“I just, I really don’t think this will work…”

Gert flapped a paw distractedly at Mo-Mo, still fully absorbed by the task at hand.

“Of course it will, I just gotta…do it…exactly…ah~ha!” She lunged forward with her stick and pointy rock, eyes wild with triumph as she gave the arrow-ridden corpse of Yip-Yap a mighty poke.

“There!” She straightened up, panting in thrilled exertion as she stared expectantly down at the puppy pincushion. “It worked, right?”

“Hmm.” Shh crouched down, giving Yip-Yap a careful sniff. “Nope. Still dead.”

“What!” The big female huffed in frustration. “So we gotta poke him six times with the big stick, then?”

Shh scratched thoughtfully behind his ear. “I mean……maybe?”

“Guys, ugh, no! Seriously~!” Mo-Mo stomped her feet in frustration, then doubled over as she remembered where they were. She spared a nervous glance towards the nearby outpost, dropping her voice to a whisper. “It’s not gonna happen. Look at him; we’d need a stick, like, way bigger to bring him back to life.”

“I think you’re right, Mo-Mo.” Shh sighed, offering Gert a regretful look. “Sorry for getting your hopes up, Gert.”

“S’okay.” Gert shrugged. “It’s still a great stick.”

Mo-Mo seemed to have issues beyond the quality of the big stick and pointy rock on her mind, though. “Shh, you’re sure the monsters aren’t going to come get us? The outpost is right-” She cut herself off as she felt her voice climbing in pitch, taking a steadying breath before trying again, ”...it’s right there, isn’t it?”

“No no, we’re safe. There, see?” Shh indicated the watchtowers built into the four corners of the outpost. “Empty. My brother told me about this. You know, before that rock fell on his head and killed him?”

Gert nodded. “Yes, of course.”

“Yeah, so, he said that every time the monsters kill a bunch of us? They always have a big party after and they won’t notice us unless we actually try to mess with the outpost or get in or whatever.” He shrugged. “They’re ‘drunk’? I don’t know what that is but that’s what they are.”

“Really?” Mo-Mo considered that. “So…I could yell ‘Butts’ at them? And I wouldn’t get killed?”

“You should do that immediately.”

Mo-Mo hesitated, wiggling anxiously as she worked her way through a clearly intense internal war. But then she clenched her paws, screwed her eyes shut, and barked out as fiercely as her little voice could manage. “YOU BUTTS~!”

Huh. Honestly, Shh had thought this would be funny? And sure, it was, but…they were a bunch of butts. It wasn’t funny, he was just mad. The outpost monsters were such butts. So instead of laughing he joined in on the tirade, howling furious abuse at the silent outpost walls alongside Mo-Mo as Gert brandished her stick and pointy rock in solidarity.

Eventually Mo-Mo’s voice went hoarse, the little female having yelled herself into a practically spherical fluffball. She took a moment to calm down, grooming herself to a slightly less poofy state then gazed questioningly up at Shh. “How much longer do we have to wait?”

“Dunno. Oh, did you guys check out your Status Screens?”

Gert huffed. “Yeah, but making those dumb sounds is the worst.”

Mo-Mo perked up. “I’m really good at it! See?” She cleared her throat, then carefully opened her mouth. “Stertus!”

She clapped her paws, her own screen clearly having appeared before her as Gert struggled with hers. “Stur! S…Str…blaaaah…”

Eventually the big female brute forced the issue, painstakingly toiling over every syllable until she finally announced her victory with a triumphant snort. Pleased at their hard work, Shh brought his screen up as well and soon all three were pouring over the numbers that apparently defined everything they were.

“Hey Gert…” Mo-Mo glanced timidly up at her much bigger comrade, “Um, what’s your Strength?”

“Oh. S’no big deal.” Gert was clearly pleased with herself, her tail wagging up a storm. “Four.”

Mo-Mo gasped. “Four! That’s so much!”

Gert shrugged, all but basking in the praise of her superior abilities. “And in Agility. And in Toughness.”

