As the carriage rolls along, I peer to the rising sun through the curtains to distract myself from the agonizing pain radiating from my heart and the anguish nestled in my guts.
I feel weaker than at my worst after losing my arm, something I never expected could even happen. The only thing that helps is focusing my mind outward, on the fact the Emperor chose to wait for our victory to announce his on the Rykz to lessen the impact of our action.
To me, it means he still supports Nobility no matter how many Nobles he arrested this night or what indirect support he granted us. Kruzser isn't safe, it never was but that statement is truer if anything now.
I feel a palpitation in my chest and tense as I worry my heart is going to stop again. The moment of danger hovers over me like a deathly shadow only to pass with a whimper.
“Hhuh.” I exhale, shivering.
“You okay there?” Leomi asks.
I gaze up to find her silvery eyes squinted in worry. I make a cocky corner smile to reassure her. Leomi squeezes me, reminding me I'm nestled within her arms and distracting me from my constant pain.
I nudge her left breast with the spine of my nose and place my ear against her chest to listen to her soothing heartbeat, finding its quickness flattering. It unfortunately doesn't last as the carriage slows to a stop, fully awakening me.
I glance to my waist, finding that my three broadswords are still there but that she unfastened my cuirass' straps. It bothers me but I know there is no escaping the fact I need healing after the ordeal Liz got us through.
Leomi rises with me in her arms as a Hospitalier opens the carriage's door. I gently push against her chest to have her put me down, which she surprisingly does without argument.
I slowly limp out to find a training field filled by hundreds of kids thrusting wooden spears in coordination under the direction of veterans. It makes me heartbroken to witness these young children training for battle, especially because it is the starkest proof that the Empire is in a constant state of war.
I spot a geezer with a long white beard watching us with both sinuous hands on the cane supporting his weight. His left eye is covered by a white cataract while his right is turbid brown and he is wearing a white garb that doesn't make him look any younger. That old thing was probably alive when Grikyz hatched.
“Honorary Duchess Lance, Dame Freepath.” The old man greets.
“I'm told you know of constructs that can strengthen the body, Director.” Leomi says as she steps down. “Would it be possible for you to examine my fiancee?” She asks, going straight to the point.
“As long as it does not go against my duty, I am to be of service.” The man calmly responds. “What is the issue?”
“I don't, believe you.” I grunt because the man's title as Director truly doesn't inspire my trust.
“Whether you do or not isn't my concern, such are the orders of my Emperor.” He responds, unfazed. Orders?
“Her heart was injured by an odd construct during a battle with Elizabeth Vil.” Leomi cuts in, surprising me because it's a clever excuse and the truth in many ways.
“Come along, then.” The Director replies as he turns towards a large building.
I limp after the man but Leomi quickly comes to my aid by wrapping her arm around my waist. My hand starts shaking the closer we get to the structure, I try to control it but I'm unable to shake the sick feeling which comes from my experience with Suxen.
We enter the long building setup as a Hospital with dozens of beds laid across. There are several Alemplars inside taking care of injured, a few of which snap to us and freeze with one who even tries to escape but fails because of his broken leg.
Many of them seem to be casualties from our battle with Roskal who thought they could hide out here. The old man relies on his cane to slowly leads us to a room in the back where lies a stone bed engraved with dozens of runes.
“Remove your armor and take a seat.” He dryly instructs.
I scowl but take my cuirass off and open my hard leather jacket, which Leomi somehow managed to untie on the way here despite the difficulty. I tighten my fist, hoping I won't have to kill because I've spent my luck for the day.
The old man shapes a scanning construct which he applies on my left shoulder, moving so slowly that doesn't even startle someone with my nerves. Leomi bites on her upper lip, clearly worried.
“What is the issue, exactly?” The Director asks.
“My heart is, being facetious, taking naps at, inopportune times.” I reply, still short of breath.
“How often has it happened?” He questions.
I peer at his face but distinguish little, his beard makes it a bit more difficult than usual but I would have noticed if he showed any surprise that would indicate he found something he shouldn't have.
“Thrice for sure, but... maybe four or, five times in the, past few months.” I reply, causing Leomi to pale. “Twice on the, way here.” I add, startling the Director to the point his white beard shakes.
“You should've died.” He states with no regard for my sensitive heart.
“Many have, thought as, much, but here I am.” I utter.
“No, you don't understand.” The old man mutters. “Your heart is on the verge of tearing itself apart, the Lake is the only thing keeping it running.”
“What?” Lance questions.
