I wake up feeling cold but rather enthusiast about the day, meeting Suxen for the last time before I launch my plan. It'll be easier to withstand the treatment now that the end goal is in my sights.
I put Tsek to work on the letter we'll send as soon as we've had lunch, deciding to meet Suxen in the abandoned house we used during the first couple weeks we were in Meiridin because we know the area and I don't want to take the risk to meet anywhere near the docks, the Palace, or in the city's richer parts.
There's the matter of the pardon and the gold I promised Ruth, a messenger can take care of that but it needs to be sent before Tsek steals the schematics but not so soon that they'll have time to get to Meiridin before I begin my assault on the institute.
The simplest solution would be to send Vikiana with those two things. It would ensure that things go smooth and get rid of a potential liability. The best part is that she will go meet up with the Templars because alone there isn't much that she can do.
That would get rid of her for half a week at a minimum, the time it takes to get to the ship and come back. With one less prisoner for Tsek to guard, I'll be able to take my time to prepare everything without worrying as much.
The afternoon goes by as uneventfully as possible, I train my forms with Vikiana without sparring to conserve stamina for the meeting with the Director tonight. Aisha spends the entire day working on her illusion construct as the scale of it is making it difficult to assemble.
We set off for the rendezvous point just before nightfall, I leave the three alone to find a messenger to deliver the letter to the institute and to prepare my usual defenses at the house.
It takes me a little less than an hour to prepare everything, this time I leave my scimitar behind a shelve in the main room and get rid of everything except a chair. I do a quick inspection of the room.
It doesn't feel like anything will go wrong, Suxen has been pushing boundaries but shown herself unwilling to cross them, likely because she's afraid to lose the chance to experiment on the 'specimen'.
I shiver at the thought of the inhuman word used to describe me, it encompasses my worst fears. Either way, Suxen could simply be waiting until I enter the institute and her control to make a move.
If she acts before the data is extracted, then so be it, I'll have to make my move as it isn't part of my primary objectives so I can't risk it all for that. The worst part is that I'll have to neutralize the Shade first if this happens.
Aisha and I would immediately fall out if I tried to make a move that makes it impossible to extract the data, either by taking the array out or killing Suxen as it is the explicit reason why she is even here.
If I think about this scenario coldly, without sentiment, then what I must do is clear: kill the Shade to safeguard my life. She knows too much and is too dangerous.
Except, beyond the question of whether I am capable to murder her in cold blood, Vikiana would not let this go so I would likely need to kill her too. And then Cecil because she would inevitably find out. And then how many others?
No, killing her isn't an option unless she truly betrays me... but even then, I don't feel like I would want to or be capable. Perhaps is she tried to murder me? I pause. Would she be capable?
I've never seen Aisha wield a weapon or kill but she likely has before in her role as a Shade, even if I discount Dalv whose throat I suspect she cut on the ship. Would she be capable of killing me, specifically? The fact that I can't really rule it out is disturbing.
I wouldn't think so because despite everything, we don't see eye to eye but there is no hatred between us, far from it. I am angry at her for many things, Idali specifically, but Aisha's words about the risks she takes by dealing with Nobility rang true.
Her mention of making a mistake with Cecil put things in context for me, especially because the young woman has shown herself somewhat erratic without the Madame's guiding hand to rely on.
The problem with the Shade isn't in assessing her emotions, it's in understanding my own. Perhaps what I feel for her isn't attraction but danger, it wouldn't be the first time I got aroused by staring death in the eye.
What if what I see in Aisha is the risk to my life, a premonition of danger, except I'm so messed up that it gets lost in the sexual tension between us. It might just be what makes her attractive to me.
I shake my head. All I'm doing is digging deeper and deeper without evidence of anything. What happens, happens, I shouldn't endlessly indulge my paranoia when all I can do is prepare myself as best as I can.
I make my way back to the group, waiting within sight of the rendezvous point with Suxen. Tsek settled with his back against a wall, watching the two prisoners whose eyes are scouring the area for the Director who could arrive early.
