March 11th. 1 pm.

A few days have gone by ever since that night.

That night that I just can't seem to forget. A couple of days ago, I slept inside Hyunda's room and miraculously, I didn't get caught.

Furthermore, during the next morning, before it was 6 am, we managed to exit the dorm and he guided me all the way to my dorm. It was a thrilling experience! I'm baffled it actually worked!

I have no idea how he did it, but it really happened...! But...........

In the end, he offered me to sleep on his bed while he slept on the floor.

At first, I begged to differ yet he didn't seem to care... Obviously, I couldn't sleep at all. Just the fact that I was in his room made my heart burst intensively throughout every second that I was in it.

It's physically impossible for me to not feel extremely heated whenever it's just the two of us. Sincerely, a natural reaction, in all likelihood.

Resisting the temptation to relief it was the most painful part of it all... I really just wanted to tell him that it was fine for him to make his moves onto me. Honestly, I thought of just locking the door and then it might've happened, but his presence overwhelmed me.

Every time I would look at his sleeping position on the floor, my heart would enter an unhealthy rhapsody of beats.

His pillow's scent.

The aroma that his room had in specific.

The amazing fresh sensation of his white bedsheets.

Ahhhhhhhh.... I want it all!

It's so painful having to rewind it every time instead of experiencing the real thing right now.

And speaking of right now......

"Hey, are you seeing someone right now?"

In the middle of our lunchtime, inside one of the main public restaurants, amidst the crowded unworthy lifeforms that would go by another alias such as students, Hyunda asked me that.

Oh, what a simple question though.

"What? No, I'm not. Why do you ask th---"

I dropped my fork.

I was daydreaming a little bit too much.

Um.

Did Hyunda just...?

No way, no way. This is Hyunda we are talking about! No way he would actually take me into consideration even if I went through a mountain of endless efforts! This deeply pains me yet it's the truth!

So, how could such a person just....

"What's wrong? You stopped your sentence suddenly. Are you choking?"

I wish I was.

"N-No! Umm... Could you repeat what you've said previously...?"

I just want to make sure. And more importantly, I'm super glad that I am not getting interrupted! Honestly speaking, if by some weird coincidence someone from our class decides to interrupt us, then I might just lose it.

Generally, keeping my appearance should be a top priority, but.....! A single sight of a classmate of mine might just be enough.

Nevertheless, I continue to admire this outstanding human being that stands in front of me, who wears the most carefree expression ever while expressing rather lackluster care for what he might've just said to me.

"Forget it. Meaningless question."

That was not a meaningless question. As a matter of fact, my whole life might just be on the line. My heart rate might considerably decrease depending on whether or not that question was real.

My love, please be aware. You can't keep on doing this to me. Every second of this enduring hell where I have to hide my true feelings is not easy for me.

"No! It was not a meaningless question..."

"Is that so? I'll ask again then..."

Closing our distance without much effort, Hyunda almost connected our lips just by approaching his face to my own while asking his intended question.

"Are you seeing someone right now?"

"Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?" "Are you seeing someone right now?"

"Are you seeing someone right no--

"Hey, snap out of it. What's wrong?"

It happened again. Suddenly, I lost track of reality.

It just couldn't be helped though.

"Aaa-aaahh... No... I am not... Why do you ask though....?"

He really asked me that. My love interest just asked me if I'm seeing someone right now.

But Hyunda, why do you make me go through this?! Geeeezzzzz. Of course I am not...

Unless you are talking about in the future because that will undoubtedly happen sometime for sure...

"No particular reason. I just found it strange. Shouldn't girls of your age be looking for a boyfriend? Why not try your luck with someone from this school?"

No way...... I can't believe this... You're so heartless...! You'd suggest that there is someone else out there that isn't you, Hyunda?! You treat my heart so badly.......

Though, I'm used to this treatment. Therefore, I'll start eliminating all the doubts you have regarding me.

"I'm not really interested... If they want to get a boyfriend, then they can go ahead and do it!"

Because I won't act like them... The only one I want is you...

Realize that already!!! Am I not giving him enough clues?! We even slept in the same room, although nothing really happened... Still, it was pretty intense for me, okay!? It should mean something!

Our physical distance is practically non-existent... We text each other all the time.... You are my only contact but of course, you don't know that!

Or are you just teasing me...?

"Seriously? Seems like a waste to me. But, if you are not interested in getting a boyfriend, then why are you with me all the time then?"

