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Dog Days in a Leashed World
24. The Rice Cracker Council

24. The Rice Cracker Council

“–So that’s the long and short of it. If something called a Mod decides we aren’t interesting, we might wind up erased from existence.” Shin spread his hands out on the table, searching out the eyes of the other villagers. “Thoughts?”

Silence pressed down over the assembled kobolds, and Shin couldn’t blame them. He’d just told them all that the purpose of their lives was to act as amusement of capricious beings from some other level of existence. Gero and Momo had obviously started out with him as mongrels, as had the other four kobolds Shin had summoned. So he’d hoped that the similarities between their old state of being and their new one might soften the blow? But even still, this was a tough dose to take.

No, it was more than that. Sure, as mongrels they’d lived and died on the whims of supposedly ‘higher’ beings. But beyond the basic dignity of all thinking and feeling beings, as mongrels they’d had very little to live for. Now? Now they had a home, now they had families. Even the least charitable of observers should have been able to take one look at the bustling life of Shinki Itten Village and known for a fact that her inhabitants were full-fledged people, with all the rights that ought to deserve.

At length, Kaiteki broke the silence. “If I’d know this meeting was going to be this serious, I probably wouldn’t have brought all these snacks. I feel like it’s inappropriate that I brought so many snacks.”

That broke the floodgates. “No way!”

“We really appreciate it!”

“I think there should be more snacks, If I’m being–”

“–me that I want to get the recipe for these rice crackers before–”

“Snacks forever!”

“I think we all agree that this is some pretty serious nonsense,” Gero raised her voice, cutting through the crosstalk, “But also that it’s easier to handle thanks to Kaiteki’s great snacks.”

She rose from her seat, and soon all of the kobolds were giving the blushing Kaiteki a round of applause. Maybe they were taking this better than Shin had given them credit for.

As the ovation died down, Hanbun cleared her throat. “So it sounds like we’ve got two problems: we need to become a Sanctuary to protect us from the Players, and we need to offer something interesting to protect us from the Mods. Right?”

“Yes, that’s right. But,”–Shin tapped a finger to the tabletop–”Both clocks have to ring at the same time. Even as a Sanctuary, the Mods could still Prune us.”

“...And if we make ourselves appealing to the Players before we’re protected as a Sanctuary, they’ll chew us up.” Momo finished, frowning slightly. “Getting Pruned almost sounds more appealing.”

Dyu raised his hand. “What about the Player that’s already here? Do we need to worry about her?”

“Bex?” Shin drummed his fingers across the table, trying to decide what to say. “...I think it would probably be unwise to fully trust any Player. Maybe ever. But she seems manageable.”

“And she’s only Level One, without many ways to gain Experience in this zone,” Gero pointed out. “Push come to shove, while it’s just her? We could handle her.”

“We could, sure.” Hanbun spun a finger around, indicating the kobolds gathered in the meeting hall. “But all of us fought at the Outpost. The new villagers are mostly Level One and Two. Even without a single point of Experience and completely naked, a Player who truly wanted to could kill any number of them before one of us brought them down.”

Shin nodded. “Which is why physical confrontation with Players should only be a last resort. And why I think that, for the time being, Bex should be assigned an escort whenever possible.”

Gero snorted. “I’ll babysit her. I’ve got the most experience dealing with Players, after all.”

“Huh.” Shin flicked his ears in mock confusion. “I seem to remember having had something to do with that myself. Something with an arrow, and an exploding still…”

The big kobold narrowed her eyes. “I also have the most experience putting up with unbearable smartasses, so it’s a natural fit.”

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Well. Hard to argue against that.

“I’m not really sure what to do about the ‘more interesting’ thing,” Dyu started, fiddling his hat between his hands. “I think our village is plenty interesting already. But do we know how to become a Sanctuary yet?”

“Yes, we did a bit of research.” Shin glanced over his shoulder. “Mimi?”

The scribe perked up, flipping through the pages of his tome. “Ah, yes~! The primary way of becoming a Sanctuary is by increasing the associated Tribe’s Strength to Level Three, and then performing an appropriate dedication to become a full-fledged Faction.”

“A Faction?” Kaiteki tilted his head. “What’s that?”

