There had to be a better way of doing this. I was beginning to think that whoever designed the system had a deranged sense of humour and derived enjoyment from watching others getting tortured. Despite the instant sense of spite aimed at whoever had orchestrated this whole apocalypse, it did nothing to dull the sense of awe that washed over me when my surroundings finally hit me.
It was nothing like the desert or cabin I’d just come from. In fact, if anything I’d have called it the perfect permutation of what people would think of when they were told to imagine a “fantasy marketplace.” Little wooden stalls decorated the edges of the cobblestone street, each manned by a different vendor, none of which were human. Species varied from identifiably elven and dwarf, but running to non-humanoid figures I couldn’t have dreamt of. A few vendors called out, sharing their deals, and others were offering samples of their products. To me it sounded like English, but I was sure some of them did not have the necessary mouth parts to create such sounds. Automatic translation? Or was this simply another version of a Dungeon where things were more game-like?
The tantalising aroma of a freshly baked apple pie with the lightest follow through of cinnamon and vanilla that wafted over to me from a nearby stall smelt so real. Which meant all these people and this place could be real as well. This thought ricocheted around in my mind. I hadn’t let the events settle, hadn’t reflected.
This was real.
Axel had nearly died.
I’d nearly died.
I’d nearly killed someone.
Yes, I’d long since accepted that the world was over as I knew it. For about a week now, I’d been willing to be open-minded about what was happening. The abilities, the screens, the Dungeons, the Gates. I had thought I had fully accepted reality for what it had become. That I was okay with it. But I think I was… Fuck. I’d been dissociating almost the entire time.
As the familiar tightening of my chest began, I frantically tapped my pockets for the Warhead, but found them empty.
Of course, this probably wasn’t even really my body. There’d be no way they’d let us leave that Dungeon. Unfortunately, being aware of that did nothing to stop the panic attack. Not as though anything could really stop them. It didn’t help that without any physical anchor, focusing was impossible.
The panic tore through me, like my spine pulled straight up into my brain.
Though I wasn’t the same person I was the last time I had one. I’d basically died. I’d found peace with a new purpose. If this happened, I couldn’t protect anyone. I’d never be more than I was. And I wanted to be there for Wren, and Jye and Axel, and fuck, even Tam. They wouldn’t die without me, I knew that. But if I could help them, I wanted to. So, I had to do something.
I could feel the anxiety attack beginning to sweat through my pores, my muscles trembling, my lungs struggling. No! I had to be better. I wanted to be better. For my party. For Chrissie.
That I was capable of thinking of someone other than myself meant even right now, I was different. Maybe I could actually… change this.
The breathing method my doctor had taught me ages ago when I’d come in about dealing with the stress of university exams came to mind.
Breathe in for six, hold for four, out for six, hold for four, cycle. Think of your calm place.
In for six. Hold for four. Out for six. Hold for four. My happy place.
My chest felt tight, limbs locked.
In for six. My apartment back in Brisbane, watching stuff with Axel, on the sofa he hated, because he had nothing better to do, burning time before his friends came by, or he had to go out. Hold for four. His expression of disdain as he skipped the Bounto filler arc. Out for six. Arguing about the implications of learning the alien language on people’s perception of time. Hold for four. The laughter we shared at the distorted smear frame of Invincible fighting that we’d accidentally paused on.
The air trickled in through my lungs, thoughts loosening.
Breath in, in, in, in, in, in. Our shock when it turned out to be the Bad Place, though Axel claimed he’d called it. Hold for four, four, four, four. When we’d both cried as Natsume said goodbye to another yokai, and Axel swore me to secrecy. Breathe out, out, out, out, out, out. Poking fun at the film Axel had torrented being the wrong “Cargo.” Hold for four, four, four, four. Nodding off, then waking to the dulcet tones of Minako Honda playing over the credits; Axel’s snores her backing track.
As I breathed in again, everything began to steady, the world equalling out. My heart still pounded, but I could feel it slowing. A post-attack shiver rocked through me, but I felt better. Better than I had before.
I breathed out.
To be honest, it surprised me that what calmed me was TV shows and movies. Actually, was that kind of sad? Though I hadn’t really ever given the method an honest try before. My GP was a little on the more holistic side of treatments most times, so whenever she told me to do something that had nothing to do with a prescription or medically backed advice, I’d written her words down and had then promptly tucked them away in one of my dresser drawers. If I ever saw her again, I owed her one. Hell, if I saw anyone else ever again from life before I’d probably give them a long hug out of pure joy they were still alive.
