Despite having risen above his humble origins, Shin was still in many ways a simple man. His pack may have expanded from a single dank cave to three entire zones, and rather than drunken outpost guards he now contended with kings. But he hadn’t become some preening dandy, adorned in ruffled lace and sipping potable gold or whatever else it was the fancier denizens of Magica did. He had simpler tastes.

A relaxed conversation with old friends. Watching the colors cast by swimming fish. Admiring something that happened to be bigger than something else. It was these unassuming delights that brought joy to the hours of Shin’s days. But he was beginning to discover that his uncomplicated palate may have changed more than he’d thought. Because the sight of a Player storming away in an impotent huff, so confounded by Shin’s words that he had to physically leave the room?

That was a sweetness as darkly rich and decadent as any that had ever existed. Maybe those preening dandies and their complicated tastes were onto something. Shinki Itten probably had a gold decanter in storage somewhere, right?

JD’s philosophical collapse brought up remarkably familiar feelings for the devious kobold. This was a being from another world, imbued with awesome powers and functional immortality, and all it took to throw him off his game was being exposed to a few complicated thoughts. This was exactly like that moment in the guards’ barracks, what seemed like an age ago, when Shin watched the men that had been the source of all his fears fall flat on their faces at the first sign of adversity.

Because Players were mysterious, and powerful, and genuinely threatening. But they were also just people. And people, whatever else they might be, were weak, and stupid, and liable to be their own worst enemies.

Good.

Shin allowed himself another moment of indulging in the memory of JD’s stricken eyes and the dark cloud that crossed Galwenlas’s face, then forced himself to refocus. This had been only a small skirmish in Operation Ruin These Guys’ Lives. “I wonder, Bex,” Shin idly remarked, “What sort of things might keep a Player from coming back to our world?”

The honorary kobold blinked. “I…have no idea if I’m allowed to talk about that. I can’t believe you’re even able to ask me that.”

“I heard a few complain about a Subscription,” Bittercup offered, still shaken from the Players’ confrontation but clearly intrigued by this particular topic. “They’re apparently really expensive, even before the cost of Royal Coins. Those are very expensive.”

“I actually have about six dozen questions about those,” Shin started, his tone cautious, “But I don’t want to pressure you into talking about them if it’s too upsetting.”

The elf shook her head. “No, it’s fine.” She let out a deep breath. “I can talk about it. And if it’s to hurt them somehow, I can definitely talk about it.”

Bex shook her head, her eyes still wide. “Two Magica characters are discussing getting revenge on people outside of Magica. That is butt fucking insane. Is this the Singularity?” She stared at Shin. “Are you SkyNet?!”

Shin tilted his head. “I don’t know what that is. So…maybe?”

“I…” Bex shook her head, her troubled expression replaced by a set jaw. “No, I’m fine. It’s okay. These guys deserve it, I just…have a lot to think about.”

“There seems to be a lot of that going around.” Shin offered Bex a small smile, then looked back to Bittercup. “Okay, just one question for now: How do Players actually get Royal Coins? Bex got hers from some sort of package; is that how everyone gets them?”

Bittercup shook her head. “No, most Players buy them separately. There’s an Interface they can use? But you can also buy them directly from a side. Apparently we get more benefit that way, because the managers of the Repasts always tried to get Players to buy direct.”

Interesting. “How does that work?”

“They give you a Code and you punch it into the System for them. Apparently it’s how Players pay for things.”

“Really?” Shin considered that. “So if you had their Code, could you–”

The woman quickly waved her hands. “No no, definitely not. Once a Player’s given you their Code, there’s this…” She shuddered, shaking herself before she could continue on, “You get this, like, sense of overwhelming dread at the idea of using it for anything besides what they asked for. I heard that an old Manager of ours tried it, once? They said it took him six hours of nonstop flame vomiting to die.”

Woof. Vomiting Flames was another taste Shin had thankfully yet to acquire. “Alright, well, maybe let’s shelve that idea for now.” He started for the door, giving Bittercup a questioning look over his shoulder. “Bex and I should go after him, but if you’d rather stay here…?”

The woman quickly stood up. “No; I’m coming too. If something else happens, I want to be there to see it. Besides,” –She narrowed an eye at Shin– “I still don’t trust you. Especially now that you know I’m apparently the most valuable elf in the world. If you start getting up to nonsense, I want to be in range to bonk you over the head and start running.”

Dealing with someone with clear vision and their head firmly attached to their shoulders. That was another simple pleasure, albeit a vanishingly rare one. Though maybe the threat of being personally battered silly turned it into a complicated one?

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

He’d have to ask the next preening dandy he happened to come across.

——————————————————————————————————————

It was not hard to find where Galwenlas went.