"T-That's...! We...."

The words won't come out of my throat. It's as if I'm choking right now due to the intensity of his words. I wasn't expecting him to be so direct....!

"I think I know what's going on. You've been forcing yourself to be in my presence in order to compensate for your absence in the previous exam, right?"

Eh? What?

"It does make sense, really. You seem to have a lot of people wanting to talk to you all the time yet you force yourself to be with me. Ah, you don't have to say it, I understand. Henceforth, given that I understand, you are free to go now. Don't force yourself, Arkalee."

What? What? What? What?!

Force myself?! What is he talking about?!

"I'm not forcing myself! I am not! Where did you get this wrong idea from, you idiot!"

And who are these other people!? I don't care about them. They don't exist to me.

Only you do...

"Oh, you're not? But, if it's a wrong idea according to you, then why is the idea wrong?"

Ah...

"W-Well... Um... I can't say it. But your idea is wrong."

That was really bad. But I seriously can't tell you. Because there's only one clear reason as to why I am in your presence.

You and I are meant to be. Of course I have to be always there for you just as you are there for me!

"If you don't give a valid reason, then I will stop doing this, Arkalee."

W-W-What?!

Hyunda's cold-hearted words are seriously bad for my heart. It's like my heart gets pierced by a thousand needles every time he says horrible stuff like that!

"Are you serious.....?"

"Dead serious. You gotta give me a reason if you claim that my idea is wrong. I can't just take a no for an answer. Why is my idea wrong, Arkalee?"

U-Ummm....

How do I get out of this one....? I can't concentrate! He's pressuring me both mentally and physically! The way he's so close to my body is making me have unnecessary secondary thoughts right now!

And besides... The way he calls my name is just...

"It just is... We aren't going to argue, are we...? Please no... I don't want to argue again... I still feel horrible about our previous arguments!"

Those arguments were what showed our opposing natures. How you denied me showed me just how much of a different person you were from the rest, Hyunda.

Although the arguments served their purposes, I really wish we didn't have to enter other arguments...

"If you don't want to argue, it's fine. I'm leaving."

He's going to leave. Hyunda's already taking ahold of his school bag. His eyesight is off me. I'm no longer relevant to him.

No!!!

"Wait! Wait! Just wait, will you?! I'll give you the reason, so please stay! Don't go..."

Please don't leave me...

I'll really lose it, okay!?

"Your last chance."

He's so cold today... Did I do something?! What did I do!? No, no! What if something happened to him...?

Is something troubling you? You can talk to me about it... I'll always be there for you. There will never be a single moment in my whole life where I won't be there for you, Hyunda.

Support the author by searching for the original publication of this novel.

So, please. Don't say things like 'Your last chance' ever again as if you mean to shatter me completely.

"........Your presence is nice......."

God, what is wrong with me!? I know why I can't say it, but the things I come up with are the worst!

If I say it that I really really really love him, with a love deeper than the pacific ocean's depth, then I would be able to portray my point...

But I wouldn't know how to lead with possible rejection. I will literally kill myself.

I will end it all.

There's no room to debate about this.

Plus, what about the other girls?! Huh, do they all think I don't notice? He's mine, mine, mine and mine and yet each and every single one of you whores has the gal to look upon him like you have the right to!

"But why is my presence nice? What exactly differentiates me from the rest? You see that guy over there? Why can't he be in my place right now?"

Hyunda....!!!

How can you compare yourself to such a waste of oxygen! I can't even look at him! The person you just pointed out that's eating with the rest of his friends doesn't even begin to compare.

Not to worry though. This is a test. Fear not... Even if top models were in front of me right now, I would not surrender.

Nothing else matters but you...

"He just can't..."

Without saying anything, he started to grab his school bag once again.

Fortunately, I acted far too fast in response to such movement and the stupid mistake that my reluctance brought upon.

"You are better than him! Yes! Also, we have a relationship... I..... don't have that with anyone else, so please...!"

Waaaaahhhh!!!!

I said it... I actually said it! I didn't hesitate as much this time and I said it...

From all this past pressure, I had to say it... It couldn't be helped.

A-Am I blushing right now!? Oh god, that would be... A-Ahhh...

"How exactly am I better than him though? He looks pretty popular if you ask me. In comparison to someone like me, aren't I inferior?"

Why is he still doubting me....? Hyunda... Don't you trust me?!

Aren't my words enough...? Do I need to be more specific....?