Oddly, Aisha is the one who looks the most stressed out of the three, she's nervously nibbling her nails. Vikiana, on the other hand, isn't nearly as tense as she'd been the last time we met Suxen.
“What's up?” I ask with deceptive calm.
“Exemplar here wants to set her foot down.” Aisha tells me with a spiteful undertone.
“Suxen need to be reigned in.” Vikiana counters flatly.
“It'll spook her if we're too protecting of Elizabeth.” Aisha replies.
“I'd like to get up on the roofs if you don't mind, Elizabeth.” Tsek cuts in. “I don't want to hear their frustratingly vague argument all over again, you'll be able to talk freely if I'm out of hearing range.”
“Okay, thanks.” I say. Why is he asking for my permission?
Tsek nods and crosses the street. He waits a while, checking the area until he's sure there's no one in sight, before scaling the wall. I take my mask out and settle it over my face before shifting my cloak's long hood over my head.
“Explain quickly while you put me in shackles.” I tell Vikiana.
“She thinks you're not strong enough to handle another session with Suxen.” Aisha spits out, apparently unable to restrain herself. Is she trying to pull at my ego's strings? “Director Suxen is working within the limits we set out for her, there is no need to force a confrontation at this late stage.”
“I'm not going to sit there and watch that... that monster butcher Jessica again.” Vikiana growls angrily. “She cut her instead of the parasite, it's suspicious. What more could she possibly learn from a human?!”
“You should have brought this up days ago, Exemplar.” The Shade gripes. “I've been trying to tell you that Suxen is inspecting the connection between the two so she's looking where she needs to, Jess...”
“Elizabeth.” I intervene firmly.
“Suxen is cutting her cut because the connection between the parasite and her is what gives Elizabeth her access to the Rykz' flow.” She explains.
“Shackles.” I repeat myself. Vikiana sighs and takes them out, starting by setting a bracer around my left wrist. “I don't think either of you is especially wrong but it might be necessary to impress on Suxen that you're in control, Shade, if only because we both need the Director to extract the data as soon as we arrive at the institute. If she thinks you're giving her some wiggle room, she will be more likely to make a move once we're inside the institute and then I'll be forced to act. If Suxen crafts a situation that makes it impossible for either of us to free me, then... then I will die pointlessly when the symbiont is told to eat me when my construct's timer runs out.”
“You really shouldn't be using that.” Aisha tells me, making a grimace on both her real and illusory face. “Use a lightning construct if you really feel you need that threat to keep me in line, but just... yeah, not that.”
She tried to sound casual about it at the end but her cheeks are cooling down, showing that it made her pale. She isn't faking being distraught, kind of makes me glad. I split my feet to help Vikiana shackle my ankles.
“You can activate them.” She tells me. I inject the golden flow I took from them in the morning into the runes.
“I don't want to say anything that'll seem like I'm on your side and make Suxen suspicious about us, she already noticed your pheromones affected me.” Aisha continues with a touch of accusation to her voice.
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“Then I will.” Vikiana declares, standing up.
“Agreed.” I speak up before Aisha can. I don't want to prolong this discussion considering we're running out of time. “Tell her that she is creating unnecessary complications and that she'll be free take me apart once we have the data.”
“No!” Both Aisha and the Exemplar exclaim at once, startling me.
“What?” I ask, frowning. The two share a glance.
“If she fails, she could guarantee she can get the data by doing just that. That'll put us in a difficult position.” Vikiana tells me.
“Worse, it would mean that you're putting yourself in a position where you have to attack the institute once inside because it's basically a promise that we're giving you over if Suxen succeeds.” Aisha explains, paling further. “We need to keep our options open, Elizabeth. If you don't think you can win, then it's best to sit still and let me get you out of there with the data. We only said we might leave you to her if she succeeds, don't go any further than that.”
I ponder for a moment. When my preparations trigger, the institute will know it's under attack but not from who so Aisha makes a point in the off-chance I decide that saving Cetyz isn't possible.
