February 24th. 7:00 am.
From all the accumulated stress, I didn't sleep all night. Right now, I'm staring at the ceiling of my room from my bed. There's nothing spectacular about it, it's a white ceiling after all.
Currently, I'm also blankly staring while trying to empty these calamitous thoughts out of my head.
"At least he'll cooperate now..."
Though, yesterday, Hyunda was quite fast. Not in an amazing way, but his speed became way faster. Simply speaking, he showed me his minimally serious side and completed the training that I made him do.
But...
"Why... Can't you be a little more caring, damn it?!"
The main reason for my current fury isn't because of his lack of cooperation. No, that already has been settled. Through shameless blackmail, I managed to bribe him by claiming that I would accuse him of raping me.
All I wanted was his cooperation and I got that, but I can't forgive his loutish words and languid manner at the same time.
I will not let him have his way.
"But, what can I do...? I've been thinking about it all night and I still haven't found any possible solutions to this... Does his behavior have any weaknesses so to speak? Even when he got bribed he showed an extremely relaxed expression..."
Given that he will cooperate, there is something else that I must achieve and that is, his approval. Not because I want his attention but it's because no man has ever shown signs of resistance this high --- It must be purely coincidental ---- therefore something is wrong here.
His being is not above mine. I can find out his soft spot and hopefully make him mine.
Yet, why am I in such a rush to do this...?
This was originally an attempt to make him cooperate but now, why am I doing this...?
Ah... That's right, that's right.
It's to win and make him regret ever saying those uncouth words to a munificent person like me.
There's nothing else to it, that's the main reason.
"It's so strange though... Why am I feeling so emotionally conflicted right now?"
Unfortunately, my low tone words used to speak to myself were interrupted by my morning clock.
Right... I forgot to turn it off. Then again, I had no idea that I wouldn't be able to sleep all night...
Also, I don't look forward to mornings that much. I wish I could just stay in bed all day long.
I have no friends in this dorm nor in my class. Everyone is a stranger so to speak so there's no point in starting any conversation in the first place.
Not like I would go out of my way to start one either way.
Hyunda's case is special since I needed his cooperation.
And... Today, I was going to try something different.
8:00 am. Boys dorm entrance door.
This is it, right?
I'm in the correct place, yes?
It's 8 am yet none of them have left the dorm.
Right now, I'm standing in one of the two benches that there is outside of the boys' dorm.
Of course, I'm wearing a similar outfit as yesterday, though, I changed a few things such as perfume and my lipstick.
By the way, this dorm is extremely creepy... Why does it look like a haunted house? It's staggering to me how they can live in such a horrible place like this...
Nevertheless, I was in a faraway bench that was in front of the main door but from a bit far away. Essentially, I was avoiding being noticed.
The main door is still closed, or so I thought until I looked again and I saw...
"Is that Kuzan...?"
Why is Kuzan running so fast with food in his hands?
"GET THE DAMN RAT!!! DON'T LET HIM ESCAPE ALIVE! CAPTURE HIM AT ALL POSSIBLE COSTS! DEAD OR ALIVE, FIND HIM!!"
E-Eh?
W-What's going on...?
Why are Kawahara and Kan chasing Kuzan so rapidly? Kuzan, who just escaped from his dorm with massive portions of bread and pieces of fruit all over his hands was running towards the main school buildings...
Needless to say, since Kawahara and Kan, who had the most bed hairs ever, were chasing him to the depths of hell, they didn't notice my presence that was somewhat distant from their positions.
It's also a fair mention to say that a few shouts came from the dorm as well.
More importantly, it wasn't Kan nor Kawahara who angrily shouted those words, but it was instead...
"It was Tsudo, wasn't it...? What's going on...?"
Well, that was weird, but that's none of my business. Because I was expecting a certain someone.
Surely, whenever men are caught in by surprise their hearts skip a beat, and Hyunda, you are no different.
Furthermore, it's only a matter of time before you come out of the dorm.
In the meantime, until Hyunda came out from his dorm, I fiddled with my phone constantly only to make time go away.
