“Oh gosh,” the half-awake kobold murmured, continuing to carefully knot Shin’s hair. “I don’t really get it? But that sounds pretty bad!”

“You’ve nailed it,” Shin confirmed, finishing up the braid he was putting into the hair of the kobold in front of him. “It is definitely bad, and I definitely don’t get it.”

The return to Shinki Itten after taking the Travel Key back to Anyport had been stressful, to put it mildly. Glandem’s cold threat and dramatic disappearance had served as fuel for Shin’s fertile imagination, and with every hour spent racing across the waves he couldn’t help but conjure up some fresh hell that awaited his city. Would they arrive only to find the city already under siege by a supernaturally elite Oaken Elf army? Or overrun by a horde of System-spawned monstrosities? Would the crops have all withered in the fields, or would he discover his people had been stricken by some fiendish plague?

Or maybe it would be a subtler disaster, the sort of truly insidious calamity that only another Schemer could have produced. Perhaps he’d return home only to find his peoples’ minds twisted to love and obey Glandem, or had their shared history edited to have already been conquered. Who knew? Try as he might, the kobold simply could not force himself to quantify the weight of the resources his rival had just burned through in his capricious decision to teach Shin a lesson.

One hundred and fifty Royal Coins. Two Royal Coins had been enough to completely turn around an unwinnable battle. What madness could seventy-five times that amount accomplish?

The sight of the towers of Shinki Itten appearing over the horizon, just as tall and proud as he remembered them, didn’t come close to easing Shin’s sense of dread. Neither had his breakneck tour of the city from harbor to fortress and back again, accompanied by an entire division of Banken to scour every nook and cranny for some evidence of Glandem’s influence. Interviews of a randomly selected and increasingly concerned sample of the population similarly revealed that, as far as Shinki Itten was concerned, the only issue worrying them at that moment was the all-too obvious apprehension of their Council members.

Day turned to night, and no sign of Glandem’s counterstroke was found. Another day passed, and another, and still the cruel fruits of those hundred and fifty Royal Coins had yet to bloom. Hilde and her Banken assured Shin at the end of every day that Shinki Itten was continuing on as it always had. The Wild Son filling the Council seat confirmed that his brothers and sisters held the wilds between Shinki Itten and Quercus in all but name, and that there was no sign of aggression or treachery traveling the roads between the two cities. There were simply no signs whatsoever of anything untoward.

Not that any of that comforted Shin. Glandem hadn’t spent a God’s ransom in premium currency on nothing, and his failure at rooting out what the Oaken Elf King had bought simply meant he was going to be attacked from an angle he’d never considered. Shin knew that paranoia was sinking itself deeper and deeper into his mind, clouding his reasoning with flights of apocalyptic fantasy. Every shift in the wind was evidence of Glandem’s schemes. Every slight change in schedule from a trusted friend was proof of System-imposed perfidy. Every corner was a hiding spot from behind which the sneaky king might spring, smacking Shin over the head with a bag full of rocks as he shouted ‘You just got Glandem-ed!’

It was possible Glandem had spent those Royal Coins on nothing, knowing full well that it would drive his foe insane. And honestly, if he had? Shin couldn’t be too upset. Gotta respect that level of Game.

At the very least Shin was still sane enough to realize that he was doing no one any good by worrying them. Vigilance was one thing, but all-consuming obsession was another. Besides, if wouldn’t keep it together well enough to make it through the night somewhat peacefully, he ran the risk of being kicked out of the big pile of kobolds he preferred to sleep in. And if that happened, Glandem would have truly won.

“Everything will be fine, though,” Shin assured his neighbor, turning around when the pat on his shoulder indicated his hair had been fully tied back. “We’ll figure this mess out. Don’t let me keep you from your day, Nao.”

Nao’s ears folded bashfully as he gave Shin a polite bow of farewell, offering another to Gero where she waited by the door before quickly moving to join the crowd of kobolds leaving to go about their daily business. “I’ve been waiting here this whole time, you know,” Gero remarked, her arms folded across her chest. “Maybe you should try sleeping on top of someone who doesn’t do such intricate knots.”

“Please, Gero. Nao is an artist.” Shin reached back to give his braid a jaunty toss. “The other kobolds fight to wind up next to him for the morning groom. Sleeping on top of Nao is a privilege.”

“Uh-huh, well, it’s also a waste of time,” Gero grumbled, running a hand through her own closely-cropped hair. “If you’d used all the time you’ve wasted on hair-care on some more serious issue, we might have conquered the world by now.”

“Mm, maybe,” Shin admitted as he breezed into the hallway, Gero falling in step beside him. “But who wants to rule the world with bad hair?”

Gero shrugged. “Point taken.”