“Wooow~!” Mo-Mo tilted her head to one side. “Um, how much Strength d’you think the outpost monsters have?”

“Uh.” Gert blinked. “Something more than Four? I guess?”

Shh knew exactly how the big female felt. Whatever it was that controlled the Status Screen–and maybe the whole world or whatever–was super stingy about letting them understand anything other than exactly what was on their sheets. Shh himself hadn’t had any clue what was beyond Three until he’d spotted his own Four in Presence, at which point it was perfectly clear. Four was more than Three. Obviously.

Who knew what was more than Four. Probably no one. Impossible to know.

Mo-Mo pouted a little as she returned to her own Status. “Well I’m only a One in all those.” Her ears perked up. “Oh, but, my Wisdom is a Four!”

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Mo-Mo had more Wisdom than Shh? He had…not expected that.

“I’m just a One in that.” Ger offered an embarrassed shrug. “And my Intelligence is just a Two, so…”

“Oh, that’s okay!” Mo-Mo waggled her tail companionably. “So’s mine! Lucky thing Shh’s around for plans and stuff, right?”

“Uhhh yeah.” Every muscle in Shh’s body strained as he forced his ears to stay straight and his tail to wag. “For sure. Number One Smarts Guy, right here.”

Mo-Mo beamed at him, even Gert seemed impressed, and Shh had never felt like a bigger imposter. Had he hoped his Two Intelligence was actually a lot?

Yes.

Had he shamefully wished that, even if Two wasn’t much, maybe everyone else had a One?

Of course.

Had he cycled through every scenario and flattering self-deception he could manage, all in an attempt to assure himself that he was the once-in-a-lifetime genius he’d quietly, indulgently expected he might be?

Obviously.

But the facts were undeniable: Shh was just another dummy, not statistically smarter than any other mongrel. A little puff-brained dum-dum, wandering around to coo over sticks and get killed by falling rocks. Awesome.

So how had he come up with the Biggest Plan? Shh had a theory.

The three Mental Stats were harder to understand than the Physical ones, no question. Shh still wasn’t precisely sure what the difference between Intelligence and Wisdom was, for example. But that Four in Presence held the key. Shh may not have his paws on all of the nuances, but he was fairly certain that Confidence was part of it. Shh believed in himself, believed in his dummy brains and his dummy instincts and his dummy plans.

Shh believed in Shh. So he took action.

It was entirely possible that any other mongrel, having witnessed the same secrets They revealed to Shh, could have come up with this ‘Biggest’ plan. And that same mongrel, lacking Shh’s faith or pride or ego would have immediately realized that the plan was stupid and not bothered anyone with it.

Shh had been forced to make peace with these facts almost as soon as he grasped them. They were all locked into his plan now, him and Gert and Mo-Mo. Dummy or otherwise. There was no changing that. He didn’t have to find some justification for why the plan was great, he and his companions had to make the plan work.

Honestly? It was kinda freeing.

The faint bell tones that rose softly from the ground, chiming out from the bodies of their fallen packmates, prompted a welcome end to Shh’s self-reflection. Mo-Mo let out a soft noise, waving away her Status Screen as she looked down at Yip-Yap.

“Is it happening?”

“Yeah.” Gert cocked an ear inquisitively, then pointed over towards one of the other small bodies. “It’s starting over there, I think.”

“Mm.” Mo-Mo lowered herself to the ground, clasping her knees with her paws as she stared at the mongrel in question. “Is that Sunny?”

Shh slipped down to one side of her, Gert hunkering down at the other as all three of them watched the quiet little body start to glow. “Uh-huh.”

“Whenever he caught a sparrow, he’d give me the wings. He said it was ‘cause he didn’t like them but I know he did.” Mo-Mo sighed, eyes wistful as what remained of Sunny began to gently dissolve into floating beads of flicking light. “I’ll remember that.”

“He always made me laugh.” Shh offered, prompting a smile and a nod from Mo-Mo. “He could make the funniest faces.”