Able to take everything in now, my feet feeling grounded, I approached one of the stalls cautiously.
With a flash, the products loaded in. It seemed like a potions vendor.
“What can I help you with, my friend?” asked the lizard person. Given my unfamiliarity with their species, I couldn’t tell what gender they were. There were none of the feminine and masculine presenting traits that I could recognise in humans. Maybe they didn’t even have sexes or genders. The colour of wheat fields after harvest, they resembled a bearded dragon more than other lizards I’d seen. Their blue forked tongue flicked between pointed teeth as they spoke. For some reason, I’d been expecting them to speak with a lisp. Shit, was that racist?
I cleared my throat. “Uh, I’m just browsing.”
“Please browse away.”
They turned their attention to another approaching customer. Curious, I looked at them as well. It was just the silhouette of a human. No discernible details. Like a shadow in three dimensions. Even as I watched, their size and build shifted. Was this identity protection? Did I also look like that? For a moment, the customer turned and I felt their gaze on me. I could’ve sworn I saw them sigh. Before I could decide how to respond, their faceless figure was swallowed by a throng of other shifting shades.
“Actually, I did have a question,” I said.
“Yes, how can I help?”
“Are you… Are you real?”
They chortled. “This must be your first time in Twilight.”
“Twilight?” I echoed.
“We call it Twilight, since it’s between times. The [REDACTED] call it the marketplace.”
I blinked. Was the lizard person being actively censored? Why? Did it have something to do with what was happening to Earth? Did that mean this fantasy trading spot was actually a real place? They’d said it was “between.” What did that even mean? Here I had been thinking the marketplace would answer some of my questions. But it just made me ask more. And they were questions that couldn’t even be answered because of the moderation that was happening.
“I don’t know what you just said.”
They hummed in consideration. “You’re early here then. I’ve no doubt your wallet is empty. Though I’m happy to buy if you’ve got anything worth selling.”
Early? Did that mean their words would eventually become uncensored? Maybe I should come back here later when I could actually ask questions. Though selling something now would be good, just to familiarise myself with how it all worked. I cast my mind back to Axel’s sword. No, he was already quite attached to it. It wouldn’t break his heart if I sold it, but it would definitely make our relationship that much more messy.
“Do you buy Dungeon only items?”
“Offer something and we’ll see.”
What did we have excess of back in the Dungeon? We needed food to survive, our bedrolls for comfort, clothes for hygiene. If anything, the only thing we could really sell off was a few of the Kmart knives since Jye had grabbed far more than they needed. Even if we got rid of five, they’d still have a dozen left. I summoned the image of them in my mind and wasn’t surprised they appeared as a digital image hovering above my hand.
“What about these?”
The lizard person’s slitted yellow eyes widened, the pupils dilating in the centre. “Yes, we definitely can buy those.”
None of the potions in their stall had prices attached, which meant it was difficult for me to gauge the true value of them in the marketplace. Though they were acting like these knives were valuable. Perhaps they were even rare? If I thought about it, they were stainless steel— something that a medieval-esque world wouldn’t have access to without furnaces reaching absurd temperatures.
Intending to double whatever they answered, I asked, “How many credits will one of these fetch me?”
Their scaled lips curved into a grin, and they leaned forward. “I’ll tell you what. I’ll give you a deal. You give me one of those knives and I’ll be your personal vendor here. Of course, I’d get a cut of the profit, but you wouldn’t have to worry about coming here again.”
My brows furrowed in thought. “How could that possibly be in my benefit?”
“Time doesn’t work the same here, my friend. Never has. It’s always different, every time you come. When you visit Twilight, you pay not only in credits but in time.”
My mind boggled. “So, hours could be passing while we talk?”
“Hours, days, months, years.” They paused. “Sometimes decades.”
A chill ran through me. “What about my body? This one can’t be real.”
“Your body goes into magic stasis when you project your mental state to Twilight. So long as you have regenerative mana, you’ll survive. Of course, someone can always just kill you while you’re vulnerable. I hope you left your body in safe hands.”
