Part 6 (cont.)

Michael said little as the plates were finally served around. Allison placed Michael’s down just like all the rest and found the last open seat when finished. Michael looked down at the plate with a wistful expression as he leaned over the steam and remarked, “It’s Melissa’s recipe and finely executed.” And that was the recognition he gave Allison, who took it the same as a thank you.

Clearing his throat with a rough sound which pushed away all other sounds, he set his hands on the table and got to his feet. He remarked only, “Restroom” before he slipped through the doorway and down the hall. I looked to Lissa but her eyes pushed sharply against me until all trace of Michael’s footsteps had receded and the creak of a closing door swallowed the steps. Only then did her shoulders relax as she gave me a proper glare followed by, “That was probably not the best thing to say….”

Allison gestured with a fork and noted, “But Sean meant it.”

Quilla looked at me with her lips curled down and sternly asked, “Do you hate my daddy? And what do you want with my mommy?”

Sighing, Lissa reached a hand out for Quilla’s shoulder but she deftly evaded it and pressed her questions again. I set my hands out on the table and told her, “I don’t hate him but you know that there are certain people who just don’t get along with each other. I told him how I feel. I care for your mother. I love her and I love you. You are both wonderful people who I want to spend more time with.”

Allison jumped in with wiggling anime eyebrows, “And Sean loves me too!”

Quilla fumed a little, like her father at his worst, puffing the steam off her plate. “I don’t like you. You’re mean to daddy and I don’t want you around mommy. Daddy is tough on me because he loves me. You don’t get to speak for me to daddy! I love him and I don’t care what you think of him!”

I could see Lissa on the other side of Quilla with her hand raised, wanting to smack her on the hand or the cheek. I’d never seen her hit Quilla before and I didn’t want to see it happen. I raised my hands and told her, “Alright. Don’t like me then. Don’t talk to me. But your mommy is an adult and she makes her own choices too about who her…friends are. I’m sorry I spoke for you. You’re six and you can talk for yourself.”

Allison cocked her head and asked, “When was your birthday, Quilla?”

Quilla’s mouth had been opening and clenching like she was on the verge of snarling. But Allison’s words threw her off balance. She turned to look and told her, “November 12th.”

Answering with a pout, Allison lamented, “But that’s so far away! Now I wish I could’ve planned your party. Six only comes once. As does seven. You need to let me plan your party for seven! It’s a very special number. But I hope your sixth was a lot of fun.”

Struggling to hold onto her shard of anger, Quilla’s frown seemed to slip. Lissa settled her arm as Quilla recalled her birthday. I’d only heard bits of it second-hand from Lissa. It was enough to put the glimmer of a little smile on Quilla’s face as she recalled her cake.

When she was done, she still didn’t quite look happy but she also didn’t seem to have much enthusiasm for anger. I kept my head down to avoid her gaze but I was still able to see through the doorway. I was the first to see what happened next.

I expected Michael’s footsteps but the loud version which had gone with him to the restroom hadn’t followed him back. And the person who stepped through the doorway wasn’t Michael. She was a Kinrae.

Standing even shorter than me was a young Kinrae girl with dark hair that hung straight around her head in an even cut down to her firm eyebrows in the front and over her shoulder in the back. She had vast, brown eyes and a faint, lingering frown of her lip line. She wore an all-black blouse with long, glossy sleeves and a matching skirt like mine, only without the white part. Her hips were wide but her bust barely made a dent in the fabric of her top. She held her tiny hands in front of her (I could see the watermark of an imitation Kinrae on her palms) and wore a shading of a blush red across her cheeks.

Allison was the first of the others to notice her. She gave a little gasp. Quilla turned with a frown on her face and Lissa’s mouth hung open. Scuffing her feet, the new girl said softly, “Umm…uhh…my name is Linnea. Michael wanted me…to speak for him. If that’s okay.”

The following silence allowed the echoing bark of a distant dog to invade the house. ‘Linnea’ kept her head down. Her wide eyes darted to Lissa, who was still staring, words absent from her. Quilla was the first to speak, asking only, “Daddy?”