It should be fine, then!

"Popularity doesn't mean much, you know! You are cool the way you are without popularity but he probably just interacts with other people because he's lonely! But you don't!"

"So that makes me less popular, certainly."

"T-That doesn't matter! Their opinions don't matter..."

What's with Hyunda today....

Is he feeling insecure...? Oh god... Oh god... Why do I have a bad sentiment about this...?

It's fine to be mad at me. Just don't leave me, please... I'm begging you...

"Then, whose opinion matter?"

".........Mine............."

There's not much point in hiding it anymore...

I'm getting a little bit tired of just waiting around for results... if my clues aren't enough, then I'll start taking direct action...

It's not working, no matter how I look at it. Dropping small hints isn't working on Hyunda.

I need to be more direct.

"Your opinion? But why does your opinion suddenly matter, Arkalee?"

So harsh... How can you just say those ruthless words without showing any visible resentment...

I know for a fact that you are often tactless, but today... I feel like crying, to be honest...

"Sorry..."

"Why are you apologizing? Are you not going to answer my question? Tell me. Why is your opinion more important than the other ones?"

My god....

"Because I'm here, aren't I....?"

"Therefore?"

No sentiment at all. Zero caring. Translucent emotions.

Hyunda.......... I need your love, please... What do I have to do to get it....?!

"Therefore... If I'm here with you at the moment, then shouldn't I matter the most...? Ahhh sorry! That's just my personal opinion about it... Don't mind it..."

I ended up hiding my words through a poor excuse of a rumbling mess of words...

But...

I'm always there for you... I hate being so selfish and clingy but going unrewarded causes my heart to meltdown...

"Well, you are right. You do matter the most."

.......!!

"I-I... What?"

Did he just say that?! No way, no way! I matter the most?!

I!?

The most?!

Then.......!

"You should've just said that from the start honestly. It would've been a lot easier if you had done that. So, thus far, according to you, your opinion matters the most since you are here right now alongside me. But that doesn't yet explain why my idea is wrong. Tell me a good reason as to why I'm needed here right now."

Oh, it's not right now. It's all the time. But I guess even someone as perfect as you make mistakes.

No, that's just my wrong thought process for sure. Forgive me.

More direct, more direct. You can do this, Arkalee.

"I want to discuss more our relationship!"

And not just that... But this will suffice.

Ahhhh... I have so much anxiety honestly...

My thoughts are really scattered and all over the place, aren't they...?

"I see. That explains it. I am a necessary piece for that to work. But, just say that from the start, Arkalee."

"Sorry...."

It's not that easy... This isn't something I should naturally be open up about... This sensation is still unknown to me.

I'm slowly discovering the full extension of my love and you are helping me through that discovery...

"Our relationship, huh? Do you remember the events that happened on March 1st?"

"Of course!"

How could I forget? I still remember it all perfectly. How you took me out to your secret place. How you took two bites on my neck sensually. How you bought me these two earrings that I have right now and always will. How you had your leg between my thighs in such a suggestive moment. How you made me hold my breath every time I laid my eyes on you.

There is not a single thing I don't remember when it comes to you, Hyunda.

You'd be surprised, I bet it. Hehehe.

"Great. We established the basic foundation, which was the equivalent exchange. Ahh, I'm skipping steps. You were the one that wanted to discuss it, right? Go ahead."

But he was going somewhere. Definitely.

"No, please, continue! I'm curious now..."

"Hm? Okay. I wanted to talk to you about this for a while now."

He wanted to talk about our relationship!?

I see! Just like couples have their talks about their relationship, right?! In a good sense, of course!

And, for a while? But my love... Talk to me when you want to talk, not when you find it convenient...

"As I was saying, we've already spoken about the equivalent exchange. A simple foundation, so to say. But, what after that? If that was the first step, then what can we possibly do more to define our relationship?"

S-So thoughtful! I didn't know!

I always thought that you were someone that was just detached in general, but you were actually thinking about me all this time...

Coincidentally, I was too.

"Naturally, I already know what the next step is."

"You do...?"

What's the next step though? I'm dying to know now... Are you saying that there are more ways we can progress...?

Wonderful!

"Yes. But I need your permission. Without it, we can't advance. Now, before you think about it, the main thing you should be thinking about is whether or not you are discontent with the current relationship we have."

"Eh?"

Discontent...? In what sense...?

