In an awkward silence, Jye had helped me as we set up a makeshift med bay for Axel and Wren. We’d barely spoken since I’d lashed out at them during the chaos. It burdened my conscience, but as we worked I couldn’t find the words to apologise or explain my reaction. It had been ugly directionless anger that had turned Jye into collateral. I’d have to address it later, unfortunately. I simply didn’t have the mental bandwidth to get into it now.

When I’d examined Axel’s wound, it had healed over. The scarring was ugly, jagged and raised, but definitely closed. I was worried about any internal damage that he had suffered, but there’d be no way to check that. Hopefully whatever passive healing we had would fix that. It was worrying how much empty faith I was putting in things lately.

Wren slept well. Axel and I took turns in guarding the resting part of the group. Though I doubt either of us got much sleep. The events of the past day seemed to replay in my mind without pause. Axel had almost died. I’d almost killed him. Just to save a fucking cat. Chrissie shouldn’t affect me so much anymore.

Why was I so weak?

Trying to distract myself from my thoughts, I summoned the status window and was pouring over the different windows we could access. It seemed like every time something new happened another screen would appear. But it also appeared as though the windows reacted to our understanding of events. Maybe if I spent time studying them and thinking about it any way I could, I’d be able to learn more about it. It was better than dwelling on my guilt, at the very least.

It was while doing this that I realised Wren’s class had changed.

She was no longer listed as a Scourge in our party list, but was instead a Synergist. It explained her ability to heal. But how had she swapped classes? Did she have some sort of trait that let her lie about her class? An ability? If she did have that ability, what good would it do? Unless… Perhaps she was anticipating future opponents who would read one’s status windows? It wasn’t too far-fetched, especially in RPGs. Was Wren truly thinking that far ahead? It wouldn’t have been surprising from Axel, since he seemed so switched on, but from a young girl… She had to be hiding more than just her ability to supposedly change classes. Especially with the sudden change in her vernacular.

The system we all were supposedly in seemed less than perfect. Jye’s stats were bugged, Wren might have access to two classes. If this was just two out of the four of us, that meant it was possible 50 percent of humanity on Earth had just as messed up statuses. I could imagine the Steam reviews now. Overwhelming negative. One of my friends loaded in and couldn’t read their own status screen! Completely unbalanced character creation randomizer. No tutorial. No explanation for how to even win the game. 0/10. IGN would probably still have given it four stars.

“Your sister is gone, huh?” Jye said.

The voice startled me as I had thought they were asleep. It was my turn on watch, to check on Wren and Axel as they recovered. But sleeping right now felt impossible for me and it must’ve been the case for Jye too. We were in a strange place, with strange people doing strange things. There was no way sleep would easily come.

“Yeah. Her name was Chris.” I smiled, remembering her cute scowl. “She hated that it was so boyish. Demanded we call her Chrissie.”

They rolled to their side, propping their head up on a bent arm. “Did she… pass away when the Gates appeared?”

I shook my head. “No, it was ages ago now. She was about the same age as Wren, actually.” I paused, ready to defend myself against an attack on my lapse of judgement, but it seemed none was forthcoming. Still feeling a need to justify my actions, I said, “It’s not the only reason I asked Wren to join our party, but it’s a big one.”

Jye was silent as they took it in. Usually Jye was easy to read, wearing their heart on their sleeve even if they didn’t speak that much. Had I met them in my day-to-day life, I probably would’ve classified them as the golden retriever type. Head empty, but positive vibes and energy. That’s if you weren’t Axel, at least.

“I had five siblings. Three brothers, two sisters. About a year difference between each one of us,” they said, green eyes unfocused.

“Had?”

“Like I said, I’m no contact with my family. I have no idea what they’re doing, and they have no idea what I’m doing. It’s better that way.” They sighed, deep and long. Their expression was complicated, too many different emotions layered onto each other. “If for a moment I thought any one of them cared about me the same way you do about your sister, I probably would’ve stayed. Even despite everything.”

This was more I’d heard from Jye talk about themself the entire time I’d known them. It helped me stop thinking about Axel’s shallow breathing, and Wren’s unconscious body, both of which were my fault. “You moved out pretty young then?”

