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Dog Days in a Leashed World
61. The Most Earthly Place on Magica, Part One

61. The Most Earthly Place on Magica, Part One

Shin didn’t pretend that he knew what awaited him in Magica City. He’d been told plenty of times about how different things were at the heart of the Destined Path from his little Procedural corner of the world, of course. But actual details had been curiously sparse. Though really, how different could it be? Shinki Itten was a city, Magica City was a city. People lived in both places, worked in both places, and dreamed in both places. Right? Wasn’t everything else just window dressing?

Whatever the kobold expected, however, the night sky evaporating into the cheery glare of noon the moment the tip of Magica City’s tallest spire appeared over the horizon was not it.

Bittercup clucked her tongue regretfully as the kobolds rubbed at their eyes, the unsuspecting pups momentarily blinded by the sudden influx of light. “Oh right, sorry. I should have mentioned this. Magica City Fact Number One: It’s never night in Magica City.”

“What?” Momo balked, squinting bleary-eyed at the elf. “It’s never night? How? Why?”

“Well I’m sure I don’t know how,” Bittercup grimaced, “But as to why? King Glandem said it was so Players would lose track of time. Apparently a massive percentage of Players never go anywhere besides Magica City, and the moderators want them active and engaged for every second they’re there.”

Shin tilted his head slightly, letting this new information sink in. If it was always daytime in Magica City…when did people sleep? Just whenever they were tired? Or in rotation shifts or something? Shin now knew one thing about Magica City, and it was already enough to haunt his waking thoughts. Fortunately for the Schemer, his feverish musings were interrupted when Ann pointed at something over the starboard railing, huffing in annoyance. “Aw man, the Seahemoth is already down!”

The dwarf seemed to be indicating the large group of ships gathered off in the distance. With the aid of some strategic squinting, though, Shin was able to make out some sort of massive tentacled form writhing its death throes amidst the hulls and prows. “That’s good though, right?” Shin hesitantly offered. “A giant monster like that was probably dangerous for anyone sailing out of the city?”

“Eh? No, no.” Ann shook her head. “It’s a World Boss so it can’t really leave its area. And it’ll be up again in like an hour anyway, soo…” She turned around to shoot Lizan a hopeful look. “Maybe we could stick around and–”

The other Player wasn’t having it, however. He interrupted the call he was taking through a prompt screen just long enough to scowl down at Balanthora. “Not a chance; I’m dropping you lot off and turning right back around. I’m on the line with guild brass, trying to figure out how to get all of Pilar’s stuff back from the stomach of a fucking fish, so don’t interrupt me again.”

The dwarf quickly nodded. “Oh cool, um, well then lemme just say that this was fun, and I–”

“Yeah cool whatever.”

Ann stared at Lizan as he turned his back to her, marching off to the ship’s cabin and slamming the door behind him. For a moment, Shin thought the girl might burst into tears. But they never came. Instead, the dwarf stuck out her tongue and flashed the shut cabin door an incredibly vulgar gesture. “Well fine, whatever! I didn’t want to kill the Seahemoth anyway; the Landviathan’s loot is way better. So bleh!”

Gero chuckled at that, reaching down to affectionately tousle the dwarf’s hair. “You tell him, Ann.”

“Hehe~, yeah?” The girl’s grin was in serious danger of exploding off of her face as she basked in the warmth of Gero’s approval. “Do you guys, um, wanna come and watch me do the turn-in? It’s supposed to be really exciting!”

“I know I’m intrigued,” Shin replied, opting not to mention that they were headed to the same place anyway. “What do you say, people?”

As the others nodded their confirmation, Ann bounced up and down in glee. “Awesome~!” She turned to dash toward the guest cabins, her pigtails whipping madly as she called back over her shoulder. “I gotta grab the rest of my stuff; watch my bag for me!”

“We should collect our things, too,” Momo announced, though not before casting a sidelong glance towards Sin. “We need to rifle through what we brought to try and find a new gift for King Majesty. Since, you know, someone used the bottle of sake we brought to get someone tactically drunk.”

“You knew I was a schemer when you followed me out of our cave, Momo,” Shin replied, completely unrepentant. “It’s a bit late to start regretting that now, don’t you think?”

