In our semi-circle, we leaned over the notebook. Even if the Deities had been watching, all they’d see would be our heads and shoulders, like a terrible view in the cinemas. I didn’t want Adrien’s sponsor giving him any heads-up. I assumed there were certain rules in place, similar to the Mod’s, in communication between sponsor and player, but neither Tam nor Gigi had explained, so this was the best I could think of.
Grabbing the green pen, Jye wrote, And then when he least expects it–BLAM–we kill the dude. They struck a closed fist into their palm. “Do we have to work with Mr. Killjoy, though?” they asked aloud so it appeared we were having a real conversation if Adrien were actually eavesdropping
In red, Tam added, Hows about we dance along to his fiddle and then wipe him out with the monsters? Her callousness was like second nature, belied only by the beautiful cursive she wrote in. Make the whole thing a turn of the tables, so to speak.
She said, “Well, sasquatch, that’s what we’re discussing, ain’t it?”
We could trap him in the snow, Wren suggested in unpracticed purple, and I was sure this was Makris speaking through her. It seemed a little too similar to how her previous party had treated her for it to be her own idea. The girl added nothing spoken, opting to remain silent.
I pinched the bridge of my nose but found myself not disagreeing with any of their ideas, just disliking how tasteless they were. Betrayal seemed beneath us. But it wasn’t as though Adrien deserved any loyalty from us. He was using us. We could use him in turn. And this kind of thing was quite the common tactic. Plus, it might intrigue the Deities. I cast a glance around, aware they would be watching us right now. There was no one else for them to tune into.
Quickly I checked to see if Deity Commentary was available, but nothing came up. To my disappointment, I realised it must just be the log we could access after the fact. Reading it in real-time had to be some other kind of purchase or unlockable. A trait, probably. At the very least, I’d tried to save some credits to check our performance once we cleared this Dungeon.
It was the first time I didn’t check myself on that thought.
We would clear it.
“Come on, it’s not like we have any other option. He’s forcing our hand,” Axel said. He wrote in blue, We could take him on right now. His expression was colder than the air around us. None of the others were taking this forced offer of partnership well.
Neither was I.
Unfortunately, I did have to point out the issue with Axel’s suggestion. Underneath his sentence, my black penned response said: There’s no way of knowing what abilities are currently in effect around us.
I thought back to Ira and their head wound and their ability that had found Tam out. Maybe we should’ve… No. I couldn’t start thinking like that. I couldn’t let myself. Despite the fact they’d been complicit in the murder of each and every person in the Dungeon, we weren’t judge, jury, and executioner. I wouldn’t delude myself into thinking I was righteousness incarnate.
“He does seem quite familiar with the environment,” Gigi chimed in.
I believe I should mention, though they are not native to my homeworld, I know of these monsters. They exist as four separate niches: hatchlings and their guardians, a scout, and the horde, Gigi’s orange script explained, xir writing immaculate, as if printed. We waited for xem to finish. And Adrien speaks true about their reproduction. Given enough resources, they will continue to spawn more.
Can you tell us anything else about them? I scribbled down. “He does seem to know a lot.”
If Adrien is telling the truth about the creatures' nest holding the challenge, it will be no mean feat to approach it. The guardians protect their young fiercely.
Well, no part of me had ever expected this to be easy, so this was par for the course.
Aloud, to keep our audible discussion flowing, Tam said, “I loathe to admit it, but our chances if we say no aren’t exactly pretty. Tall, dark, and annoying doesn’t seem like he’d even let us sneeze in the direction of the clear anyway.” I gave her an appreciative head nod for her reticent summary, and she huffed, unimpressed with my acknowledgement.
“Add to the whole shebang, the monsters are a complete unknown to us,” Jye replied, flicking me a thumbs-up. I couldn’t help but smile at the audacious lie, considering what Gigi had just written.
Was there a Dungeon like this one in your Event? I asked Gigi on paper, suddenly hit with an idea. The first page was full so I flipped to an empty one. “And there’s a lot of those beasts out there. Who knows how many.”
Xe nodded, xir right hand penning quickly. I’ve seen a very similar Dungeon, but this one is more extreme.
Who was the Deity?
Bia. The personification of force. I recall her sponsored player got fairly far in my Event.
