Build this, he said.

Build what?

Well, I don’t really know. It’s some kind of grandiose building with a lot of rooms and a few really big meeting rooms? With tall ceilings.

I guess it’s not all that complicated really, but he did give me a bunch of plans and schematics and whatnot for it… originally I was going to just speak it into existence but my old master insisted I had to have my people do it.

My mortals, not my retainers.

I sigh. This is going to take forever. But Izzy suggested it could be because it would demonstrate my ability to lead and organize.

So, more tests. Big surprise.

It’s not like I’ve been attending, I haven’t even been to the Endless Plain – his personal plane – in literally hundreds of years.

But I suppose some of my trials and tribulations he would consider tests. Because of course he would.

Livvie has been contributing by supplying her would-be devout cult, if she ever bothered to lead them, to serve as laborers. And considering their typical bulk from their muscle-headed ‘warrior lifestyle’, they’re already serving their purpose readily.

As for the actual civil work… my ageless nightwalkers have built up what should be many lifetime’s skills and Skills, so as planners, architects, and so forth, they’ve also been useful. They’ve even made short work of materials procurement, sourcing directly from the plane itself without need to import from elsewhere.

And then come the gorgons. For their parts, they’ve spent their own lives learning to control their innate Skills of petrification, and now I have them throwing it to the wind in order to produce statues and decorations for the facility. It’s… mostly plants, because both of my wives strongly objected to petrifying the wildlife…

Let alone the mortals and so forth. Oof, that was almost another argument, even though it still ended with Izzy’s aggressive affection like most of our almost-arguments wind up.

So of course, I resorted to more mercenary methods; namely, hiring artists from both my own people and visiting adventurers.

Fascinatingly enough, the influx of post-death sentient monsters we’ve had through the plane has been almost entirely peaceful. Some are even useful! The main reason I haven’t added them to the ranks of my administration is that I’d run the risk of becoming overly reliant on them, and then they’d just fade away or disappear when it was finally time for them to reincarnate.

I suppose there’s not much point in them honing their abilities or anything either, considering once they do reincarnate, they’re going to lose all that progress anyway. Well, unless an Akashic Self stores a bit more undocumented data than I’d thought.

It probably does. Probably.

What about the day to day of everything else while I’m occupied with this whatever-it-is? Simple! I just left it all in Vivi’s capable hands and claws. She seemed more than happy just continuing with her daily routine anyway, even stopping here to deliver her reports as well since I’ve mostly just. Been here.

Ah, a troop of goblins dropped another beam…

…

“Why do we even have them moving heavy materials? Look, it’s all chewed up now.”

“Because otherwise they’d be trying to ‘be helpful’ in other parts of the process,” Tathra explains. “For some reason they have an excessive desire to serve your whims.”

I nod, slowly coming to the realization that this is happening because Rose probably ordered them to, or even set their motivations accordingly.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

“Can’t we have them, I don’t know, pull weeds or something?”

Tathra slowly shakes his head. “Unfortunately, they’re not intelligent enough to tell a weed from a flower, although they do seem to innately know if a plant is safe to eat.”

“That doesn’t help the situation at all, you know.”

“I do.”

…

“Wonderful.”

…

…

“Wait, I have an idea.”

(Oh no.)

Well, wait until you see the results before you assume the worst!

(I’ve tried that before, it always ends in some kind of tragedy or atrocity!)

To be fair, this probably will too, but probably not much. And the goblins aren’t exactly sentient anyway, so it’s fine!

(What would Izzy say?)

Probably not to do this…

(And what does that mean for you?)

I should… probably not do this.

(Good. Even big cloudy assholes can learn apparently. Now get back to work, you big idiot, this thing isn’t going to build itself!)

***

“You always did have decent taste in leaves, didn’t you?”

I sigh into my cup. It’s still not a good as Livvie’s brew, but then… what ever could be? That’s fine though, I’m not here for tea, I’m here for the company.

“Uh huh. Why exactly are you here again? Unannounced, again, I might add.”

“Oh don’t be like that, Eris. We’re old friends, right?” I reply with a dismissive wave of my hand. “I’m here to visit. Hope was bored too, isn’t that right sweetie?”

“Yes, Mother.”

I give the hunched creature, now larger than the table and chair set itself, an affectionate glance – at least I’m pretty sure it looks affectionate.

The goddess of strife’s gaze is far less hospitable, possibly because even after all these years, my artificial child is once again eyeing the drapes.

“Don’t,” is all I say.

“I won’t, Mother,” it rumbles back.

“Good. Thank you.”

I suppose I shouldn’t underestimate the power of praising one’s offspring, especially considering the pure pleasure and satisfaction I can feel bubbling forth from my bond with the greater horror. And I can’t help but mirror it, at least a little bit.

Turning my attention back to our host I ask, “So how about you? Any new troubles? Friends? Lovers or children?”

Eris blushes sharply before attempting and failing to hide her embarrassment at my line of questioning behind another sip of tea.

I chuckle. “Is that a yes?”

“M-maybe,” she finally answers.

“I see! Well, don’t keep me waiting, tell me more!”

…

…

“No? Don’t want to talk about it?”

“Would you try to eat them if I told you?” she finally asks quietly, and even more quietly, “…Or me?”

My brow practically furrows on its own. “Why would I do any of that? We’re friends, it’s not like I’m going to just kill you over who or what you’re in a relationship with. Hells, I’m married to the mistress of the wild hunt! If anything, I’d think the pantheons in general would be trying to destroy me. Ah, and before you say it, they’re probably already plotting to one way or another, or just keeping me distracted by inundating me with more idiot heroes like Dipshit.”

“That’s… well, none of that is untrue. Also, ‘idiot heroes’?”

I grin. “Yeah, centuries ago one of our peers – I’m not sure who – sicced this pompous hero on me and my plane. He was convinced he was in one of those ‘video games’ the mortals like so much, and that he needed to kill me and usurp my powers somehow… so that he could defeat me with them, or something like that I think? I don’t really know. Anyway, the name whatever god gave him… uh, Flute… something? It was really stupid, the dumbest name I’ve ever heard, so I changed it.”

“You changed his name? You mean you just gave him a nickname, right?”

“Nah, I use the words of creation for that, just changed it in his Akashic Self.”

Eris is silent for a moment before asking, “Am I correct in assuming you changed his true name, then?”

“Yep!”

“You couldn’t have just killed him?”

“I’ve tried,” I shrug. “He just keeps coming back. I’m not sure if his benefactor is resurrecting him or literally making more of him – probably the former considering his body disappears. Oh, but right now he’s in love with one of my monsters, so every time he makes it through the castle obstacle course without dying she just finishes him off. The fool still doesn’t realize she’s been eating him for centuries!”

Eris nods in recognition. “Ah yes. I do believe you mentioned the man before… the monster in question resembled a young girl, correct?”

“Correct.”

She grimaces slightly at my confirmation.

“Don’t think I didn’t notice, though,” I redirect.

“What is it you noticed?” my companion asks.

“That we changed the subject. You seemed concerned that I was going to target you or your new… wife? Husband? Lover? Whatever they are. And you didn’t explain why.”

“Because you… well. You are not exactly on friendly terms…”

“You do realize that doesn’t narrow anything down at all, right?”

…

My old friend takes a long slow breath, before taking on a resolved look. “Do not be upset with me. Promise it.”

“I don’t entirely understand, but fine. I promise I won’t be upset. Now tell me!”

Ah, her nervousness is back…

I rest my head on my hand absentmindedly and give her an expectant side-eye.

And then she finally says, “I’m in a relationship with your sort-of sister. I’m dating Erebus.”

…

“Oh.”