The priestess huffed good-naturally as she strolled off towards the cabin, Gero and Bittercup following after. Mimasu lingered, however, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with the end of his quill. “I know we have a lot going on,” the scribe began, his usually chipper voice hesitant, “But aren’t you worried that you’ve made an enemy out of one of the most powerful Player guilds in Magica?”

Shin stared back at Mimasu, arms folded and his ears perked forward. “I dunno, Mimi. Do you think I should be worried?”

The small kobold considered that for a moment. “Well…I don’t know either?”

“Sounds like ‘I don’t know’ is the consensus answer then, doesn’t it.”

Mimasu leaned in, giving Shin a probing look. “Oh, is this another long term scheme? Like, is this all going to play out in some way that only becomes clear weeks and weeks from now?”

The other kobold raised his eyebrows. “I dunno, Mimi. Do you think it’s another scheme?”

“I don’t…” The scribe trailed off, an understanding look blooming across his face. “Ohhh, okay. Right. I shouldn’t try to spoil the ending this early in the game, right? That’s what you’re saying?” He must have decided it was, because he turned to trot away before Shin could respond. “Got it; I totally got it. I’ll go help with the bags; don’t let me get in the way of the schemes! Just, you know, tell me what you did once you’ve done it!”

Shin watched Mimasu depart for a moment, taking a long sniff of the salt air before exhaling in a sigh. He already missed Shinki Itten.

“Something troubling you, friend?”

Glancing down at the bag Balanthora had left him to mind, Shin cracked it open and was unsurprised to find the still-living head of the Demon King staring sympathetically up at him. This was still so weird, but honestly? Shin didn’t mind the chance to vent his feelings a bit. “I guess. Things are just…so much more complicated now.”

Regalus Vileblood hummed thoughtfully, the clawed eyebrows of his myriad sets of eyes furrowing. “Do you want to talk about it, Shin?”

The Schemer shrugged, leaning back against the railing. As baffling as the sudden shift to Magica City-mandated daytime had been, he had to admit the sunshine felt good. “I suppose I just miss the clarity of purpose I had when we were working to overthrow the fortress. Like, I can’t say for sure that every step I made was right, but I did know that every step was a step forward. Now?” He sighed. “Yeah, I dunno. It feels like every day brings something new to muddy the path. It’s not just that I’m not sure I’m moving forward; sometimes I wonder if I know what I’m walking towards.”

The Demon King nodded thoughtfully along with Shin’s confession, or at least as best as he could manage without a neck. “Hm.” At length he spoke, his tone carefully considered. “Well, Shin, we haven’t known each other very long, but I already know that you’re a really smart guy. Maybe too smart, sometimes?” He quirked two of his eyebrows, offering the kobold a probing look. “I think sometimes if you try to see all the angles on something, you can lose sight of what you’re actually looking at. Yeah?”

Shin nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

“And you know,” the decapitated head continued on, “I also think you’ve got some pretty smart friends, and they obviously think the world of you. Maybe you should consider sharing your burdens with them? I mean, I’d be happy to help shoulder the load, but,” –He wobbled about in the bag, a light smile playing over his upper mouth– “No shoulders.”

Almost in spite of himself, Shin chuckled. “That is dark as hell.”

Vileblood managed an apologetic smile, though he was clearly pleased to have amused his new friend. “Sorry, it’s so rare that I get to indulge in a bit of decapitation humor. Do you feel better though, Shin?”

“Yeah,” the kobold admitted, “I think I do. Thanks.”

“Though, I do have one other suggestion. If you want to hear it?”

Shin nodded. “Sure, what is it?”

The Demon King grinned. “You could always take my cursed flesh into your own. You know, Become a newly forged prison of flesh for nightmarish powers that grant horrible strength, even as they devour our newfound oneness from the inside? Play both grim mother and blasphemous child for the birth that will end all things? Does that have any appeal?”