Of course, in the middle of that time, several boys passed through me and looked at me. Both from my class and from other classes. Naturally, I greeted them with a smile but they couldn't keep looking at me for too long.
My wonderous beauty was far too powerful. Consequently, to such fact, their eyes would immediately look straight face the ground. Some would even take their time to decide whether or not they should ask me my number, or so would I assume since they were fiddling with their phones.
Something that I like to do is to fiddle with my hair, mainly my braids.
In order to further create an alluring sensation to my surroundings, it was a piece of cake.
..............
It's so cold though.
Plus, it's 8:15 am. The class starts in a few minutes, Hyunda.
Where are you...?
Why haven't you left the dorm yet? You do know it's meaningless to skip since Basara-sensei will not allow that to be overlooked.
Whatever. I'm sure that once he sees me that he will be shocked over the fact that I've been waiting here long enough. He'll probably ask me if I was here for a long time but I'll just say no to that question.
Although it's not true, it's for a greater purpose, it's to make him feel relaxed around me. Yesterday, we started off from the wrong foot and it's partially my fault for that, but today will be different.
I'll make you acknowledge me.
If you get out of the dorm, that is...
Come on... It's getting late...
So far, from what I can tell, only two boys are left and that's Daniel and Hyunda.
I couldn't care less about Daniel, but if he gets out first, I'll ask about Hyunda...
When is Hyunda going to come out of his do---
"Oh, is that...?"
Unable to hide my surprise, I immediately got up from my stiff seat and glanced upon the figure who left through the main door.
Our eyes did connect and after a while, he decided to look away.
We were somewhat distant in terms of meters, but he looked at me again and walked to my territory.
Could it be that he is...?
"Arkalee, what are you doing here? You're not gonna skip, are you? You're not going to make Basara-sensei angry for no reason, are you? Please don't."
............
Why is this mega-dork even approaching me?
Your grades are horrible and yet you have the sheer audacity to talk to me, who always keeps up with the class' subjects way better than you!
Piece of garbage...
But, I must ask him an important question.
Smile, remember, smile.
"Hello, Daniel! Oh, no! I'm not going to skip! I'm just waiting for Hyunda! Do you know where he is?"
There's nothing appealing about this guy. It's crystal clear that he just woke up and didn't even do his hair.
Did he even shower? Also, why is his breath so...
His uniform tie is also out of the place...
I think I might puke if we prolong this conversation long enough.
Creating a smile towards someone you don't like immediately is by far one of the hardest things ever.
"Hyunda? He's still in the dorm? Are you sure he didn't leave? Well-- Don't be late for class, please."
"T-Thank you for the consideration!"
What's his deal...?
Logically speaking his intentions were pure but he only said those words because he didn't want me to skip out on classes. There was absolutely nothing kind about that.
Why are people so insensitive?!
As he walked off, I stared at him and cursed him to the depths of hell.
I hope you die from lack of oxygen you waste of flesh.
"8:20 am... Maybe he really left early..."
Somehow I just can't imagine that. In my mind, Hyunda is the type of guy to always show up at the last second, not someone who follows schedules.
Hyunda is far too flawed to follow any sort of decency in the first place...
The students around were starting to decrease since the classes had already began but I decided to wait just five more minutes...
If Hyunda doesn't come out of his dorm, then I'll just assume that he isn't here in the first place and that he got up early for some reason.
"Oh, Arkalee! What are you doing here? I didn't expect to see you here!"
From behind the bench that I'm sitting on, a mysterious and feminine voice captured my audition straight up.
Just who---
"Ah... I-Ikkiri, what are you doing.. here..?"
Why is she, of all people here?
This carefree girl who has the most carefree looks ever. Her light blue hair seems like something boys would love, but it's not as enthralling as people think. What is so special about it even?
Also, wearing long skirts in winter? Zero appeal.
How does she dare to even start a conversation with someone as grand as me...?
"Oh, why...? Nothing special, really. But you didn't answer my question. What are you doing, here, Arkalee?"
