I shoot upright in my bed.

Apparently that… that…

What happened?

…

The mass of fluff shifts next to me… I must have sat up fast enough to disturb my…

Wife…

That is not my wife.

“Olive!? What the hells are you doing here?”

I’d have assumed her writing tablet was in her dimensional storage, but considering she’s made no attempt to get it out…

Or maybe she doesn’t want to or something, I don’t know. She doesn’t have her uniform on, so if it actually is in her apron maybe that’s why she doesn’t have it? Anyway, she starts blearily babbling.

“This one, comfort providing! Other one, busy, elsewhere, else do, trade!”

Hoo boy. Okay, so there was a comfort in there… and a… trade?

“Trade what?” I ask suspiciously.

“Comfort, providing!” she replies.

I sigh. “What comfort?”

(What else? You’ve been out for a full month,) Nyx answers for her. (Some of us have been worried about you. Not me though.)

Yeah, sure. Whatever. At least the headache is gone… or did I have one…?

(Well, usually all I can feel from your infernal bond is really strong emotions, but this time it lit up with pain. The others seem to have had the same experience.)

Huh.

I glance to the side and realize Olive has been staring at me expectantly…

Oh, right. She can hear my thoughts, same as Nyx…

At least that means I don’t have to repeat the conversation that just happened.

…

Wait, is she crying? Why the hells is she crying?

“Relief!” she blurts.

I tilt my head to one side. “Why? It’s not like you’re mortal. Even if I’d slept for what, a thousand years? You’d still be here, right? And besides, it’s not like I tried to pass out for a month.”

And she responds by throwing herself at me, wrapping her arms around my torso and sobbing quietly, burying her face in my chest.

How am I even supposed to react to this?

(Comfort her, idiot. She’s been waiting.)

That’s not helpful.

I guess I’ll just… I don’t know, pat her head or something?

Her tails go stiff for a moment before relaxing as she leans into my hand.

Now I just need her to put on some damn clothes or something.

I can already tell she’s getting weird ideas from what our bond is radiating, so I disperse to my ash form.

“I need to… I don’t know, tell the others I’m not dead or whatever. Or that I’m awake I guess.”

And without another word I dart through the wall toward the throne room.

***

And nobody is waiting there. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, it’s not like I was here either.

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But I am now.

I’m awake, I project through all my bonds… except the one with the headmaster, I’m sure he already knows.

Olive appears to the side of my throne in her usual way, finally wearing clothes… her usual maid uniform.

The responses I feel from my retainers vary… most of them are some combination of surprise and relief…

Yeah, that’s definitely disappointment from Pearl though.

A few minutes and a thunderous clatter of chitinous legs later, Vivianne blows through the side door, shifting to her usual smallish humanoid form before sliding to a kneel on the carpet.

…And then she doesn’t say anything.

“You can speak. I don’t really care, especially not now.”

Without raising her head the centipede knight says, “It gives me great pleasure to see you hale and whole, majesty. Do… do attempt to not make this a habit, yes? We retainers, we have made our best efforts to maintain your will, but without your presence, sometimes we’ve had to rely on our own judgment.”

“Enough formality,” I dismiss. “Just tell me if I missed anything important.”

I can practically feel Olive bristle next to me, but I leave responding to Vivianne.

…Who takes a breath before responding.

“We have an insurgency problem.”

…

“Alright, and what does that mean?” I ask with a tinge of impatience.

(It means that someone is killing your citizens, and we haven’t caught them yet,) my former Assistant answers.

“Ah, I see.”

…

“So I just need to find out who, and then kill them. Right?”

“That would be one solution, yes,” Vivianne nods.

I rest my head on my hand. “I assume we don’t know who because I wasn’t awake to surveil or whatever, right?”

“You can do that? I mean, ahem. Do you typically maintain surveillance in that way?”

