Two sponsors, she said. Two.

Eris herself will be one of them, of course.

And oddly enough, another stepped forward… a name I know.

Sekhmet.

Why? I think it’s obvious.

She wants her son back, and she thinks I have the influence to make it happen. Except…

“You do realize grandmother more tolerates me than dotes on me, right?”

“Maybe,” the goddess of blood and war replies, “but that’s more sway than anyone else, be they god or mortal, has with the ancient horror. If I’m ever to see Sahura again, it will be through you, or the distant possibility that Lamashtu tires of him. But even then… she’s more likely to simply dispose of him.”

I shrug. “You’re not wrong. I mean, I could ask her. Just don’t get your hopes up. Also, hmm.”

I probably shouldn’t admit that his blood is delicious… way more that Tathra’s, even if his does carry a hint of it, possibly more like an aftertaste.

(Good call, dumbass. You want a war with her too?) Nyx interjects.

Well. To be fair, I don’t really care. I’m already at war with how many gods, supposedly? Or at least declared them enemies I guess…

(Close enough. You need allies.)

You’re not wrong, although if they all just left me alone I’d do the same.

“Please do.”

“I’ll admit… I didn’t expect you to be so desperate to get back a family member. Most of the gods I’ve met are quick to throw away the people around them or use them as pawns or something.”

She offers me a sad smile before quietly saying, “Not all of us are so distant from those around us. If I’m not mistaken, you are much the same, even taking a retainer for a wife.”

“Is that a jab about my missing wife?” I snap before I can catch myself.

“No! No, not at all,” Sekhmet quickly answers with a placating gesture. “I was simply… Hm.”

Eris has been silent throughout this entire meeting so far, other than introducing us to each other. We’re in her garden; she’d said we needed neutral ground for this kind of meeting, and I can’t say I disagree.

Izahne probably would have suggested the same, and I wouldn’t disagree with her either. If we’d been in my own garden, it’d be too easy for my current conversation partner to interpret my constant aura of malevolence as hostility or even a threat.

…

I’ve been very, very lightly draining the foliage around us, not nearly enough to show, but at least enough to give me a taste. It’s clear that Eris at least somewhat tends her garden herself, considering it tastes the same.

We’ve had a somewhat awkward silence since our last exchange, which I’ve been using to experience Eris’ choice of tea. It still feels strange to have inherited that from Astraea… I’m not sure what to think about it, or her choice of mortal foods and so on. I definitely don’t need that kind of nourishment, and neither did she…

“Will… you do this for me, then?” Sekhmet eventually asks, much more meekly than I’d expected from a war god.

“I guess. Just remember it’s only my part. She’s almost definitely going to say no, the most she usually does for me is visit for… lunch… hm.”

She stares dumbfoundedly at me for a moment.

But I don’t wait.

“Eris, do you care if I invite one more to this little tea party of yours?”

Unauthorized reproduction: this story has been taken without approval. Report sightings.

***

And sure enough, sitting in the fourth and final chair at the table is the regal and elegant frame of my one living direct family member, in matching regal and elegant attire, demurely sipping tea.

…Which definitely has a faint splash of Sahura’s blood in it…

…And which she’d also subtly added to my own from her dimensional storage.

I’ll have to thank her later, though I’m sure Sekhmet wouldn’t appreciate it.

And she’s definitely noticed, too, from the awkwardness… although just as much of it is probably from the fact that her son’s captor is at the table with us like some kind of hostage negotiation.

Which I guess it is.

“Anyway, thanks for coming.”

“Of course, child,” grandmother answers in a smooth purr. “This is a much better soiree than the light pantheon ever produces, although the looks they give certainly do offer a reasonable satisfaction…”

She glances toward Sekhmet and continues, “Although yours may just be better.”

Out of nowhere, the goddess of war and blood stands from her chair, suddenly enough that it almost topples over. And just when I think she’s about to foolishly attack the ancient horror…

Sekhmet drops to her hands and knees and presses her forehead to the ground. “Please return my son! Offer this lowly one this boon, he is precious to me in the same way that your own granddaughter is precious to you! I beseech you! In return, I will offer anything, anything you desire of me! My wealth, my home, my servitude! Please!”