Shita leaned in. “It doesn’t really matter much yet, does it? We aren’t even a Level Two Tribe right now, let alone Level Three.”

The farmer shrugged. “Okay, how do we become a Level Two Tribe then?”

That was a bit of good news Shin could share, at least. “That’s based on food stores, class diversity and overall Experience Level of the Tribe. The only one of those we haven’t already surpassed is the Storage Progress Bar, and we should reach that before the week is out. That’ll double our Population Cap and give us our first Class Upgrade.”

Excited murmurs echoed across the table, each of the gathered kobolds excited over the prospect of more pack members and their own personal growth. Momo waited for the chatter to die down before speaking up. “What about Level Three?”

Shin sighed. “That’s…going to be a little trickier.”

Mimi chimed in. “Level Three requires more resources and population than a single Level Two Settlement can produce. The best way to meet those goals seems to be gaining control of more Conquest Sites. Two more should do it, we think?”

“Oh!” Gero perked up. “What about the waystation in the next zone? The elves can’t have gotten to it already, right? Maybe if we take that over, and Higen manages to find more mongrels, we can hit the population requirements?”

“We Razed the waystation for experience, remember?” Shin shook his head. “It was the right call at the time, but…ugh. Rebuilding it back to a Claim-able state with only two Blacksmiths and one Carpenter will take a really long time. Months, maybe.”

“And who knows when Higen will come back, or with how many new kobolds?” Hanbun grimaced. “Is there any way to become a Sanctuary before hitting Third Level?”

“Well…” Momo hesitantly spoke up. “I think there might be a way? I’m hesitant to say it, though, because it’s a bit…personal? For some people?”

This was all news to Shin. A way to become a Sanctuary that didn’t involve Conquest Sites would make all of this so much simpler. “We’re all friends and family here, Momo; I don’t think we’re all comfortable enough with one another that no idea could be too personal.”

Momo nodded, her cheeks flushing in contrast with her serious expression. “Okay then. Babies.”

Shin blinked. “Babies?”

“Yes, babies. I looked it up. Children absolutely cannot be harmed directly or indirectly by any action of a Player. It’s a fundamental rule of the System. So any village that has a baby, infant or child in it is automatically a Sanctuary.”

Maybe Shin had been wrong about that whole ‘no idea too personal’ thing.

All the eyes at the table immediately swung onto Shita, the blacksmith growling as her face burst into bright red. “Well Koda’n me are trying, dammit! Goddess, Momo, I swear; if the ghost of my old man put that idea in your head, I’m gonna hold my breath until I can murder him in the afterlife.”

“Oh, um, actually?” Mimi popped his head in. “I think you might have it reversed, Miss Momo?”

Momo raised her eyebrows. “How’s that?”

“I’ve read about that rule, too, but I don’t think the point it’s making is that children turn a village into a Sanctuary. Rather, I’m quite certain it means that children cannot be born anywhere besides a Sanctuary.”

“What!” Shita slapped her hands on the table, her previous embarrassment completely forgotten. “You mean the System’s keeping me and Koda from having a kid?!” She pushed a hand into her thick hair, gripping a tight handful as she squeezed her eyes shut in unimaginable annoyance. “Shit. We’ve tried everything. All of my aunties’ remedies and treatments. I’ve been sleepin’ with plom blossoms in my underthings because my gran used to swear it would make a girl ready for bearing. I hate everything so much right now.”

Woof. Shin vaguely recalled that he, too, had a grandmother now. But he mostly had memories about cheek pinches and sweet rice dumplings and not quite so much about what he needed to put into his pants to aid conception. Girls had it tough.

It seemed as if most of the important ground had been covered. Shin figured he might as well mention his new Plan.

“We’re all agreed that once we reach Level Two, we need to become a Sanctuary and increase our appeal as quickly as possible, right?” Shin took in the nods that answered him from around the table, pulling a scroll from beneath the table. “Well I’ve been thinking about it,”–he carefully rolled the parchment out for everyone to see–”And I had an idea that just might serve both purposes.”

The kobolds leaned forward, silently reading over the single phrase inked into the page before them. And then Gero spoke. “What the hell is The Grand Alliance?”