Why is Ikkiri persisting with her question? Can't she get a clue? Her blatant behavior is an eyesore...
But, could it be that she is here because of...
No, no way.
It's not possible.
I also didn't have to give her a real answer.
"I'm here because I'm bored. I usually spend time like this, haha! But hey, class is about to start, you should get going!"
"Hm... I see, Arkalee. But, you go ahead. I have something to take care of. Well, bye. See ya, in a while."
"O-Oh, okay. See you in a while, too."
Sure, you said those words, but what exactly are you going to take care of?
I still have three minutes. I'm in no rush.
Also...
Why are you walking straight into the boys' dorm?
Does she not know that it's forbidden for such interac-
"Ikkiri, I told you to not do that..."
"You were taking way too long. You didn't reply to my message. I thought you were sick or something, Hyunda."
"Even if I was sick, I still couldn't skip class. Let's go, we are late."
E-Eh?
What?
Why are they...?
Why is Ikkiri...?
No, why is Hyunda?
I'm so confused. I have so many questions.
Oh no...
What if Hyunda sees me? He will question why I'm here and it will be awkward.
And... Are my legs failing me? Why are they trembling? What is this...?
Ultimately, before they could launch their eyes onto me, I walked straight to block F with a fast stride.
8:45 am, block F, main classroom.
For some reason, it was hard to even keep a straight face. I simply didn't want to stay in the same room as Hyunda and Ikkiri any longer.
Unknown to me, something was piercing my heart like a massive needle.
But... what was it?
In this classroom, while I pretended to care for the subject at hand, I was only thinking about my feelings right now.
Perhaps I should analyze why I'm feeling this way.
From the start, I wanted to surprise Hyunda but I was severely interrupted a couple of times...
It would work, right? I was going to surprise him and capture a portion of his heart, yet why didn't that happen...
"Why..."
Tatsu, who was standing next to me looked at me, but I started to slowly crush my paper notes...
Making loud noises was out of the option yet I needed to vent my frustration a little.
In the past days, my efforts towards Hyunda have been mainly useless.
Why though?
I understand that Hyunda has a complex persona and that he is a living enigma, but there must be something else...
Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.
What, though?
Slowly and steady, I looked at Hyunda who was behind me only for a brief moment.
In that instance, it was enough for me to tell something.
A certain presence was always there for some odd reason.
Her whole existence desecrated my planned event. It was perfect, yet...
"Do aliens exist, Hyunda?"
"How am I supposed to know?"
"But, don't you know everything?"
"No, Ikkiri. I might have an option for everything, but that doesn't mean that I know everything... I just have my takes on things, nothing more..."
As always, she was all over his face.
I can't understand this! Why!?
How can you be this clueless and still pursue talking to someone who hasn't shown any interest in you?
She's so dumb... But what I can't understand is why Hyunda always looks at her...
Am I going over things?
No.
No, I'm not.
She's in the way, isn't she? This morning, if it wasn't for her, if she wasn't there at that exact time, I would've gotten the opportunity to capture his heart.
How does she dare to get in my way of winning something...
But, to my surprise...
"Eh..."
Why is he... Did Hyunda just look at me for a second, instead of Ikkiri while Ikkiri is speaking to him?
Why...?
O-Oh no, I must look away...
What just... happened?
It was just a look, why am I covering my head in my slender arms like this...?
But, he did look at me, didn't he?
Could it be that the side effects of yesterday's seduction are finally coming into play?
Of course...
Yes.
Yes...
Yes!
Now it all makes sense. Of course, this is what happens. It's just impossible for any man to resist me and as said previously, Hyunda is not on higher ground when it comes to this aspect.
It's only natural that Hyunda would feel attracted to my godlike charms.
Which means that Ikkiri is completely partial right now.
It's working, at long last.
10:00 am.
"Okay, everyone, since it's the last day before the exam, you should all take this very seriously and work with your partners. I shouldn't have to remind you what happens if you fail this exam, correct, boys?"
"No need..."
