As I watched his eyes widen, I knew I should’ve given it more softening. But it was said, it was out there, and we would have to deal with it. The unfortunate thing of words is that they can isolate and crystallize a single meaning and remove all other possibilities from thought.

I wasn’t sure where I got that notion from. It seemed like something Uncle Nolan would approve of though. I mentioned it to Sean but he didn’t give much of a response.

Silence wasn’t gonna help anyone, so I kept talking, offering clarification that, “So far as an actual name, Daemonrae, is probably the closest approximation. That is their name. Our name. The one we came to this world with. But it’s a name now loaded with so many troublesome meanings for humans. Sure, there’s plenty of cultures where that’s not the case but the majority feeling is one of fear and uncertainty. That’s why they let humans name them with something that seemed more comfortable, even if it was the name given to humanity, Kinrae.”

More silence. I scooted up in bed again and offered, “Do you need anything clarified?”

He grimaced. I expected his comment, “Pretty much everything. This seems like such a strange way of asking me to join the…Daemonrae.”

I bowed my head and then felt a particular memory tickle at the back of my head. “Well, you were on a watchlist for a while. Ever since the Accident. You see, one of them…those spirits I mentioned, the ones the Daemonrae aspire to be like, she was actually with you during that.”

He took a deep breath. He wanted to know more. I scratched at the memory, trying to tease out as much as possible for both of us. I felt vindicated that I’d actually seen something or someone with me in the car, even if the memory wasn’t mine.

"I know she was one of the reasons you were on a list. As well, Kinrae with your name in other worlds have found their way to us. But I can’t say if Tessa is one of those other versions of you.” Not knowing much about Tessa left me as frustrated as Sean. I hoped Naltra might reveal more.

I sifted over my remaining memories which weren’t of being Sean. Certain ones I hadn’t said were starting to get fuzzy. I suspected that was because my mind was settling in to being Sean more than being the Daemonrae I was before. I clenched my teeth and dug at them like trying to grasp fragments of a distant dream.

I teased out, “The Daemonrae didn’t make the devices. That’s why they’re just as curious about what they do as Kinrae scientists are. But they know more features than they let on.”

I bowed my head again and told Sean, “Sorry, my head is a bit of a jumble. I’m not sure if I should call myself a Daemonrae anymore since I’m a Kinrae like you now. And picking apart what’s you and what’s me is…to say the least, bewildering.”

He scooted closer to me in the bed, put his hand around my shoulder, and leaned close. I arched my eyebrows. I remarked, “You know…we should…”

“…Videotape this for Allison?” What I was thinking. Were we going to have that identical twins thing where we finished each other’s sentences? I could imagine that getting bothersome real fast. Sean apologized, expressing much the same notion as I was thinking. Yeah, this would take some getting used to.

The initial shock for both of us seemed to be wearing off and we were left with the consequences. It was at this point that my pool of memories didn’t have anything to offer aside from, “We should…” I flashed him a glare and he put a hand to his mouth. I finished, “….Probably go talk to Naltra. It seems like she would know what happens next aside from dealing with mom and dad and making a choice…”

He leaned against the pillow on his side and asked, “About that choice. I was thinking. Say we achieve whatever mental thing we need to do…and we gain a power like Allison’s or whatever. Why can’t you just stay here and be my twin sister? You can even take the name Corlie. I’m sure Allison would approve. That way it’s not one of us has to stay and one has to go. Wouldn’t that work?”

I liked the notion. I liked it because I didn’t want to leave Lissa or Allison or my life. But this wasn’t my life. I was just a copy. But I could make out a new life being the girl version of Sean. Sure, why not put myself up as his sister? With how screwed up our family was, mom surely could’ve given one of her children up for adoption or abandoned them. I was already pondering a backstory where I had to live on the streets and never got assigned a social security number or anything. It could work. Quite possibly.

He seemed to notice that I was considering it. I tried to put it up against all my Daemonrae memories to find some flaw in the notion. There had to be something. Well, there kinda was. I would be depriving our group of a member who might enlighten others and find joy there. But any fate without Allison or Lissa around seemed too disheartening to imagine.

I reached out for his hand and nodded. “I don’t see anything to contradict it. I mean why change forever and leave? Why be committed nomads wandering when there’s a search for the spirits of Ae right here?”

He smiled with me and asked, “So, what do we do?”

“I’m still a vote for running screaming from the building, grabbing the girls, and never looking back, even though my legs are weak. But we probably should deliver our answer to Naltra. Then I assume we can go identical twin-like for a while until we take the train back. But then Clayton and Malcolm become a problem.”

So many bits of confusion and uncertainty littering everything. But together we felt a sense of hope about what might come next.

I let Sean lead the way out of the bedroom, especially since my legs trembled and I had to cling to the wall. The door to Naltra’s workplace was closed. I had those butterflies again, so I instead visualized the butterflies on a pair of Allison’s pants I really liked.

We slipped through the doorway together and stepped out. Allison and Lissa were seated on beanbag chairs set against the opposite wall while Naltra stood and leaned against her workbench. They noticed us immediately. Allison hopped up and exclaimed, “Duplication! Does it include my ability too? If so, my mind races with possibilities!” As expected.

