Sparrow Truman May 21th,20XX
The screams of yesterday echoed in my mind and haunted my thoughts as I finally realized the source of my guilt. It ran rampant in my brain and heart like a beast and spread havoc in its path. I felt stifled; I couldn't breathe and could only lay silently in bed as I tried to regain my usual calmness.
I fought against the urge to re-seal my memories and pushed forth. I had indulged myself for too long at this point.
The memories were still half sealed so I could only see the most prominent ones, and watch them like a very realistic movie. It was cowardly of me to do so, but I didn’t dare completely release those memories into my brain.
The expressions of The prince and Jake as they realized I’d betrayed them. The face of my older brother who was probably going mad because of my absence. A pair of unforgettable blue eyes that haunted my memories. I couldn't tell whom they belonged too, but I knew they had something to do with the missing prince.
They all hurt to remember and hurt even more to realize that it was all my fault.
Sure I could blame Rubella all I wanted for brainwashing me the first few times. But after that, it was all my own choice to keep renewing the memory seal.
One layer, five layers, ten. Most people would have stopped at three but I’d made as many as 10 layers to seal my own memory?
That meant that I was aware of what I was hiding away, I just hadn’t wanted to face the music. No, I hadn't been able too. I'd been actively running away.
Iren slithered out of my tattoo and only my stomach, looking up at me with the crystal blue eyes I now knew why I was so fond of.
As the little snake matured, its eyes took on more of a purple tinge and became less reminiscent of the face I could only somewhat remember. But it was enough to fill me with another round of agonizing guilt.
I knew the Prince and Jake were not dead. I wouldn't belive that they were dead until I saw their bodies. But that leads to the same problem of trying to track them down.
I also couldn’t go out to look for them because… what would I do if I found them? Apologize?
I scoffed at myself for even thinking of that as an option and curled back into my ball of guilt. Thinking over what options I had.
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The last person that had seen them was Ion, wasn’t it?
I had withheld that information from Rubella in my haste to get away from her and sort out my memories, but I couldn’t be more relieved that things had worked out that way. I didn’t dare hope that he had somehow squirrelled the prince and Jake away to a hiding place since he was still brainwashed but I could at least use what he had last seen as a way to track them down and help them shake off the tails of the other witches looking for them.
“Derela Sparrow? Are you okay?”
Dione’s childish voice suddenly infiltrated my ears and knocked me back into reality. She sounded worried, and now that I had some of my memories back I could recognize that.
Oaklyn’s knowledge packet had filled me with a lot of suspicion and distrust for the people around me, even though I’d longed for company. It was only now that I remembered some of my old self that I was able to realize just how much Dione cared about me. Looking back it was more like she idolized me.
Load of an idol I was.
“What is it Dione.”
She flinched at my harsh tone and I was made to feel even guiltier. I hadn’t meant to sound so harsh but old habits tended to die hard. Thankfully she seemed to be used to it by now and recovered quickly.
“Sorry for disturbing you Derela. I just wanted to check on you since you’ve been in your quarters the whole day. Was the backlash that harsh?”
I’d made the excuse that I was suffering from backlash since it was my vines that had been ripped to shreds by the explosion yesterday. But since I had cut off the connection to it, the backlash had been very minimal. It was the type of thing I could have recovered from in minutes.
Dione’s worry was valid, but I couldn’t be around her right now. I couldn’t have anyone realizing I had changed, even if it was minimal. And out of all the witches here, Dione was my biggest threat.
“I'm fine Dione. I’d be better if you would leave me alone though.”
Once again the young witch flinched at my tone, but this time it was more performative than reactive. Did she think I enjoyed seeing her fear me?
I laid back down and waved her off. I didn’t have the energy to deal with her at the moment.
“If you want to help me then go find Ion. “
Yeah, Now was no time to sit and sulk.
I needed to find out what happened to Jake and the prince.
I flipped off the bed and onto my broom, intending to head down to the basement again. There had to be some sort of clue as to where they went.
It was as I flew down that I got the idea to look at the other two fairies that had been captured. We hadn't bothered interrogating them since they were simple guard fairies but I was hoping that they would have information about a preplanned escape route.
If I could find that out and protect that route before the prince got there, then maybe I could help them escape safely back to the fairylands. Since helping them escape suddenly became a goal I found myself stopped by an equipment center to pick up two transporters. They were expensive and cost me almost all my allowance and funds from... disciplining bullies but they were worth it.
It would be good if I could find the escape route and redirect other witches from them, but it would be better yet if I could stuff these into their hands and get them to the human world.
Plan in mind and equipment in hand I headed down to the dungeons.