Telling him was a mistake.

After a solid four hours of Abaris asking me stupid questions or whatever other brilliant ideas he had to test my Spellspeech, Pearl was the first of the remaining party to return to my lair.

“Woah, Izzy? Did something happen? You look different.”

Good to know she’s paying attention at least.

My paladin smiles at Pearl and says, “Nemesis made me theirs.”

Nyx cringes for some reason.

What?

(There’s no way in all the hells that Pearl isn’t going to misinterpret that.)

And of course, the healer shrilly squeals.

“I don’t know what you’re imagining,” I interrupt, “but she means she’s my paladin now. As in, not Themis’.”

“I... what?” she sputters. Looks like I derailed her train of thought.

Meanwhile Izahne just beams. At least she’s happy about all of this. Then she grabs Pearl’s hands and pulls her close to whisper things that are still definitely loud enough for me to hear, but that’s more because of True Sense than a lack of effort. I pick up tidbits about me having been a god apparently, and the healer whispers back worriedly about divine retribution and so on and so forth.

Whatever. At this point I think I’ve got at least some of master’s expectations figured out, and it’s clear he wants me to protect my brood. Izahne is unquestionably part of my brood, and I’m pretty sure that if I ate another god in her defense he’d support it.

Probably.

Anyway, I’m bored.

“If you all are about done whispering about me getting smited... smoted? Smoten? Whatever’d by some dumb god, I’m bored and hungry and kind of don’t want to be here right now, so I’m going to go kill things in the dungeon.”

“I’ll go!” Izahne shouts, unexpectedly enthusiastically. “I need to learn how to use my new Skills!”

“This is as good a time as any. You might need to use them for training practicals or uhhh... I guess you don’t have those right now, since you have to follow me around. Sorry.” I performatively scratch my head. Still not sure where I picked that up.

Pearl tilts her head. “You don’t need a healer?”

“I can heal Izahne now. She’s not... wait, hmmm. What happens if you try to heal an undead?” I ask.

Her eyes widen.

“Uh, yeah. So Pips? I’m kind of, not alive anymore, at least to Abaris’ undead detection magic,” Izahne says. She seems hesitant for some reason.

“Not at all?” Pearl asks.

“She’s like me now,” I say. “Or, more like me. I’m a True Wraith, and she’s a Nightwalker. She’s more like me than she is like you. I don’t really remember any of it, but apparently I gave her a Class and everything, and she just changed.”

My paladin speaks up next. “Don’t worry, we’re going to talk about party organization tomorrow. I don’t know if this is even a tank Class...”

“You still show as a paladin in your Identify result,” Abaris offers.

“Yes,” Izahne continues, “but there are different kinds. Some are shielders, some are swordsmen, some are both like how I used to be. This one feels... different. I’m not sure how yet, I don’t have any Class Skills yet.”

I’m starting to get more impatient, along with feeling an annoying growing ache somewhere inside me. “We’ll figure that out at the dungeon. You have innate Skills you need to figure out too, and I’m sure you’ve noticed but you have Mana Thirst too. You need to learn how to deal with that or you’ll probably lose control like I have before.”

My comment is met with horrified stares.

“What, you didn’t notice? You didn’t really overlook that, did you?” I say, with a pointed look toward my paladin. “You’re an Agent of the Queen of Hunger. Why are you surprised? Your Class doesn’t have any other drawbacks or limitations, I looked. It even took the limit off your dimensional storage. Although I think the Mana Thirst is more your race than your Class... but they kind of happened together, didn’t they? Maybe that all only works when it’s together, I don’t know.”

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“Izzy,” Abaris starts. “What is your Class?”

“Famine’s Blade,” she says without meeting his eyes.

“That’s...” Pearl mutters in response.

“I suppose that answers a question we’ve yet to ask,” the mage says quietly.

I sigh. “What’s the question you’ve yet to ask, then?”

The healer swallows heavily before answering. “It means that you’re definitely a dark god, and she’s not a paladin. She’s a death knight.”

Izahne noticeably blanches, which is something considering how much lighter her skin got when her race changed.

“You know,” I say with a flat look, “I’d have thought that my previous incarnation’s wiping out a plane and eating an established god probably would have already made that clear, but it’s not like my goal in this life is to destroy everything. As far as I can tell, every god can be bargained with to some extent, and you’re right here standing in front of me. Besides, I’m pretty sure master’s bond is still working...” I give it a poke just to be sure, and feel overwhelming pressure wash back through it. “Yup, still there.”

It doesn’t look like it comforted them any. Oh well.

“Anyway, dungeon, hungry, kill, teach my wife death knight stuff, you know how it is. Bye!”

I snatch Izahne with a handful of feelers and make my escape.

***

We aren’t in the dungeon more than five minutes before I feel the familiar sensation of a dagger in my back.

