“Wait, what? You want what now?”

“I’m fairly certain you heard me the first time, but I’ll humor you. I would like you to offer me a Class, if you are amenable to it.”

I… really didn’t expect Markus to take Pearl’s advice so quickly, let alone at all. I was pretty sure I was going to have to tease him along into it like pulling threads one at a time, but here we are.

…

“Are you sure?” I ask with an innocent head tilt that is definitely genuine. “A lot of strange things happen to people who take System stuff I offer them, sometimes they even turn into monsters – well actually, they usually do, don’t they, hmmm.”

“Especially when you force it on people,” Pearl cynically snaps. She’s sitting atop one of the fenceposts in the training ground where we currently stand.

I nod sagely. “Yes, that’s true, but I’m trying not to do that now, and I’ve already got a support system in place so it doesn’t keep happening.”

“What do you mean, ‘keeps happening’?”

Oho, I can see the skepticism on the mage’s face. I guess I better be careful here or he’ll wiggle off the hook.

“Well… I’m an amalgamation of… wait, what did Abaris call me? A ‘chimera’? I’m a mix of at least two different people, or monsters, or I guess beings of some kind, and none of them have a shred of humanity between them. I don’t really get all those social rules that humans have to follow, or why, other than that people get really mad when I break them. Yes, Pearl, you don’t have to say it, I was about to.”

The sludge mage sighs and instead swallows the hostile commentary she was sure to unleash, and I take that opportunity to continue.

“So in the past, I’ve forced my will on others. Divine will, sure, so it’s not like I’m that much different from other gods, and I’m not sure why they don’t get the same amount of trouble for doing it, but that’s neither here nor there. I really, really hurt people, including people important to people who are important to me, like Pearl here. She used to be human, and now she’s, well, very not human.”

“We need to talk about that later!” Izzy exclaims without breaking her rhythm of thrusts and dodges as she spars with Eleonor.

“Sure, that’s fine. Anyway,” I say while turning back to the hero’s friend, “I’ve done a lot of bad stuff to people around free will, so now if I’m about to commit another atrocity, I have to ask Izzy if it’s a monstrous thing or okay. Also I asked Nyx–”

“Asked nothing, asshole. There’s no way I had a choice there.”

I side-eye my freshly materialized former Assistant. “Hey, alright, I’m not going to deny it, ‘mom’.”

And that gets her sputtering, along with another confused glance from Markus.

“Long story. Anyway, I’m making slow progress learning to be less monstrous, or at least learning the rules. But slow isn’t fast enough when I’m already a god, so people around me who matter can tell me not to do things.”

I look over my shoulder toward my wife, her flashy footwork churning up the dust of the dueling pit. “Speaking of, is this a monstrous thing?”

“Take five,” she says to her sparring partner, who practically collapses in a heap then and there.

Nyx snorts. “Yeah, it’s probably monstrous, but you’re probably going to do it anyway.”

“Hey, I promised,” I say. “If my wife says it’s monstrous, then I don’t do it. That was the agreement.”

“Yes, it was,” Izzy says with a nod. “And I’m glad you’re actually following it. Anyway, I have to ask a few questions before I can answer… first of all, are you planning to do anything to his free will?”

I don’t miss her subtle glance toward Pearl. “Nope. If he wants a Class he can have one, I don’t really care. Besides, the idea was for him and the hero to stage fights with me, right? He can’t really do that if he’s a puppet. Besides, that’d be so boring!”

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

She rubs her chin in thought for a moment. “And you aren’t going to, I don’t know, give him a new directive or something?”

“Nah. He already knows what he wants to do, right?”

The bookish mage nods. “Yes, I intend to continue gathering knowledge, as much as my lifespan will allow.”

I gesture toward him. “See? Perfect. Nobody needs to change that, if it’s good enough for Abaris, or hells, Mimir, it’s good enough for him.”

And then she turns toward Eleonor. “Are you alright with this? It might change him, possibly in… extreme ways. I… well. This is awkward. But when Nemesis changed me, and saved me… uh, I’m sterile now. Undead. Are you…?”

The hero laughs. “Nope, hehe! We’re just friends. Besides, I’m pretty sure we’re not even ummm what’s the word? ‘Compatible’?”

“Most certainly not,” Markus comments.

