” Nadiya asked Sofia as they approached the destination Karella had described.
[Yelena says visitors aren't that unusual. Call on the intercom and ask for Squirt,] Karella said.
['Squirt?']
[It's what he's called there. It won't be too surprising that strangers ask for him,] Karella added, [he's developed a reputation in finding people who don't want to be found.]
“There's an intercom there,” Sofia said, pointing, as if in reply to Nadiya's question.
“We're here to talk to Squirt,” Nadiya said into the intercom.
“You'd better come in then,” a bored voice said from the metal grill. “You know where his room is?”
“No.”
“Up the stairs, then down to the bottom floor, number three zero five.”
Inside, it could have been any student dormitory, Nadiya saw. Except that there seemed to be a lot of knife-marks on doors, both artistic and apparently from target practice. Some of the marks were too large for a knife. Finding room three zero five wasn't too hard, once they'd worked out the numbering system. All the rooms on the ground floor had a zero in the middle, and it seemed like the three was a corridor number. On their way, they saw children playing, two older people fencing, and a young couple extremely interested in each other's tonsils. Nadiya had a shock as she recognised the boy from her philosophy lecture, and was glad of her mask. Outside room three zero five, someone was sprawled in the middle of the wooden-floored corridor, working on what looked like higher maths. He was a bit older than Nadiya. Nadiya heard him decide that truthsayer visitors was something new.
They knocked.
“Who's that?” came a voice from inside.
“Message for Squirt,” Sofia said.
“The money's in the post, honest! I've got witnesses!”
“What money?” Nadiya asked.
“Oh. Who's the message from, then?”
“You probably don't want everyone to hear that,” Sofia said.
“If it's the Tsar, tell him I'm busy,” the voice said.
“What if it's Her Majesty Queen Karella of Atlantis?” Nadiya asked.
“I'm busy for her too,” the voice said, “Come back when it's hot and snowing.”
[Squirt is behind you,] Karella thought to them. [There's actually no one in the room, so I guess he's got some kind of automatic response unit.]
“Karella says you're Squirt,” Nadiya told the young man, turning to see him fiddling with his wrist unit.
“Yeah yeah, you didn't hear me hoping you wouldn't guess that at all.”
“I've not heard a thing from you since you decided truthsayer visitors was something new,” Sofia said. “Seems like a nice friendly place you've got here, I can't tell you the whole message in public though.”
“Shame, that. I'm staying here in case you're trouble.”
“I can tell you part of it. Just you probably don't want me to.”
[Tell him Yelena says he still owes her a knife, but she'll let him off if he listens to you.]
While Sofia relayed that to Squirt, Nadiya asked [Are we talking about Mrs Russian Ambassador?]
[Yes,] Karella confirmed.
“What happened to Yelena then?”
“You don't know? She got arrested in Atlantis and somewhere in the middle of the trial she became a Christian, met an old suitor, and finally said yes,” Nadiya said, “all very romantic. I heard about it from someone who was at her wedding.”
“You personally heard about Yelena's wedding?”
“I heard about Mikhail's wedding,” Nadiya corrected, “and I just asked Karella if it was the same Yelena she was thinking to us about, since she's obviously talking to her.”
“You're actually in contact with the queen of the Mer? Now?” He asked,
“Oh yes. With a private message for you from her. Want more proof?”
“You're thought-hearers. There's no absolute proof possible, thoughts escape, decisions get heard.”
“The thing about the knife was supposed to be,” Nadiya pointed out, “But it's not like we're touching you.”
[Absolute proof is possible,] Karella said [If he'd only stop hiding his thoughts. But I don't think people know it there.]
“Ah. Karella says you're fibbing about the absolute proof,” Sofia said. “But we've met, haven't we? A month or so ago. You were wearing a balaclava.”
“How do I know that was you?” Squirt asked.
“Look, do we look muscular enough to wrestle you to the ground and bundle you into a waiting van or something?” Nadiya asked, impatiently “Shall I leave, so it's just my friend here? I think she was imagining scary muscle-men having knife-fights in the hall, not kids playing and students doing their maths assignments, so I offered to come along.”
“The knife-fighting muscle men are all on the top floor,” Squirt said grinning in a way that left Nadiya half-sure he wasn't joking in the least, “And it's quantum computing theory, not maths.”
“I do apologise,” Nadiya said, “if you can tell me the difference one day in words of no more than two syllables, I'd appreciate it.”