Jye’s top lip curled. “Wasn’t really a choice. My parents didn’t really understand who I was. Were scared about what I was. But that’s life, you know? Sometimes you win, and sometimes you lose.”

I was silent for a moment, letting the thoughts settle. In this day and age, how did people have kids and then treat them so poorly? It shocked and appalled me.

“They kicked you out?”

They sat up, and pulled their knees in close, hugging them to their chest. Jye’s voice was muffled through their legs. “Sometimes they pretended I wasn’t there at all. Sometimes everything bad was my fault. I could deal with that, but I think the worst was when they acted like I was a stranger.”

Jesus christ. Jesus fucking christ. The worst I was expecting was their parents abandoning them. But this… This was just child abuse. Child neglect. Call it what you want, it was wrong. Why hadn’t anyone reported their parents? When Axel had come out, our parents had thrown him a party, where unbeknownst to them Axel had lost his V plates. The stark contrast between the parenting styles was enough to give me whiplash.

“I’m sorry. No one deserves to be treated like that.”

“I know. Well, I know that now. It took awhile to get there, but I know who I am and I know there’s nothing wrong with that.” They hesitated, and closed their eyes. “But sometimes I think about them, you know?”

“Your parents?”

“My siblings. We were close once. When I was forced out, they avoided me, followed suit with my parents.” They breathed in and opened their eyes, staring into my soul. “Do you think they cared about me at all? Because I left them all there, and I never looked back.”

How did someone answer a question like this? What was I doing in a Dungeon with a person I’d met less than a week ago baring their soul to me? And why me of all people?

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

Still, I considered their words, trying to find what I wanted to say. I had lost Chrissie in a similar way, even though the situation was completely different. And part of me had been stuck there, always, wondering if I’d done anything differently if things would’ve changed. If things would be different now. If Chrissie would be alive.

“Jye… That you’re asking me this means you have looked back.” Their mouth opened, like they wanted to interrupt, but I waved them away. “In fact, what you actually want to ask isn’t if they cared about you, is it?”

They snorted. “Look at you, acting like some sort of therapist.”

I ignored their provocation.

“You want to ask if it’s okay for you to still love them. Despite everything.”

A long silence fell between us.

I wondered if they had decided to stop talking to me.

Jye’s voice was small, so small compared to how large they’d trained to be. “Is it?”

“You can’t stop yourself from caring about someone,” I said. “Your love for them does fade with time and distance, but it’s still always there somewhere.”

Jye loosened their grip on their legs, and leaned back to hear what I said next.

“Your brothers and sisters didn’t protect you, didn’t support you, didn’t help you. There’s no denying that.” For a second I thought about Axel, but refocused, “But you were kids. I’m sure, as much as they could, they cared about you too. So you’ve every right to care about them. Your parents though…”

“Nah, fuck my parents. I’ll never forgive them. I hope they died when the Gates appeared, but I’m not that lucky.”

That Jye was back to their usual self made me feel a little better. When they didn’t ask another question I turned to check on them, but saw their eyes were closed and their breathing had slowed. Probably emotional exhaustion. Or just plain exhaustion. The past day had been stressful, and that was putting it lightly.

“You look like hell,” said a smug voice to my right.

“You should see the other guy.”

“Got a mirror I could borrow for that?” Axel said, grimacing to sit up.

Using just a minor bit of force, I pressed down onto his shoulder. He struggled for a second before thumping limply back onto the bedroll beneath him. Axel was scowling at my hand. I gave him a look that said, “It’s gonna stay there because I know you’re an idiot.”

“How’s your HP?”

“About half way back now. You can probably let me sit up.”

I pressed down harder on his shoulder. That was good. It meant he was regenerating at a reasonable rate, similar to when Jye had broken their leg during the party’s gym practice. A huge weight lifted from my shoulders. Knowing that Axel would be okay, that I wouldn’t be the reason he’d died. Suddenly I could breathe freely.

“Did you mean that promise?” Axel asked.

I scoffed. “I’d have said anything.”

“Anything, huh?” he said. He sounded hurt.

Clearing my throat, I swapped hands so my left was holding him down. “But I did. Mean it, that is. I think.”

Axel’s eyes grew wide. It was one of the first times that I’d seen him look surprised since the Gates had activated. The expression was comical on him. His mouth was slightly ajar, blonde brows high. It gave me a thrill to know that even after all this time I could still shock him. Especially with how he had called me predictable. This would show him.

