The Warden stared at his 3 units of omnikibble and back at his hand. He invested one and attacked with the 7/7. I decided to chump block with my Cool corgi. What followed was that the gigantic Kangal sauntered up to my tail-wagging corgi, chomped him down, with a single bite, swallowed with a big gulp, and my unknit appeared inside the hearth, behind the glass of such an oven. The Corgi began turning over the fire as if skewered, but he kept his cool, even as flames consumed him. Then, the Kangal vomited a pair of shades, and those got added to my hand.
I checked my rainbow bridge. I had 3 corgis in it so far. And a pug, but I didn’t care for the pug.
The Warden ended his turn, drawing from his deck.
I carefully considered my hand. For four Omnikibble I could play Chain of Corgis. It was the deck’s main way to send Corgis to the bridge. I played the kibble card, discarding two more units. One of them was another cool corgi, so he added another pair of shades to my hand. I invested and then played a 2 drop: Stunbutt Corgi, a 3/1 capable of sending a unit to snooze for a whole turn cycle on a Walkies effect.
The fluffenbutten animalensche (I know no German but as long as it sounds German…) jumped, describing a pirouette in the air and hitting the 7/7 in the forehead with his gigantic caboose, knocking it out.
While the behemoth seizure on the floor, I drew a card from the deck, ending my turn.
The Warden grunted. “just delaying the inevitable, Corgger.”
“Is that a slur aimed at corgi players?”
“Of course it is! You are the scum of the non-Earth!”
He really hated me playing Corgis. I considered surrendering and swapping my deck for the next run, but I had come this far, and the more testing I did of the deck, the more flaws I would find, the more understanding of the deck’s potential I would have.
The Warden invested and played a 3 mana 3 / 4 Schizophrenic Kangal with Run over and Ever-ready. He instantly attacked with both units, the big dogs awaiting for me to declare blocks to act.
I blocked the ¾ with the 3/1 and the 1/1, and the 7/7 gulped up the 2/1 with Lick Wounds.
The two corgis that battled the schizophrenic Kangal avoided the first charge and then, showing an absolute mastery of Corgi-fu, managed to kick it in the ribs and head before falling to his maw. Not long afterwards, the Kangal fell down to the floor due to the broken ribcage and skull, dying too. 1 damage got through, but it soon got healed as my other unit with Lick wounds bit the innards of the Furnace-dog as it was cooked alive.
MAURO: 27
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WARDEN: 30
The Warded ended his turn and mine came.
“I play Chain of Corgis!” I boldly declared.
The Warden facepalmed. “Just end this torture, dear Lord in Heaven.”
“Chain of corgis allows me to—”
“I know what every card in the game does, I design many of them!” HE exclaimed, tiredness audible in his voice.
“It allows me to draw a card and…” I murmured, and then the warden began straight barking at me.
“Play it at once so I can see if I need to surrender!”
I obliged. I drew the first card and smirked before revealing it. “Duro… Corgi cardo!”
“Quit it now, Mauro! I am very serious about hating this deck.”
I discarded the corgi, as the effect of the card allowed me to, to draw another: “Duro… Corgi Cardo!”
“Last. Fucking, Warning.” The Warden was tearing his armor apart, using his long claws. Maybe, if I pushed further, he would surrender.
I repeated my previous action. “Duro, Corgi c—”
The Warden screeched and my turn immediately ended. The card didn’t even resolve. The Border collies entered the stage as the starry background of the field began to collapse, revealing the balls on the walls. Just three collies this time, holding there letters:
U R N
After a second, I opened my eyes wide and glanced back at the Warden, from the wounds of his armor black tar bled profusely, creating tendrils with sharp points as blackened teeth.
One of the collies jumped over the other to rearrange the letters.
UNR
At least they had the spirit to try. Without taking my eyes away from the Warden, I began retreating slowly, one step at a time.
“Run, Corgger! Try to reach tomorrow alive,” was the last thing his mechanical voice said before he tore his helmet off with the tendrils, revealing a decaying jackal head with exposed tendons and bones, and deep yellow eyes. So many deep yellow eyes that had no business being sprinkled like that. I ran for the exit, my heart pounding in my chest like it had when I faced the flaming dogs, but The Warden, in a single jump that arched over my head, landed in front of me.
“This is the form those that try to escape see before being consumed.” His voice was now raspy and grave. He advanced like a hyena stalking his prey, and I walked back, speechless, unable to take my eyes away from him. “I am The Warden, I enforce adequate behavior. Most believe me a robot, but I am not. This I am, a creation so repulsive by a goddess so vile.” He said, his jaw hanging loosely as multiple tentacle-like tongues sprouted from his darkened palate and dry, cracked gums. “I am allowed to kill a few players. And one less or one more, the goddess wouldn’t mind.”
I tripped, falling on my back. I started crawling, prey of panic, I was going to die a horrible death for mouthing off.
“I am sorry! I am sorry!” I cried like a little bitch. An unfuckable little bitch.
The warden extended his tendrils unnaturally, grabbing me from an ankle and pulling me up. Getting me closer and closer to his putrid mouth. The smell and the fear made me throw up over his face, which the Warded seemed to not mind.
“I am sorry.” I begged.
“Why are you afraid, friend? I won’t kill you, Corgger. If you were one of those who always treated me as a mere machine, you would be death. But to you… to you I grant a second chance. Don’t overstep my boundaries again, friend.”
He let me down and moved to a side, clearing the path to my room. “Now, let me rebuild my armor, and don’t play that or any Discard corgi deck against me without consulting beforehand ever again, got it?”
I scrambled to my feet and skedaddled away. Once I was back in the halls, I began laughing like a maniac. I was alive! And this place was worse than I had ever thought. I felt myself losing my mind in that moment. Once the laugh died off, I dragged my feet to my room. My body felt heavy, the rush of adrenaline passed. The Warden had not been kind while manipulating me, and my ankle hurt. I would need a little rest.