Although I'm not likely to delay until my preparations are defeated without making my move, it wouldn't be wise to block that path of retreat even if it heavily depends on a woman I don't trust.
“Alright, well, tell her that I've been growing unstable as a result of her probing and threatening suicide.” I say. “Aisha, you'll act like you disagree and you'll use that to justify why Vikiana isn't with us when we both enter the institute.”
“Okay, that works. But I'm warning you that it might not change anything Suxen does, there is a basis to what she's doing.” Aisha tells us.
“That's fine, I can handle it.” I reply.
“And what will I be doing?” Vikiana asks.
“Delivering the pardon and gold from Aisha's stashes, Tsek will lead you out of the city.” I reply.
“You're letting me go instead of keeping me as a hostage?” She questions.
“I wouldn't have given Tsek the order to kill you even if this went wrong. I doubt the threat to your life would stop Aisha if she felt it necessary to act. Releasing you means you can go back to Leomi.” I may resent my Lady, I probably always will, but I'm not so cruel as to take her mother away from her. “Pick a reason? Fact is, I only needed to keep you and the Templars out of my hair. Once I'm out of the institute with Cetyz, I won't have the leisure to keep the both of you under guard so I might as well let you go back to them.” I tell her.
Vikiana falls silent, she doesn't suggest that she could act as backup. A good choice as I wouldn't believe that she would kill humans to assist Cetyz' escape. I think she would be more likely to choose to capture her again and trade her off to the Rykz herself, no matter what she believes in this very moment.
“Heads up!” Tsek calls out in a loud whisper.
Aisha and Vikiana look around, I make sure not to raise my head so much that anyone could catch sight of my mask. Suxen and Francis are making their way down the street, escorted by the Numbers.
“No one else around?” Aisha asks Tsek.
“A few, some people spotted their group and bolted.” He replies softly. “Some suspicious shadows but that's a given in the slums. I don't think there's anyone spying on us though.”
“This wasn't the best meeting place.” Aisha comments.
“Just get this over with.” I reply sharply.
“Agreed.” Vikiana says.
The Shade nods soberly and heads out in front, following by me and then the Exemplar. Tsek whispers something that sounds like 'good luck'. As I approach, I notice that Suxen looks somewhat disheveled, her white blouse is ruffled and her runic glasses aren't perfectly folded in her front pocket.
“Tired, Director?” Aisha asks, having noticed the same as I have.
“This was quicker than expected. I had to scramble to finish analyzing what I found out last time but there's no problem, I assure you.” The Director answers in a firm voice. She's on the defensive, good.
“There better not be, Director.” The Shade adds to the pressure. “As usual, I'll allow you and two guards.”
“Francis will be joining us too.” Suxen says.
“He did not seem useful last time, his presence was... disruptive to the asset.” Aisha comments.
“That's an understatement.” The Exemplar takes an aggressive step forward as she speaks up. “Your assistant's comments were unnecessary and they unsettled the specimen.”
Even realizing that she most certainly used the word to establish a rapport with Suxen, so that the Director unconsciously sees a line between me and my two 'captors', the fact that Leomi's mother is the one who says it awakens my fear that she may truly think that way but mostly that her daughter, my Leomi, might too by some kind of blood-related association.
The Exemplar throws me a quick glance, too brief to read much into it but the simple gesture does reassure me somewhat about her opinion since one wouldn't care about a specimen enough to look at it.
“What is the matter with it?” Suxen asks.
Vikiana doesn't immediately reply, apparently choosing her words. The moment of silence seems to be hard to bear for the Director. Her fake smile cracks, revealing a glimpse of her white teeth which makes the usually perfectly tidy woman look like she's losing control of herself... like there is true madness buried skin deep beneath her facade.
“Sh, it tried to...” Vikiana starts but the Shade interrupts her.
“My asset threatened to take her own life, it was mere bravado.” Aisha says dismissively.
“It was not. Your inspections are destabilizing it, Suxen.” Vikiana counters.
