I stay away from the group as we travel north as much as possible but, for safety and with the number of pursuers after us, I end up having to send Rowland and Nahl after their scouts to ensure they never exactly know where we are.
My eyes come in very useful for this but they also make it even more difficult for me not to act personally because of how easy it would be for me to sneak up on them.
I can't help but do so a few times but restrain myself to using flow which is eminently unsatisfactory because of how impersonal it feels. It is ironic that I am almost as powerful as I've ever been with almost forty portions of access but feel even more powerless than I did as a peasant.
It makes me realize that I've misled myself. I've taken physical activity to be a measure of my efforts and success when, in fact, I've achieved similar results in using my flow to overwhelm the pursuers we run into.
These past two weeks of travel, I've defeated several troops of thirty with merely constructs without taking a single step. The issue with a rested body and mind is that I've experienced more nightmares than ever, many that awoke me in cold sweat wishing to find one of my lovers by my side and crushed when I find neither.
I pushed people away, focused on quill and parchment to alleviate my need for action. I've written dozens of essays touching on everything my adventures have taught me about the world.
From the way Nobility functions, how it holds and strengthens its power, how they scheme to drain peasants of their means and wealth so as to aggrandize themselves.
The fact that their methods work because they are present everywhere and united when it comes to keeping low born suppressed. I've drawn comparisons between soldiers and phalangites who are given no comparable privileges to those Nobles hold despite the fact they are fulfilling Nobility's historical role of defending the Empire.
In my mind, none of those pieces which often repeat themselves are it. None of them say all they need to or find the linchpin I seem to be looking for in writing these texts.
Still, I kept trying because it helps keep me alive, restrain the impulses I have to throw myself headlong into battle as I have in romance to feel alive, because the threat of death ironically pushes me to risk my life to escape it.
I wrote down a detailed description of the plowing construct and a list of instructions to make one with wide-spread runes. This, I used paper for because I intend to have it copied to be spread out.
Much of what I wrote was inspired by Leomi as it turns out. It wasn't an unconscious slip or result of her influence on me but because, when I sat down, I sought the most feasible methods to affect change involve influencing Nobility rather than attempting to obliterate it.
I sought to find ways to disprove this, such as exposing in detail how inefficient the system is and how Noble houses are a drain on the Empire, that the Empire is shackled in its development because of it.
I expose in writing how weak Nobles are without peasants yet still cannot escape the fact that such texts are most easily used to temporarily solve the current system's issues rather than convince others to abandon the system entirely.
I try to lay out the logic of enticing people to proactively rule themselves by involving them in the prosperity of their demesne, the logic of creating a system where the resources used to keep peasantry under control are used for their development.
Yet, I know that such is not a convincing argument. It is easier to destroy than to change, it is easier to destroy than to create, but is it incomparably easier to change than to destroy and then create.
It is such simplistic calculation that causes me to despair because the logical solution won't be sought because there is no emotion behind it so I must reach this logical result with an emotional vector.
As I found no solution to that issue, I decided to use black ink to write down Jessica Freepath and Elizabeth Vil's story, always careful not to leave any indication that we two are beings of one mind but showing no such prudence towards other secrets like what I saw in the institute.
Yet, this dry recollection of events didn't give me a solution either so I began writing essays about sabotage, defense, battle, walls, constructs, and anything that crossed my mind. Those allowed me to organize the information floating in my mind and draw knowledge out of it I can transmit as well as realize my flaws.
I've made more and more mistakes as I began acting on my own, since I no longer have Celyz, Lance, or Aisha to rely on for guidance and information. I have intelligence and power but those are useless if I'm to walk into a patrol because I don't know their schedules.
It is so simple, so stupid, so obvious, yet there are so many variables it is difficult to account for even a fraction of them which means my ability to act is limited. The solution is evident, so much so that I've found it before even noticing this problem caused by my asocial tendencies.
