She scowled, her grip on the gun tensing.
“We never married. It’s Carrie. Just Carrie.”
“Carrie,” I began and then froze.
What was I supposed to say? “Sorry, we killed your daughter”? “Anna literally stabbed me in the back, and if I hadn’t taken a huge gamble she would’ve taken my or Axel’s life”? “Oh, my bad, Tam took everything Anna owned when she looted her corpse, hope there was nothing sentimental on it”?
“The longer you hesitate, the more suspicious you become,” Carrie said, the furrow in her brow deepening, her finger curling a hair's width tighter around the trigger.
This hadn’t been on my bingo card. Running into the mother of someone we’d killed wasn’t even on my radar of things to consider. I had barely come to terms with the fact that our party would likely not survive and that we were essentially fighting a losing battle. Not that I was ready to admit defeat, but it was a dire situation that seemed practically hopeless.
It very much felt like we’d never win, but we’d die trying.
So it was understandable that my mind was reeling as I wondered how to explain anything.
“You been in a Dungeon yet?” Axel asked, putting himself between me and the gun.
He was buying me time to think. I could kiss him.
The older woman cocked an eyebrow up. “I have. I walked in and out of the CBD one. Anna was supposed to do the same in this one. To stop the itch.”
“Why didn’t she go into the CBD one, like you?” Wren asked, her voice curious but quiet.
Carrie shook her head, her face subtlety softening at the girl. “Group of upstarts surrounded it, demanding payment from anyone wanting to be let in. I was lucky to slip in and out before they set up their barricades. Only reason they've not put up one here is because of me.”
Staring at her, standing there with her weapon, I had to acknowledge she was a formidable opponent.
Her gaze swept over the group. “I’d hazard a guess that you’re Just Friends?”
We nodded.
“I’ll ask again now that we’ve been properly introduced. Where’s my daughter, and what did you do to her?”
The truth would kill us.
That was an undeniable fact.
And I didn’t want to take the risk of someone in our group taking a full load of buckshot to the face.
Like some sort of Sherlock scene, the events seemed to play out before me. If either Gigi or I used [Focus], we could tank the hit and rely on [Stubborn] to survive it, I guess. Wait, no. That only worked in Dungeons. And add to that, if both of us activated [Focus] at the same time, we’d fuck things up, and without us having a suspicious exchange there was no way of relaying that information and selecting only one of us.
Sure, Axel might be able to dodge with [Swift-Footed] and, if she reacted in time, Tam might be able to transform and avoid the attack in her smaller form. But Wren and Jye were sitting ducks.
A single [Shield Wall] protecting them probably wouldn’t be enough at this range either–and with the potential spread of buckshot, Gigi and I would have to instantly set up a wide array of the shields with at least two rows to eliminate all possible hits for them and us. And, again, there was no time or way to communicate any of this to xem without us immediately getting shot up as a result. I still had [Thick Hide] up from the Dungeon clear, so my mana was currently capped too.
Axel could maybe disarm her, quick as he was, or Gigi and I could summon a [Shield Wall] near her hands, but I didn’t like the odds of Carrie not being able to fire off one shot instinctively before either of those plans could be completed.
If the entire party just straight up went full frontal assault, maybe we’d be able to come out of this alive. In fact, it would’ve been the perfect time for Nabu’s first show of aid. But since we weren’t in the Dungeons… Did that mean he didn’t care? There were no managing Deities attached to Earth, or at least Nabu had said only the Dungeons and arcs got them.
Outside of Dungeons… were we on our own?
Fan-fucking-tastic.
I repressed the depressive sigh that threatened to overcome me.
It wasn’t like anything had really changed after clearing the Dungeon and Wren getting a sponsorship. We were almost exactly where we’d been before we’d stepped into the Dungeon Challenge temple. We’d be alone all along, really.
The six of us against the world, the gods, the universe itself, even.
The six of us facing off against a woman no taller than 1.5m wielding a shotgun.
Though, as she regarded us with a steely glare, all I saw were my own mother and father looking back.
I made my decision.
Took a breath.
Then lied through my teeth.
“We stumbled into her in a fight with three other people,” I said. “She was holding up really well, but we lost sight of everyone in a smoke bomb she threw. Not knowing what was happening, we hid, and by the time the air was clear… I’m sorry, Carrie.”
Her jaw clenched. I hoped the rest of my party wouldn’t correct the inaccuracies of my story.
“Tell me how you know her last name then.”
I didn’t have to pretend to feel awful about what I was saying or about what I was doing. She’d only stepped in and out of the CBD Dungeon. The idea made my stomach churn. But more death wasn’t the answer.
Using [Channel], I borrowed [Intimidation] and felt sick as I conjured more lies. The ability choked me with its tar. It felt deserved.