Well, I didn’t like that. Adrien hadn’t said who’d sponsored him, but he would’ve received the title for this Dungeon when he had first entered. I couldn’t recall what it was. Wonderful? Wonderment? It definitely had the word “wonder” in it. If a title was themed around a Deity’s domain, like Nabu’s had been, could it be something like Wonder Force? No, that didn’t sound right.
Still, I didn’t know anything about Bia… Nabu had several minor domains under his belt, while it sounded like Bia had a singular major one. The title granted to Adrien might be more complex or abstract than we could anticipate because of that.
“We know the monsters are scary,” Wren said, shivering despite the thermal blanket about her.
“Which means we should accept his help,” I replied, and my concern for Wren made the sentence sound a little too genuine, even to my ears.
I turned to the others, tapping Bia’s name in the book, jotting down, Any of you familiar with her?
Tam gave me a disgusted look, and I recalled her opinion on mythology. Jye’s brows were knotted in thought. Given their knowledge of Absalom and Ariadne’s string, perhaps the name might ring a bell. The giant was something of a strange repository of information, from anime to gods. I was grateful to have them by our side. Though it did make me wonder where they’d found the time to learn all this.
Pleased with our attention, Jye wrangled the book from the center, beginning in their green, There’s not a tonne in the books about her, really. But people draw sick fanart sometimes. The only actual story she’s featured in is Prometheus’s.
Really? I asked, confused. I followed this up with, You sure? To fill the empty air, I inquired, “Does anyone disagree?”
Come on, dude, this is me you’re asking. They paused, and I guess they must’ve seen the party’s hesitancy, because they continued their green message with: ‘Course I’m sure. Bia’s the one who chains up old mate for the eagle’s endless liver buffet.
Axel spun the notebook toward himself, the movement sharp with judgement. In blue, he wrote, Wasn’t that Kratos?
“How are we to trust Adrien, though?” Gigi asked.
Tugging the paper to herself, angrily, Tam scrawled, See this? This is erasure of women in history. She shook her head. Strong independent woman and she’s forgotten, her accomplishments passed on to others. Happens too often.
Irritated, I centered the book on the floor equally again between all of us, penning my thoughts without thinking, It’s a little degrading to compare someone like Rosalind Franklin to a mythological figure. She scowled at me. Worried I was pushing her good humor too far, hastily, I continued, Not that I disagree it happens much more than we think. But can we try to stay on topic? I underlined Bia’s name a few times to punctuate my meaning.
Jye leaned forward. Their green read: It really blows about Zelda. This was written with a sigh.
“He did save our lives,” I said in response to Gigi’s inquiry, utterly baffled by Jye’s words. With the way the spoken conversation was leaning, it was sounding a lot like I was siding with Adrien. I hoped everyone knew I didn’t actually want to work with him. Historically, I knew that might be difficult to believe, but it was true!
Zelda, the… princess from the games? Wren scrawled, brow furrowed, in response to the redhead. I didn’t allow myself to dwell on it, but that Wren knew of the Zelda franchise was surprising, though I guess she might’ve been the right age to have enjoyed watching a parent play Breath of the Wild. Makris didn’t strike me as the type of guy to enjoy the more stylised production design that Zelda games utilized, so this had to be her. Just what memories did she really have access to and what had Markis sealed away?
Shaking their head, Jye wrote, Zelda Fitzgerald. Scott’s wife.
“He also coincidentally has put our backs into a corner,” Axel said. Looking incredibly skeptical, Axel asked in blue, The Great Gatsby’s Scott?
With an excited nod, Jye penned, Yeah. He stole some of the book from his wife, Zelda.
“Trust ain’t essential to working together. I mean, I don’t trust him as far as I could throw him,” Tam commented out loud but wrote, I do recall squizzin’ that too. Plucked lines right out of her diary.
“That’s horrible,” I remarked, the written and spoken conversation blurring. I clarified, But completely off tangent. Could we return to the subject at hand: Bia?
The cutthroat huffed. “Ain’t that just typical of you, babes.”
Not liking what she was implying regarding my feeling toward trusting others, I began, Tam, for the love of G– I stopped, thought, then scribbled over it, –everything good in this world, please let this go.
“Let’s not make this personal,” I said.
Looking like she was eating a lemon, the cutthroat wrote in red: Fine then, dandelion. What about this Bia?
Surprised she’d relented, I responded, She sounds like a formidable Deity. And, based on what Nabu said, the entertainment of these Dungeon’s bolsters their belief. It’s possible Bia’s completely pissed off by the fact Adrien’s still in here ruining it.
