You push the button.
Ding.
Mr. Table is back! This time there are several (well, four) glasses of juice.
[https://i0.wp.com/post.healthline.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/juice-juices-healthy-drink-1296x728-header-1296x728.jpg?w=1155&h=1528]Woo juice! Clearly this is… Erm… Maybe a different picture will be more clear?
[https://www.modernhoney.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/Healthy-Juice-Cleanse-Recipes-4.jpg]Uhhhh… Maybe… A different picture?
[https://delightfulmomfood.com/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/juicing-recipes.jpg]Erm.
Ok, but, why are there so many pictures of the same four juices? Clearly these are the same ingredients, or at least very similar ones. But they're all in different glasses and on different backgrounds. Why? Is there some conspiracy going on here that I'm just now finding out about? I'm usually up on all the conspiracies...
If there isn't, I'm going to start one. On to the next picture!
[https://www.udaipurblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/Healthy-Living-Hub.jpg]
Finally! Ingredients!
Ok, let’s do this!
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You pick up a glass of red juice. It looks suspiciously like watermelon juice, but the ingredients claim it’s grape and grapefruit.
And, if I had to guess, the previous pictures had beets or red cabbage in it. They look a lot like beet juice, while this one is significantly pinker and grainier.
The ingredients are a lie.
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Here ya go! A delicious combination of grapes, cucumbers, and… pickles.
Something tells me that wouldn’t be a particularly good juice.
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Although, I suspect that any juice this color made by a human with the intention of being drunk- drank- drinken- whatever... wouldn’t be made with pickles and cucumbers. Just a suspicion of mine.
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It may shock you to learn, but the orange juice…
Is probably made out of oranges.
I know. It was weird for me to learn, too.
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There aren’t any ingredients on this one, but I have had more than one juice in my life, and I’d be willing to bet money that this is carrot juice. There might be a couple other ingredients in it, but carrots make up at least half.
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You drink the juices of your choice. Or, of our choice.
...Or, of some intern’s choice.
You feel healthy and hydrated. Time to move on?
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes No
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To: Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Them Hey, remember that weird glitch Alex asked me to check out when the subject jammed the button down? Looks like They got into the system again.
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To: IT Desk 3 From: Big Boss Chris Subject: Re: Them Is there any way you can get them out?
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To: Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Re: Re: Them Ehhhh not at the moment. I’m pretty sure I figured out how They got in, but it’ll take a system reboot to completely fix the hole.
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To: Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Re: Re: Them ...Boss? It’s been an hour… Still waiting to hear what to do…
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To: IT Desk 3 From: Big Boss Chris Subject: Re: Re: Re: Them Leave it be. At this point there’s nothing we can do about it. The instant the Subject leaves we’ll shut everything down to do a complete system check.
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To: Big Boss Chris From: IT Desk 3 Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Them Will do, boss!