“Besides, it’s tradition!” Shin stepped aside to allow a kobold and hobgoblin pushing a cart laden with bags of rice to take their passage. “We groomed each other each morning as mongrels, and we still do it as kobolds.”

“We licked mud and gunk and blood off of each other as mongrels, you mean,” Gero corrected. “I don’t remember ever sitting in a big circle to play with each other’s hair.”

“Well sure you don’t,” Shin quipped. “You never joined in. I offered to do it for you once and you made me eat dirt.”

Gero snorted. “And I’d do it again. If it hadn’t been for me keeping you in check with all that dirt, you’d have definitely conquered the world already. But, like, in an evil way.”

“Huh.” Shin tilted his head as he started down the tower stairs, considering that. “I’d been wondering what happened to all of my tyrannical inclinations. Was that it this whole time?”

“Yep.” Gero reached out, giving Shin a playful flick to the side of his temple. “Dirt on the brain.”

The Schemer grinned. “Well damn. I guess we just need to hold down Glandem and feed him a few fistfulls of dirt, then.”

“Oh I am so far ahead of you on that score.”

Shin’s grin spread, then faded slightly as he reached out to touch Gero’s shoulder. “Gero…thank you.”

The woman’s ears folded slightly. “Um, for what?”

“For…everything, I guess? You’ve been with me every step of our lives, and sometimes I think you’re the only person I can still talk to like this.”

Gero snorted, though it sounded a touch less dismissive than she might have intended. “It’s someone’s literal job to listen to you talk, Shin.”

Shin immediately shook his head. “I absolutely cannot talk to Mimasu like this. Not a chance.”

“Well there’s Momo,” Gero hesitantly offered. “She’s been with us at every step, too.”

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“Momo is our dearest friend, no question. But,” –Shin thrashed his tail, gathering his thoughts as best he could– “Well, sometimes I feel like the whole Divine thing means she’s operating on a different level than we are. There are definitely times when I know I’m not talking to my old friend, but the High Priestess. You know?”

“Sure, but what about me?” Gero puffed out her chest, flexing an arm as she indicated herself with her thumb. “I’m the legendary Master of the Oninu Order. The strongest warriors in our city salute me. There’s tapestries with me on them.” She grinned down at Shin, her eyes sparkling with challenge. “Are you saying I’m not on a different level, too? Hmm~?”

“Oh you’re on a different level alright,” Shin replied, his tail swinging in a teasing circle. “But to me you’re still just Gero.” The Schemer briefly reconsidered. “Oh, but I will start saluting you if you want.”

Gero’s ears shot up at that, the warrior scowling in a half-hearted attempt to mask her embarrassment. “Shut up. I’ll make you eat dirt.”

Shin couldn’t help laughing again. “See? Five minutes with you, and I’ve already forgotten my burdens.” The kobold heaved a sigh, staring regretfully at the door that led out into the plaza. “In a few moments we’ll have to step outside, and then we’ll be back in the muck of trying to dig out Glandem’s attack. It’s stressful, and it’s exacting, and it’s…it’s taking a toll on me.” He gave Gero’s shoulder a squeeze, sincere gratitude in his eyes. “You’re the only person who can make me forget all that, even if it’s just for a moment. So again: Thank you.”

Gero quietly slipped her hand on top of Shin’s, the two kobolds briefly standing in silence. Then she grinned. “Well, we’d better get to it, then. You’ve got an elf to root out, and I’ve got to find the biggest pile of dirt available.”

“Right!” Shin gave his braid another sassy flip, marching towards the tower gateway with a significantly more playful sigh. “Well now I’m in too good of a mood. You just know that as soon as I open that door, someone’ll come running up with terrible news that–”

“GERO~~!”

Gero let out a grunt of surprise as a figure smashed into her the moment she and Shin stepped outside, nearly knocking the big warrior clean off of her feet. She shot her eyes back and forth between Shin and the figure clinging to her, tail stiff as she hesitated between reaching for her weapon, prying herself free, or simply collapsing to the ground in an attempt to smoosh her persistent hanger-on.

But when the moment of confusion had passed and she realized who her assailant was, her tail burst into an elated wag. “Bex?!”

“Haha, yeah!” The Player exclaimed, her green eyes twinkling in delight. “Omigosh I missed you! How’s everything? How’s everyone?!” She gasped as a thought struck her. “Oh! Oh, but let me introduce my friends! This is Vargas and Blackmire; they’ve been helping me out a lot!”

Sure enough, two other Players were waiting a few paces away, both deeply amused by the exuberant girl’s greeting. The first was tall and lean, his pale hair left to hang loose at his shoulders and a longsword lashed to his side, while the second was short and somewhat squat, a pair of goggles pushed up onto his forehead and a strange polearm strapped to his back. The tall swordsman offered Gero a playful salute, the leather of his military-styled gloves squeaking. “Vargas Veil, ma’am. It’s a pleasure.”