“I agree Lee’s a little naive,” Axel said.
I blanched. “I’m not naive.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
Tam snorted loudly in amused disagreement.
We need not fear their emotions. Deities can not directly interfere or communicate with players, Gigi responded, xir penning gravely perfect. They may only make requests. Even sponsors cannot interact beyond a certain point.
“I’m not naive!”
Gig’s words disappointed me to an extent. I guess that would rule out me attempting to converse with Absalom before considering his sponsorship. He’d slipped a few more invites to me during our days at the base, usually while I was alone, and given how persistent he had been, I was sure he’d be sending additional invitations in the future. I just wanted to get to the bottom of why he so desired to sponsor me. Not that I was genuinely thinking about accepting it, but the more information the better.
A silence hovered between the party.
How do sponsors communicate? Wren inquired.
It was a good question, and I was annoyed with myself for not asking it earlier. It’d been buzzing at the back of my mind but had never come to the forefront enough for me to voice. Part of the reason I’d never entertained it was because Tam and Gigi were both reluctant to share things. It was hard to know what I could inquire about.
For once I didn’t care whether the person who’d asked this time was Makris or Wren. The answer was the only important thing.
“Just because I want to see the good in others doesn’t mean I’m naive,” I said, defensively. This spoken conversation no longer seemed to be about Adrien, unless everyone was taking me for my superficial words.
I can only speak from my own experiences, but typically it is similar to penning a letter; written back and forth through the system. However, stronger Deities can temporarily summon their player to their Realm for a conversation in the flesh, xe wrote. So long as the administering Dungeon Deity agrees.
I glanced over to read Tam’s expression for any change in it, but as usual she was giving nothing away for free. I repressed a sigh, disappointed at myself for expecting anything from her.
“You see the good when there isn’t any,” Axel said, crossing his arms over his chest.
I blinked, taken aback by his words.
This definitely wasn’t about Adrien anymore. This comment was all Axel, the secret he held, that he wouldn’t unburden.
This double conversation was beginning to do my head in.
I focused on the half that I could actually think properly about.
So Deities needed the Mod’s permission to meet their player. I wondered if Tam had ever been summoned before Mumma. She sounded like a strong Deity based on how Nabu had been acting toward the cutthroat. It’d explain why they had such a strong connection. No doubt Gigi had also met Apophis back during xir Event, if xir words about matching his desires meant what we’d all taken it to mean. How often had the god summoned Gigi to his side? How much belief did he actually hold? Well, since he'd been banned from the Dungeons, I guess that meant we'd never know.
“Fine, then! We help Adrien, give him the clear, but stay wary?” I said and summarised in black, So, we’re out of luck trying to get an understanding of Bia, as well as Adrien’s skillset. Turning to a new page, I wrote, But we all agree that the second we get the chance, our partnership with Adrien is dissolved?
Everyone nodded and muttered their agreements.
I wrote one more thing and met Tam’s eyes. After a moment, she nodded. Say what you will about her being selfish, but when push came to shove, she did have our backs. Somehow.
As I stood, I clapped the book closed. “Okay, meeting adjourned.”
The others all made it to their feet too. After retrieving the pens and putting them and the notebook back into my inventory, I cupped my hands around my mouth and called out to Adrien, “We’re done!”
His silhouette down the ice tunnel shifted, and he turned to face us, approaching with a vapid smile. It made an uncomfortable shiver travel down my spine. Yes, there was something not quite right about him. It went beyond his amicable hostility. I didn’t know exactly what it was, but I was relieved everyone felt similarly about him.
“We’ll do it. We’ll help you clear the Dungeon.”
His expression brightened. “Oh, fantastic. I was so hoping you’d say that. I’ve everything planned out. I really just need more bodies on the ground.” I was not a fan of his wording. “I’ll explain on the way tomorrow. Until then, I have things to set in motion.” His dark eyes flicked between all of us, calculating. “I assume you’ll be fine in here by yourselves tonight?”
“Yeah, right as rain,” I replied.
“Lovely. I’ll be back in”—he glanced at his watch—“around ten hours to get things moving. Get some rest. You’ll need it. And, oh, just to triple check…” Adrien’s finger pointed to each of us as he began listing off information: “Wren, support; Tam, crit damage; Axel, melee damage; Gigi, tank; Jye, ranged damage…” His considering gaze fell to me, lips pursed in thought. “Hmm. I don’t mean to be insulting, but you appear to be a token figurehead. Do you play any role?”
