After I finally satisfy my hunger and we begin to leave the dungeon, Izahne, Eleonor, and the book carrier exchange contact information – at the scout’s goading. What does this mean for me considering I don’t have one of their fancy runic tablet communication gadgets? Not much, although I’m at least now aware that the book carrier’s name is Markus.

“How fast can you run?” I ask the two newcomers. They share a glance before answering.

Eleonor grins and says, “Like the wind! Him not so much though.”

“Alright. Will you trust me then?”

“No.” His response is immediate.

I shrug. “Suit yourself.”

I seriously consider simply leaving the two of them to find their way out on their own before a sharp pang of disagreement stabs me through the headmaster’s bond.

I sigh. Guess that’s not an option.

(Not surprised, tbh,) Nyx says.

I hesitantly turn back to Markus and Eleonor. “The reason why I asked is because if you’ll let me carry you, I can get us back to the entrance in a few minutes, probably. I haven’t tested how fast I can move with more than just my wife recently.”

Izahne unsurprisingly blushes again and gives my hand a squeeze. At least she’s predictable, if I say almost anything about her to other people she gets happy for some reason.

The… mage? Probably?

(Probably.)

“Are you a mage?” I ask Markus directly.

“In a sense, yes,” he replies.

That settles that. Nyx sighs again.

“Anyway, this is what it looks like,” I say as I release my physical form, manifesting a number of feelers and using them to scoop my paladin up by the waist and under her arms. Now that I know I can use them again, I never have to worry about backlash from absentmindedly manifesting naked body parts again!

(Ah yes, the most important concerns, got it.)

Oh hush.

Then I swirl some ash in front of her and form a windscreen again. “If I do this, I can carry people and move at my normal speed. Having a body is alright, but sometimes it’s inconvenient.”

“Oooh,” the scout squeals, “that looks kind of fun!”

Markus sighs and asks, “What is our guarantee we won’t be hurt, unintentionally or otherwise?”

“The headmaster has me in some kind of spirit pact. I couldn’t even choose to leave you here and get back faster myself, he wouldn’t let me. Is that enough?”

He thinks for a moment, and then finally relents. Finally!

I scoop up Eleonor similar to how I’m currently carrying Izahne, and then manifest more feelers in front of Markus. I allow him a moment to familiarize himself with them before I scoop him up as well, and take off full speed for the exit. The journey is peaceful… other than how the scout seems to think this is a wonderful opportunity to excitedly scream.

(She’s going to get along with Pearl, you realize,) my Assistant says with a crooked grin.

What do you mean they’ll get along? They haven’t even met, and they’re not in our party.

(How small do you think the party standard is these days?)

Eh, no idea. Not really important, is it?

The story has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.

(It could be. You can fit two more, no question.)

I don’t even know if they’re useful. They haven’t done a thing here other than watch.

She drifts in front of my face and smiles. (That’s why you ask!)

Sure, fine. Anyway, you’re blocking my-WOAH!

I narrowly dodge a stone column.

Eleonor continues squealing. Izahne is completely fine as usual, but hmm, is it just me or does Markus look kind of, greenish gray? I give him a tap with another feeler and ask, “You alright there?”

He swallows heavily and shakes his head. I slow down a bit.

“Awwww!” Eleonor whines with a pout.

Maybe that will… ah, nope, I’m fairly sure that was his lunch. At least the dungeon will clean it up like everything else.

A few minutes later we’re at the dungeon entrance, so I set them all down and reform my body. Markus still looks visibly shaken, but the others are no worse for wear.

“At some point I should experiment with how fast you humans can typically move without issues. I had four useful test subjects before, but they all passed out before I could have gotten useful data… oh well, it’s what they say about hindsight I guess.”

(You really do remember the weirdest things.)

“Anyway, I have no idea if either or both of you are useful, but my Assistant floated the idea of adding you to our party. Our rogue quit last night so we’re lacking a lock picker or whatever else he used to do. I don’t know, never actually ran a high enough level dungeon with them to have locked doors or whatever.”