“From where we were hiding, we heard them… This is going to be hard to hear… They… they bragged about killing her and they…” I swallowed. “They looted her body. But we ended up fighting them and got everything back, didn’t we, Tam?”
The cutthroat’s eyebrows shot up, but as Carrie’s barrel swung in her direction, she began pulling all of Anna’s belongings from her inventory, placing each item slowly onto the ground.
Carrie was eyeing the growing pile, her expression gradually but surely cracking. It had to be a lot to take in. But she had to have assumed the worst already, right? Anna not returning immediately meant something had gone wrong. In the back of her mind, Carrie had to have expected this fate for her daughter.
When Tam laid a single silver necklace down, the older woman shook her head.
“Enough.” Her voice cracked. “I’ve seen enough!” Swallowing her emotion, Carrie directed the shotgun back toward Axel and me.
She stared at us for a long time.
I hoped [Intimidation] to impress trustworthiness had worked.
Her upper lip twitched as she jutted her chin at us. “So, you got them, right? The ones who… You made sure they can’t do that to anyone else?”
I nodded, feeling ill.
“We didn’t know what to do, but…” Trusting that the older woman was beginning to believe my lies, that the [Intimidation] had set, I turned my back on Carrie and strode over to Tam. The mother’s eyes and weapon remained trained on me, following my movement. I whispered my instructions to the cutthroat.
Making a very unpleasant expression, Tam followed my requests. First, she placed the inventory-retrieved sheet, looted from Test Name, into my arms, and then kneeled to summon the next thing I’d asked for. The surprisingly fresh-looking corpse of the teenager appeared the next moment, laid out along the bitumen road, parallel to me so that she fell into my shadow.
I made sure to block Carrie’s view, angling myself over Anna, knowing full well how it felt to see a loved one’s face for the first time after their murder.
Gingerly, I laid the sheet over the teen, taking in for the first and last time just how young she had truly been. Probably would’ve freshly graduated high school. She would’ve been starting university next year. And we’d stolen her future.
No, I told myself.
It hadn’t been us.
It was the Deities.
Had life continued as it was, as it should’ve, I doubted Anna Dainsworth’s and my paths would’ve crossed. The fact that Tam had taken Anna’s life, that Anna had made an attempt on almost every member in Just Friends…. None of the blame should rest on us players.
These thoughts did nothing to stop the guilt.
In the end, we’d still killed her.
“What’s that? More of her things?”
Tucking the sheet tighter to her body, I then stood, lifting her up, cradling her to my chest. She was cool, even through the cloth, and though she was light, I felt as though I was carrying an impossible weight.
I turned to face Anna’s mother.
“We brought her home.”
Carrie stared for a moment, as if parsing my words, trying to find meaning in them. Step by step I approached, the cloaked figure in my arms becoming more distinct in form to her watchful scrutiny. I worried for a moment, covered as she was, that Carrie wouldn’t believe the body to be Anna’s. But as I came closer, Carrie’s gaze shook, and almost against her own control, her gun lowered. Tears began to water in her grey eyes. The same colour as eyes that would never open again.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“Oh, baby girl…”
I guess a mother always knows.
Carrie’s weapon fell from her grip, clacking to the ground, and she rushed to meet me, grabbing at Anna’s body, desperate to make contact, to hold her. She pressed her face to Anna’s veiled one, hands scrabbling to take her daughter back. I let Anna go, feeling the weight shift over. But most stayed.
The older woman’s knees buckled beneath her, causing them both to fall to the floor. Though I stepped forward to help, I froze as the air from their sudden movement fluttered the sheet up at Anna’s head to reveal her face. The material settled down around her shoulders. I was for once thankful that Tam’s death blows had always been so precise and discrete.
Had Anna’s chest been rising and falling and her skin not as pale as the sheet she was wrapped in, one might believe the girl to simply be asleep.
Carrie stared at her for a long moment. I knew she was trying to deny this was her daughter.
The older woman began to sob. It started as a single choked breath.
Softly, ever so softly, as if she were afraid the girl would break, she lifted a shaking hand to Anna’s face, hovering just over her cheek.
“You shouldn’t have gone in by yourself. I told you. We were supposed to go in together! Why do you never listen to me?”
My own throat was dry and I realised I was crying as well. Suddenly I was twelve again, my pillow drenched in tears, as I asked Chrissie similar questions. Why didn’t you stay inside the school gates? Why didn’t you tell me? I told you to always go to class as soon as the bell rings!
I took in a shaky breath, obliterated by a realisation.
I don’t know when it had happened.
But I’d become the same monster who’d taken Chrissie.
No matter how I had been justifying it to myself. No matter the words I’d been using. We’d taken Anna’s life. We’d killed her and hadn’t thought twice about it.
This wasn’t a game.
This wasn’t a show.
This wasn’t a race.