“From what I can gather, your fiancee's body burns through a little more than one portion every hour to preserve her health.” He explains. “And I am not including the consumption of the constructs she's using to heal herself, this is coming straight from her reserve.”
“Didn't, realize, I had that, much access.” I mutter, thinking that it has to be coming from people of Hetlan and northern Mirus.
“You should have retired long ago.” The Director says with a touch of disappointment to his voice.
“What can, you do?” I press.
“Not much with your body in this state.” He responds. “I can strengthen it but I have conditions to do so.”
I scowl and reach for my weapon. Lance's left hand flashes and catches my wrist before I can draw it. I keep my gaze on the suspicious old man while tensing my forearm's muscles to make it clear to my fiancee I won't restrain myself very long.
“Make your requests and I shall fulfill them.” Leomi proclaims, making a huge promise for someone of her responsibilities.
“It isn't what you appear to be thinking.” The old man says with a frown. “The construct will not solve the underlying issue but will relieve you of the symptoms for a time except it will also take a toll on your body, meaning you will die if your heart-rate climbs too high. Considering your state, this limitation will remain so long as your condition doesn't improve. My condition is that you not strain yourself for I refuse to be party to your death.”
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I almost instantly refuse because I would be unable to defend myself, his words alone throw me in a state of panic, but I can feel Leomi's injured left hand on my wrist and it makes me hesitate.
She's already experienced so much hurt, from my actions and losing so many people close to her, I don't feel justified in refusing to even try to stay alive. I shut my eyes to think but immediately reopen them because I don't feel safe.
“How long would I need to be careful?” I ask.
“For the rest of your life.” The Director replies with a flat tone. “I do not know what the issue is, all we can hope for is that strengthening your heart will be enough to keep you from death.”
“Why has this construct fallen in disuse?” Leomi questions.
“It hasn't completely, we still use it here to help future Phalangites grow up, but the main problem is that the effects must be sustained for the muscular mass to remain once adulthood is reached so the consumption of flow didn't make it worth the gain.” The old man answers.
“Teach me.” I request.
“You'll hold to my terms and stay away from the battlefield?” He asks in return.
I sigh, having hoped to trick him. This could be a plot of some kind but it wouldn't make sense as all those who aim to use me wish for me to fight rather than not. I wait for a moment to give Leomi time to say something to pressure me but she remains silent, once again overturning my expectations.
“If I.” I interrupt myself. “If we do this, then who do I become?” I ask her with a low tone to conceal the point of despair I know would make my voice shake otherwise. “I make things happen, who would I be if not for that?”
Were she to answer 'my fiancee' it may be what ends us. Leomi remains silent, inclining her head as if she is trying to understand my question. After a few moments of thought, she blinks and parts her lips.
“Whoever you wish to become, you will always be mine.” She says as a matter of course. A smile blossoms on my face but fades as soon as it appears.
“As long as it doesn't endanger my life or that of those I care for, I will restrain myself from battle.” I acquiesce to the Director with a somber expression.
Lance's fingers twitch over my wrist in surprise at my agreement. I smile as I look up to her and hide my deep anguish towards once again being powerless, at having to restrain myself in face of this cruel world. Yet, I have no choice but to do this. Continuing as we have will only result in harming those we love.
“That is... enough.” The old Director says with a sigh. “It always hurts for a warrior to set down their blades but I have heard that you at least have the mind of a Marshal, you are fortunate to still be able to contribute to our Empire.” He declares while rubbing his white beard.
I smirk at the man, amused by how much he assumes about me. He frowns in disapproval, his reaction is logical since I am dismissing his goodwill from his point of view, but doesn't take me to task on this and merely shakes his head.
“Extend your palm out and I'll teach you, it isn't very complicated if you know the basics.” The Director tells me.
I do as instructed and he shapes a strange construct in the pit of my hand that mixes a nourishing construct with one I don't recognize but is similar to a strengthening construct.
Both have very long timer segments which wrap around every other component and seem to be very weak, meant to function over a long period of time.
“So the trick is to simultaneously promote decay and growth.” I mutter under my breath.
“Oh.” The old man exclaims with an air of surprise. “You could determine this at first glance?”
“What is this?” I ask with a harsh glare, suspecting this to be an attempt at poisoning me.
“It is as it seems.” The Director says without any indication of ill intent in his eyes. “Muscles are strengthened when renewed, this construct forces a constant cycle which results in a stronger body. It is normally used in conjunction with harsh training for better effects but it isn't something you can handle.”