Eleonor grins. “There, see? Doesn’t matter. If he wants a different Class that might turn him into a monster, like he really really wants it, I’m not going to stop him. We’ll still be friends and adventuring buddies, it’s not like that’s going to change.”

“…I see.”

Izzy continues to look perplexed, but at least she’s not… oh, what’s the word? I guess it doesn’t matter.

“Alright, then. If it’s really what he wants, and he understands the risks, then I guess it’s fine.”

“Really?” I’m admittedly a little bit surprised.

She sighs back. “Yes, really. Just, don’t mess him up, alright?”

“And don’t say we didn’t warn you,” Pearl interjects.

“I’ll do my best! Now I just have to figure out how to – oh, I think I already did. Do you see a System message about anything?”

I probably didn’t need to ask, from the engrossed look on the mage’s face.

Then he starts changing.

And by changing, I mean he explodes into a cloud of amorphous light.

“Huh. I guess that answers that question.”

…

“Is anything else going to happen? Did you just fuck him up? You did, didn’t you?”

The others stand dumbfounded around me, aside from the sludge mage’s hostile quip I’ve chosen to ignore.

“I… really don’t know. Although… hang on.”

Something about this situation feels eerily familiar.

And then I glance at Omorth. Of course!

I grab one of the many books scattered on the ground from where they fell shortly after Markus’ metamorphosis.

“Behold, your new body. Use it well.” And I toss it into the churning mass of lights, which promptly form a wave of lighting ripping into the rapidly turning pages, the printed words visibly distorting into some unintelligible language written in blood red ink.

Or probably just blood, I guess. Either way.

When the process finishes and the light show dims, there stands – or floats – Markus in his new form.

He’s a book.

A possessed book.

…And I have a bond to him as well, for some reason.

“Do you still feel like yourself? I mean, your will is fine?” Izzy asks with concern in her voice.

The book spins to face her, flipping open to a page where the words distort to form a face. “It is certainly very different, for obvious reasons… but to your question, I do believe I remain myself, at least in mind.”

My wife breathes a sigh of relief, and to my surprise so does Pearl. Eleonor… doesn’t look surprised or relieved at all for some reason. Is she really that trusting?

Well, since I’ve got access to his Status through that shiny new bond, I guess I may as well look at it…

[Status]

[Name: Markus Gremwold]

[Race: Tome of Stars and Shadows]

[SYSTEM: TYPE C – Level 373 – XP 47500/374000]

[Inherent Skills:]

[False Body 0]

[Mind Blank 0]

[Multicast 0]

[Class: Words of Dusk – Level 0 – XP 0/1000]

[Class Skills:]

[Enchant Item 0]

[Infernal Magic]

[General Skills:]

[Dimensional Storage 26]

[Identify 43]

[Language]

[Interplanar Common]

[Shadowborne]

[Traits:]

[Blessed of Envy]

[Blessed of Hunger]

[Blessed of Night]

[Mana Thirst]

[Titles:]

[Adherent of Nemesis]

[Fresh Start]

“Oh hey, you’re pretty strong now! I’d say it worked!” I nod in satisfaction. “What do you think?”

Izzy raises a hand to get my attention. “Alright, so. What exactly happened? You didn’t Appraise him, you would have had to say the words. Don’t tell me. You…”

“Yeah,” I answer, “I have a bond with him like the rest of you, apparently. Before you ask, no, I didn’t try to make that happen. It just, well, did.”

Just as it’s looking like I’m about to be embroiled in another confusing fight with my wife, Eleonor leaps through the air directly into Markus, snatching the animated book out of the air and rolling on the ground before leaping back up to spin him in a circle. “Look at you! I bet this is what you always wanted, right? You always drag all those books around with you, and now you are one! Ahaha, this is great!”

“Aaaagh, put me down put me down!” her partymate fruitlessly protests, while I just glance back at Izzy with a shrug.

“I’m never going to force him to do anything, alright? I already said I wouldn’t, and I’m not going to. Well, unless-”

“Unless what?” she interrupts with a heavy brow furrow.

I wave my hands defensively. “Unless he attacks you or something! Nobody’s allowed to hurt you.”

And although the look on her face is still as hard as a boulder, she can’t hide the sudden burst of positive emotions radiating from our bond.