Shin’s face froze. “Uh? I–”

“I should warn you though,” The Demon King interrupted, adopting a serious tone that would have been more appropriate for a parent explaining to a child that a stove was hot, “Merging with me would probably obliterate your consciousness, or at best leave you as a sort of helpless passenger in your own body as I went about my Dark Work. So you should really give it some thought before saying yes.” He hummed again, clearly weighing the issue. “I dunno, it seems like you have a pretty good thing going on already? But I mean, if you really want to, I suppose it’d be–”

“No!” Shin interjected as quickly as he could manage. When the Demon King raised his eyebrows in response, however, the Schemer did his best to ignore the cold sweat running down his neck as he adopted a more casual tone. “No, I mean, I think you’re right. I should probably just put the work in on my problems instead of running away from them to be a, um, flesh prison. Right?”

Vileblood almost seemed relieved. “I think that’s pretty brave, Shin. Maybe you can’t see your path anymore, but from where I’m sitting? This absolutely looks like a step forward.” His expression abruptly brightened, blood soaking his chin as his own fangs momentarily pierced his jaw. “And hey! We could always do the whole flesh prison thing later, right? Once you’re in a more harmonious place? You take all the time you need for you, and just know that I’ll always be waiting.”

The Demon King’s grin stretched just a little wider. “I’ll always be waiting.”

Shin gulped. “Um. Great. Thanks for…um, great.”

With that the severed head of Regalus Vileblood froze once more into its rictus grin, and Shin became aware of Balanthora calling out to him. “ –should be everything, I think? Right? Shin?”

“Yes,” the kobold blurted out, shoving the bag back into the Player’s hands. “Let’s go get this turned in right away. Immediately. Like, as soon as possible.”

As much as Shin didn’t know what waited for him in Magica City, he did know he didn’t want to know more about what awaited him in that bag. The Demon King was a good listener, and had some surprisingly sound advice to offer. But Shin still had enough clarity of purpose to know that bringing their burgeoning friendship any closer would wind up being a bad choice. And that ‘closer’ would be significantly closer than he’d have preferred. Woof.

Fortunately, the sight of Magica City creeping ever closer was more than enough to distract Shin from shudder-inducing thoughts of what precisely a ‘flesh prison’ was. Even from a distance it was clear that the entirety of Shinki Itten, farmlands and fortresses and all, would easily fit without the borders of Magica’s capital. Many times over, by a conservative estimate.

“Wow”, Gero muttered, joining Shin at the railings as they both stared at what could only have been Magica Castle. “It’s…Big.”

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

Yes it was. The spiraling pinnacles of the grand castle pierced the clear skies above like the ornaments on a massive crown, resting grandly on the brow of Magica City to declare its kingly majesty. At least two dozen spires curved upwards around the colossal central tower, extending gracefully from gleaming stone walls and inner keeps that could have easily been considered castles in their own rights.

Every man, woman and child currently living in Shinki Itten could have lived in that castle with room to spare. Goddess. Think of the sleeping ball of kobolds they could form.

Lizan was shoving them onto the docks almost before they’d even come to a halt, already screaming out for his crew to turn the ship back around as the Shinki Itten contingent hurried off of the VI Victrix. Ann shifted her grip on her things to offer the tuned-out Player a final vulgar gesture, then huffed. “Man, what a pair of jerks. I wouldn’t join Gladius now even if they asked me.” She paused, immediately reconsidering. “Well, I mean. Maybe if they asked nicely; it would actually be a huge opportunity and–”

She gulped, pulling on a pigtail as she glanced hopefully at Shin. “He didn’t see me do that, did he?”

Shin shrugged noncommittally as Momo leaned in, flashing the girl an encouraging smile. “Don’t worry about him, Ann! Don’t you need to report your success to the King?”

“Oh! Right! Yes!” The girl adjusted her grip on the bag containing the Demon King’s head, a determined light in her eyes. “I know the way, follow me!”

Even having never been to Magica City, Shin was fairly certain he knew the way, too. The whole city seemed to be designed with Magica Castle at its dead center, and every major street radiated directly out from that august structure. But he barely had the focus to do anything more than note the city’s layout, because the sheer number of people here was overwhelming. And they were almost all Players.

