The idea of running away is tempting but the alcohol in my system is smoothing my edges and I use that to my advantage. I don't want to be alone. It's just a meal.

I feel her push on the door again. I step away and let her open it. I turn my face away despite the fact that it's already hidden. Teva raises her hands to take hold of the helmet.

“Can I take it off?”

“Okay.” I whisper. She pulls it off slowly.

“Who hurt you like this?” The expression in Teva's hazel eyes is painful to look at.

“It's okay, it feels good when she hurts me.” I try to shrug casually but my shoulders are shaking. “I'll get her back.”

“...That's not any kind of good. The look on your face could break a mirror.”

I rush past her and enter the room to avoid seeing the face that she's making. I leave my hammer on top of the rest of my equipment. I hear Teva sigh behind me, she moves to the table and sits down. I take the helmet from her and throw it on top of the bed.

“How did it go with the others?” I ask, joining her at the table.

“It went well, they were all polite apart from that bandit woman. I didn't stay long once they started to get drunk. Their suggestions beforehand were...”

“I know, I'll remind them that I decide whether they get paid or not if I need to.” I interrupt her.

“Oh, I didn't know I needed to show my respect, Lady Vil.” Teva teases me. “Should I make a bow?”

“Don't.” I frown, not amused in the slightest by the title.

“Sorry.” She pushes a plate and a glass of beer towards me. “Let's eat.”

I dig in without wasting time, I'm almost always hungry now. I notice that she spends more time looking at me than at her plate while we eat. Her hand brushes against mine a few times.

Teva's movements seem natural but it happens too often for it to be a coincidence. I don't say anything, I want to feel close to someone again and it's not entirely unpleasant. I down my glass of beer in one gulp.

“You really eat a lot, huh?” She comments when I get started on my third plate.

“I had an exhausting couple of weeks.” I try to justify myself, blushing a little.

“You look really cool with that glove on your hand.” Teva tells me softly.

“It's just hiding an injury.” I reply quickly.

“Okay.” She whispers, taking hold of my other hand. Her fingers are warm, hers were cold.

“I. I can't.” I pull my hand away and hurriedly stand up, my chair falls over behind me. She said we were just going to eat!

“You need someone. Let me be that person.” Teva gets up and approaches me. “I prom... I can be there for you, as long as you allow me to be.”

I walk backward until I hit a wall, my stomach ties itself into a knot.

“Please leave me alone, please.” I feel tears pushing their way up.

“You're strong, shy, broken.” She walks up to me and caresses my cheek. “I want you and you need comfort. Isn't that enough?” She asks.

“I'm afraid.” My body starts shaking as the void in my heart roars. “I don't have anything to give you, I'm empty inside.” I admit shamefully.

“You don't have to worry, I'm the one that's going to give you something.” Teva leans in and leaves a hot kiss on my ear. She then takes my hand and pulls me towards the bed. “Do you want me to?”

“Okay.” I expel the word out without letting myself think it through. Just in time, a ball of fear blocks my throat immediately after.

She pushes the helmet away and gently helps me lean back on the mattress. I bite my lips to stop the emptiness from forcing a no out of me. I want to be touched, loved.

I let her take my shirt off without moving. It takes all my willpower to stay on the bed without running away. Teva kisses the base of my neck, and then my right breast. Her lukewarm lips make me shiver and my nipple hardens.

She brings a hand around to start caressing the side of my waist, I recoil from the touch. My body is so sensitive right now that the contact of her fingers on my skin is painful.

“You're ticklish, how adorable.” Teva mouth gapes slightly as her breath accelerates. “My mysterious warrior, how are you so resolute while remaining so sensitive?”

I try to swallow my saliva to speak but I fail to make a sound. Her eyes catch the movement of my throat and she exhales heavily with excitement. I tremble a little when I feel her fingers take hold of my nipple and massage it.

Her other hand wanders down to my thighs and I brace myself. It slips under my underwear and lingers over my pubic hair to caress them. This feels nice, she isn't touching me so I don't feel pain.

She resumes exploring after too short a while. Her fingers adventure deeper inside my thighs, they find my most intimate place without delay. I clench my jaw, expecting her to do something and preparing myself. But her hand stops moving entirely and I grow anxious.

“Did I...” I start but don't have the courage to utter the words. Did I do something wrong?

“You. You're, not into this.” Teva stutters. Her red cheeks turn pale white within seconds. “Oh, Emperor. What did I do?” She asks while pulling her hand away from my sex. “I'm so sorry, I thought you were into it, I...” She interrupts her own flurry of words. “What did I just do to you?” She mutters while her entire face drains of all color.

The void's outcry recedes somewhat and I regain some control over my body now that I don't have to spend most of my strength smothering it. I get into a sitting position and bring my knees over to my chest to wrap my arms around my legs in a lonely hug.

“It's fine, I'm fine.” I try to tell Teva, to explain.

“It really, really isn't. And you're not.” She replies with anger on her pale face.

“I'm okay. We can try again, I'll do better.” I plead desperately.