‘Linnea’ wiped away her frown and drew a cautious smile. She clasped her hands a few times and said, “Linnea. But please think of it the same as talking to your daddy. I’ll do my best.”

It was strange how committed ‘Linnea’ seemed to her role to the point I did wonder if this was actually a Kinrae standing in for Michael. He had done work with related imitation device technologies so he definitely could have access to science-minded Kinrae volunteers and he absolutely could have access to an imitation device.

Quilla looked pained and ‘Linnea’ reflected some of her pain like a mirror. Allison pressed a finger to her lips and then her eyes widened. She jumped up quickly and edged over next to ‘Linnea’, who gave Allison a shy but welcoming look.

With a smirk, Allison put her arm around ‘Linnea’, who flinched and made herself even smaller next to Allison. Her smirk stretching into a full smile, Allison said exuberantly, “Hiya, Linnea! It’s nice to meet you. You’re really pretty!”

‘Linnea’ glanced away, her dusting of red blush deepening. She stammered a little before she finally managed, “Thank you, Allison. It’s nice to meet you too.”

I checked Lissa but she’d barely moved. I thought that Quilla was either on the verge of putting it all together or was hopelessly confused by the way ‘Linnea’ talked.

Allison offered, “QBC…it’s like this. Linnea knows your daddy really really well and she’s volunteered to make things better because everyone is upset and feeling bad. And I’ll start by telling Linnea…I’m really sorry about what I said about QBC’s daddy. No matter if it was right or not, I shouldn’t have said it. Could you ask him to forgive me?” Quilla mouthed those initials with annoyance even as she continued to puzzle out the new girl.

‘Linnea’s eyes widened even more and her mouth opened. She gave a little sniffle, like the one Quilla had given before, as she said, “No need to ask. You were very right. Michael has his issues with other humans, even those close to him. He’s sorry…for so many things…” The sniffling became louder as tears streamed around the edges of Linnea’s face, dripping off her cheeks. I’d never ever seen Michael get close to crying.

She kept wiping them away but they kept coming back. Eventually, she stopped wiping and just let them flow with a whimpering sob, hands cupping her face. Allison moved to offer a napkin for Linnea’s tears but Quilla moved faster. She jumped up with the napkin next to her plate and offered it to Linnea with a hug around her middle.

Stolen story; please report.

Looking down, Linnea gazed at Quilla as she smiled back and said, “Here you go, Linnea. Don’t cry. It’ll be okay.”

She accepted the napkin and dabbed her tears even as they continued to flow down her face. Taking her by the hand, Quilla led Linnea over to the chair where Michael had been seated. She hesitated and said, “I know your daddy would be fine with me in his seat and I can sample his dinner for him. But…your mommy…I’m not sure how she feels.” Linnea gave Lissa a quick glance before staring at the floor.

Finally, Lissa found words, asking with a methodical, acrid tone, “Is this some kind of game?”

Glancing up, Linnea shook her head. “Not at all. I’m just here to help….just like Allison said.”

After flashing a skeptical look at Allison, Lissa kept her focus on Linnea as she said, “You tell Michael that….no one else talking for him can change all those bitter years.”

Immediately, Linnea scooted her chair closer to Lissa and grasped her hand. Urgently, she said, “He knows. He knows so well. He’s so sorry for all of it, even things which are still a mystery to him. He’s sorry for the way he is and he wishes so hard he could change. He understands he can’t turn back time and he doesn’t want to. But he wants to make amends.”

Lissa slipped her hand out of Linnea’s and said slowly, “Then he should start. Face to face. Right now.”

Linnea breathed a sigh through her nose and watched Lissa with sad eyes. “He should. But he knows that there is a face in your mind and the minds of others after so much pain he’s caused. He wanted me to show my face….a different face…so I can better translate for him what he holds back and can’t say with his face.”

Her face blank, Lissa asked, “And what’s that? What does Michael have to say?”

Sitting with her legs crossed, Linnea leaned back in the chair and took a deep breath. She looked Lissa in the eye.