“Oh all right, you can deliver the message. But my room's a mess, I'm packing my things to get ready to redecorate. We'll go to the meeting area.”
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YELENA'S OLD HOME, ST PETERSBURG. 2.20PM, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH 2279
Squirt led them to a large room that seemed like a cross between an office and a conservatory. It had sound-absorbing materials on the walls, a noisy fountain in the middle, and numerous plants and room dividers carefully positioned that once you were in one of the alcoves you were out of sight from any other alcove.
“You don't need pack,” Sofia said gently as they sat. “That's part of the message. Sorry, actually, the message was you don't need to leave. You are not the only Christian living here.”
“But... Yelena....” Squirt said.
“Is wife to the empire's ambassador to Atlantis,” Nadiya supplied, “and needs to stay there.”
“Antonia...” Squirt said.
[Arranges pharmaceutical supplies for the Atlantis hospital, and is engaged to the Captain of the embassy guard.] Karella supplied, and Sofia passed it on.
“She's gone straight too, see?”
[Tell him he's going to get stuck if he stays hidden much longer. Yelena says 'there are no overt laws or leaders, but there are principles, and those who will not keep to the principles discover that the principles do not break as easily as skulls. Remember the first principle.']
“I heard.” Squirt said. “The first principle? I need to talk...”
“Hush!” Nadiya interrupted. “No names!”
Squirt looked at her curiously. “Most outsiders would not be unhappy to learn some names, when they visit, so they can earn themselves a reward from the Secret Services if they're asked.”
“Oh yes, I can imagine that conversation,” Sofia said, “Hi, officer, I was just visiting a member of an anarchist collective and telling him that he doesn't need to leave his friends when he mentioned... I wonder how long we'd stay free.”
His curiosity turned to horror. “You know where we are, and what we are, but you are not clients or any other category that'll keep you safe.... You wanted to do something good, but ....”
[No, they're not going to get killed,] Karella interrupted. [What's going to happen is you're going to apply the first principle, and be surprised, or maybe the fifth one.]
“Should we wait here, or somewhere else?” Nadiya asked.
“Urm, I'll apply the fifth principle first,” he said, giving her a shy smile.
“What's that?” she asked.
“If you meet someone you find attractive, it's OK to ask, but to use force is against the anarchist principle of self-determination.”
“You're asking me out?”
“It seems like a really good suggestion from her majesty from where I'm sitting.”
“Karella! What do you think you're doing?” she said, turning round and addressing the wall.
[Only you are hearing this, but his mind was full of what a lovely person you were soon after you started talking. That is why he hid. And, well, Yelena did tell me once that her friends could mix equally easily with scum and royalty. If she's wrong, you can always write her a stern reprimand.]
[What about my thoughts?]
[I think Squirt is going to surprise you, Nadiya. You could do worse; he's a good young man.]
“I can't believe this,” Nadiya declared, turning back, only to find that Squirt had vanished.
“You can always say 'no',” Sofia said.
“He hasn't even seen my face,” Nadiya protested.
“I don't imagine he'll be disappointed,” Sofia said. “Shocked at what he's done, maybe, but probably not disappointed.”
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YELENA'S OLD HOME, ST PETERSBURG. 3PM, FRIDAY 14TH MARCH 2279
“I'm back,” Squirt said, coming round the corner, “Surprised to have been wonderfully surprised. Thank you,”
“Truthsayers,” a voice Nadiya was sure she recognised said from behind the partition. “I'm afraid I don't have a mask to hide behind, so I'll stay here. Thank you for bringing your message to Squirt. I'd love to offer you the hospitality of this house, but your bodyguards are getting nervous, so perhaps you should go and reassure them before they try and check up on you.”
“That would be dangerous, I imagine,” Nadiya said.
“Unpredictable is probably a better word, depending who they talked to. Young Squirt here has something to tell you, milady.”
“Urm, my name's really Sebastian. What did her majesty say to you?”
“Perhaps I'll tell you later. No promises.”
“But there'll be a later?”
“You're a student? At the Imperial University?”
“Yes.”
“The Christian Union is a good place to meet new people,” Nadiya said.
“Most wise idea,” the familiar voice said, then added, “Squirt, escort them to the door.”
“When's the next meeting?” Squirt asked.
“Seven O'clock,” the voice said before Nadiya could answer, “Really, Squirt, you are the one supposed to be aware of the details of student life,” the voice chided.