Wren and Axel wouldn’t let anything happen to me. They were probably fretting over what to do right now. It was kind of nice knowing they were there to rely on. Focusing on the lizard person, I hesitated in accepting their deal. If they were telling the truth, it meant that not coming back to Twilight was probably ideal. But it also meant that I’d have to trust them to deal with all of my sales and purchases for the future. That was a lot of faith to put on someone I’d met minutes ago. Well, I guess technically it could’ve been decades ago at this point.
If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.
“So, how does you being my vendor work with the system?” I asked, now very aware of the seconds ticking by us, a sand hourglass in the corner of my mind, grains pouring away. What if Axel, Jye and Wren died waiting for me?
The ridge on the inner edge of their left eye deepened in what I assumed was mimicry of raising an eyebrow. “You’re not as simple as some of the early bloomers we get here sometimes.”
They cleared their throat. “Well, you sell your items from back in [REDACTED] and I put them on auction. You’re guaranteed a better price than selling them straight to a vendor here. I take my cut which is a reasonable 20% and then I send the remaining credit to you. It is sent instantaneously through [REDACTED]. Buying works the same way, but you put in a request with me and I’ll try to get it, but there’s no promise I can get your desired products. For those, there’s a 20% buyer’s fee too.”
Trying to act disinterested, I buffed my nails on my shirt and checked their shine, then said, “Why should I make you my personal vendor? Why not the others?”
They propped a hand on their hip. “You came to my stall first. Is that not a type of fate?”
“You’re saying fate led me here?”
It was an amusing idea. Though I wasn’t the type to believe in fate or predestined choices. Life was what you made it. Granted, I’d not made a very positive life for myself. Sequestering myself away from others, never having any aspirations. For so long it’d been difficult to figure out what I was meant to be doing.
When Chrissie passed away, it felt like everything tumbled away from me in a domino Sternberg machine of loss. One piece hit another and soon everything was in shambles. Chrissie was taken, Axel abandoned me, the panic attacks controlled my life, my grades dropped, I had no energy to do anything. One by one it all slipped from my grip. And I don’t think I ever got it back. I had accepted that life was fine without all those things. I was okay with it all.
It was stupid to think that to get my life together I had to lose it all again. But that meant fate wasn’t real. All of these choices had been mine and they’d led me here.
“Fate or chance. Whichever word you use, it was me who you first sought. I digress, you’re welcome to try with the other vendors. But you’ll find them far less congenial than I’ve been. My [REDACTED] that didn’t so I’ve a soft spot for you people, but many of the others did.”
This fucking censoring. Hoping he’d be able to reword it so I could understand, I asked, “Your what?”
“You really are quite early, aren’t you?” They ran a scaled hand under their spiked chin, and then muttered to themself, “There’s specific regulations for [REDACTED] to be able to access Twilight. Curious and curiouser.”
“10% buyer and seller premium,” I offered.
A croaky laugh emanated from them. “You think me a fool? 20% is a deal no other vendor would offer as it is.”
“8%.”
The lizard’s eyes narrowed, their second horizontal lid as well. “I’m doing you a favour here.”
I took a deep breath and squared my shoulders to stand my ground. “Based on everything you’ve said, my wares have more value than you’re letting on. You don’t know a single thing about me, but you’re willing to make an exclusive deal with me simply by seeing one item I have access to. This means I have things you know others will want. You’re sitting at 5% now.”
They growled, a low gurgling from their throat. “Early but not an idiot. 15%.”
I shook my head. “It’s 5% or nothing.”
“10% and I’ll give you one of my potions. My pick.”
Considering their offer, it wasn’t bad. When I’d moved in with Axel, I still had all the furniture from the uni sharehouse I’d rented while studying. Axel had far nicer stuff than me so we’d agreed to sell my stuff off other than the lounge which we’d both agreed was comfier than his. Most of it was flatpack or Ikea furniture and instead of handling it myself, it was simply easier to drop it all off at an auction house. They’d charged a 25% seller’s premium and 15% buyer’s premium and it was one of the better cuts I’d seen. So, at the very least 10% was better than most auction houses back in Brisbane.
“10% and I get to pick one of your potions,” I countered.
The lizard’s jaw clenched. The cogs were turning in their mind. They would agree. I0% was a decent portion of the profit. And since it was an exclusive deal it meant that they’d get everything I’d be putting up for sale. It also didn’t stop them from selling or buying from other players. So really the only person who was limited was me.