The destruction of Nobility must be a wide-spread endeavor pursued by a large enough portion of the population that the movement can achieve some limited victories that will then build upon themselves. Nobility is as a dam on freedom which will burst if damaged enough.
That is why I write, it is why I am trying to find a solution to trigger revolt, it is why I seek a way to give both motivation and method through text that I can spread out at the right timing when I've hurt Nobility's image enough that their perceived invincibility becomes but a dream.
I've made much progress in that direction on Izla Meria and then during the battle in Meiridin and then out in the plains, the Lisilese will grant me the opportunity to prove the Empire doesn't need Nobility and Cenwalh's death will drive that point home.
It'll be extremely difficult without the Little one but I can do it, I have to because I can't wait seven or nine months to act if I am to return to Celyz to find a way to survive.
I pick out a piece of parchment where I transcribed a mixture of Leomi's and my ideas. It explains how Nobility has proven itself incapable of both governing and defending their people.
The old system has grown too large for a small group of people entrenched in their self-interest to handle a more complicated world without resorting to expedient actions which rarely solve problems.
In this essay, I describe Nobility as a village where people don't cooperate and seek to steal milk from calves to ensure their offspring grow taller, which as anyone who's taken care of livestock knows is a recipe for disaster.
I may have been slightly delirious when I made that metaphor but the point stands, the Empire is divided and only holds together because Nobles fear the Emperor and wish to climb the ladder.
The main point of this piece is the last sentence, the one phrase which I intend to use to put the Order's zealots at odds with Nobility. While Templars usually act as a whole, it only takes a single controversial confrontation with high tempers for things to degenerate.
'If one day a Noble grows powerful enough, they will inevitably seek to replace the Emperor because that is how Nobility functions, the one with the most power rules.'
I put the piece of parchment back in my pouch and rise. On the horizon is a castle that used to be part of Hetlan, ruled by a Noble sworn to the previous Duchess of Hetlan but now controlled by one of Cenwalh's. It occupies a valley and is one of the only entrances to the Duchy of Hetlan that's somewhat out of the way.
I head to the camp of runaways that lies ahead for the first time in a dozen days. They now have proper tents and enough pack animals to carry food, they've grown from thirty to perhaps sixty.
Helen never ended up leaving after being taken hostage and I don't care enough to find out why. I've observed them change from a distance, become more united during their travels as they solved the difficulties together.
I felt no need to participate and still don't. Their success or failure depend on themselves, so far they've pulled it together which is likely due to the old Exemplar's help and that irks me because they could have made it alone.
Not to mention he is a symbol of what keeps the system together, a symbol of the compromises made that ease peasant lives but also keep them oppressed. Dark emotions swirl in my mind as I cross into the camp.
I find said old Exemplar sitting at the fire with a newborn in his arms as he speaks to one of the mothers with a benevolent expression. I close my fist and slowly open it to cool myself.
“Rowland, Nahl!” I call out.
“Here!” Nahl replies from inside a tent.
“We're going ahead, they likely spotted you with the rising sun.” I tell them.
“I can help you discuss passage.” Siegfried speaks up.
“No.” I deny.
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“There is no door the Emperor's name cannot pry open. When He woke, His first words were for the Order to deal with the aftermath of the institute's victims.” He preaches.
“Too bad he didn't speak those words before there were any victims.” I mock this ridiculous assertion, causing a shocked silence to fall on the camp.
I snort and walk away only to run into Uhla who walks out of a tent with a grimace on her face because of a small vomit stain on her shirt. She gives me a glance and I return a brief negative shake to tell her I don't need healing.
As we make our way to the castle, we climb atop a hill and find a view on the city sprawling beneath the walls. There are few people in the streets because many have left for the fields.
Those that remain are either Nobles or the very poor as usually in those cities the stores belong to Nobility. I head into the city with the nervous duo in tow. I have no idea why they would be, after all you're the very incarnation of stability.
“Please, he tripped!” A panicked voice arises from the left.