“Why… why, baby girl? Why’d you go in without me?” Carrie asked between gasps of breath, her face creased into anguish.
This was wrong.
I struggled to tear my gaze from them, blurry as it was, knowing that some part of me needed to commit this to memory, to never forget this sharp, stabbing, sickly pain, and so I was only able to check on how the others were fairing in my periphery, my concern for them winning out over my own emotional turmoil.
Wren had sought solace in Jye’s arms as the giant gently ran a hand over her hair, their hand large enough that it encompassed her full head. Gigi solemnly held xemself, arms wrapped tight around xir chest, and Tam had the decency to be looking away, her brown eyes downcast. What about…
Axel, who’d been shadowing me this whole time, nudged me with his shoulder. His head tilted, as if to ask, You okay?
Did he feel no guilt? No remorse?
It was hard to tell with him. There was an unreadable expression on his face. Surely he felt something about this? I didn’t have the emotional bandwidth to handle taking on Axel’s repressed feelings right now and so pushed those questions to the back of my mind.
Shaking my head slightly in response, I said, “I’m sorry, Carrie. This is the best we were able to do.”
She didn’t acknowledge my words, simply continued to cry, holding her daughter’s body close, rocking slightly. It was probably for the better. I don’t know if even I’d have believed what I said then.
Was it the best we were capable of?
Despite nearly losing our own lives, and taking others, I think somewhere deep inside I’d been trying to ignore the severity of it all. I hadn’t wanted to take accountability and responsibility.
I’d refused to accept what our killing meant.
It meant someone was gone forever. Someone who might be loved. Someone who might be hated.
It was someone and then it wasn’t anymore. Just as Chrissie had been.
A whole person erased from existence permanently.
No.
Not permanently.
I wiped at my tears.
The wish.
Though it had been the first thing that had occurred to me when it was mentioned, the power of it, the potential of it, suddenly shifted in my mind, spurred on by the scene unfolding in front of us. This was how we’d take responsibility for the suffering we’d inflicted, the pain we’d be putting others through.
Before, the idea of wishing everyone back to life had been just that, wishful thinking. It was unlikely Just Friends would ever be strong enough, good enough, to be that party that won. Hell, we’d try as hard as we could, but I think underneath it all, I had accepted we wouldn’t win. That us receiving the wish was a pipe dream.
But looking down at Carrie and Anna, the guilt and injustice morphed into concrete resolve. An unshatterable determination.
We would win.
We’d take responsibility.
And we’d bring everyone back.
Everyone.
We remained in vigil long enough for the sun to sink into the horizon of the cityline, staining the sky hues of red.
Eventually, Carrie’s tears dried, and she gathered herself.
Voice hoarse, she asked, “How do I…”
“You just think it, while in contact,” I hastened to answer, desperate to help.
She nodded. The older woman pressed her lips to Anna’s forehead, and then her daughter’s body was gone. Stored in Carrie’s own inventory. At least she didn’t have to carry it home in her arms. It was a small consolation.
Wiping herself off, she plucked the shotgun from the ground and stood. Though she was small-framed, as she brushed away the remnants of her tears, she looked every inch one of the strongest people I’d ever seen. Carrie breathed in deep and then exhaled. I remembered the same expression on my parents’ faces.
It was the resigned look that said the world kept turning, even in the throes of tragedy.
Carrie’s grey gaze met mine.
“I suppose I should thank you.” I opened my mouth to reject whatever thanks she would give, but she continued with, “But words mean nothing. Come. I’ll bring you back to meet the rest of the squad. There was talk of a barbie when I left for this watch.”
It would be wholly immoral for us to accept any gratitude for what we’d actually done. I never wanted to lie to, manipulate, or take advantage of this grieving woman ever again. Unfortunately I wasn’t quick enough to protest as Axel slid in before I could say anything.
“We’d really appreciate that. Haven't had cooked food since we entered the Dungeon.”
“A barbie would hit the spot,” Tam said, running a hand over her chin.
“You guys got lamb?” Jye asked.
Reluctantly, Carrie admitted, “Mostly roo.”
Jye shrugged, patting their abs concernedly. “Protein’s protein.”
“It might be nice,” Wren added, looking over at me sheepishly.
Gigi’s almost non-existent brows furrowed. “I do not think my understanding of Barbie is correct in this context.”
Controlling my expression, wondering how the others felt okay with this turn of events, I let out a sigh. They’d all rolled with my story, none of them disagreeing. Presumably they’d thought it was the best course of action. I didn’t know about that. Surely if it’d been the right thing, I wouldn’t feel as nauseous as I did.
Worse yet, I was unable to think of a reason for refusing that didn't make us sound guilty or suspicious. And the less lies I told, the easier it would be to maintain them.
I nodded.
“Lead the way.”
