The button has been pushed!
TICK
Holy cow what is that noise?
TOCK
Ah, I see
TICK
You seem to be in a room full of clocks.
TOCK
[https://image.shutterstock.com/z/stock-photo-vintage-wall-clocks-variety-of-styles-440243512.jpg]
TICK
Interesting.
TOCK
Clocks line the walls.
TICK
All ticking and tocking in unison.
TOCK
Actually, come to think of it…
TICK
We’ve (well, you’ve)...
TOCK
...been hearing the ticking off and on for a while now.
TICK
Right?
TOCK
The sound is certainly loud enough to…
TICK
…travel through the walls.
TOCK
And these are hekkin’ thick walls, let me tell ya.
TOCK
This is actually kind of annoying.
TICK
What will you do?
TOCK
The clocks all have different times.
TICK
It looks like whoever put the batteries in…
TOCK
…didn’t bother to set the things.
TICK
Not one of the clocks here agrees with another…
TOCK
…on the subject of what time it is.
TICK
You decide to set the clocks.
TOCK
Make them all have the same time.
TICK
What time is it now?
TOCK
Oh, well, wouldn’t you like to know.
TICK
Nope, not gonna tell you.
TOCK
Even without knowing the time…
TICK
…you decide to set the clocks.
TOCK
To noon, because why not.
TICK
It takes you quite some time to do.
TOCK
(Heehee time pun.)
TICK
By the time you set the last clock, the first…
TOCK
…clock you set says 12:09.
TICK
So there’s a discrepancy of nine minutes in the clocks.
TOCK
But, it’s better than the sheer randomness that…
TICK
…existed when you got here.
TOCK
Right?
TICK
Not better.
TOCK
You get to work again.
TICK
You carefully, quickly reset the clocks.
TOCK
There.
TICK
Now they all say 12:16.
TOCK
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
Ish, since they’re analog.
TICK
Do you feel better about the world now?
Good.
TOCK
Well, the clocks are all set.
TICK
Congrats.
TOCK
What now?
----------------------------------------
You sit down on the ground, facing a wall of clocks.
TICK
Of course, since clocks cover all the walls…
TOCK
…you’re facing a wall of clocks by default.
TICK
But anyways.
TOCK
You get into that famous yoga stance.
TICK
Lotus?
TOCK
I think it’s called lotus position.
TICK
Then you close your eyes and meditate.
TOCK
I’ve never meditated, so I don’t know what…
TICK
…exactly it is you’re doing.
TOCK
It looks pretty boring, not gonna lie.
TICK
Aaaand you sit there.
TOCK
For what feels to me like ages.
TICK
…
TOCK
….
TICK
……
TOCK
………
TICK
Yep, this is super boring for me.
TOCK
You seem to be having fun, though.
TICK
I think.
TOCK
Are…
TICK
Are you dead?
TOCK
Hello?
TICK
If you’re dead, don’t blink.
TOCK
Oh Lord you’re dead.
TICK
Uhhhh
TOCK
We really need to get a heart monitor on…
TICK
…the test subjects.
TOCK
Not that it would help here.
TICK
With all the damn ticking.
TOCK
And the tocking.
TICK
Actually…
TOCK
I wonder what would happen if you put a…
TICK
…heart monitor on a clock.
TOCK
Or on one of those bass-heavy speakers.
TICK
Would probably drive the monitor insane.
TOCK
That or give it a panic attack.
TICK
There has to be a YouTube video around…
TOCK
…where someone did that.
TICK
You just sit there and I’ll go see.
TOCK
----------------------------------------
Well that was fascinating.
TICK
I found out all about heart monitors!
TOCK
And then I was lead down the YouTube…
TICK
…rabbit hole of fascinating documentaries.
TOCK
I learned a lot about octopi.
TICK
You’re glaring at the ceiling.
TOCK
No, I don’t ever shut up, why?
TICK
Actually, I was hired because I can…
TOCK
…ramble on for hours and hours without…
TICK
…any external input whatsoever.
TOCK
Oh, it stops you from meditating?
TICK
Sorry.
TOCK
I’ve never meditated.
TICK
On anything.
TOCK
Ever.
TICK
Yoga’s super not for me.
TOCK
You get to your feet, grumbling.
TICK
Done meditating?
TOCK
You are since I'm annoying?
TICK
Great!
TOCK
Want to do anything else?
----------------------------------------
You can’t take the ticking any more.
TICK
Or the tocking.
TOCK
You feel like the sound is replacing your heartbeat.
TICK
And if the clocks stop, so will you.
TOCK
It’s oddly terrifying.
TICK
So you get to work.
TOCK
You pull clock after clock off the wall.
TICK
Then you take the batteries out, and put them back.
TOCK
It takes a while.
TICK
There are a lot of clocks.
TOCK
Slowly, very slowly...
TICK
...the noise gets quieter.
TOCK
And quieter.
TICK
Until it’s bearable.
TOCK
You get down to the last few clocks…
TICK
…taking the batteries out.
TOCK
Until there is no sound left.
Wow, that’s better. I can hear myself think again! Woo! Not that I ever really think, most of my thoughts come unbidden from my internal wikipedia.
You can probably hear yourself think, too. And you didn’t die from either the ticking or lack of ticking. All the good things.
So now what?
----------------------------------------
You, with your destructive tendencies, pull a clock off the wall and, with the enthusiasm of an American football player spiking a ball, throw it on the ground.
It shatters into a million pieces, springs and gears going everywhere.
Which is surprising, because clocks nowadays only have like a one inch by three inch box turning the hands.
Anyways.
You had so much fun smashing the clock that you decide to do it again.
For the next ten minutes or so you pull random clocks off the wall and hurl them to the concrete floor. You really get a workout. And all your pent-up anger and frustration leaves, too.
This room is quite cathartic for you.
Finally you’ve worked out all your issues, and settle down. The remains of clocks are scattered across the ground. It kinda looks like a bear got in there.
Epic.
----------------------------------------
Having done all you wanted and needed to, you turn back to the center of the room.
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No