Goosebumps formed on my arms. I hadn’t thought we’d telegraphed our party composition so obviously. Hell, all he’d seen of us was us running for our lives. Were we that transparent? No. This was more than observation. Killian had completely undersold his brother. This man wasn’t just an academic. He was outright Machiavellian.
With a dry smile, I shook my head. “No, I’m just here as a mouthpiece.”
“I see,” Adrien said. “Well then, I must be off. Should you leave here, you will get lost. I’ll fetch you in the morning.”
With that, the man strutted away. Should we get Jye to pursue him under [Cloak]? No… They’d likely lose their way. There’d been far too many sharp turns in the tunnel network. Fucking Adrien and his planning.
I heard one more ability sound off, but this time I knew it’d been Tam, using [Track] as I’d asked so we’d get an idea of where he was in regards to us. She really was trying to do her bit these days. It was very suspicious. I considered making Tam follow him, but if Adrien was confident he could kill all six of us, then Tam wouldn’t pose a single threat alone if he noticed her.
The party watched Adrien until his back disappeared completely. No other abilities activated, but that didn’t mean Adrien’s current ones were no longer in effect. They could still be hovering about. Thus, we couldn’t discuss when or how to deal with him, not that we’d be able to without more information anyway.
There was nothing we could really do now except call it a night.
“At least he has a plan,” I said into the silence.
“Yeah, to get us murked,” Axel replied, petulantly.
I frowned, thinking back to the audible discussion we’d held over our written one. “Just to set things straight, I am not naive.”
“You are,” he stated. A glimpse of that sadness flashed through him, darkening his eyes. I wondered for a moment why it was only ever me who triggered these states but couldn’t fathom any answer so I pushed the thought away. It’d been awhile since I’d had to add something to the “Worrisome Axel Behaviour” partition of my mind. Well, additional unrelated things.
Wait.
No, maybe it was connected. Way back when in the gym, he’d said he used to be cruel to me for my own good.
Had he been… trying to give me a thicker skin?
No. There was no way.
Right…?
Regardless, I couldn’t sit still while that sorrow reared its ugly head.
I did it without thinking, without a thought: in an attempt to temper the emotion, to center him, I reached out and took his hand. I glanced down, as taken off guard with my action as he was. His mood immediately shifted, a shadow deepening in him at first, but then the corners of his eyes crinkled with a pleased smile. It made me feel better too, the warmth increasing in his hold despite the layers between us. Certainly this was easier and more pleasant than wheedling him for an explanation or trying to change the topic of conversation. I just had to trust that eventually he’d tell me what this all was. He knew I wanted to know. Whatever it was, I’d wait.
Maybe I was naive.
To the others, I said, “I guess it’s camp and cocoa time.”
There was a buzz of excitement from them sans Tam, whose gaze was glued to Axel’s and my hands. She raised her slit eyebrow in quiet question. The cutthroat hadn’t commented on our closeness lately, too preoccupied with her own training with Gigi. She’d also taken on an exercise regimen from Jye, but I felt like she didn’t need it. The woman was incredibly toned. Just what had her job been before the Event?
Axel reluctantly released my hand, either ignoring Tam or not noticing her glare, and started pulling our tent from his inventory. It was one Jye had gotten from Bunnings, and the two of us fit comfortably.
I shrugged back at Tam, because I hadn’t given my answer, not truly, not properly, despite Axel and I sharing my bed to sleep. He knew I hadn’t either, that I was still working my way toward understanding it myself. In that, he was being uncharacteristically patient and understanding, but maybe that’s what love did to people. It still seemed unbelievable he felt that way for me.
Tam looked like she wanted to rib me for a moment, and I was preparing to take whatever it was she was about to heckle, but instead her expression softened. It was a completely unfamiliar look on her face. It made her features, usually permanently sharpened into antipathy, earnest, on the precipice of caring. Before I was able to process what I was seeing and react, she said, “Life’s short, Lee.”
Dumb, I couldn’t respond. Why was Tam—
Under her breath, looking a little annoyed, she muttered to herself, “Bleh, this kind of stuff was always more her forte.” Though her expression was sour, her tone was all affection and warmth. There was only one person who came to mind who Tam could be referring to.
She was talking about her wife.