After quickly discussing a walking order, with Axel and Tam at the back, Tam to keep watch on the any small details, and Axel to run forward and warn us if anything approached from behind, we followed Carrie a couple of blocks.
The walk gave me some much needed time to let my emotions settle. I knew I should’ve spent the time looking over the newly introduced Nexus or the Deity Commentary, but I was barely able to focus on anything other than working through my thoughts about Anna and Carrie and the nameless members of Test Name who we also owed accountability.
Eventually, we arrived out front of a Tentworld with a guard standing alert, well, at least metaphorically. As far as bases went, one could do worse than a camping supplies store. In fact, other than a hardware store like Bunnings, Tentworld might very well be one of the better options; everything you’d need to survive off the grid, all in one handy location. I was kicking myself, having not thought of it. And given that I hadn’t meant that the average layman wouldn’t either, protecting them from any errant would-be looters.
I took back my initial judgement.
Tentworld might very well be the best emergency apocalypse base.
Upon sighting us, the watchman out the front of the store perked up, sitting ramrod straight in their camo camping chair, hand held to a small object at their chest. Their gaze was pinned to us as we came closer and closer. Carrie waved, but it did nothing to relax them.
They appeared to be in their late twenties. With dark eyes, a slightly crooked nose that spoke of at least one break, and a short black mullet, I wondered why something about them seemed familiar. Nothing was coming to mind, but aesthetically, I guess they were the type of person some would consider runway ready; tall, lean, and with striking features. Maybe I’d seen them in a local advertisement or something.
Pursing brown lips, the lookout whistled when we were finally in speaking distance. “If my eyes don't deceive me, Ms. Underwood, none of the six people you’ve brought back are your daughter.”
Carrie's left eye twitched. “We'll talk about that later, Galbraith. For now, these guys are my guests.”
At that, the watchmen arched a perfect brow but lowered their hand. Their movement revealed that pinned to the fishing vest they wore was an electronic rape whistle. That for certain would alert anyone within the vicinity; a decent alarm system when there wasn't any electricity to run a standard security set up. To put it plainly, the more I saw, the more impressed I was with Carrie’s base and planning.
The lookout said, “Bit out of character for you, but I can live with a little improv now and then.” He paused, brow crinkling, and then asked, “If I were to say one, two, buckle my shoe, you’d reply?”
“Red fish, blue fish.” She scowled. “And I’d also say that I thought I told you to stop pretending you know me, boy.”
I forced myself not to frown. It was obvious the bizarre call and response was to check something. Was it to find out if she was being forced to bring us in? It was a crazily thorough system they’d developed. I don’t even know if I’d would’ve considered half of what they had. Though I had the excuse of nearly dying twice.
Their conversation did give me pause. Galbraith was around the same age as Axel and I, give or take a few years. We were closer to twice her daughter’s age than not. That Carrie called him “boy” felt a little ridiculous, bordering on insulting. And taking in consideration she'd asked us to call her Carrie also cast their back-and-forth in a different light.
I honestly couldn't tell if they were friends or if they hated each other and what that meant for us in the long run.
But none of that stifled the respect I had for both Galbraith and Carrie’s squad and their planning. It was remarkably meticulous and I wistfully wished my own party would work together so well despite our own twisted webs. In the back of my mind, I also started considering how we might invite them to Just Friends or if we even could, though I was beginning to have hesitations about adding more people, considering the new average we’d have to meet.
That said, based on everything I’d seen, they’d be fantastic additions. But the weight of my lie to Carrie made the idea distasteful. I’d also be liable to slip up eventually. And that wasn’t something we could risk outside of the Dungeons, not right now.
So, maybe just Galbraith then?
We’d only just met, but he seemed like a reasonable dude, and honestly out of the current people I was travelling with, he would probably be a welcome respite of normality. It’d depend on his class and abilities if I extended an invite. (And if we could even expand our party anyway.)
But those decisions and ideas would have to be considered much later. Fuelled by how organised the Tentworld situation had been, I was making plans that I couldn’t cash or even think about cashing anytime soon. I pushed them to the backburner in my head.
Galbraith grinned in response to Carrie’s words. “There's the Ms. Underwood I know and love.” His gaze wandered over our party, following the file we'd walked in, and then his mouth fell open so wide I was surprised his jaw didn’t hit the floor.
“No fucking way. Zeke? Is that really you?”
The mulleted man stood from his chair, surprised delight clearly written on all over his face, warming his eyes. Stunned, we all stiffly turned, not too dissimilar to the mechanical rotating heads of arcade-game clowns, to stare at the person he was addressing.
“Not dead yet, Killian?” Axel smiled, stepping forward to fall in line with me and Carrie at the front of our party.
“They'd have to take me kicking and screaming. You know me, baby.”
Glancing between Axel and him, I decided I wouldn’t be inviting Killian Galbraith to our party.