Well.

This isn’t at all what I expected, but maybe I should have from the things she’s already said.

Lamashtu takes on a thoughtful expression for a moment…

And the moment stretches longer and longer.

…

It’s becoming clear that she’s just not going to respond at all.

…

…

Well, whatever. I know how to make this better anyway, and to win myself in the process.

“If I might offer a suggestion,” I say, “you’re keeping the princeling as a blood bag. Why don’t you just take a tithe of blood directly from Sekhmet herself instead? Then you don’t need to bother keeping him alive, and you get even better quality blood. That seems like a better arrangement to me.”

A thoughtful expression crosses grandmother’s face for a moment before she lightly shrugs. “That is agreeable, or agreeable enough. Assuming, of course, that I’m offered appropriate assurances that you will not attempt to renege on the agreement. And you will offer me unquestioning loyalty as well, and to my granddaughter.”

That… I didn’t expect.

“I’m not sure you’re going to need the assurances; if she tries to back out you could always just kidnap Sahura again. It’s pretty clear she can’t protect him from you anyway.”

“Very well. We will adopt your proposal, my child, assuming our other party accepts…?”

“Yes!” the war goddess blurts. “Yes, I accept unconditionally!”

“And that’s that, I guess,” I shrug.

And out of nowhere, a bound human…like lands on the table before us. His body is covered with scars and weeping wounds. Sekhmet practically flies from the ground, throwing herself at the wounded Sahura, weeping and fawning over him while constantly babbling words of gratitude and relief.

Grandmother just keeps impassively sipping her tea.

…

…

I… have an underling now, I think. Of the divine variety, I mean…

How the hells did that happen?

WELL DONE, CHILD, grandmother’s voice booms in my mind. WAITING IS BEST TO ALLOW THE VICTIM’S DESPERATION TO BUILD. THIS IS A USEFUL DEVELOPMENT.

I simply offer her a small smile. If she thinks that was intentional, then I’m going to let her keep that misconception; I just thought it was an excuse to trade something good for something better, while buttering up a potential ally.

Especially given that I’m going to use these people and their connections for everything they’re worth to find my wife.

I hope they’re prepared for that.

***

Ah, I was absolutely right! Sekhmet’s blood is even better than Sahura’s! All I had to do was tell her to give me a similar – albeit smaller – tithe to Lamashtu’s, and she immediately caved. And, thanks to the Mantle of Domain: Blood, she doesn’t even suffer anemia or anything from it – whatever anemia is. She’s practically god’s blood on tap. It doesn’t even clot in the glass!

I still didn’t want to be greedy though, so I just took one small barrel for now. I can always nudge her for more, especially given I can reach her telepathically after all.

…Thanks to that bright, shiny new Blood Bond I’ve given her. She was hesitant at first, but all I needed to do is remind her of the agreement. Not that it’ll do much of anything… I think Blood Bond doesn’t actually work on gods if I remember right? But it’s symbolic if nothing else.

Besides, it’s not like I plan on forcing her to do anything horrible.

Probably.

(Probably?) Nyx asks.

Yes, probably.

…

Although.

(Yeah, here we go.)

Stop, this is good.

“Sekhmet. I have an order for you, but don’t worry too much… it’s not like I’m going to have you attack anyone or anything. It’s actually pretty simple.”

She’s presently in my still-empty throne room, not that it’s particularly uncomfortable to simply float in my seat of power’s former place.

Looking up at me from the ground the goddess of war and blood asks, “What is it you wish, my master?”

With a single thought, I have Nula fetch someone for me. Not even a minute later, they arrive, after which my head maid bows as I dismiss her to return to her other duties.

Once she’s gone, I gesture to the two still present and say, “I’m sure you remember each other.”

…

“Sekhmet. Your first order is to apologize to Tathra. He has been particularly useful to me, and I think this would be a suitable reward for the time being.”