I glance there to find a little boy about four-years-old with a round smudged face wearing rags about twenty meters away next to a blond woman glancing down at a mud-stain on her a spotless white uniform with a horned horse as a crest. The boy's father is kneeling, prostrating for forgiveness.
“This, on top of not paying taxes...” The woman trails off but the threat is evident in her tone.
“I beg you, we don't have any coin!” He pleads.
The little boy, looking a bit afraid but mostly lost raises his hand with a quizzical expression, as if reaching out for forgiveness. The woman pulls her arm back for a back-slap. My body and flow move before my mind does.
The energy falls into place and I cross the distance in a flash. I snatch the woman's ear and jerk her head back, causing her slap to miss. She glances at my arm with a shocked expression.
“You put your hands on me.” She mutters in disbelief.
“Girl, I'm about to do much worse.” I tell her with a cold voice.
I jerk her ear down with all my strength, causing her skin to tear at the base and the woman to drop to her knees from the pain. I keep pulling down, slowly shearing the bit of flesh from her head.
“Aarrrrh!” She screams like a pig at the slaughterhouse.
I ignore her and turn to the pale man who grabs his young kid in his protective arms. I inspect them for a moment and conclude that they're beggars, people who lost everything or were born without anything to begin with.
“If begging worked, there wouldn't be as many people hung.” I tell him matter-of-factly as I rip the ear clear off. “You might want to try retaliating.”
“Aaarrrrhhhhhh!”
“What point is there? Especially now?” The father asks, trembling and afraid.
“Aarr-khuh-rraaaah!” The girl chokes on her tears as she holds the bloody side of her head.
“If you lie low in the face of violence or injustice, then your lot won't improve and neither will other people's.” I calmly note.
“Arrh!”
“What's going on! Let her go, you savage!” An authoritative voice arises from behind me.
“It was merely an act of preventive altruistic defense.” I reply humorously as I slowly turn to find an officer in the same white uniform. The father scampers away as soon as my eyes leave him. “Or whatever other absurdity passes for justification in your laws.” I add.
“Who... Jessica Freepath! You're not meant to be so far east!” The officer exclaims as he glances to my left side. His cheeks quickly turn white.
“Yes, well, it turns out scouts are quite easy to trick when there aren't enough of them left to keep a constant eye on me.” I tell him with a mean grin.
“Wh, what do you want?” The man stutters.
“Ah, right, I forgot!” I exclaim as I raise the piece of flesh I ripped off to speak into it. “When someone begs, you should lend an ear.” I whisper into it.
“You're crazy!” The woman screams with her obnoxious voice.
“Eh, so-so lately.” I lazily reply.
I throw the bloody bit over my shoulder just as dismissively as I responded to her and lift my hand with the palm up. Two streams of flow rush out of my body and strike at the officers.
The woman is directly knocked out while the man manages to block with a construct of his own that I quickly overwhelm. I hear sounds of battle in a nearby street and head over there.
Rowland and Nahl are blocking a patrol of soldiers without officers who seem to have just exited a tavern that they left in bad shape with broken tables and a barman on the ground with a black eye.
“Go back to the camp, tell them to set out while I wreak havoc here.” I tell them.
“No.” Nahl refuses.
“N...”
“Too late, he said it first.” I interrupt Rowland and reach out to seize his collar with my flow.
“W, wait!” He protests.
I send him flying back and then expel eight portions of flow to directly overwhelm the soldiers. They try to fight back with defensive constructs but I merely use air to lock their shields into place and strike at their unprotected flesh with kinetic cubes.
“You didn't kill that woman, did you?” Nahl asks me worriedly as people slowly peek out of their windows to see who won the fight.
“No, but maybe I should.” I say, wondering if the event will cause the woman to be fearful or worse in her abuses.
“You can't condemn people for things they haven't done.” Nahl tells me.
“Indeed.” I reply.