Well... I'm discontent regardless of the sense though. I just want us to be together while knowing what we feel for each other but at the same time, I want him to feel the same way that I do.

The possibility of failure is terrifying me...! What if it all fails?! What if he just falls for another girl in the meantime!? I can't possibly handle such tragedy...

Even so... I want more!

"I am discontent! But, that's just because I want something more! ...Is that fine with you...?"

My charming reactions don't work on him, but I still end up resorting to them regardless. It's instinctively a reaction at this point...

If my aim worked, then I would abuse this, but it doesn't...

"It is fine with me, Arkalee. I can always advance if you want to advance too. It's up to you, therefore. With that said, the next step is honesty. Something you struggle with."

..................

"Am I really not that honest....?"

I know I hide a lot, but... I have valid reasons behind it!

"If you were honest with your intentions then we wouldn't have wasted ten minutes just on the previous argument, wouldn't we? But that's beside the point. In order for you to be honest, you need to get rid of your doubts first."

"....You're not that honest with me either...."

I know you hide a lot. After all, I am the one that observes you the most....

It really hurts when you try to hide something that is mine to know by nature. What is yours is mine and what is mine is yours! That's how couples work, right...?

"Yeah. You are right. To be honest, I wanted to tell you something for a while. Why do you have twin-tails?"

Oh... He admitted it...

"I always found them cool... Back in the fourth-grade, I tried them and my classmates found them cute and so---"

"Really? You should let your hair be free."

"Y-You think so?!"

I didn't know that he had already evaluated my appearance to that extent...!

Should I ask him what he additionally thinks of my other assets as well...?

"This is just part of being honest. I went first. I told you my honest opinion about something that you have. Now, it's your turn."

"Okay......"

That's really hard my love. You are perfect. Can someone that's perfect become even more perfect? If so, then that's what I would wish for.

But I'm afraid you might be beyond perfection and perfection might just ruin you...

So....

"You should try harder in the upcoming exams! You always show a really weak-spirited attitude, you know?"

Also, I'm worried that Hyunda might fail the upcoming exam... I might have a heart attack if he keeps on sabotaging himself like this...!

He's really lazy too. But that's fine. I think he's hiding something but I obviously don't know what.

"Since this is about being honest, I'll just come out of the closet and say it. I'll fail the upcoming exam."

!?

"Why?!"

"Because I don't have to mandatorily pass the exam. I only have to mandatorily pass the exam when I absolutely have to. The upcoming case is not that scenario."

He's so carefree! What if this is just over-confidence from his part!?

I can't possibl---

"What? Your expression tells me that you are doubting me. Are you? Be honest, remember."

".....Yes! I am doubting you! It's a far too reckless strategy and you should know it! Honestly, it's too dumb!"

I was expecting an angry expression, but Hyunda responded with a challenging confident smile instead...!

"Then, I'm sure you won't mind if we made a small bet on this, wouldn't you?"

"A bet...?"

"Yes, a bet. Think of it like this... After this special exam, in April, when April's special exam is announced, I will pass the exam. You said it was a reckless strategy which implied that my strategy would not work the majority of the time, right? I don't see the problem here. Also, as for the reward, if you win, I'll do anything you want. No matter how unreasonable."

A-Anything I want?! Is he serious....?

But, how is that different from the equivalent exchange...?

"Oh right. Don't think of this as the equivalent exchange. The equivalent exchange, although you can ask for unreasonable propositions, this is far more different. I'm talking about anything. Regardless of whether it's supposed to be within my boundaries or not. I'll have to make the exception if I lose. Do you understand the difference here?"

"Um..."

Let me think...

If in the equivalent exchange, at the trade of another favor, he can ask me something unreasonable that's within my power, then it's possible to do that request...

However, in this bet... Does it have to go beyond my power?!

J-Just what is he......

"I get it..."

"Nice. Additionally speaking, should I win, you'll do something I want. Regardless of whether you want it or not."

Oh god.... Don't say those words in public, please....

If only you knew just what I'm going through right now.

I won't be able to sleep at night if you keep stimulating my mind like that!

"Unless you want to call this bet off."

"N-Not a chance! It is on!"

What are you thinking right now? What do you want to do with me should you win this bet?

I don't mind losing, you know?

Because, no matter how I look at it, it's a win-win scenario to me. If I win the bet, then I get what I want...

Well, I'll have to think about that for sure...

Nonetheless, if I lose, then he gets to order me anything. Anything he so wants.