“This isn't your fault!” Teva half-shouts in my face. “I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled." She exhales roughly. "Emperor, what a mess. Elizabeth, this was my mistake. I was too caught up in myself to notice.” She inhales deeply and quiets down a little. “What happened to you?”

“Nothing.” The word escapes me and a grin pulls on my lips.

I notice that my head is inclining itself sideways and stop it. I pull my knees closer to my chest and quash the laughter building up in my stomach.

“I apologize, I won't ask again.” Teva stares at me with a worried expression. “I'm going to leave you alone, like you asked, like I should have done from the beginning. I'm sorry about... what I did.”

“Don't!” I exclaim in panic. The void is awake now, I can't stay alone with it. “I, just hold me to sleep? Please?” I beseech her in a shaky voice.

“Are you sure you want me to?” She asks, guilt all over her face.

“I am.” I force myself to let go of my legs and lean sideways over the bed to prove it.

Teva hesitates for a short while but I can see that she wants to. Her face takes a resolute expression. She takes hold of the bed's cover to lay it over us as she joins me.

I pass my arms around her torso and pull her as close to me as I can. The feel of her ample chest pressing on my skin hurts despite the fact that her shirt is separating us. It's still so much better than nothing.

“Uh.” I make a small cry.

“You alright?” Teva's lips whisper in my ear.

“I'm good.” I reply, tightening my grip around her as much as I dare to without caring that it causes the throbbing ache in my chest to intensify.

She makes a small groan but doesn't complain. I feel her hands wrap around me to start caressing my back. Each stroke is accompanied by a blissful agony.

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“There, there. You'll be fine.” Teva murmurs in my ear.

“Do you want me to... to touch...” I feel too shy to finish the sentence but I propose because I can feel her excited nipples pointing at my skin through the fabric of her shirt.

“No, you don't need to worry about me. Just relax and go to sleep.” She gently tells me.

“What time is it?” I ask to fill the silence.

“I don't know, middle of the evening.”

“Are you sure you don't want me to...” I start.

“I am.” I hear fondness in her voice. “You're too sweet.”

I allow myself to relax and embrace the pain. I start crying and bury my face in the pit of her neck.

--- --- ---

I awaken at the break of dawn. I am still holding her in my arms and she is reciprocating in her sleep. I consider doing something for her, give her pleasure in return for this euphoric torment.

I try to move my left hand to do just that but it doesn't respond. I freeze, all my previous thoughts chased by the cold fear of losing my control over the limb. I assemble the tiny construct and send the signal for food to the arm.

It moves slowly at first like it is awakening from its own slumber. I sigh in relief. It didn't need food, it was just asleep. Although, I do feel hungry now that I think of it.

I do my best not to disturb her as I slip out of bed. I put my shirt and helmet back on. I grab my hammer and leave the room without making a sound.

Downstairs, I find an almost empty room. The only person here is a waiter tending at the bar, the same one that I met yesterday.

“Good morning.” He says with a business smile.

“Hey.” I reply. “Could you please give me as much food as this can buy?” I deposit a silver coin on the counter.

“Should I bring it up to all the guests?”

“No, it's just for me.”

“I'll bring it right over.” He agrees without missing a beat.

I walk over to a table to sit down, I pass the time by assembling lion strike and skin hardening constructs. The waiter soon comes back with a pot of stew, I notice the glance he throws to the left side of my chest but his face doesn't waver.

He sets a rag on the table and places the pot over it. I take my helmet off to fill my own plate and start wolfing down on the food. I keep assembling constructs with my left hand while my right one is busy with the spoon.

It's difficult at first but I get the hang of it after a while, I focus on one of the tasks while keeping the other one at the back of my mind. It takes me a good half hour to finish the entire pot.

I place my hand on my full belly and sigh in contentment. I stand up, grab my hammer and make my way out the back door. I pick an empty spot near the laundry line to start actually training the lion strike.

I use my flow without holding back for the first few overhead strikes to make sure that I still have the hang of it, I finish the exercise by doing a few feinting downward stabs.

I nod in satisfaction. I should be able to hold my own in combat. I reduce the amount of flow I put into the construct and begin my repetitive training in earnest. “Once more.”

I don't know how long I keep swinging the hammer but when I turn around, I find Ulf and Teva observing me quietly from the Tavern's backdoor. I raise a hand to salute them and they return the gesture, she gives me a bright smile.

Teva is carrying her sword at the waist while Ulf is holding an impressive looking recurve bow with a long knife at his belt.

“Good timing, I was told you know the lion's step, Ulf. Would you mind teaching it to me?” I ask him.

“Do you know the lion strike?” He counters with a low voice.

“I do.”

“It is the same construct but applied to your legs, you kick the ground to jump forward and reinforce the other leg for a split second to absorb the impact. Over and over. It takes a lot of time to be sure you won't injure yourself.” He explains.

“How do you train that without risking to break your legs?” I frown.

“Start by using very little flow and small jumps that you can handle even without a construct.” Ulf utters through his beard. “I spent half a year hunting like that, sprained my ankle a few times.”

I assemble a quick lion strike over my right leg and try to kick towards them. There is a small acceleration but not spectacular. It took momentum for them to pick up speed.