I sigh and dematerialize, letting the metal implement clatter to the ground. I don’t seen anyone around behind me, let alone in stabbing range.

“What just happened!?” my pal– uh, death knight asks with worry in her voice.

I kick the dagger. “Nothing I can’t handle.” I activate Will Detection and promptly pick up on three individuals – one behind us and two in front. “Was that really the best you have?” I loudly say.

Ah, there’s another dagger from the other direction. I can feel that this one, like the first, is coated in some kind of poison.

(You’re undead. Most undead are immune to poison, you don’t even have blood to circulate it,) Nyx comments.

Which, makes sense. Anyway, back to the task at hand.

“Izahne. There is one behind us, I will leave them to you. Practice your Skills. Be sure to finish them with Drain, so that you can sate your Mana Thirst.”

She nods and dashes around the bend behind us, immediately resulting in a startled yelp from her quarry.

I can tell that the headmaster isn’t going to be happy about what I’m about to do, so I press our bond with a questioning sensation. To my surprise, the response registers equivalent to a shrug.

Huh.

I’m going to fucking dust them all.

I take two steps toward my future victims before I have a better idea and use Planar Detachment. I slip between the cracks in the plane and drift along them to where I see two humans in dark robes over academy uniforms arguing quietly about whether they should run.

It’s too late for that, I project into their minds, and they both freeze.

And then I unleash my Aura of the Unwound.

I... wait, did that always drain vitality? It’s definitely draining their vitality. Slowly, but still?

(Domain effect, probably,) my Assistant comments.

Huh.

I should thank you both. I need more practice with my Class Skills, and so does my death knight. She should be handling your friend back that way right now, so don’t worry. I’m all you have to contend with. I grin.

And they both soil themselves.

(You’re still detached from the plane.)

Oh.

I reattach to it but decide to do so dematerialized. It’s been some time since I’ve properly terrified an enemy, so I intend to get some mileage out of this.

Using Will Surge, I envision squeezing one of them slowly. The look of terror on their face sharpens even more and their eyes bulge.

“Fascinating. I wasn’t aware that inflicting damage to the will had physical side effects. How about this then?”

I envision slugging them in the chest with a boulder of will, and their body caves in, sending a spray of blood across the cave wall as they collapse face first on the ground.

[Human (Apprentice Thief Level 16) Slain – 1600 Experience has been awarded!]

[User has earned enough Experience for a Level Increase!]

[Begin Level Increase Process? Y/N]

Finally! Also, hells no!

“Oops. Waste of a meal there, you humans are so delicate,” I say as I turn to smirk at the other one. Meanwhile, I probe the wreckage of the first with Consume for any remaining dregs of life and find nothing. Oh well. I still amplify the Skill and reduce the corpse to dust as promised and draw it into myself, swirling it theatrically for the benefit of my captive audience.

I chuckle darkly as I drift toward their face and reform my physical body. “Don’t worry, they’ll reincarnate. They died before I could eat their soul, you see.” I lean in closer and whisper in their ear. “Now, what to do with you? I do recognize you, after all.”

(You do?) Nyx asks.

Yeah. This is that human I forced into a Blood Pact.

She gives me a look of shock. (I can’t believe it though. You, recognizing a ‘human’!?)

Oh shut up! I’m busy being scary here!

“Ah!” I say with a clap. “I know just the thing.” I begin pacing in front of him. “You see, I’m sure you’re not the only one in the academy who wants to hunt me. Say, for experience, or maybe just to say they ‘did a good deed’ by eliminating an abomination?”

I dematerialize my left arm into ash, and create wraiths from it before his eyes. “Maybe I should feed you to my children, although that feels boring somehow. How about you,” I say, turning my attention to my spawn. “Do you want to eat them? They don’t look particularly appetizing, I suppose a meal is a meal.”

[Human (Apprentice Swordsman Level 19) Slain – 1900 Experience has been awarded!]

What?

(Did you forget that your Aura was draining him?) Nyx jabs.

Oh. Well that’s annoying, I killed him entirely with innate Skills... I just wasted that experience, didn’t I?

(Yep.)

I sigh, turn the dead idiot’s body to dust, and then throw the gear they and their idiot friend were carrying in my dimensional storage. Well, except for their soiled clothes, the dungeon can reabsorb those.

When I turn to look for Izahne, I find her already walking in my direction.

With a limp and holding her side.

“They gave you difficulty?” I ask.

She winces before answering. “Higher level, I think.”

I disperse some of my ash and use it to fill her wounds, causing her to visibly relax.

I look her in the eyes. “They are alive?”

She nods. “She was too fast, I couldn’t keep up after she hobbled me.”

Oh good. I’m sure this isn’t going to bite me in the ass later.