Everywhere Shin looked there were more Players than he’d ever seen before, and in more forms than he could have ever imagined. Some he’d seen before, like the Grand Elves raucously partying on the ship docked beside them and the collection of animal-headed Beastmen bizarrely performing some sort of synchronized dance in just their underwear. But there was so much more to see. In this central most place in all of the world, the panoply that was Magica had been laid before them.

There were also dwarves fishing off the pier, feathered bird-people haggling with the merchants that lined the road, red-skinned ogres with small horns that towered over even Gero crammed into a dockside pub’s outdoor garden, and stranger beings still. Even the humans that made up the bulk of the immediate populate were of a variety that Shin had never thought possible.

Many seemed normal, a few here and there were clearly No Ones, but every so often Shin would spot a human Player with bright green skin or stripes or hair that somehow stood straight up several feet in the air. One man had somehow shifted his eyes to be nearly on either side of his head, forcing him to swivel his neck back and forth to properly examine the hats he was pursuing.

Shin couldn’t resist making a game out of it, nudging Gero with his elbow. “Look over there,” he said, indicating Side Eyes. “Can you find someone better?”

The woman grinned, her eyes quickly scanning the crowded docks. “Oh!” She jerked her thumb towards a man who had seemingly made his facial features as small as possible and his actual head as large as possible, his tiny expression very serious as he typed something into a prompt window. “Top that!”

“Easy, already done.” Shin nodded towards a woman who by all appearances had somehow randomized her face, her eyes the literal eye in the storm of impressionistic madness that was her head. “So I win? I win, right?”

“No chance I’m giving up, I just need to–” Gero’s voice cracked as a gasp of surprise burst through her sentence. “Oh Goddess, Shin! Look at that!”

“Eh?” Shin tilted his head, following Gero’s outstretched arm to peer at a seemingly mundane man buying something from what appeared to be a weapons vendor. “I don’t see what you–”

He couldn’t hold back a gasp of his own as he realized that the man was buying what seemed to be bags filled with something violently squirming. Shin tuned up his Enhanced Senses and, sure enough, the bags were buzzing. “Bag Full of Wasps!” Shin cried out, not sure if he was delighted or horrified. “He’s buying Bags Full of Wasps!”

Gero shook her head in disbelief. “This is so amazing and I hate it so much.”

“Magica City Fact Number Two,” Bittercup hissed, shoving her way in front of Gero and Shin, “Don’t do anything suspicious or that draws attention. Like, say, staring and pointing and loudly chattering about people.”

“Isn’t this a Sanctuary, though?” Gero questioned, her ears perked resolutely forward. “Players can’t attack us here, can they?”

“Players can’t, but regular people can.” The elf subtly gestured with her head towards the figure in gold and white enameled armor that stood nearby, a massive halberd clutched in his hands. “That includes Magica City Guards. And Magica City Guards do not fuck around.”

Now that she mentioned it there were a bunch of guards just within eyeshot, each as identically imposing as the last. And while it was difficult to know for sure with their feather plumed helms, at least a few absolutely seemed to be watching the group. Gero grimaced, her ears folding back in resignation. “Ah. Whoops.”

“Come on, come on!” Ann insisted, impatiently hopping up and down. “Let’s get to the castle already! I’m so excited I could just shit!”

“Please don’t,” Momo suggested. “But please do lead the way.”

With an eager nod, the Player turned to march the Shinki Itten contingent down the road from the docks straight towards the looming grandeur that was Magica Castle. At first it was a slog, the group forced to practically elbow their way through the throngs of Players and citizens that choked the streets. But then an audible murmur began to rumble within the crowd, more and more people pointing and whispering as Balanthora walked by. Before too long the guards had moved to clear a path for the dwarf, lining up beside her and her new companions in an honor guard as they escorted her directly to the palatial steps of the castle.

Unlike the citizens, the other Players Ann passed ranged from bored to unphased at her grand parade, continuing to go about their business without a second glance for her triumphant approach. But the dwarf paid them no mind, so puffed up with pride at her welcome that she seemed a full two feet taller. Up the pristine marble steps they strode, guards snapping to attention as they passed, only to be stopped at the grand entrance.

“Who goes there!” One of the guards arranged in a defensive formation before the castle doors called. “What business have you with the Court of King Majesty!”

