A Long Time Ago in a Game World That’s Way Too Close for Comfort...
Cue epic music...
Elsewhere: Name of the Game
Book Two: Jaeden's Descent
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Life was smooth sailing - until it wasn’t. Just as my gaming scores were hitting an all-time high, some wannabe psycho decided to liven things up by trying to kill me and my brother. Next thing I know, we’re standing smack in the middle of a labyrinth, staring down a trickster king and a minotaur. So yeah, just a normal day.
So, there I was, regular ol’ Jaeden, cracking knuckles, ready for another round. Next thing I know? I’m up to my neck in real, fetid swamp water, no exit button to save my skin. Turns out this world isn’t just pixels and programming. It’s all too real, and the game just went hardcore.
But hey - there’s something to be said for leveling up with stakes. Like, actual life-and-death stakes. The only thing I could count on? My trusty sidekick, S.A.S.S.Y., the sentient AI with the sarcasm of a disgruntled D&D Dungeon Master. Yeah, she’s here to “help.” If “help” means dropping cryptic quips when I’m on the verge of being monster chow.
Challenge #1: The Swamp of Eternal Grossness
Did I mention the smell? Picture a locker room, but if every gym sock and sweaty jersey also had its own grave. Every step brought me closer to creatures I’d rather not imagine. Lucky for me, a Star Pendant I’d scavenged along the way was, for whatever reason, glowier than usual, lighting up the place like a gothic rave and my symbiosis was giving me resistance to swamp-born curses. I figured out fast that this wasn't just any old side-quest land; this place had plans. Good thing my enchanted sword gave me an edge.
Challenge #2: Friends, Foes, and Fellow Fugitives
You could be reading stolen content. Head to Royal Road for the genuine story.
I took on gags -I mean Hags, monstrous reptiles, and massive mosquitoes. And somewhere along the way, I bumped into Tharion Murkmire, a walking, talking, swashbuckling jack-of-all-skills and slayer of hydras. Together, we hacked our way through the bog, sharing tips on how not to die creatively and taking down creatures with way too many teeth. When we parted ways, he left me with a warning – and an upgrade to my sword. “There are things in Elsewhere even worse than a hydra,” he’d said, which was comforting right up until I saw my first demon-possessed cultist and thought, “Ah, he meant them.”
Challenge #3: Temple of the Cursed Cultists
What kind of gamer would I be if I skipped a decrepit, moss-covered temple in the middle of a swamp? Exactly. So down into the pit of horrors I went, and -yep!- greeted by hooded figures chanting and swirling around an altar, looking real serious about their blood-sacrifice party. Enter the main act: a demonic cultist, half-shadow, half-human, and all-around bad news. I’d upgraded my sword with Minotaur and Hydra essence (thank you, Fusions) and a hefty helping of Fool’s Luck - one trait I’m practically swimming in at this point - and that’s about all I had going for me. Good thing I’m not squeamish.
As I watched him raise a sacrificial dagger over some terrified civilian, S.A.S.S.Y. cut in with, “Probability of survival: 23% - optimism setting activated.” Thanks, S.A.S.S.Y., really. Not one to back down, I did the only logical thing and went full stealth mode, lunging forward and sinking my sword right into his spine, or what I guessed was his spine. His demon blood hit the air like a supercharged oil spill, leaving me drenched in enough infernal ichor to get flagged by the local exorcist club.
The Endgame...Or So I Thought
With the acolyte turned to dust and the cultists collapsing like bad Jenga towers, I thought I could breathe easy. Nope. Turns out that saving someone while you’re dripping demon goo leaves the wrong impression. I freed the girl, but she looked at me like I was the next dark lord. System message? Nothing. No sarcasm, no congratulatory banner, not even a “Well done, Jaeden.”
Now I’m left wondering if this place left a mark on me I can’t quite see yet. If Elsewhere has taught me one thing, it’s this: there’s no such thing as “just a game.” Now, with S.A.S.S.Y. on silent mode and no help on the horizon, one thing’s for sure - I’d better level up. Fast.