In harmony, some of the boys showed desperation towards Yuka-sensei's speech. Why though...?
Also, something worth mentioning would be that Hyunda was looking at me with consistency now...
Even though I noticed, I wasn't going to constantly look back as well.
That's not how you play this game. At this stage, you cannot show the boy any type of attention, which, in return, will leave him desiring you even more.
I knew it. Hyunda's no different.
Plus, yet again, I was wearing a similar skirt to yesterday. In the middle of the center of this mini-running platform stood all of the class and would you look at that, he just can't stop looking at me.
It's only a matter of time before he approaches me now that I've stolen his heart.
Regardless of the current circle, I was in front of him in the circle and therefore could feel the glares coming from him.
Ara, I wonder if they are lustful glances?
"Good. With that said, give it your best. You can even skip out on lunch if you want to."
"Yes, sensei..."
Once again, the boys who sound dead answered Yuka-sensei.
Now that she is going to her office, this would mean that the pairs would work and go to their respective places to train. Normally, since Hyunda refused to show any cooperation, I had to be the one who engaged the conversation first, but...
Not today.
Today, either he started or nothing happened.
While the rest of the pairings went to their desired locations to train, I didn't look at Hyunda who was behind me and pretended to be spacing out.
But... Ikkiri glanced at me for some reason. Only shortly though.
What was that for?
"Arkalee. Are we training today or not?"
At last, Hyunda had bequeathed himself before my glorious and penetrating figure.
It appears that Hyunda also had bereaved his stubborn behavior.
So, I had to act like I was remotely attracted to him in order to allude him.
"Um... I've been thinking. I'm sorry about yesterday. I said some unnecessary things. I just wanted your cooperation. I even used drastic measures to achieve it. Can you... forgive me...?"
Once you are open to affection, it becomes harder to deny words that have entrails of cuteness all over them. And thus, this situation fits the glove perfectly.
"No. Why should I? You threatened me by saying that you would accuse me of raping you. Are you an idiot? There's no forgiveness to that."
"A-Ah... Of course... not..."
Eh...?
Why is he acting so savagely...
This doesn't make sense... Once you are attracted you are supposed to change your attitude otherwise it will not work... Therefore, why are you being this rude, Hyunda?
"So, are we doing it or not, Arkalee? If not, just say so."
"Y-Yes, we are! Of course, we are!"
This is far too confusing at the moment... Also, how can he say those words while some people were still around...?
Gladly, they are not that close to the point where they can listen to our conversation otherwise we'd have a problem.
"Alright. This time, I'll decide where we train. Follow me."
He didn't even ask for my permission and just went on a full imperial tone...
Why do I have the feeling that something is not right...?
Since there are three running platforms, I thought for sure that Hyunda would go to one of them but he didn't...
Instead, he took me to...
"Hey, this is the cafeteria, what gives?"
"Oh, you have a good eye, Arkalee. I thought for a second that you wouldn't recognize the fact that this is an open cafeteria. Nice."
The public cafeteria, which is always open has nobody in it because this is classtime and so, every student is inside their classrooms.
Also, Hyunda just kept on walking straight forward to the staircases. This building has three floors, so I'm assuming that we are going all the way up to the upper floor.
I decided to additionally ignore his bilious sarcasm.
And now, it would be a good time to...
"Hyunda, you've been looking at me ever since class... Is there something... wrong?"
This silver-haired boy who kept on walking without replying wasn't even paying attention to my words. This staircase is also fairly long...
"I'm just going to be honest here. What do you want from me?"
"Sorry...?"
"Don't play dumb, Arkalee. I have a personal philosophy of mine that implies the following: I will never bother anyone as long as anyone doesn't bother me. Pretty simple, right? But, you, for some odd reason, you've been looking at me instead. You want something, don't you?"
....................
How come he noticed that....?
Still...
"Sorry, I... I've felt guilty ever since yesterday and I wanted to apologize to you about it. I don't have any friends here and so it's hard for me to communicate well."