“All right. 10% and your pick of potions,” they finally said, a smile gaping their scaled mouth. “Your name?”
“Lee. And yours?”
“Xanthe is as close as you’ll get.”
As they spoke, a screen popped up in front of me. This time it was grey, not off-white like the request we’d gotten, and not the normal blue system windows. At the very least, I was learning more and more about the underpinnings of the world we currently lived in. Writing appeared on the screen.
Exclusive Contract: In exchange for exclusive selling rights, Lee will forfeit 10% of sale profits to vendor Xanthe. In addition to this, a one-off potion will be provided to Lee from Xanthe’s store for no cost and one [KMART 20cm Triple Rivet Chef’s Knife] will be provided to Xanthe for no cost. Accept | Reject
I read and reread the contract, trying to see if Xanthe was attempting to pull something over me, but it all seemed legit. A week ago I’d been the type of person to read all the Terms and Conditions, clauses, and fine print on everything I signed or accepted. It’d helped me bargain back overtime pay from work for my whole department once. So I was confident this contract was acceptable.
Exclusive Contract signed. Xanthe assigned as main vendor.
The hovering image of the knife I’d shown Xanthe evaporated from my hand, and appeared on an empty shelf in Xanthe’s store. I wondered momentarily if Xanthe sold anything other than potions. Had my deal been too hasty? Should I have bargained for more?
The lizard jutted their jaw at the potions in their stall. “What’ll it be?”
“I’ll pick later.”
They scoffed, shaking their head with a toothy smile. “A [REDACTED] after my own hearts. You might be a good source of income yet. If time is on your side.”
Only vaguely registering the plurality of “heart,” I focused on their second sentence. I’d been in the marketplace, no, Twilight, for around 15 minutes now. If the Jeremy Bearimy of it all even just meant minutes became hours, I’d have been unconscious in the Dungeon for the majority of a day. With Tam being such a wildcard, I had no idea what I’d be returning to if I stayed here any longer. Maybe I’d already been here for too long already.
“How do I leave?” I asked, glancing around.
The words had only barely left my mouth before the blue screen updated.
Return to Dungeon? Accept | Reject
Ask and ye shall receive, I guess. Xanthe nodded sagely and then said, “I expect we’ll never meet again. But I hope you do well. I really do. Do better than [REDACTED]. Don’t hesitate to contact me about purchases.”
I gave them what I hoped was a reassuring look. “Thanks. If you’re looking for something specific to sell, let me know and I’ll see what I can pick up.”
Xanthe’s black eyes glinted in surprise, and I waved once before accepting the screen’s prompt.
Everything disappeared.
I blinked.
An explosion of pain erupted from the back of my head, the weight of momentum leaving my body. As my eyes flashed open, I could identify Wren and Axel reaching for my fallen form, their expression almost identical to how they’d looked before I’d left. Oh. I guess Xanthe hadn’t been lying. Instead of the time elongating, it had shortened. It looked like only milliseconds had passed, if not nanoseconds, in the Dungeon.
“Ow,” I said, reaching to touch the now tender spot.
“What the hell was that?”
As my fingers made contact with my head, a tendril of pain shot through me and I winced. “Do not go to Twilight.” I checked my HP and wasn’t surprised to see I’d lost 1 HP as a result of my body ragdolling and smacking my head on the floor.
“What’s Twilight?” Wren asked.
I groaned as the two of them helped me stand. Axel held a hand at my waist to steady me, and Wren grabbed one of my hands. The physical sensation of my body felt no different to my mental projection in Twilight, and at the same time it was entirely something else. I could tell this was my real form.
I didn’t even know where to begin explaining what had happened, and as my mind settled I only said, “Not good. The marketplace, Twilight… It’s basically a gamble for high-rollers.”
“I mean, Stephenie Meyer is not a great writer, but she sells. If you have disposable income, and it’s your choice of genre, I can’t really judge.”
“You’re meant to be asleep,” Axel said pissily.
Jye shrugged. “And you’re meant to be not shit, but here we are.”
He closed his eyes in exasperation, breathing in slowly. That Axel had not yet permanently maimed Jye was a shock to me. Jye was the type of person that had always rubbed Axel the wrong way. It was the obliviousness he disliked the most. He once said to me that if there was one trait he hated the most in others, it was ignorance. And things just flew over Jye’s head.
Luckily Tam was still dead asleep, her snoring barely audible. I couldn’t trust her just yet.