“If this is the end of the world, all I have left is family and friends. Out of everyone, you’re practically both. What’d be the point of winning without you?”

I was surprised by his reaction. He started laughing, low and quiet at first, but then it built into full body shaking, tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Oh, yeah, that wasn’t concerning at all. I filed the reaction into the “Worrisome Axel Behaviour” box in my mind and let him continue until he tired himself out again. The laughter died down into gentle snoring.

Sooner or later, we’d have to talk about why he was acting so crazy. He’d been hiding something since our classes had been granted. And lying every now and again. Axel was deeply affected by something, so much that it was causing these insane mood swings and unjustifiable behaviour.

Before the Gates, he would have never even considered hurting a cat. They were his and Chrissie’s favourite animal, even once taking home a stray that still lived with Axel’s parents until a few years ago. My sister had named him Scribble, after how he’d been scratching and playing in the dirt like he was doodling.

Meow.

It was like I could hear Scribble now. The vets had called him the healthiest Tom they’d ever seen. It wasn’t a surprise he lived for so long. He’d passed at the guessed age of eighteen, close to the longest the animals could healthily achieve. I always thought he lived that long for Chrissie, living out his whole life for her. It was a silly thought, but whenever I’d visit Charleville and see Scribble it made it more bearable.

“Meow.”

There was Scribble again. Wait, that wasn’t his meow. His mewling was closer to a squawk. As he’d lived on the street for the first few years, he hadn’t learned how to meow for humans. Slowly, Axel’s family taught him, but even then, it was never a proper meow. This sound I was hearing…

In the corner of my eye, I saw the movement of the calico bobtail. It was back! It was fortuitous that everyone else was asleep with how trigger happy they’d been before. I was not about to try and fight the party to keep the cat safe again, not with how everything had turned out last time. With as little sound as possible, I stood from the wall I was leaning against and approached the cat.

Leaning down, I turned my back to the feline. It was cat behaviour 101. Don’t face it, because that would be seen as aggression. Presenting your back showed you weren’t trying to dominate it. Out of the three of us, I was the only one who’d need to learn these tactics. The felines had been naturally drawn to Axel and Chrissie.

“Are you lost, little guy? How’d you end up in the Dungeon?

The paws stepped closer until it was right behind me. I tried to peek at it from my peripheral vision, but only caught a glimpse. Then I felt the soft fur brush up against me, the warmth of their small body. I had always wanted to get a cat for Axel’s and my apartment. My parents had been allergic to cat dander, so I wasn’t allowed one as a kid.

Lifting a hand, I tried to pet it, but it darted away, strutting in front of me.

“Don’t like pats?” I asked.

It flopped onto its back and trilled at me. What a sweet little kitten! But the stomach presentation was one 100 percent a trap. If I tried to touch the tempting belly it would rabbit kick my hands to shreds and tear into my skin with its claws and fangs. I’d fallen for the trick too many times to count. But the behaviour was definitely basic cat. There was nothing off about it, except maybe its willingness to reapproach us after what happened.

It was probably just desperate.

Grabbing some of the protein+ plain jerky from my backpack, I shredded it and put some out for the cat. It was too salty for normal cat food, but as a rare snack, it would be fine. No sooner did I put it down did the cat snatch it up. Without even chewing it, she gobbled it down. The poor thing was starving. I rummaged further through our inventory, searching through Wren’s bag since she had quite the stock from Woolies, and found some spam. Again, it was high in sodium, but since cats got most of their hydration from food, it would be better for her.

I peeled open the can, and scooped out some onto the removed lid. She wolfed it down.

“Damn, you can eat, huh? Well, that’s all I can give you right now. I can feed you at this time each night, but you gotta make sure the others don’t see you. They think you’re a danger to us. But you’re just a cat, aren’t you?”

She didn’t respond, just licked the can lid, green eyes pleading for more.

“No more. Now scram before they wake up.”

I reached out to pat her, but she ran, this time disappearing into the shadows. Well, this was going to be a problem for future me. I had almost killed my best friend to save a cat and was now secretly feeding it behind everyone’s back. Was this a type of betrayal? Did this make a bad person?

My brain hurt.