“Hypothetically. I usually don’t bother. I have my kin set to alert me if they get attacked – though I’d probably notice to begin with, it feels like this prickling in the back of my head. But anyway, this is just a problem. It’ll get solved.”

Although…

Wait a minute.

I turn to my head maid. “Olive. You have some title about being a spymaster or something, right? Do you know anything about this?”

And she shakes her head.

“Why not?”

“Attending,” is all she says.

Oh.

“Well,” I reply, “I’d like you to start monitoring for this. I don’t know what methods you have but, do something. And tell me if you find out who they are, I’d like to kill – I mean, interrogate them personally.”

With a nod and another burst of flame, a dozen Olive copies appear around her, who each burst into another dozen copies before the whole lot disappears, leaving the original standing in her original place.

…

“Wait. If you could do that, why didn’t you do it before and keep watch?”

The fox spirit gives me a mournful look, upturning her eyes in a way that even though she’s standing and I’m sitting, I can practically feel her looking up at me.

I sigh. “Right. ‘Trade’ or whatever.”

She’s still radiating concern, but there’s at least a little relief in there too now.

“Fine. Whatever. What else has been going on?”

The knight on the carpet offers a small nod and continues. “Abaris managed trade negotiations with the Mercantile Guild – we aren’t exclusive with them, but we are offering a discount in exchange for them promoting our plane’s goods. In the same way, we’re receiving a discount on theirs – though not as big as the one we’re offering.”

I gesture for her to continue, and so she does.

“Izahne, Pearl, and Nyx have continued their dungeoneering. They made a foolish attempt at the labyrinth but would have likely died if Rose hadn’t intervened and have since focused entirely on the forest dungeon.”

“Forest dungeon?” I ask.

“Yes, the forest dungeon.”

Huh.

“Alright. Continue.”

“Omorth has adopted a role as a member of my knights. He’ll still be assigned as one of your personal guardians, but he’ll also be receiving additional instruction,” she says.

…

“Do we have more knights? I thought it was just you.”

“It is just me. The others died to… to you.”

“Ah.”

Silence stretches for a few moments.

…

“I could probably resurrect them, you know. Well, as long as their souls are tied to me the same way as all those homunculus priests. I’m not sure what they’d remember though, so they might just be useless. I can try if you want me to though.”

Vivianne glances up at me in disbelief. “Did… did she actually form soul pacts with all of her followers?”

I shrug. “No idea. At least the priests, yes, but maybe the knights? I could just try and if it doesn’t work then it doesn’t work.”

Ah, speaking of Omorth, there he is, blade flying tip first through the main entryway, trailing ash as he goes. He rapidly reforms his body and drops to a kneel next to Vivianne.

Good.

Yes, good.

Other than a few minor setbacks, it seems that nothing is worse for wear despite me being absent for a month.

“Anything else?”

The animated sword rumbles, and I can tell it’s because he wants to speak.

“Go on, then.”

“Yes, my queen,” he rumbles back. “Citizens are disappearing. It’s possible that they are simply leaving the plane, but if they were they would most likely bring their personal effects with them.”

I frown. “Are they not?”

“No. It is as if they simply vanish, leaving everything behind.”

I glance toward Olive and lift an eyebrow, and in response another dozen dozen Olives appear and promptly teleport like the others.

“You should show me how to do that, it looks useful. Or maybe just fun.”

The fox spirit looks conflicted for a moment before saying a single word: “Moon.”

“Ah. I see.”

…

I could probably do something like that with Spellspeech… but for some reason, even thinking about that right now causes a twinge somewhere inside me, like a pulled muscle or something?

(Check your messages, dumbass,) Nyx comments.

Wait, I still get those?

[WARNING: Corruption to Akashic Self detected!]

[Self-restoration protocol initiated: Attempt 1.]

[Self-restoration protocol has completed successfully.]

Woah, what? How did my soul get corrupted?

(Did you ever stop to think why you get headaches when you use Spellspeech?)

Nope.

And there’s another trademark Nyx facepalm.