Briefly I summarised what Twilight was and the deal I’d made with Xanthe to the others. They absorbed it in silence with solemn expressions. I’m not sure I did the marketplace justice in my explanation since I saw Axel’s eyes glaze over in boredom. When I finished I said, “Any questions?”
“Did the lizard person wear clothes?” Jye asked.
My incredulity at their question must’ve shown on my face because Jye pouted.
“I’m asking because there’s no point in lizards wearing clothes. They have scales. Their scales are basically like armour and clothes.”
“What about if they need to carry extra stuff?” Wren said.
“Oh, I hadn’t thought about that. But then maybe they could use bags instead. That’s still not clothes.”
“What if they want to dress up pretty?”
“It would depend on their culture, but I’d think paints would make more sense for that kind of thing. You know, maybe their kind even employs self-mutilation.”
“Jye!” I admonished.
Chastised, they smiled apologetically. “Sorry, sorry. Forgot there were kids around.” They cleared their throat. “Let me rephrase that. Maybe they carve patterns into their-”
Axel landed a solid karate chop across Jye’s solar plexus, driving the wind out of their diaphragm and stopping them midword. A ehugh exhaled from the giant’s lungs as they folded, immediately gripping at their abdomen, eyes wide in shock and betrayal more than pain. Axel shot me a look that said, “Can you believe this idiot?”
I repressed my sigh. “No, Xanthe was not wearing clothes. I was taken off guard by the mere fact they were a lizard person. Them being naked did not cross my mind.”
“I knew it,” Jye exclaimed wheezily, eyes watering, still bent over.
“Do you guys not have any other questions?”
Axel sarcastically raised a hand. “What about when we need to sell stuff?”
I considered his words for a second and then said, “Give it to me and I’ll get Xanthe to auction it off instead. I’ll just send you credits back.”
“Sweet little pea, you’re getting a little too big for your britches.”
“Does no one care about the watch shifts?” Axel grumbled.
Tam had uncurled from my bedroll, and was lazily watching us, her head propped up on a bent arm. “I don’t trust you as far as I could throw you. There’s no way I’m letting you sell stuff on my behalf. And Mumma would never for a second approve of it.”
“You’re welcome to risk the time dilation ending poorly for you.”
“How do I even know that there’s even such a thing without seeing it with mine own two eyes?”
“Well, you’re part of the team now and I’d rather not pointlessly lose a party member to something we could all avoid. You can trust that. Especially after I’ve saved your life twice.”
A petulant expression soured her face. “Say this wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey shit does exist. What if this snake was lying to you about it changing every time and they’re taking you for a ride?”
I didn’t want to admit it, but she had a point. But it was too risky to verify that Xanthe had been honest with me. The lizard had struck me as a trustworthy person, but it was impossible to convey that to someone who’d never met them. I knew I should’ve been more suspicious, but in my gut I felt that Xanthe was a good person. Just the same way I thought Tam was. Maybe hers was a lot deeper down though.
I shrugged. “Well, trust has to be earned. If Xanthe doesn’t deliver then we won’t use them, and try Twilight again. I just won’t handle items after that. Someone else can. It was just luck I travelled there first.”
The raven-headed woman scowled and folded their arms. “Fine.”
Jye, who had now recovered from Axel’s attack, sprang forward. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. We’ve got to circle back. Which Doctor?”
Tam scoffed. “The best, of course.”
“Matt Smith?” Jye supplied.
Her top lip curled in disgust. She looked ready to choke out Jye. Her free hand twitched in anticipation. I was trying to think of anything to change the conversation, but my mind was coming up blank. I never watched the show. It was only thanks to social media osmosis that I knew what they were talking about.
Wren, thankfully, interrupted with: “I think the 9th Doctor was my favourite.”
Her anger fizzled out as she looked over at Wren’s smiling face. “He’s not too bad either, though Tennant is the right answer.”
Axel decided to join the irrelevant conversation. “I’m disappointed we’ll never get to see Ncuti Gatwa. I think he would’ve topped Tennant.”
“I don’t think I know that actor,” Wren said with a slight frown.
Our newest party member regarded Axel sceptically.
“What makes you think he’d have been better?”
The conversation now seemingly had left Twilight far behind. And it appeared like returning to the topic was not likely.
Giving up, I said, “Well, he was great in Sex Education.”