“I’ll… urp have to stop you there. We already have a party, with two other members. Also, Eleonor is terrible at that, she doesn’t even have any Skills in the category other than visual perception,” Markus says.

“Yup yup! We use scrolls for that!” the scout confirms.

Huh.

“That’s fine,” my paladin says, “if that changes let us know. We could also try to clear some multiple party dungeons together, if you’re open to it.”

Eleonor smiles brightly. “We’ll talk to the others! I bet it’ll be fine. It sounds fun!”

“Aha, sure. We’re heading to the academy town, so I assume we’ll part ways here,” the mage says. “Thank you for the demonstration. Good day.”

He takes Eleonor by the shoulder and despite her protests, they head off in the direction of the academy.

“So. Now what?” I ask no one in particular.

***

I really, genuinely have no idea what I’m supposed to do here.

Across the table, my paladin sips some light brown liquid. At least she’s enjoying herself, I guess. Earlier it had a bunch of white fluffy stuff floating on top of it, but she stirred all of that into the rest of her drink.

(Today was as good as any a day to drag you out for a date, ‘Casanova’. A café though, eh? Haven’t been to one of those in a long time,) Nyx says.

Sure. What exactly do people do at places like this? I mean, what’s the appeal?

(They eat a light meal or share a dessert, or have something fancy to drink. But you don’t eat or drink, do you? Yeah, you’re just along for the ride I guess.)

Wait.

I have an idea.

I manifest a feeler and reach toward the plate on the table, and the white triangular thing on it. I dip the end of it into the soft sticky stuff on the outside, and then draw it in closer to get a better look. Hmm. Some kind of paste, probably. It’s smooth though. I bring the gooey smear toward my mouth, and… notice that Izahne is watching me closely.

“I don’t know if I can taste things, I haven’t tried it before. I don’t need to eat or drink since I get everything I need from vitality and souls. So, I’m going to try. Doing this here is probably a bad idea in case weird things happen, but oh well.”

She returns a simple “Okay,” with a small but growing smile.

Well, whatever. I finish the motion and stick the goop and the end of the feeler in the large hole in my face.

And.

What is this? This sensation.

(It’s taste. You have a sense of taste.)

“I… can taste it,” I cautiously say.

My paladin’s smile continues to grow. “Do you like it?”

I furrow my brow. “I don’t know. I don’t know how to describe it. I… hmm, I wonder…”

I focus the sensation toward our bond, and her expression softens. “It tastes sweet. Maybe too sweet by itself? It would be better with a full bite instead of just frosting,” she suggests.

Huh. So that’s ‘sweet’, then.

(You know, we should have thought of this sooner. You have True Sense. That should include all mortal senses… and taste is definitely a mortal sense.)

You’re not wrong, but in my defense, I don’t have to eat, so I kind of just never thought of trying it.

“Want to try this? It’s also sweet.” Izahne gestures toward her cup.

I shrug. “I guess, if you want me to try it.” I dematerialize my feeler over the plate, and the remains of the white smear – frosting, apparently – drops onto it. Being able to do this is so convenient! It looks like a little bit of my ash went with it… not enough to matter though.

I spend the next few minutes trying to figure out how I’m supposed to ingest this stuff, and none of Izahne’s or Nyx’s suggestions are helping. So far I’ve managed to spill it on my clothes twice and choke on it once – a thing easily resolved by a quick partial dematerializing! Although I guess it did get the attention of the people in weird uniforms here, one even came over to ask if I was alright.

(And then you went and told them it was your first time trying to drink something,) Nyx jabs.

Well it was! And I figured it out, mostly.

“It doesn’t taste anything like how it smells. Oh, I can do that too by the way. But I could do that before,” I say.

With a sly smile, my paladin says, “That gives me an idea too.”

“Like what?”

She glances away. “I’ll tell you later.”

By the gods, she’s going to be weird again tonight, isn’t she?

(No question.)

To what I assume is the horror of everyone around me, I sigh the biggest cloud of ash yet.