“Hrm.” I grunt while throwing a quick glance to my fiancee who nods in confirmation. “My thanks, then, old man.” I mumble.
“No need, all is for our great Emperor.” He responds with a wave of his wrinkled hand.
I take a deep breath and work on memorizing the construct under the Director's guidance. It takes me a few hours because it's simplicity is misleading and the slightest mistake could lead to grave injuries because it affects the body.
Breaking my forearm using a lion strike was enough of a lesson for me to decide to remain another couple hours to ensure I know exactly how to make the construct. Leomi remains by my side the entire time despite her injured left hand.
“I've other engagements today, come again tomorrow.” The Director tells us in the end.
“No need, I've had a handle on the construct for a while now.” I shake my head.
“Is there a need to risk it?” He questions with a concerned frown.
“I've no time to waste anymore, clearly.” I grunt. “But I'll not use the construct until I'm certain of my mastery of it.”
The old man nods, failing to catch that my reason is that I do not yet trust this construct which I do not yet understand. I rise to leave only to find my legs weak. I try to push myself but I grow lightheaded and begin panicking.
“Dame Freepath.” The old man intercedes as if he had already known it would happen. “I can tell that you've used constructs to enhance your capability to do battle, I will not ask from whom you acquired such knowledge but know that the cost is never worth using these else our Emperor would not have forbid them.”
His mistaken observation gives me pause. It seems the Emperor isn't so foolish as to strengthen his troops at the expense of their health. Not that it changes much.
I give the Director a slight nod while Leomi gently reaches out to support me. I reluctantly agree to her help, intending to walk by myself when able, yet find myself utterly incapable to recover.
My legs tremble with each step while my waist barely manages to support them even with Lance's arm around it. I make us stop barely a dozen meters out of the room near an Alemplar standing by an injured patient.
My weakness stuns me as I had not expected it despite plenty of warnings from many beings of different origins but I conceal my unease under a truthful concern for Leomi.
Since resting between battles wasn't enough to counteract the damage to my heart, I have no choice but to lengthen the time of rest between fights and truly focus on this construct which can reinforce my heart.
“Alemplar, would it be too much to ask you to take a look at my lover's hand?” I politely question the tall brunette as I shakily receive Leomi's help to sit down.
“Hm.” The woman replies after throwing a passing glance at my likely pale cheeks. Leomi frowns but extends her left hand out with a stiff spine. “Resist my construct.” The Alemplar gently instructs.
I attentively observe as she fits on a runic glove that projects a golden radiance out of the palm when activated. She places her hand over the deep red bandage covering Leomi's long wound.
The cloth permeated by her dried blood starts detaching itself from her flesh without resistance, surprising me. I give the Alemplar a grateful look as I've experienced the pain of having bandages ripped off plenty enough to appreciate how much suffering she spared my fiancee.
“Don't touch the ring.” Leomi warns with a tense voice as the Alemplar uncovers it.
The woman blinks but acquiesces as the bandage falls off to reveal the harrowing injury. I cut the entire side of Lance's hand myself but hadn't had the chance to truly observe it.
Her flesh was severed clean off and then the injury swiftly taken care off yet it resumes bleeding as soon as the cloth's pressure fades. I shiver and glance to my love only to find her glancing shyly to me, seemingly untouched by pain.
“Are you okay?” I gently ask her.
“I am, as long as it doesn't bother my fiancee.” She replies, giving me a blatant hint as to her requirements. “I've no need to seduce anyone else.” She adds.
“A fine lie, my love.” I reply with a slight grin, very aware of Leomi's love of others' gazes. I reach out to caress her pure white hair, allowing some of my deep-felt guilt to show on my traits. “How could a slight scar upset me when it but enhances your beauty?”
Leomi silently nods without answering my rhetorical question. She lightly rests her head on my half-shoulder without applying any weight to my body as the Alemplar works on sewing the wound to stop the bleeding.
The two of us quietly sit there in this foreign place as our nerves slowly unwind from the harrowing night of battle, neither of us willing to berate the other for risks taken and wounds received.
“There, that shall do it.” The Alemplar gently tells us after over a quarter an hour of work. “Take care to keep the wound clean and you shall heal without issue.”
“My thanks.” Leomi responds as she stands and bows.
I try to imitate her but a pain clenches at my heart when I apply strength to my legs. A tremble shakes my hand as fright takes over for a brief moment before I regain control.
I glance at my love, silently requesting her help. Lance smoothly reaches down to pick me up in her arms as if natural and gently carries me towards her vehicle with light steps.