I keep under silence the fact that I don't need to condemn people to justify killing them for who they are. It isn't fair but no one has ever claimed war to be a just creature.
“Go away! Traitors! Murderers!”
A group of a few dozen people arrives wielding old farming tools and some with brand new pickaxes. I blink and send my energy to seize Nahl. I propel him towards the exit of the city as the event isn't one he can handle.
“Jessica, you...” He starts.
“Go back, I'll be fine and so will they.” I tell him.
I gather twenty portions out of the hundred I've barely managed to store in my body and armor during the past week to make a barrier to block the street. It takes all my focus to shape the flow according to my intent and maintain it.
When they brandish their pitchforks at the golden wall, the tools stop dead. The try and try again but, while their hands pass, their clothes are blocked and thus the wall blocks their advance.
“We won't let you cause mayhem here!”
“Go away, traitor to your King!”
“Leave, murderer!”
“You're all getting a bit repetitive.” I inform those haranguing me from their windows.
“Wench!”
“Whore!”
Kh, kh, kh. Okay, I'll admit that backfired. I yawn and close off my senses to these crazed people, aware I'm going to have to play with them for a few hours but not frightened in the least because the castle shouldn't have more than three or four squads of soldiers at the most.
Of those, perhaps one or two has real combat experience and none would have the skill in flow necessary to beat me. Perhaps if the titled Noble shows up but I doubt whoever it is will have the courage to face me.
As predicted, more and more people gather to chase me away with some soldiers joining in but there is no organized effort made to do battle with me so I pull my energy back around my body and let them surround me.
They brandish their weapons at me but few dare attack as all who try end up eating dust with the slightest raise of my hand. The group of runaways arrives at the border of the city half an hour later. A few air-shields suffice to clear their path forward.
The runaways and the inhabitants challenge each other with fierce expressions but the latter have no guts to start a fight with my flow circling the area, which allows them to pass through the city at the foot of the castle and then make their way through the valley into Hetlan.
“I see you've acted brashly once more.” Siegfried notes sadly as he approaches.
“What gives you that idea, old man?” I ask sarcastically.
“The blood there, and their fearful eyes when they look at you.” He replies.
“Someone has to act at some point, else Nobility will tear the Empire apart with their conflicts.” I utter with a sharp tone.
“The Emperor will, I trust Him to do what's best for Humanity because he always has and it kept us alive for as long as we have.” Siegfried replies.
“Your Order prospers gloriously while peasantry suffers. You may not be as bad as high born but you owe the population for your inaction.” I gripe.
“From where we stand, at this moment, does it not appear that you are the cause of their suffering and distress?” The old man counters exactly as my eyes fall on a woman staring at me with a hateful expression. “Nobility is as often a strength as it is a weakness for the Empire, things are not simple.”
“Hypocrite, even if that were true, you know that eliminating them would open the way for a better system yet you support this.” I criticize. “Look at how poor desperate these people are, their circumstances are so precarious they fear they'll be blamed for our so-called crimes.”
“Or they truly believe in their King.” Siegfried notes.
“...” I grit my teeth to hold myself back but the Exemplar shows no sign of leaving. “Why follow me old man?” I ask as I've long suspected he has more reasons to remain than those he has revealed.
“Ah.” He says. “Several reasons beyond ensuring these brave people reach a safe new home. At first, there was the matter of Vikiana whose death should be avenged. Then, I've seen your mastery over flow and those constructs you make use of, I hope to convince you to contribute what you know to the Empire.”
“Nobility would benefit.” I note, forcing myself to remain calm so as not to lash out in fright or anger, or both. “You stand against what they are at their worst yet appear to have no issue strengthening them.”
“Because I see the Empire as more than its individual parts.” The old Exemplar sighs. “We must all grow stronger, together, to survive.”
“I disagree, some must die for the Empire to become a cohesive entity which is the only way to truly become stronger.” I deny.
“Hm, I cannot deny the merit to your words.” Siegfried quietly admits.