While saying this, I was looking down on the floor, which would reflect negativity and a sign that I was truly feeling guilty about it.
No boy on his right mind would dare to hurt a single girl in this fragile scenario...
"No, I don't care about that. Your problems aren't of my concern. I've already guaranteed you my cooperation so why are you unnecessarily acting out of your own way just to get my attention? It doesn't make sense. It does not add up either. Acting out of your way for my cooperation was reasonable. You even gave me a threat. But now? There's no reason. Explain yourself."
"W-What do you mean acting out of my way...? I didn't approach you..."
This is true.
Also, why can't he be less boorish and tone down the aggressiveness in his words...?
It's making me feel uncomfortable, but of course, he's just looking forward while climbing this staircase.
This should be the second floor but he is not showing any signs of stopping.
"...Alright. I was just confirming something. There's a possibility that I might've been wrong here."
How strange. He's actually reflecting on his own action, even though he is correct.
However, he has absolutely no way of knowing why he is correct.
"But Arkalee, why were you looking at me back in class? You didn't explain that yet."
"Why were you looking at me as well...?"
"You were constantly glancing so I glanced back. I tried to make eye contact with you but you refused to comply. Therefore, you want something from me, otherwise, I can't possibly comprehend your behavior."
....
Why is his intuition this good?
There should be no clues... And besides, it's just normal for people to look at other people.
Why is he making such a deal out of a few glances...?
Obviously, I can't give him the real answer, so...
"Didn't I already told you...? I was feeling guilty and so--"
"Don't lie to me. You don't feel guilty. If you do feel guilty then you won't charge me for 'raping' you. Show me that you don't feel guilty."
"Okay... But how...?"
We had arrived on the upper floor and there was only an empty room here.
A blank and empty room.
Noticeably, there was a singular massive window with the view to outside, which, Hyunda, immediately went towards.
From my distance, his mystic white eyes shone mysteriously. They were so powerful that I spaced out for a second.
"No cameras in here..."
Huh?
Why did he say that...?
Now that I think about it and now that I look around, there really aren't any cameras here.
How is that possible though...?
"Hyunda?"
At long last, he looked in my direction and pulled out his phone from his pocket.
"Let's make a deal, shall we? You can prove that you are feeling guilty and that you truly are sorry by voicing the truth and having me recording it. This way, should you ever try to charge me, it will never work because I have this. So, what do you say?"
Ah, I see.
So that's why he dragged me out here. This also confirmed that we weren't going to do any physical training despite being in our P.E clothes.
Furthermore, I was being driven to a corner as we speak. If I said yes, then he would have full protection against me and onwards, he can just do whatever he wants.
But, if that's the case, then my whole endeavor will be ossified.
And, I cannot allow that to happen.
This means that in order to further my progress, I will need to take this to the next level.
"..........Ah. You caught me. I was lying about that, sorry."
"Thought so."
"But, you know, Hyunda, I can tell you something interesting instead."
I started walking next to Hyunda who was now looking at me, but still beside the massive window.
It was snowing outside, it seems. What a fantastic sight.
"I'll admit it. I'm attracted to you."
It doesn't take any effort to say this because I don't mean those words.
Though, why isn't his expression a surprised one...?
"Really? What about me is attractive?"
"H-Huh? You know... I like your hair... Silver is a really cool color. And there's also the fact that you dress up, nicely..."
"Arkalee, it's only my uniform. What's so nice about it? Just admit it, there's another reason. You don't have to lie about it. Come on, just tell me."
"N-No, it's the truth!"
Huh...?
Why did I say that?
I didn't even think of my own words...
O-Oh no, how will I justify this...
"You got red. There appears to be a shred of truth in your words, after all. Previously, you were lying, but just now, those words, they were the truth."
"No, you got it wrong. Don't misunderstand!"
"What the hell? First, you tell me that you are attracted then you say you aren't. Decide, Arkalee."
What the hell is going on!?
Why is my mind going blank right now?!
This wasn't supposed to happen!!
I just wanted him to recognize my features since I couldn't tolerate him overlooking them, but how did it turn into this scenario?!
