Elvis "Hey Admiral, I know you just went out but I can't remember the password to the Wi-Fi"

Elvis "Hey Man, You uh left a load of laundry in the dryer and mine clothes are stuck in the washer. OOOOOOOOOOOH MAMA!"

Elvis "Hey Admiral, the screen on the coffee maker says 'errrrrr' idk what happened"

Elvis "Hey Admiral, I'm locked out of the house man. I-I went to get the mail and forgot my key. Hope you get back soon"

Elvis "Hey, so good news bad news. Good news is I got one of the basement windows open. Bad news is I got stuck. Awww maaan"

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Elviis rolls a 10 on an INT check

Elvis "Hey Admiral, I just had a real great idea. I'm gonna order a pizza and tell them to deliver it to the back of the house. That way the delivery guy will see me stuck in the window and help me out. Awww yeah, a master plan man"

Elvis Nat 1's a Diplomacy roll

Elvis (Voicemail) "Hey Man, so I--I may have miscalculated the pizza guy plan. He took one look at me and thought I was a 'nothin but a hound dog' so I'm spending the night in jail"

Elvis (Voicemail) "Hey Admiral, man no one believes I'm actually Elvis. They think I'm just a really good impersonator. Oh, I did make a friend though. His name is Alejandro. Him and my other cell mates keep calling me 'El Gringo' Alejandro says it means 'Great Warrior' so hey man, that's pretty cool. Anyways I don't know how long they're going to have me locked up in here but I tell ya I may have had the whole jailhouse thing wrong. These guys are real swell"

Elvis (Voicemail) "Hey Admiral, hope everything is good man. Sorry I didn't call yesterday Alejandro and I were breaking out of prison. I'm probably gonna be on the lam for a bit. Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine man. Alejandro and I are gonna meet up with some friends of his who can help us disappear for a while. Hopefully I'll have some real good news for you soon. Take it easy man"