“Oh. Oh gods.”

I quietly sip my tea – or rather, Eris’ tea. She has good taste, but I’ll admit that whoever is brewing it for her isn’t as good as Livvie… not remotely. But it’s still good.

Mortal brewed probably.

Anyway, I didn’t know who to talk to, or. Well.

I guess I could talk to Sekhmet, she actually has a son so I’d assume she’s raised a mortal child before… but I think she was something sort of humanlike before? What was it called again?

(Naga. Not even close to human.)

Ah, right. Snake thing, got it.

Ignoring my former Assistant’s sigh I return my attention to my host, who is apparently ruminating about… something. I’m not really sure what. I don’t get what the issue is.

“I don’t get what the issue is.”

(Of course you don’t.)

Must you?

(If I don’t, who will? Hm?)

“Don’t misunderstand me,” Eris finally says while I resist a sigh, “children are… well, most mortals think they’re ‘wonderful’ or ‘a blessing’ and I would tend to agree, although… are you sure you should be raising them?”

…

“Or having them at all?” she adds under her breath.”

I smile back. “This is why I’m asking for advice. I have no idea what I’m doing here, even though I guess Izzy and Livvie and the others would probably do a lot of the raising? See, I’m not really sure. I don’t know what it means for them to grow up to be ‘upstanding’ humans or whatever. I don’t even know what they’re going to be born as. And Livvie’s a fae, so there’s even more in question-”

“Fae? You say she’s fae?” my host interrupts.

“Yes, fae. That’s what she told me anyway.”

“Hmm…”

“What? What is it?”

“Well,” she finally muses, “most of us thought she was a yokai, not fae.”

…

“What does that mean? Really, what does that even mean? What’s the difference?”

Eris rests her head on one hand, her elbow supported by the intricately carved table. “Not a whole lot, actually. They’re the same, well, race? Species? I suppose it depends on whether the Record considers them monsters, but I digress. It’s more a social classification, as I understand it. The fae typically live in communities of their peers, where yokai are solitary and more dedicated to their own goals and interests. And considering how Artemis has always isolated herself to her own subdomain I’m sure you can understand why it’s been easy to come to that conclusion.”

“Hmmm. I see.”

…

We sip our tea in silence for a moment before the goddess of strife breaks it.

“Then why, exactly, has she isolated herself for so long?”

A thought hits me… I wonder if I should even be talking about this? Izzy sometimes gets mad about weird things… should I be sharing this? Something in my past memories is hinting that bad things could happen… but it’s hazy…

Oh well. I’m sure whatever it is, I can handle it or fix it or just Consume the issue altogether. It’ll be fine.

“Have you ever actually spoken to her?”

Eris thoughtfully rubs her chin. “No, not really I suppose. Maybe in passing at the galas at which you chose her as a guest… but she always seemed extremely short as though she wasn’t actually interested in conversing. Maybe she was uncomfortable with the company? Or possibly the venue? I can’t imagine I’d be particularly comfortable at a light pantheon gathering, surrounded by my enemies, whether social or physical.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.

“And that’s why you don’t know,” I say, punctuating my statement with a sip of my own tea, finishing my cup.

…Which then miraculously refills with no input from her personal staff. Strange.

Meanwhile, Eris just stares at me as if to say, ‘please continue’.

So I do.

“Different fae have different quirks, characteristics, and limitations, right?”

“Yes, of course. It’s common knowledge. What I don’t understand is how-”

“I’m getting there,” I interrupt. “If you’d talked to her at length you’d understand. She doesn’t have a single language Skill, not one.”

“You’re kidding.”

“Nope! All her comprehension, her own speech, all of it… it’s the product of her own work. She’s pretty clever too, I’m not sure most mortals would understand anything at all without the Record shoving information in their heads.”

“That’s… not entirely fair, but that aside. You don’t consider that strange? And I find it even stranger that you haven’t thought to just give her some with that obscene power of yours.”

I shrug. “I asked her once and she said no. Something about it interfering with something else she has? I’m not sure. It doesn’t really bother me though. We can communicate well enough in our own way.”