"You're so red. Hey, calm down."
"N-No! I don't have to calm down! That's right! I am attracted to you! So, admit it already, I'm beautiful!"
Huh..........!?
What am I saying!?
Why are these words coming out from my mouth like this?!
"You're average. Why are you making such a big deal about yourself? Even that messy personality of yours manages to be more attractive. There's nothing genuine about your fabricated looks, but your messy personality at least has a bit of genuineness."
W-What...?
Fabricated...?
Messy?
H-How does he...
"How dare you say that! Do you not have any sense of shame! Is this seriously how you treat someone who tells you their feelings straight up!? Can't you show some decency for once?! God, I hate you!"
"Oh, you hate me? How coincidental. You're lying constantly and you refuse to take back your stupid lie of a claim. And then you say you are attracted to me. Not that I cared about it anyways. Also, why are you crying? Stop crying."
"I'm not crying!"
"Arkalee, you are totally crying."
"Stop joking about my sentiments! Why are you laughing while saying those words!? I hate how insensitive you are!"
Unfortunately, I could feel the tears streaming down from the bottom of my eyes to my cheeks.
"Am I not allowed to be this way? I am like this and you are like that. What did you expect? A sudden miracle?"
"No, but Hyunda, why can't you just admit it!?"
"Admit what, really...?"
"How many times do I have to say! Look at me! I am pretty, aren't I?! Why can't you simply just... Ugh... Ahh..."
It appears that my crying wasn't stopping any time soon.
What pissed me off, even more, was how he wasn't caring about the current situation at all.
He just kept on looking at me with the same glance over and over. His posture and facial expression did not change at all.
"Why are you so obsessed with recognition mainly involving your supposed beauty?"
"What do you mean by 'supposed'?! Are you implying that I'm not pretty, is that it?!"
"No, Arkalee, listen. Truly, you are pretty. But that's it. You're nothing more than products. Your personality is as fabricated as your looks."
"So you do admit it... I knew it, hahaha!"
"Hey, did you listen to what I said after that?"
"It doesn't matter, you admitted it! You did, Hyunda! You can't take back your own words."
To be honest, I think I got so exultant that I started jumping around like a little kid.
Nevertheless, my tears increased.
"You're not pretty without your products though. You don't possess natural charm."
"Eh...? What are you talking about? What does that matter? You already said it... Hey, don't go back on your own words... That's being a coward..."
"You must be feeling like your whole endeavor was ultimately efficacious but you missed my whole point. Surely, I called you pretty but that's because you most likely use products to enhance your beauty since you possess none. Without them, you and trash, don't have that many differences. Assuming there are any, to begin with. Also, your personality is ruined from the start. Don't ignore my own words, Arkalee."
"Wait... But that doesn't matter, r-right? After all, I am---"
"Oh yes, you said something about being attracted to me, right? What happened to that? Let me guess... That was just a bridge to connect to this obsession of yours about looks, right? Is that why you have been looking a bit over the top lately? How pathetic."
How can someone be this heartless...
I don't understand...
What did I do wrong...?
"Please don't say that.... I'm really hurt right now..."
Why does my heart feel like it's being pulled out and tossed around like a tennis ball...?
Hey... Hyunda, was what I did to you so horribly wrong that you had to treat me this way...?
"You brought this upon yourself. I'm going for a walk. Also, I don't give a shit if you report me about this 'rape' attempt anymore. You're not even worth taking caution of."
"N-No, don't go... We can still talk... about this... right...?"
Why are you walking so far away from me, Hyunda?
Why aren't you responding to my calling?
Why are my knees on the floor suddenly?
This erratic situation is making my heart quake.
"Ah... He's gone..."
In this lone and empty room with only a window worth mentioning, stood only one person, that being, me.
As I looked upon the floor, there was a certain liquid on it.
"What is it...?"
It looks like water...
But--- I soon realized ---- they were my own tears.