More broadly, it wasn’t hard to find where literally everybody in the fortress had gone. Every single person in the fortress seemed to have gathered in the courtyard, watching in awe as the staredown between Gero and the beastman Naotodate raged on.

That made it…nearly twenty minutes of nonstop staring? Was ‘Never Blink’ a Class Trait for Bruisers or something? That was…entirely possible, actually. Whether it was from some special ability or sheer bloody-mindedness, however, Gero’s refusal to back down was clearly driving Date into a state of berserker frenzy. The tiger-headed Player roared in wordless fury, every muscle in his powerful body bulging with tension as he put everything he had into willing his kobold opponent into submission.

But Gero wouldn’t budge. There would be only one way to settle this.

“VERY WELL THEN!” Date boomed, pounding both fists into his massive chest. “If it’s a FIGHT you want, then I. SHALL. GIVE YOU ONE!”

Galwenlas folded his arms, his lips pursed. “Have you already forgotten our mission? His Majesty sent us to talk with–”

“He sent you to talk,” Date interjected, rolling out his neck as he and Gero slowly began to circle one another. “He sent me to fight.”

The Grand Elf tsked. “Don’t you care that a fight may very well result in the Lady Bittercup being–”

“That’s your concern.” The beastman spared a sideways glance for his companion, scorn dripping from his feline eyes. “I took this job so Glandem would give me access to Quercus’s Grappler Master. You took this job so you could keep looking at tits. So I’m gonna do what I was sent here to do, and if something happens to Whoever Cup then I don’t really give a shit.” He cocked an eyebrow at the elven woman in question. “No offense.”

Bittercup could only manage a helpless shrug. “Okay?”

With that apparently settled, Date turned his attention back to Gero. “So this is the deal! If you win, I’ll respawn in Quercus and just turn around and walk in the other direction. But if I win, I’m taking the elf back with me.”

Gero raised her hackles, though she continued to stretch out her arms. “She didn’t agree to that. I’m not turning another person into a prize.”

Date yowled out something that might have been a laugh. “True, but there’s no other choice. If I win I’m taking her, and if anyone tries to stop me?” He raised his voice into a roar as he whirled around, trumpeting his challenge to the gathered kobolds and hobgoblins. “I’ll NEVER stop coming back for her! This fort will run RED with MY BLOOD, AND YOURS!”

Shit but did this guy like to yell.

It didn’t sound like there was much of a choice, though. The Players had always had the option of declaring all out war, and Date just put that threat on the table. The only options were to agree to his terms, or prepare for potentially endless fighting.

Shin caught Gero’s eye, one ear tilting in a question. The woman held his gaze for a moment, then perked both ears up as she turned her focus back on her opponent. So she was confident. Good. Okay.

Naotodate thumped his fists into his chest again, his golden eyes twin orbs of fire. “FINALLY! After so much time with those two DEVIANTS, I can FINALLY face off against a TRUE warrior! Now let us FIGHT…”

Outrageously aggressive though he may be, Date seemed like he might be cut from better cloth than the other two Players. Maybe this would be–

“...TO THE DEATH!”

Shin was immediately between the two combatants, his eyes locked onto Date’s. “Are you serious?”

“Of course!” the beastman thundered, “I ONLY fight to the death! That is the way of TRUE warriors!”

“Okay sure whatever, but don’t you think that’s pretty lopsided?” Shin scowled at Date, his own rage beginning to boil over. “If you die, you get to just stand back up afterwards. If Gero dies she’s just gone.”

Something in that seemingly managed to pierce the Grappler’s maelstrom of martial passion, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Hm. I suppose she does have more on the line, if you think about it that way. That isn’t an even fight.”

Shin was honestly a little surprised the Player had grasped his meaning so readily, but he wasn’t about to question a gift. “No, it’s not.”

“Very well then!” Date raised a hand grandly, booming out in his most theatrical voice. “Then I shall also add” –A large, familiar disc appeared above his palm– “This ROYAL COIN to the wager!”

Date hadn’t grasped Shin’s meaning. He hadn’t grasped shit. “...Are you trying to suggest,” Shin started, his voice low and dangerous, “That Gero’s life is worth a Royal Coin?”

The beastman blinked. “...isn’t it?”

Before Shin could declare a start to all-out war by hurling himself at the Grappler teeth-first, a voice called out from the crowd. “How presumptuous~! You’re ten years too early for a challenge like that, cat!”

“Who said that?” Naotodate snarled, his eyes whipping across the assembled faces. “Who dares?!”

The crowd parted and Bex stepped forward, the resolve Shin had seen enter her expression back in Bittercup’s room now beaming from her every pore. “I did! And if you want to fight my Master, you’re going to fight me first!”