As if to prove a point, I project some of the old feelings I remember – the deep desire to feel love for my fox wife – through our link. And she projects her own back, a much more authentic version.

She truly loves me. I know I’m supposed to feel good about it? But I don’t really feel much of anything.

But I still want to. I’m not sure if I ever will.

“I see.”

We chatter for a while longer, mostly small talk, before it becomes clear to me that my old friend doesn’t actually have much advice to give concerning children considering she has none of her own, nor has she ever even attempted it.

I guess I know where I’m going next.

***

“Oh, whoops. Sorry about that.”

The expressions facing me vary from shock to fear to exasperation, not a big surprise I guess considering how Tathra and Nerin have reacted to my unannounced appearances in their offices, typically resulting in stacks of papers vanishing into the sucking void inevitably behind me.

And Sekhmet’s boardroom is no different.

“What… is it this time?” the blood goddess asks, irritatedly flicking the tip of her tail under the table. It would seem this meeting is actually with her trusted aides rather than with a potential client or whatever considering she hasn’t bothered assuming her humanlike form. The humans usually prefer dealing with people who look like them, as my past self has learned on numerous occasions.

“You’re the right person to ask, I’m sure of it! At least in one part. Sahura is actually yours, right? Like, yours yours?”

“Um. Yes. You’re… you’re not here to take him away again, are you?” she asks, poorly-concealed fear coloring her face.

I laugh. “No, no, nothing like that. It’s just that I have a child now-”

I notice some of the humans subtly make some kinds of religious signs with their hands, which I benevolently choose to ignore.

“-And another on the way, and my other wife wants a child as well, or. A ‘kit’ as she put it? I’m not sure if we could actually have fox children, but, well.”

“Record preserve us,” I catch Sekhmet whisper under her breath before continuing, “And what exactly did you want to ask me?”

I excitedly leave the ground to stop six inches in front of her face.

“TELL. ME. EVERYTHING.”

***

So that was a complete waste of time. The best advice she even had was just, “trust your gut” and “don’t do anything your parents wouldn’t have done”, which are apparently exactly what she did.

Useless. For one, I don’t have parents… not like that anyway. Not human ones. And I’m pretty sure that moving my spawn around like pieces on a gameboard isn’t going to fly with Izzy, so playing administrator is out.

And my gut? It’s telling me to Consume my progeny and kiss my wife. Apparently the effects from the Mantle of Devotion only extend to the relationship I have with the holder.

Well, whatever. I’m sure we’ll figure something out.

Probably.

“Probably isn’t good enough, you know.”

“I know, Izzy,” I say with a small sigh. “I know. I’m going to have to depend on you. My other options are…”

A subtle glance at Livvie rolling around on the ground with Hope is all it takes to communicate my thoughts. It might be fine being raised by proverbial wolves – or fox – but I’m fairly certain that a more humanlike mortal child wouldn’t survive that kind of upbringing.

My fox wife meanwhile is completely aware of my thoughts on the matter, though the closest she offers to a response is indifference. Yeah, she knows it’d be a bad idea. Fortunately she has Hope…

And, uh.

“So, um. Izzy? Livvie, she wants…”

With a small smile my second first wife quietly says, “She wants the same thing, right? I’m not surprised. She’s been following you around in at least some sense for over a millennia. It makes sense that she’d want what we have now, she’s looked jealous for some time now.”

I won’t deny it. I’ve certainly felt her pangs of it at times, although Livvie has been working hard to conceal it. Which hasn’t worked.

…

Huh.

Maybe I’ve been deliberating about this a bit too much. Or overthinking it?

Glancing at Izzy’s Status again, it occurs to me that ‘Pregnant’ is just a Status effect…

…Which gives me an idea.

“Hey, Livvie? I’m going to try something.”

The furry-eared goddess pauses in her roughhousing to tilt her head at me, resulting in the tiny horror crashing into her chest to be wrapped up in a hug.

No more words need to be said… other than the words of creation.

“{inflict Pregnant (Nemesis)}.”