“Thanks.” I nod at Ulf, he grunts in return. “Are the others up?”

“They're all ready to go.” Teva answers. “That Rykz is there too.”

“Which one?” I ask.

“The naked one.” She replies with a puzzled face.

I stumble a little. I had not thought of it that way at all. Fenyz isn't really wearing clothes either, just armor.

“I'll be right back.” I tell them.

I hurry inside and fast-walk up the stairs. I put the hard leather armor on and tie the pack with my spare clothes to the back of it. I slip the chain-mail over my shoulders and make my way back downstairs. Finding no one in the main room, I adjust my helmet over my head and step outside.

“Elizabeth.” Celyz salutes me, the humans throw me odd looks.

“Celyz. You should have told me you wanted to leave this morning.” I comment, mostly for the benefit of the gallery.

“Slipped my mind, but that didn't stop you from guessing all on your own.” She replies smoothly.

“Should we get going?” I ask.

“Yes, Fenyz left an hour ago with the army.” Celyz turns and starts walking down a street.

I take a deep breath and follow her, walking past the others who didn't expect our departure to be so sudden. Ulf catches up to me with just a few quick steps and I hear Teva jog up to my right side.

I impulsively extend my right hand to take hold of her warm fingers. She presses them lightly on my palm. I turn to her and she winks. I can't tell what she means to express, but I trust that it's something nice so I return the gesture. The void grumbles inside my chest.

I spend the morning walking hand in hand with her, barely noticing the road. I get so distracted sometimes that my hammer slips in my left hand and I have to catch it before it hits the road.

The limb needs constant orders to keep hold of objects, it isn't usually an issue since I am generally focused on what I'm doing.

As noon arrives, we run into twenty warriors and a dozen workers waiting for us in the middle of the road with a cart of supplies.

“We're stopping for a few minutes only to eat.” Celyz tells us.

Teva and I step aside to eat our meal. I turn my back on the others before taking my helmet off.

“Why are you so serious about hiding your face?” She asks.

“They work for money and don't seem to have many scruples about their ruthless methods.” I reply. Teva stays quiet as she watches me calmly with her hazel eyes. I fold. “Some Nobles know my face and name, I don't want to be recognized.”

“I don't think it's very likely that you'll run into those specific people.”

“Knowing h... them. There is a good chance that they'll be right in the middle of the war.” I put an end to the subject by looking down on my food and starting to eat.

“It's a crime to hide such a cute face behind a metal mask.” She teases.

“Hm.” I murmur between two bites. “Praise me more.”

“I cannot, your cheek is desperately calling for my lips.” She leans closely to my cheek to give me a sunny kiss. I feel myself blush slightly.

“Can I touch your hair?” I ask.

“Sure.” Teva angles her head and lets her red hair float towards me.

I extend my right hand to run my fingers through the soft curls.

“You're really pretty.” I tell her awkwardly.

“Thank you.” She makes a kind smile. “You look nice too, but you should try to take care of those messy hair of yours.”

“Don't have a comb.” I shrug. “I'm not really good-looking enough for it to matter.”

“You might not be ravishing...” Teva starts with a wide teasing expression. “But I find you so very ravishable.”

“Uh.” The small sound escapes me as the memory of last night springs to the forefront of my mind. “I, we can, later.” I stutter and the void in my heart starts furiously howling.

“Shush, only when you really want to.” She whispers kindly. “We can take our time.”

I hear Celyz calling the others to prepare. I put my helmet back on and stand up, somewhat surprised at the slight heat I sense in my cheeks. I hold my right hand out to her and she takes it.

I start walking back towards the others, pulling her along behind me as we rejoin the others and enjoying the feeling.

“Is she your pet now?” The one named Yan jeers in a rude manner.

“Mind yourself, bandit.” I growl at him. The helmet amplifies the distortion in my voice.

The man flinches and takes a step back. I grunt disdainfully, tightening my grip on her hand.

“Elizabeth.” She taps my shoulder with her free hand.

“Sorry, did I hurt you?” I let go and put my hand behind her back.

“Ah! No, you didn't.” Teva replies too quickly after the yelp of pain.

That was weird. I frown and try to rub her back but she pulls away.

“I hurt you. Show me.” I utter in a tight voice.

“It's really nothing.” She says in a reassuring voice.

The word makes me wince but I shake it off. I gently take hold of her shoulders and make her turn around so I can have a look at her back. I pull on her collar to glance at the area where I just touched her. I find a purple bruise on her clear skin.

“Did I do that? I ask in a shaky voice.

“Last night, in your sleep. It's okay, I know you didn't mean to.” Teva hurriedly explains, there isn't the slightest sign of a grudge on her face.

“I'm sorry.”

“You just held me closely, it's okay.” She tells me, turning around to face me. I lift my helmet up just long enough to lay a kiss on her neck. “It's all better now.” Teva says with a smile. I return the favor as best as I can.

I hesitantly hold my hand out towards hers and sigh in relief when she accepts it. I use as little strength as possible, fearing that I could break something if I'm not careful.

We depart together with the group, still heading south on the road. The thirty or so Rykz follow behind us while pulling their cart along with them.