"It's alright, it's alright! Stop crying, Arkalee! It's fine, it's going to be fine. It must be fine! He doesn't mean anything to you! There's no reason to cry at all! All my words to him were lies anyway! There's no need to feel this way!"
Yet what is this sadness and sorrow?
Why does the fact that I told him lies feel so transparent right now?
Plus, why do his words which were the truth according to him, hurt so much?
Aren't lies supposed to hurt more than the truth...?
"Why did no one tell me about this...?"
Amidst this cold empty white room, I slowly walked and crawled to the darkest corner and sat down while grabbing on my knees with my back against the wall.
In order to let my tears fully dry, I needed some space.
I realize that I'm quite sentimental but why is the world so cold?
"Maybe I shouldn't have lied about it..."
But wouldn't it have changed the situation...?
All I wanted was his approval because no one before has denied my looks so I got offended when someone as heartless as him utterly denied such a thing.
Maybe I truly was wrong...
"No..."
I'm not wrong.
If other people say it, then why is the opinion of someone like him even important? It's illogical to consider the opinion, of a single person like Hyunda who has no sentiments at all, grandly.
"He's at fault and he's wrong. I'm not wrong... I know it's true... Also, what the hell... My looks aren't fabricated...! Why... are you such a liar?!"
Also...
I do have a personality, okay?
You think that you are saying the truth but you are just speaking about what I have shown you!
That's right! You don't know my true personality!
What gives you the right to judge me when you don't even know me?
You're just so wrong and you don't even know it!
I get that I was in the wrong for lying about my feelings but you never for once were considerative towards me! It's not my fault that I'm this fragile!
"Damn it... I just wanted his approval, how did it turn out to be this way...? Where did I go wrong...?"
Why is it so hard to get his approval? I'm not doing this because I feel attracted to Hyunda but because no one says no to me!
As I sink my head deeper into the blank space between my legs and belly, I feel the constant tears welling up on my face.
"Something doesn't add up... How come I went this far just because he disapproves? It shouldn't be such a bad thing, because it's just an opinion and he is wrong. I know he is wrong... So, why am I going this far for someone whose opinion is wrong...?"
I can't figure that out...
Let me think about why I even bothered to interact with Hyunda in the first place...
"His dreadful attitude was an immediate turnoff and his innate lack of caring didn't resonate well. Nevertheless, I did what I did to get his cooperation and that was it, end of the story. It should just be that... But I bothered to interact more because I wanted his approval. I know why I wanted his approval. To prove him wrong. But that didn't work..."
The real question would be why I'm still bothered by it...
I've concluded that he is wrong and that there's nothing I can do about this case. It simply can't be helped.
That's right since he is wrong, there's nothing to be done...
Yet...
"Why am I still feeling this way?! I don't comprehend!!"
What else is there?!
Did I not do this for the sake of approval and to prove to him that he is wrong?
Surely, I won't get his approval, but I realize why. And that's because he is wrong.
"What else is there... What else..."
What is this feeling called even? Frustration? Need for approval?
No, there's no reason to feel both in this scenario.
This reminds me...
"I've never truly fallen in love with someone. I wonder how it feels like... You have to feel attracted, right? In my case, everyone else felt attracted first so I didn't really have a choice there."
But, I do know one thing.
For some reason, I want to make this right. This event, given that it's beyond repair, left me emotionally crushed and why was that...?
Could it be that Hyunda somehow matters and that I'm just not seeing it how...?
"Hahaha, maybe this is love, hahaha.................."
..............
How does love work anyway?
Maybe I'm truly attracted to him---
"No, no! That's absurd! He's rude, spiteful, insensitive and stupid! It makes no sense to feel attracted to him!"
.................
"But, wasn't he the first person to ever defy me in the aspects that I'm proud of? I know that that pisses me off, but isn't that a brave thing to do? Normally, in the face of such overwhelming force, the natural reaction would be to accept that I do possess such arsenals... But he... He defended his version of the truth even though I consider it wrong! Yet he did..."
Hm?
Why is my heartbeat suddenly faster...?
What?