“I have the facilities to keep her under in-between sessions.” The Director intervenes.
“It knows certain constructs that can kill from within and the two portions of access it has are enough for it to burst its own heart.” Vikiana insists.
“I disagree with the danger involved, my asset knows her duty...” Aisha pauses. “But the risk is too high, Director. I require that you take precautions in how you proceed, that you do no more than what is required, and that your assistant be quiet.”
“The Rykz was not as difficult as to threaten its own life when it was conscious. I suppose the process could have brought some trauma.” Suxen comments offhandedly, like she only has academical knowledge of the subject. Her cold analytical gaze locks onto my eyes. “It would be tragic to lose such a valuable specimen.”
Cetyz is alive but unconscious that's good but worrying news since Princesses don't sleep. I focus on that and the situation, grasping onto it to avoid sinking into the familiar pit of despair every time I think of Leomi's reaction to my symbiont.
“Let's go.” Aisha says. “We're a little exposed out here.”
Suxen's disturbingly emotionless eyes remain fixed on me as she makes a slight of hand to agree. Four and Francis step up to follow Aisha who leads the way while the Director moves to follow me with Six at her side.
We make it through the slums and to the house without encountering anymore than a few passersby who immediately turn into different alleys of streets when they see us. Tsek follows from a distance behind.
Aisha takes us around the block with the house a few times to make sure that there isn't anyone to see us enter it before guiding us in. Suxen gives the same usual orders to the Numbers, precisely to take my clothes off and shackle me to the chair. Four and Six seize my biceps to start dragging me.
“Leave the clothes on.” Vikiana unexpectedly intervenes. “You can remove the shirt but I see no need to take the rest off.”
“It's one little thing after the other with you.” Francis complains.
“Silence, Francis.” The Directly utters quietly. “Why, Exemplar?”
“It communicated that it felt defenseless.” Vikiana answers shortly.
“The specimen is defenseless.” Suxen notes, raising her eyebrow. “Why would clothes make a difference?”
“...” Vikiana stares, speechless. “... It just does.” She finally says, unable or unwilling to explain.
“The clothes pose too much of a hassle when I am examining it.” Suxen declares, looking to the Shade.
Aisha blinks out for a long moment, no doubt finding the conversation about as surreal as I am. Meanwhile, the Numbers force me to turn and sit down, already working on briefly unshackling me to start undressing me. It seems like Vikiana's objections are for herself as much as they are for me but I do appreciate the intent.
“It's, hem.” Aisha clears her throat, her cheeks rising in temperature. “Not necessary, is it, Suxen?”
“These considerations are a waste of my time, whether because of your, or the specimen's, ridiculous embarrassment.” Suxen turns to me. “You will not kill yourself over nudity.” She declares.
Vikiana clenches her jaw and falls silent. She keeps watching Suxen like a hawk as the Director and Francis prepare their instruments. I don't notice anything more than their usual assortment of blades and flat-headed scissors.
Aisha's gaze seems to wander in my direction too often for it to be entirely conscious. A conclusion reinforced by the fact that her illusory eyes sometimes trail behind or don't follow at all. My innumerable scars don't seem to bother her in the least.
I wouldn't want to get into a fight against her without my other sense because that ability to make it seem she's looking in one direction when she's actually staring at another would make it difficult to assess what she's aiming at and easy for her to make feints. At least not a serious fight.
Suxen's initial inspection goes almost as usual, she checks my ears, my sex, shifts my mask to check my teeth, but then she takes a small hammer out and lightly hits my knee with it.
My leg surprisingly shoots out in reaction to the shock. Suxen tests my other knee and then finally hits the back of my symbiont's elbow. My left forearm jerks up in reaction and tries to grab her but the runic shackles are too restrictive for that and she's out of reach anyway.
Francis is thankfully keeping his silence but the sound of the quill furiously running over the paper as Suxen dictates him what to write is rather unsettling, it makes me feel a bit guilty and I fail to understand why it would.