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Elvis Everyday
Don't Be Cruel

Don't Be Cruel

(A report from the desk of Police Inspector Roseline Baptiste)

Translated from Haitian Creole

This is a report on case #1835.

I was sent to investigate a call from the dock master regarding an unknown vessel that was seen late at night offloading two passengers. Witnesses described the passengers as follows.

Passenger #1: male, 6 feet tall, approximately mid 50's, silver hair, sunglasses, Hawaiian shirt, light colored slacks, black shoes.

Passenger #2: Male, 5'6", younger (possibly early to mid 30's), black hair, light button down shirt, dark slacks, black shoes.

Both were seen fleeing the premises and were able to evade the night watchmen. I cannot say yet who these men are or what their intentions may be. I can, however, promise this…

I will find them.

Elvis (Voicemail)

“Hey Admiral, I know it’s been a few days. Alejandro and I are in Haiti now. We just had the best food. It was some kind of chicken…I think. Hey! Alejandro! What do you think was in that recipe? Hold on…he’s writing something down. Uuuuh says chicken aaaaaaand paprika. Yeah, that's the stuff. We are gonna make for the north shore in the morning. I hope everything is goin’ well man. Oh dang I need to call the neighbor and ask them to water your plants. It's been a week and that flowerbed is probably dry as a bone.anyways Alajandro is making that face at me that says we need to move. Okay man, I’ll call again when I get the chance”

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(A report from the desk of Lieutenant Inspector Fransisco Cruz)

Translated from Spanish

Chief Inspector, thank you again for your good word at the council meeting and thank you for not mentioning my mishap at the port. Without it I fear I may not have received permission to continue this case. My first order of business is to check with the port authorities in the nearby Caribbean islands. This Elvis has evaded me thus far but his luck will run out sooner or later.

(A report from the desk of Lieutenant Inspector Fransisco Cruz)

Translated from Spanish

This Elvis is truly a criminal mastermind. I've had very little luck calling around port authorities. His one night of sin has now gone on for a week. I have one potential lead, an unidentified vessel reported a few nights ago in Port-au-Prince, Haiti. I'll head for Port-au-Prince and work with the police investigation team there. Together we will catch our man.

(A report from the desk of Police Inspector Roseline Baptiste)

Translated from Haitian Creole

I've spent the last 24 hours questioning workers at all the local clubs, convenience stores, and hotels. A few of them gave descriptions of men matching my two mysterious travelers. Unfortunately none of them could give a direction of heading. The hotel ledger had a fresh signature from "Elvis" clearly these men are playing with me. I feel like I am so close. These men are not average criminals. No, they are in a class all their own.

Elvis (Voicemail)

"Hey Man, so uh. Alejandro and me are still holding up at the hotel. I'd thought we'd be outta here by this point but our contact hasn't called back yet. Be honest, I'm not worried. I mean Alejandro doesn't seem phased. Then again he been kinda hard to read this whole time. Got a face like a man in a painting. It doesn't change, ya know? Anyways, I hope things are going well by you. See ya man.