As soon as I put my two hands onto my chest, I felt this immense pulse within my heart...
Why does it feel so warm...?
"I... want to talk to him.... right now. I can still make this right! I know I can! We started off from the wrong foot, but so what!? If this feeling inside my heart is strong then I can convey it to him how genuine it is and then... And then...!"
Oh no, what then...?
"Whatever! I must talk to him! And so, I will find him! In order to do so, I can't stand in this corner crying infinitely!"
Grasping every ounce of my physical strength, I got up while simultaneously whipping the tears off my eyes.
First things first, I must know where he is...
"Luckily, I can view him from the window, hopefully."
Therefore, I launched a quick stride and clung to the window immediately and there...
The view was massive, after all, I could see up to two blocks. However, since it was time for classes, there wouldn't be many people, if any at all, walking around the school grounds.
I looked to my left view but saw nothing.
Same to my right. Of course, I had to look carefully since the depth of this scenery was immense.
Yet, my heart just told me to keep going and eventually...
"He's there! I see him! Right at the top of that tree! Okay, I'll be there, just wait!"
Immediately after, I performed perhaps my strongest initial stride yet and ran towards Hyunda's location.
Hyunda isn't that far! He's two blocks away and he is at the top of the tree in the main public garden!
I know that my words will reach out to him this time!
"Almost there... Almost there!"
I ran with all my might and I got there in a good 20 seconds.
However---
"Where is he!? He was right here at the top of the tree!"
Although it was snowing, I didn't care.
Leaves were all over this garden, but more noticeably, this rustic tree, where Hyunda was in, seemed quite old.
In a state of confusion, I desperately looked in all directions to find him, but I didn't find anything.
My surroundings were public stone tables and trees. On my right, there was a massive path that would extend itself to the school's entrance, so I took it.
I also realized that I didn't care much about proving my point anymore, which was surprising. For some reason, I really just wanted to talk to him or make him stay in a moment where we could exist.
Subsequently, I let out a smile, but that smile vanished as soon as I saw the figure of Hyunda from far away.
Hyunda was seating in one of the stone tables peacefully.
If I were to act on my premise, I would meet up with him immediately, but there was a problem right now, so I hid in the back of a green bush that was along the way in order to make sure that Hyunda and... that bitch, would not notice me...
Seriously...
What the hell...
Why is she...?
Fortunately, the bush hid my whole figure completely, but I could still witness their interaction from far away. Although, I couldn't hear them.
"Why is he smiling like that to her... After our argument...? Aren't you supposed to reflect on your words.... Yet, why are you enjoying your time with that... torpid, picayune and acrid bitch...!?"
Why?
Why is Ikkiri here...?
Why are they just smiling at one another?
What?
I don't get this.
How can you...
"You said those words but... your face... it's not showing any sign of regretting it..."
Right now, I was planning on making up to Hyunda by admitting where I was a bit excessive, but a certain brash existence made her way up to him.
"Ikkiri... You fucking slut... And Hyunda, you... How could you.... After what I just went through... This isn't right... This is not how it's supposed to work...!"
Additionally to my negative emotions returning, my tears also returned.
It was impossible to feel that triumphant feeling that I was feeling a while ago anymore.
"You pushed me aside and you then go for another girl, Hyunda? Why? What's so special about that nefarious creature!? Hyuuuuuuuuuuuuuunndaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!"
How does he dare?!
No, no!
"It's not entirely Hyunda's fault! Hyunda's partially to blame and for that, I will show him the true meaning of messing with my emotions! He can kiss this exam's ass goodbye!"
But what truly mattered---- was how this meretricious wretch would be punished ---- and for that...
"Her irksome interruptions thus far have been nonstop, but that's about to change. Hyunda... I'll make you mine because I truly and really love you. I realize it. I love you so much. That's right. No other person dared to defy me in my aspects yet your whole existence challenges my inner self! And for that reason alone, I will erase this execrable menace! In other words, you, Ikkiri..."
It can't be helped.
This is concomitant when it comes to love.
To erase your enemies.