“And I’m Blackmire Boldshanks!” The dwarf exclaimed, the braids in his beard waggling as he slapped himself on the chest. “We’re finally meeting the famous Gero, eh? You’re even more impressive than in the video!”

In the video? Well there was no way Shin was going to let that slip by. And fortunately, the combination of Bex’s hug assault and the greetings from two total strangers had prompted a pleading glance from Gero, so Shin had no qualms about sneaking in to ask his questions. “She really is, isn’t she?” Vargas glanced towards Shin, seemingly noticing him for the first time as the Schemer stepped forward. “On behalf of the Shinki Itten Council, let me welcome–”

“Skip RP.”

Shin blinked. “...huh?”

“Skip RP.” The swordsman turned his head back to Gero, having apparently already dismissed Shin from his mind. “So Bex told us you’re her Master? What sort of…” He trailed off as he noticed the flare in Gero’s eyes, as well as the sour look Bex was shooting him. “What? What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?!” Bex huffed, releasing Gero so she might prod a finger into Vargas’s shoulder. “That’s my friend Shin you’re trying to skip dialogue with!”

Vargas immediately winced. “Aw shit. He’s Shin? I thought he was, like, an automated greeter or…” The man shook away his excuse, his shoulders slumped as he offered Shin an apologetic look. “Hey man, I’m sorry. I’ve been on the Destined Path so long, and characters are always coming up to welcome you to places and I just–” He shook his head again, frowning at his own words. “...Anyways, yeah. Sorry.”

“I’m sorry too,” Blackmire solemnly intoned. “Sorry that my dear friend is such a small-minded–” He half giggled, half grunted as Vargas elbowed him in annoyance, the dwarf batting aside the human’s prods. “So yeah; he’s very sorry.”

Shin waved away the apology with good humor. “It’s alright. We actually just got back from our first trip to Magica City, and if that’s what most people on the Destined Path are like I very much get it.”

“Eh?” Bex tilted her head. “You went to Magica City?” She glanced back and forth between Shin and Gero for a moment, then tilted her head even further. “Why?”

“Oh man is it complicated.” Shin took a quick mental inventory, rapidly deciding on the most succinct way to explain their current situation. “We’re at war with the Oaken Elves now. We think. King Glandem threw a hundred and fifty Royal Coins at us.”

Blackmire’s eyes bulged as he pushed his way forward. “A hundred and…really?”

“Yeah,” Gero deadpanned. “Is that a lot?”

“Um yes. That’s, like,” –The dwarf did some quick calculations in his fingers– “More than most people make in a year. In several years.”

“Well wait,” Vargas interjected. “Are you saying he spent that many coins on just one thing?”

Bittercup had certainly seemed sure of that, so Shin nodded. “No question.”

The two Players shared a look, and then Vargas hesitantly spoke again. “...What can a character even spend that many Coins on in one shot?”

To their credit, it hadn’t taken the Players long to strike on one of the biggest sources of Shin’s worry: neither he nor anyone else he could think to ask had any clue what might cost that many Royal Coins. As far as Shin could tell, the vast majority of uses citizens could make of Royal Coins were simply time savers. Need to repair a building, or restock a granary, or renew a garrison? Don’t have any time to waste? It could be finished in an instant for the price of one Royal Coin. It wasn’t flashy, it wasn’t particularly exciting, but Shin had already personally demonstrated the impact such a cheat could have.

Nearly all of the single Coin options were of that type, as were most of the two Coin ones. But Shin had been unable to glean what was available for three Coins, let alone over a hundred, because beyond Level Two all of the entries had been blanked out. Shin suspected they could only be seen by someone who actually had the Coins to spend, and unfortunately the only individual he knew of with that knowledge was almost certainly trying to kill him.

So to his deep personal annoyance, the only response Shin could offer the two Players was a helpless shrug. “If my personal experiences are any evidence? They can be spent to give me a massive headache.”

Bex grinned, reaching out to poke Shin in the forehead. “It’d take that many Royal Coins to muck up that big ol’ brain of yours, Shin.”

Gero nodded in grave agreement. “It’s true. He has a large head.”

“Ha!” The honorary kobold popped her fists onto her hips, offering Shin a courageous grin. “Well don’t worry, because I’m back to help get you through this messy business!”

Shin tilted his head. “Oh? Does that mean you–”

“That’s right!” Bex flashed a pearly white smile as she drew herself up even taller. “I’m Level Twenty now! Let’s go do my Class Selection!”