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Lissa gave a look of concern, noting, “This might take some explanation back home. Still, it’s a doubly-pleasant sight.”

It was nice to let them indulge in the simplicity of that assumption before we had to tell them the complicated truth. I stepped ahead of my kin and looked at Naltra. She was already staring at me. I took a deep breath and said, “We have a lot to say…to everyone…even Naltra.” Naltra wore a calm expression as she folded her arms.

I found as much difficulty in explaining to them as I did for Sean. Fortunately, he was there to help me out on the bits he understood. We worked slowly, saving the ultimate choice till the end.

I finished, “And so, the memories I have tell me that one of us has to stay and one of us has to go. To maintain some sort of balance. To either let Sean join the Daemonrae or let me return with what I’ve learned from Sean. But, we’ve decided both those options suck ass because it takes us away from the two of you…” I looked to Allison and Lissa in turn.

Their expressions had changed from curiosity to confusion followed by concern and alarm. Allison looked more delighted at the name resolution while Lissa gave an involuntary shiver.

There were many questions.

Allison delineated it with a smile, noting, “Sean is Sean. But so is the Sean in light lavender next to him. He’s an anime girl who decided to become a Sean because the anime girls think Sean is special. She went to sleep and dreamed of being Sean with her body and mind changing to become identical to Sean’s. Now she’s awake and she’s a twin of Sean. But then who was Tessa? Was she Sean too?”

We looked to Naltra for that. She told us, “Tessa is just someone who volunteered to make sure Sean got at least to the point he is now.”

We all grumbled over this ambiguous answer. But we had another matter to deal with. I stepped forward and told Naltra, “About where we’re headed. Neither of us will abandon Allison or Lissa. We’ve both made the choice to stay. This is our home.”

Naltra clenched her arms and said, “One of you must go and one must stay. That’s the whole reason there are two of you. One to replace or one to save what has been learned.”

Allison jumped up. “You can’t replace Sean!”

I added, “You’re right, Allison. I wouldn’t dare do that and it would break my heart to leave you.”

Allison noted, “Also, I’m exclusive to Sean but that doesn’t limit me if there happened to be more than one Sean at a time.” Lissa looked like she was just following along as best she could.

Naltra didn’t back down. “This is done to protect both you and the rest of us. We’ve been quiet and covert and careful. There is no other choice.”

I relaxed despite her tension, I approached her but the other Sean spoke, “There is always another choice. For so long, I thought that if I was quiet when my parents were loud, if I was covert about what I did when they were in the other room, and if I was careful about what I did and said that I wouldn’t get hurt. But all that does is guard the status quo. From what I hear, you favor change. This Ae thing you regard so highly does too. But you’re stuck now. For at least nine years you have been stuck sufficing with the fact that you can trade Kinrae with your kind and not get noticed. But you’re operating on fear that if humans find out then they’ll hate and want to destroy you. But keeping fear hidden only fosters the worst things inside. Isn’t that what you’re trying to tell me with visiting my parents? Isn’t that what you want me to learn? It’s something you need to learn too.”

Gently, slowly, Naltra’s tension eased in all but her face. She looked at Sean and asked him, “What would you do when people come asking about the two of you?”

He leaned over and put his arm around my shoulder. “I know we’re going home together. People can ask all they like. We’ll tell them the truth. In fact, on Monday…I want both of us to stroll into class and tell them everything. Allison can even tag along, if she likes. No more secrets and lies. That’s how fearful folklore gets started. The only way to end it is to tell the truth to as many people as possible.”

Naltra’s mouth dipped open. Her voice quivered, “That's so easy to say but it could become like Piedmont, but all over the place. The Kinrae wouldn’t understand. There would be chaos. We’d have to evacuate. I don’t want to think about what would happen to this shop.”

That was the downside to it all. We could reveal everything, but it would also spread disorder. Daemonrae were sure to be discriminated against, hurt, or worse. We would be in trouble too. Things would never be the same.

But…”You can’t just think of the negative possibilities. There are far more good people out there. There’s hope out there. You don’t have to walk on glass and present a public persona. You can be yourselves. Maybe that’s the path to what you seek? Maybe that's why I’m here? Why we’re here.”

Naltra didn’t look so much the Zen master anymore. Her eyes, wide and quivering, looked more like a frightened little girl's. She told me, “There have been bad times. Too many bad times. Worlds like this. Others who have said that we should just open up and say everything. But it has not gone well. This is the world we care about most. So many Kinrae. So many possibilities. It's unlike any other we have known.”

I approached Naltra and put my arms around her comfortingly as I told her, and other Sean reiterated, “We are with you. We can’t promise that bad things won’t follow the truth, but the truth is where things need to start. Both of us would rather cease to exist than live in lies about ourselves anymore.” I stepped back to join Sean. Allison clutched her mouth at my words. I knew she desperately didn’t want us to vanish and was probably watching Naltra for some disintegrator ray. Lissa had that pensive look that classes she took outside her comfort zone often gave her. I could tell she had so many questions and so did Sean. And so did I.

But I knew deeply and clearly this was right and Sean stood with me in the same conviction. Carefully, I bowed my head and told Naltra, “And that’s all I have to say.”