Before Ann or any of the others could respond, one of the guards escorting them called back. “A hero, returned from the Lands of Inchoate Horror! She brings news of the Demon King!”

A theatrical gasp rang out from behind the blockading guards, a slim bespectacled man clutching a scroll squeezing his way through. “My word! Archmage Balanthora, you encountered Regalus Vileblood himself? And survived to tell the tale?”

“I did more than just survive!” Ann confidently replied, “But my report must be personally given to King Majesty!”

“Of course; without question of course!” He swatted the guards with his scroll, shooing them to make room. “Let her through you brutes, let her through! Her and her, um…” He trailed off, noticing the kobolds and Bittercup for the first time. The steward’s eyes met Shin’s, and for an unsettling moment his face went entirely blank, as if there was simply nothing behind it. But it passed almost as soon as it came, the man raising his eyebrows questioningly. “Are you companions of the hero?”

“Um…in a sense?” Shin hesitantly started, unsure of how much he should commit to. “But we’ve also received our own summons from the King, we’re–”

The steward quickly waved his hand towards the guards. “Seat the hero’s companions in the viewing gallery and clear all other petitioners! We must get the archmage before His Highness at once!”

Before Shin could say anything further the guards pressed forward, quickly ushering him and his friends into the castle itself. They were marched at such a fast pace that Magica Castle’s luxurious interior passed by in a blur of ornate tapestries and beautiful statues, every guard and member of the castle staff they passed abuzz with rumors about Ann’s arrival.

Before long they found themselves deposited into seats in a balcony over what must have been the throne room, the immaculately dressed man Shin found himself seated beside shooting the kobold a bemused look. “Hey. You’re petitioners too?”

Still dazed from the sudden bums' rush, Shin could barely manage more than a nod. “Um, yeah. What’s…uh, this?”

“This is the queue.” He bobbed his turban-wrapped head towards the end of the balcony, indicating around twenty other petitioners filling up the other seats. “Those are the other people in front of you. Castle staff keeps us up here so we aren’t in the way of the Players.”

“Oh.” Shin considered that for a moment, then straightened up. “Oh! So this is where it all happens? Does that mean–?”

The kobold leaned forward in his seat, and sure enough that could only be him, seated upon his glorious throne. King Majesty. Shin hadn’t been sure what he was expecting, but there was no question about it: Everything about this man simply screamed ‘kingly’. He was clearly an older man, his thick beard more salt than pepper, yet still broad shouldered and straight backed with an entirely youthful vigor. His toffee-toned face was creased with lines that made him seem simultaneously wise and good-hearted, and in the prismatic light cast from the ceiling to floor stained glass windows behind his throne, he seemed equally regal and mystical.

Something was…not entirely right about the eyes, though. Maybe it was a trick of the light, or Shin’s imagination, but…they didn’t seem to focus quite right. At first glance he seemed to be listening intently to whatever it was Balanthora was saying, but if he stared hard enough Shin could tell he wasn’t quite looking directly at where she knelt before his throne. It was…unsettling.

Shin shook his head, glancing away from King Majesty to inspect the two figures standing to either side of his throne. The serious looking yet pretty girl to his left, her auburn hair tied up in an elaborate bun, was certainly too young to be the Queen. So the Princess, maybe? She nodded along intently to Ann’s tale, clearly quite engrossed with the dwarf’s report on her own heroics. So far, well within the realms of normal.

To the King’s right, though, was a man in pitch black robes, a sort of skull cap on his dome of a head and a sharp, greasy little goatee jutting out from his chin. He kept rubbing his hands together? And looking shiftily back and forth? And occasionally he clearly had to restrain himself from cackling aloud? Shin’s neighbor must have noticed his stare, because he leaned in for a whisper. “That’s Caspazar Melchior,” he said, before adding as if it was the most natural thing in the world, “The Evil Prime Minister.”

Gero leaned awkwardly over her chair, eyeing the helpful man in disbelief. “The Evil Prime Minister? They know he’s evil?”

“Sure, yeah,” the man shrugged. “I mean…look at him, right?”

Shin looked again, and sure. Yeah. Pretty blatantly evil. “Why do they keep him around then?”