Gert shifted awkwardly as Mo-Mo giggled. “I dunno what to say. I’m not good at this like you two are. Sunny was okay.”

“Coming from you, Gert? That’s high praise.”

Gert folded her ears a little, glancing away in embarrassment. Fortunately, Mo-Mo provided the big female with some cover.

“Oh, Round Ears is going now. How did she get her ears so round?!”

One by one the lonely little bodies of their packmates began to glow, Mo-Mo and Shh offering their memories on each as they faded away, their essence joining the growing shroud of hazy azure that pulsed within the trees. For her part, Gert offered that each of them was ‘okay’.

Except for Turnip, who was just ‘kinda okay’. In all fairness, Turnip was only kinda okay.

Eventually it was Yip-Yap’s turn to join the others, his admirable Bigness slowly fading away. It sorta felt wrong for someone so Big to fade away just like everyone else, his essence indistinguishable from any of the other fallen mongrels as he went to join them. He’d just felt so far beyond everyone else in the pack.

It felt sorta right, too. Feelings were tough.

At least Shh didn’t have to deal with them alone. “What can we even say about Boss Yip-Yap?”

To Shh’s surprise, it was Gert who broke the silence. “He made me feel like we had a chance. I’d never felt that way before.”

Mo-Mo nodded empathically. “Yeah, me too!”

“Yeah.” Shh couldn’t resist a sigh. “Me too.”

“That’s why I’m glad, you know.”

“Eh? Shh cocked his head at Gert. “Glad about what?”

“That I feel that way again.” Gert shrugged, seemingly at war with herself over wanting to meet Shh’s eye and wanting to never look at him again. “I dunno. Your plan seems weird and you’re weird but…I feel like we have a chance, again. And I’m just glad I can tell Yip-Yap that. Before he’s gone.”

As if waiting for that final cue, the last bit of Yip-Yap lazily floated away, swallowed up by the sea of blue just as it too began to fade. Gert sniffed once, then offered the final echoes of Yip-Yap and his fallen pack a smile.

“Goodbye.”

Mo-Mo and Shh murmured their goodbyes as well, the little female’s sniffles moments away from actual tears and Shh not far behind her. What had been the sad remains of a charnel ground was briefly transformed, sincere emotion and chiming azure and the fleeting wonder in even the smallest of lives creating a scene of aching beauty.

And then the gate to the outpost began to grumble open and all three of them nearly soiled themselves.

“You said they wouldn’t come! You said it, you said it!” Mo-Mo scrabbled across the ground as Gert grabbed her stick and began swinging it blindly, the little female desperately crawling to cover even as she shrieked at Shh. “You’re a butt, Shh! You’re a BUTT!”

She seemed particularly incensed when Shh, having gotten over the initial shock, began to cackle. Mo-Mo immediately twisted around to crawl towards him, eyes blazing as her desire to find a hiding place transmuted into a need to bite Shh on the ankles. It was all he could do to jump away from Mo-Mo’s snap, barely managing to duck an errant blow from Gert as he tried his best to contain his laughter.

“Wait, wait! Guys, it’s not the monsters; just look!”

Mo-Mo reluctantly gave the gate another look, clearly prepared to pounce for those ankles if she didn’t like what she saw. What she hadn’t counted on was the sight that lay before her being not frightening, not comforting, not even neutral.

It was just… confusing.

Gert clearly felt the same way, her manic stick swinging slowly dying down as she squinted towards the gate.

“Is that…” She sniffed towards the strange figure that emerged from within the outpost, seemingly unaware of the three mongrels as it hefted a massive bag and wandered away, “....not a monster?”

“I…don’t really know. But!” At the glares from his companions Shh hurriedly continued on, “I do know one thing.”

He pointedly grandly at the strange thing as it toddled further away into the zone.

“That is the cornerstone of my Biggest Plan. It’s who we’ve been waiting for this whole time.”

“Really?” Mo-Mo rose to her feet, knocking the sticks and leaves out of her fur. “So what do we do now?”

“Simple: We go pick some fruit.”