“Just that he knows you’re an amazing lady and he’s sorry he didn’t say it more often before or more clearly. He’s really sorry for all the times he wasn’t there when you needed him…in body and in feeling. He knows that the way he presents himself is cold, cruel, and brooding. But he wants to be warm, caring, and inviting. It’s just really hard for him…”

Linnea continued, winding through little things which she whispered softly to Lissa, things I couldn’t quite hear. When she was done, all Lissa could do was nod. Then Linnea moved on to Quilla.

“Your daddy is so sorry he doesn’t play with you more. He treasures your heart. He treasures your play. He’s actually intimidated and amazed by you. He only knows how to talk to you in his language, not yours. He has this silly little thought of starting things over and just you and him having so much fun. He wants to know you better. He misses you. But he respects your mother and he knows her and him are better for one another apart. Tonight though, he couldn’t bear to know you were so close and not see you….”

Then, her eyes turned to me. I wanted to say something first but she urged me to listen.

“Michael has treated you so poorly because of jealousy. Because he always felt that you were more like how he wanted to be around his wife and daughter. He envies you and he knows you speak truthfully. He knows the kind of man he is, that’s why I’m here….and I don’t know what else to say but so many quiet and fervent apologies...not just to you but to everyone…from Michael.”

I returned an apology which she implored me that she didn’t need but she eventually accepted it. I offered the same to Quilla from our argument before Linnea arrived. She barely remembered it but accepted after Linnea urged her. Allison pouted and reminded us all, gesturing to the lack of steam over the plates, “And the food I made is getting stone cold!”

Lissa was the only one whose demeanor didn’t change and she was the first to begin eating. We joined her as Allison remarked on all the playing Quilla had done after school. Quilla added a second commentary which forced Linnea to listen back and forth to get both sides.

The meal was amazing, although I had no idea how close Allison’s efforts were to the original recipe. I tried to strike up a conversation with Lissa, but it was like I wasn’t even there. She responded normally only to Quilla and Allison. Her harsh gaze on Linnea stayed firm, especially as Linnea giggled at the recount of the veggie ninja and the evils of salt.

Through the giggles, her tears returned along with trembling shoulders. Cautiously, she touched Quilla on the head then gave her an enveloping hug followed by a small kiss on the cheek. It was something I’d seen Lissa do to Quilla before. Perhaps Michael had done it once but not the same way.

Allison wrapped them both up in a hug. Lissa stood and took her plate over to the sink as soon as she was done eating.

That was how the rest of the evening went. Quilla invited Linnea to her room and Linnea offered sincere, emphatic feeling for every little treasure Quilla shared with her. I wondered, as I paused by the doorway, if this was what Michael felt underneath each and every time he’d been around her.

Lissa haunted the doorways and sunk into the couches. She seemed to have adopted Michael’s withdrawal and plunged her nails into an armrest. I wanted to help. I wanted to offer her something but when a few valiant efforts by Allison didn’t even break through, I knew I didn’t have a chance.

I swirled a glass of cranberry juice Allison had offered me, sipping little by little. She had her own. There were so many thoughts and questions and regrets cluttering my mind that none of them could get out. Allison didn’t pry, she just sat across from me in the same way she always did, male or female, flirty or friendly.

The calm was broken by Lissa standing in the doorway, her voice drained of energy as she said, “I called a cab for you two. I’ll pay the fare and they’ll take you home.” It was getting late enough that the bus would be a problem.

I offered quickly to pay but Lissa shot me down. I tried to offer something. The plan for a date was now a distant dream in any form.

I told her, “If you need anything. If you need to talk or yell or scream, it’s okay. We’re your friends.” Allison gave a little smile but said nothing.

Automatically, Lissa said, “I know….I know. But I can’t do this right now. So…thank you for the meal, Allison. You can return the device whenever you like. Sean….you can have the memory card from my camera if you want to share the rest of today’s photos with your uncle or whatever…I just ask you don’t call me. I need time…..I just need time.” She let slip a little sniffle.

Allison gave a smile with a nod and I vigorously accepted her conditions on calling but told her to keep the memory card, reminding her, “You said you need more smiles. So, you need that card more than me right now.”

Lissa clenched her hands in front of her and said nothing else.