The man shrugged again. “So the Players can kill him when they hit a certain point in the story? Sorry if I sound blase, but I’ve seen this, like, a hundred times already.” He pointed down towards where Balanthora was reaching into her bag. “Look, she’s going to do the reveal, and then Regalus will–”

He was drowned out by Ann’s voice booming out to fill the chamber as she lifted the severed head of Regalus Vileblood into the air. “The Demon King is dead!”

A gasp ripped its way through the throne room, everyone besides the quite bored looking citizens filling the balcony shocked into a state of frenzy. The chatter and babbles from the crowd grew and grew, until King Majesty rose from his throne and threw out his hands. At that, the crowd fell silent.

And the King spoke.

“Archmage Balanthora,” he began, his deep voice bringing to mind a sort of audible velvet. “You have done Magica City,” –He paused, emotionally screwing his eyes closed before correcting himself– “No. All of the Kingdoms of Magica a service that we can never repay. Every man, woman and child, both living and yet to be born, owes their lives to your valor. It is a pitiful reward, but please accept this foolish King’s heartfelt thanks.”

With that the King himself bent into a bow, the chamber once again breaking out into shocked gasps. But then the Princess quickly mirrored her father, and a moment later the Evil Prime Minister begrudgingly did so as well. Before long the entire court had bowed before Balanthora, and Shin was quite certain the girl would burst into flames from sheer glee.

“And now!” King Majesty called out, rising from his bow. “Let us all join together and hail Archmage Balanthora, the Savior of–”

“FOOLS!”

Ann gasped in delight as the head of the Demon King pulled itself out of her hands, levitating itself into mid air as its blood-dripping mouths began to hiss out a multi-toned speech. “You think you have won?! With my demise, the prison that I stood vigil over for so long is left unguarded! Seven seals break, seven gates fall, and the Doom that Walks is unleashed once again by your careless hands!” The Demon King’s head spun in mid air, its dozens of eyes gleaming as it cackled in fiendish delight. “I should thank you, hero! My untimely death has spared me from the suffering that will surely now come for all of you! Even in victory you lose, King Majesty! Even in death I win, brother!”

And with a final peal of demonic laughter, a crash of thunder booming through the audience chamber as Regalus Vileblood went still once again. The court murmured intently as the head fell to splat messily on the chamber’s carpet, trying and failing to make sense of this new development. Only King Majesty seemed unsurprised. Concerned, yes. But unsurprised.

“There isn’t a Doom that Walks.”

“Huh?” Shin tilted his head at his neighbor. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, you seemed a little nervous about the whole ‘floating demon head prophecy’ thing. But whatever it is he’s talking about doesn’t actually exist in Magica.” The man reconsidered. “Well, not right now anyway. The System is supposed to create it somewhere, but it’s apparently been years. So yeah. Don’t be worried.”

“Right, um, thanks. I'll stay focused on...non-walking Doom for now.” The man wasn't wrong; Shin had definitely seized up at the end of Vileblood's pronouncement. But it wasn't due to anything he said. It was simply that, just before the life faded from his dozens of eyes, the kobold would have sworn the Demon King winked at him.

Shin watched as Balanthora was ushered into a back room for debriefing, dazedly returning the wave that the girl craned around to offer her friends in the balcony. “Okay, well that was…fun I guess?” The kobold let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding before glancing across the petitioner’s balcony. “So there are, what, about twenty people ahead of us? So this won’t take that long, right?”

The man raised his eyebrows. “Well, twenty of us and whichever Players wander in.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that’s the start of the line,” –He indicated the gnome seated at the far end of the balcony– “But any Players who want to talk to the Court go straight to the front of the line. Oh, see?” He pointed out the lanky human who was ambling up to the throne, none of the guards or courtiers or even the King himself apparently concerned that he was dressed in nothing more than a cloak and a bikini bottom. “Rule of thumb is that it’s going to be like ten players before any of us get a turn, every single time.”

“Magica City Fact Number Three,” Bittercup intoned, already flipping through the book she produced from her bags, “Players Always Come First.” She looked up from her reading long enough to cock an eyebrow at Shin. “Though really, you should have known that one already.”

Well.

Shit.