Just the thought is making my mind slip away.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to mention something funny that happened the other day. Wanna hear it?"

"Sure!"

Why would I not want to hear it?

I've gotten used to your cold demeanor, so you can treat me however you so please, Hyunda.

That's partially the task of loving you. To accept you. I just hope that when the day comes, that you'll accept me too...

"So Daniel and I were having this casual conversation and you wouldn't believe the things he said to me. He said that you had a crush on me! Hahahaha!!"

"E-Ehhh!?"

I am going to end this jerk's life. Who the hell do you think you are?! How dare you meddle in our romance?!

Also...

Hyunda, why are you laughing?! It's not a crush... It's pure love... This isn't transient! It won't go away....

"He reasoned that you were being too physically clingy and that was why you had a crush on me. Hey, do you?"

Oh god. Why?

Why do you always make such rapid questions like those!? Give me a single moment, please!

I can't------

"Remember, be honest."

"...........Unfair..........."

I said that in an extremely low-toned voice...

The truth is, I want to tell him, but.... That'll ruin so much stuff!

Or am I already lagging behind by not making my move? Should I just ignore it all and say it?

Yes... I should.... But this anxiety and lack of commitment won't go away...

Ahhhh! But I have to!

It's as you said Yuka-sensei if I don't take the chances then.....!

"Just say yes or no. I meant this as a joke, but I'm curious now. Well, it's probably a 'no'. Remember when we had our arguments and you said you were attracted to me? That was a lie back then. So, naturally, nothing changed, correct?"

Whhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt!?

That's the impression you have?!

Well....

Why would you not have that impression... ---- Still! He's so damn clueless!

I can't tell if he's just openly teasing me or not at this point!

And besides, if I say 'no' then my chances are ruined. No matter how I look at it, I have to go with a 'yes' and subsequently justify my words by confessing.

This is important.

It's really happening... I don't have time to think about being rejected. I'm fine with trying again and again.

Sure, it will hurt at first but... This anxiety hurts a whole lot more.

"Um, Hyunda, you see! I, actually l----"

"Oh yeah, put that aside for now. It was just a joke anyways. This might be sudden, but I need a favor. It's from the equivalent exchange."

I was interrupted mid-confession. I am both grateful and greatly pissed off. In addition, this will give me a proper time to think about a better sequence plan.

All in all, I have to tell him pretty soon. I thought I could keep these feelings inside but I need him to know how I feel or else he'll never know!

Still, he needs a favor. Which means, he needs to rely on me.

"Y-Yeah?! What do you need!?!?"

Ahhh, my enthusiasm and my anger intertwined slightly...

My legs won't stop shaking... That was embarrassing, hahahahaha.........

At least he didn't hear it...

"You know Yulia, right? From our class."

Why is Hyunda mentioning a girl's name that isn't mine?

Who is this girl? In our class? And what is your relationship with her?

Have you two talked?

If so, then for how long? Do you have her number? I hope not.

Should I ask him to confiscate his own phone? Deleting contacts would be extremely nice, to be honest.

"Of course..."

"Your answer didn't seem that great. I'm assuming you two aren't friends?"

My love, my love. Being friends with potential enemies doesn't sound like a bad strategy at first since they might be easy to manipulate but...

Please refer to me only and no one else in our conversations.

"Hahaha, nope. We haven't talked. Why?"

"Mhm... Can you keep secrets?"

"Yes, I can!"

Why won't you trust me already, geeeeeeeeeeeezzzz!!!!

Ultimately, despite my initial worries, Hyunda closed in on me and told me the following through my left ear.

"Yulia and Daniel are in a relationship."

Oh?

"Seriously?!"

But he backs off now. You could've stayed closer, you know...

"Yeah. I'm choosing to trust you with this though. Daniel told me not to tell anyone."

And out of all the people to place your trust in, you chose me?! Ahhh, I love you so so so much!!!

"I won't! I won't! You can count on me! So, what is it that you want as your favor?! I'm listening, I'm listening!"

I'm really, really, but really, happy right now.

This is the second time he has entrusted me with his secrets! This means that he's starting to view me as someone trustworthy...

That's perfect because my previous image was a bit too arrogant and self-absorbed...

Thus, I need to show him that I'm not unloyal like he thinks I am.

"I want to know everything there is about Yulia."

.........................???????

"Sorry..........?!"

Please tell me this is some sort of bad joke.