So, I’m in some fancypants office, facing down some short old weirdo with a fluffy white beard.

A lot of things happened after we left my lair… first the party insisted we needed to go clothes shopping, even though we all had perfectly functional clothes – they only had a few bloodstains or tears! Hardly anything needing replacing. Izahne (who insists I call her Izzy – I have since refused to call her Izzy) also insisted on choosing a handful of outfits for me, even though my robes have self-repair enchantments still working on them. She seemed particularly disappointed that I didn’t need help changing into anything, not even needing the changing booths provided since I can simply put them in my dimensional storage, partially dematerialize, and cancel both at the same time to already be wearing it. Well, whatever, it cost me nothing – she seriously paid for everything so all I’m short now is time, and I’m pretty sure I’m immortal.

After that they had to eat again. Mercifully, I don’t seem to need to feed, so it was just more waiting. They did try to get me to eat a few things but after I threatened to phase through a wall and leave them behind they decided to leave well enough alone.

Then they insisted they had somewhere to take me, and I insisted I wear my robes in case wherever that is turns out to be ‘exciting’, since the clothes Izahne bought aren’t enchanted in any meaningful way to Nyx’s eyes. After another portal station hop and some walking since they apparently don’t have any travel magic, we arrived at the current predicament.

Anyway, the short beardo has been giving me a hard stare complete with furrowed brow while rubbing their beard for some time now. I’m starting to get impatient.

“So anyway, I’m Nemesis, and this is my wife apparently. The others are her party, also they’re all students here.”

The paladin beams so brightly at my comment that I’m practically projecting a shadow on the far wall from it. The others seem partially in shock from my comments, but it’s nothing new to me at this point.

“Also I’m a monster. And I have no idea why I’m here, because nobody’s told me. They just dragged me along and the receptionist took one look and guided us all here. I’m hoping you know what’s going on.”

“Well,” beardy says, “my precious students just so happened to not only bumble into a unique, sentient monster, but also managed to engage in marriage vows with it… or would you prefer he or she?”

“I would prefer a useful answer. Or something to eat with a lot of vitality,” I answer.

They continue scraping their fingers through their white face fluff while I begin tuning them out. “I see. Pardon me for asking, most monsters are still affected by some form of sexual reproblah blah blah, blah blah.”

“I see.”

(You should probably be paying attention, you know,) my Assistant points out.

Sure, but you’re paying attention, right? Or this is stuff you already know? I can just ask you later if it matters.

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(By the gods you’re lazy.)

“Of course there’s also –“

“Okay, sure,” I interrupt while the party visibly cringes, “so, that’s very informative but let’s hurry along to the point, yes? This room says you’re important, probably more important than something like me.”

“Ah, very well then. A handful of hours ago, I was shocked to see a surprise request for spousal admission from a current student, listing unique monster status, as well as not only a powerful Class from an unknown god but also a Vessel,” they say without missing a beat.

“Alright. Interesting. What does that have to do with me?”

Ooh, whole party facepalm.

Beardo is first to respond. “It has plenty to do with you, because those who requested the admission are your current party, and the one it was requested for is none other than you, reborn one. My name is Vumari, and I have been the headmaster of this institution for the past two-hundred and seventy-three years. Which of course means, it is ultimately my decision whether to admit you.”

“Great, I’ll make it easy then! I’m not interested.”

They raise one eyebrow. “Would you rather be destroyed this minute?”

“No, I’m good,” I quickly answer.

“Good. Questions and concerns, then?”

I’m noticing that the others are curiously silent. Maybe this beardo weirdo is some kind of important person? I mean, I kind of knew that.

(Idiot,) Nyx unnecessarily inserts.

“What’s to stop stronger students from labeling me as a monster and destroying me themselves? Also I don’t get along with people. I don’t want to be around them.”

“Simple. I announce your attendance to the academy and give you a protected status. As a result, no one will have the ability to force you into a training duel – at least without your consent. Also, I’ll assign you smaller classes or individual training with qualified instructors.”

I nod. “Not bad. What happens if I get attacked and I eat the attacker in self defense?”

They purse their lips. “What do you mean ‘eat’?”

“Did they tell you much about me? I’m guessing not,” I say before releasing my transformation and dissipating into a cloud of dust and ash. “I was born as a manaphage – a wraith. While I’ve evolved since then, some characteristics were carried over – like my near-constant hunger for vitality. Since my evolution and acquiring a Class though, it also evolved into one that requires me to actually kill my target, not just drain them. If I’m attacked I may not be able to control my hunger. Oh, it would also be nice if the academy could provide powerful monsters for me to drain?”

“That… is not a small thing. Very well. I can offer my protection if you are attacked on campus and inadvertently slay your attacker or attackers, it should be as simple as saying that’s just how powerful your Class is. As far as victims for you to drain though, I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to seek your fill on dungeoneering assignments or guild quests,” they answer.

Thought I had them, oh well. Could have been easy street, but I… honestly don’t know if I’ve had worse. If I have I don’t remember it.

Anyway. I casually restore my transformation.

“I will assume that these terms are acceptable?” they say.

I nod.

“Then on behalf of and as the headmaster of the New Iden Charter Hero Academy, I hereby welcome you to your educational future. Grow, learn, and work hard, so that your presence in the planes may avert crisis in the times to come.” They offer a small bow.

“Uh, sure. Thanks,” I say, and then begin to get up to leave.

But before I’ve completely left my seat, they continue.

“By the way, Nemesis…”

The headmaster vanishes in a flash of light, leaving a small pile of clothing on their desk loosely surrounding a small white rabbit with red eyes and short red transparent horn on their forehead.

“Being a monster with a transformation Skill is not necessarily an unusual thing here. Do your best to adapt and make no assumptions,” their now much more tinny voice echoes in the small room.

I see.