“I—” I stammered to reply, but she turned away.
Then she started setting up her tent, pulling the separate pieces from her inventory, followed by the paper manual, as if we’d never had our exchange. The iota of fondness I’d seen faded into intense attentiveness to the task at hand, the moment gone. Wren walked over to assist her since we’d agreed sharing would be better in this climate. Jye had reluctantly consented to cohabitating with Gigi. Considering how much preference the two of them had for sleeping alone, I had been worried neither of them would be able to sleep, but they’d waved away my concerns.
After a moment, still reeling from Tam’s voluntary mention of her wife, I realised it was the first time she’d used my name.
Chewing on her advice, I wondered if Tam perhaps saw herself and her wife in me and Axel. Like some sort of distorted reflection. If so, I hoped she saw herself in Axel… But maybe that’s why she heckled us. The thought was strangely moving and gave me a bit of a further glimpse into Tam as a person. I’d noticed she had changed lately. She was still her snippy self, but she felt more rational, understanding. I’d thought it was some sort of ploy to wiggle her way onto our good side, but maybe… maybe Tam was actually just trying to get along with us in her own way.
Huh.
I went to help Axel with our tent and her first short succinct sentence echoed endlessly in my head. “Life’s short.” She wasn’t wrong. Especially now. The tutorial termination was a possibility. And then there was the culling on top of that. Our lives were the playthings of fate.
I wanted to win the Event and attain the wish, but that didn’t mean it was a done thing. Wants and desires were nothing in the face of reality.
If Adrien was just one example of others on the same path we trod, it meant our likelihood of achieving the wish was low.
Life was short.
I handed Axel one of the tent poles, and he accepted it, building the frame. Watching him, his concentration fixed entirely on the construction, a crinkle of focus along the bridge of his nose, I still struggled to understand how I felt about him. I’d loved him as a kid, I was sure. And what emotions I held when looking at him like this… they weren’t the same. Granted, both he and I were different people now, so maybe it should feel different.
His gaze caught mine, and, though his mouth was masked in fabric, I could tell he smiled. A content warmth drizzled over me. Well. My feelings about that seemed obvious enough.
“You admiring me is very flattering, but we’re not making any headway,” he remarked.
“I like it when you smile,” I said, the words leaving my mouth unfiltered.
Axel dropped the tent pole he was holding, a redness spreading into the partial open expanse of his face that the balaclava revealed. A rush of giddiness hit me from his reaction, tendrilling out from my chest. I really did get too much of a kick out of his being embarrassed. Maybe it was because others rarely caused the expression on him. That pinkness, that reaction, was something only I could make happen.
He stared, breath fogging the air between us.
I plucked the tent pole on the ground and handed it back over to him, unsure where I was going with this, Tam’s words having provided some sort of impetus but for what I didn’t know.
“And that means…?” he asked as he grabbed it, trying to unravel the cryptic words.
I didn’t relinquish the pole, both of us still sharing the weight of it.
It took me a moment to reply. “I think I’d like to make you smile more.”
More than that, I wanted to see different expressions on him, to elicit them. See more that only I could. But what that meant I didn’t know either, so I kept that to myself.
Axel blinked, parsing this information, the blush on his cheeks pinkening deeper. Then he chuckled a little; a glittery sound to me. He tilted his head, eyes dancing with amusement. He said, “I have been told it is a pretty nice smile.”
Beneath the fabric covering his face, he had to have had a shit-eating grin. Even though the expression reminded me of the time between our closeness, I didn’t hate it anymore. So long as it wasn’t his unspoken grief, any smile of his was preferable.
My mind replayed Axel’s words upon kissing my hand. Certainly I felt a reflection of that; his happiness influenced my own. However, I didn’t know if I could admit that without it having the same connotations as his confession had. His smile did make me feel a certain way. It was an expression that made everything easier.
I took a breath.
“My world is a dimmer place without it.” Having put to words what I thought about and felt for him, I released the tent pole and stepped back, retreating, horrified. “Looks like you’ve got this. I’ll try and get a campfire going.”
After a second, he nodded, still flushed, his intense gaze lingering on me for a moment before returning to the tent. I thought maybe I saw absolute confusion flash in his eyes, but I wasn’t sure.
What I’d said wasn’t much, but I knew that it was how I felt.
Yes, Tam was right.
Life is short. But it’s also the longest thing you’ll ever experience.