Part 12 (cont.)

I jerked my head. Tessa sat on my bed with her legs crossed. Before she could say anything else, I announced, “They say the Kinrae can’t transport themselves inside of buildings because of dangers, the spin of the Earth, and other bullshit...apparently.” I could call for Allison and she could hand Tessa her ass with a frying pan.

Tessa lifted her head. Her eyes had a still, calm quality my mother’s never had as she responded, “We lie.”

I clenched my colorful fists and asked, “Why? What do you want?”

Her eyes lingered on me as she said, “We’re afraid. Sometimes with good cause. As for what we want, it’s as varied as what any group of your kind wants.”

I put a finger in her face. It seemed she was expecting that. She answered, “I want you to be at peace.”

I snapped, “Well, you fucked that up. Popping up and leaving me afraid and full of confusion and half-answers.”

She leaned back and said, “That was my intent.”

I shook my head with a glare as I parsed, “You want me at peace and war with myself at the same time? Is this a game to you? What is wrong with you?! Are you my mother? Are you actually that horrible scum jumping across universes just to hurt me one last fucking time?!”

She took a long breath before saying, “I’m sorry for how you feel now. But I also hope you’ll understand this isn’t a game. This is a process and it’s unfortunate you had to deal with such an intrusion by me, like this. If it was up to me then we’d never meet. But there’s nothing to be done about that now.”

I wanted to slap her. I wanted to scream at her but at the same time her passivity, for one quick instant, reminded me of how I faced my mother’s anger. I relaxed and her eyes met mine. With a deep breath, I said, “I don’t understand what you’re dancing around. And you didn’t answer about my mother. But I have one question above all for you…what is happening to Allison and why?”

She took a deep breath too and answered, “Some things I can’t answer. But about Allison, what’s happening is something beautiful. She sought to change herself. She made the choice.”

That sounded a little like what Allison had proposed to Malcolm, believing something. “So if I wanted to do it too then I’d be able to?”

Tessa rubbed her arms and noted, “Unlikely. But then it’s not my place to say what your fate will be. We are prepared though, if you want to make the choice.”

I clenched my jaw. I wasn’t sure how much of this I believed but there was a different sense about Tessa this time, if this really was Tessa, which had none of her playful, flippant nature of before.

I told her, “Okay. I choose to move back and forth between male and female like Allison. Maybe even between me and a Kinrae form.”

She held her hands out and told me, “Go for it.”

I flicked off the device. The delay followed, about the same, then I returned to my normal form. I stared at my hands. They were the same as always.

I looked at Tessa. She leaned against my wall and glanced up at my posters, noting, “You have so many of them. You must imagine being them, with all sorts of forms. But do you really want that, Sean? The answer is yes and no. And that’s the problem. You’re torn and you’re afraid.”

I snapped, “You don’t know me. Even if you’re some kind of alternate version of me, you are NOT me.” I hissed with restraint because I could hear footsteps around the door.

Tessa shrugged. “I leave you to decide who or what I am from what I’ve said and what you choose to believe. But your past is such a jagged scar throughout your entire being. I visited you in the park because I thought you might be ready to take a new step in your life, a painful step.”

I clenched my teeth, about ready to argue with her more. But I relaxed. She leaned forward a little. Maybe that was it. Some sort of test. If I got over all the things that bothered me then I might be ready for….something. I proposed this to Tessa, finishing it off, “So if I heal myself, then I can transform?”

She wore a tolerant look as she said, “You need to wake up to your own choice. And you need to remember that you are not alone. To say anything more would be harmful. I’ll be going now. I assume you have many more questions. Save them for your trip to our special place to the south. I can reassure you that we are not watching you. And I will offer one more thing…”

She gave a faint look of amusement more typical for her. I braced myself and asked her what that one more thing was.

She set a finger near her chin-line and said, “Well, it’s actually two things which are both a little inverted. First, everyone compares us to Japanese animation. I find that particularly amusing because it should be the other way around. Some of our earliest explorers settled and introduced art which resembled our forms.”

I tried not to get lightheaded. She gave a slight expression which looked apologetic as I asked her, “So you’re implying that there have been Kinrae on Earth before nine years ago…for much longer?”

She dipped her head and noted, “That is one way to interpret my words. Second, you mentioned the name ‘Kinrae’. I wasn’t there when the word first spread from us to the lexicon of this world. But I’ve always found it rather funny…the word ‘Kinrae’ is not a term for us. It’s what we call all of you. You are the Kinrae.”

I could tell she was inviting the obvious next question. Neither bit of information she gave me was beyond the speculations of countless people before me. Some thought the ‘Kinrae’ had always been around. And some also thought the name for them may have been an error in translation but it was an easy way to distinguish them from us.

Eventually, I posed that question and asked her, “So what is the word for you? What is the real name you all use for your kind?”

She bowed her head and told me, “That’s a question I’ll leave for a time when you’ll be able to answer it yourself. However, go ahead and continue to use the name for us, if you like. That’s a choice we wouldn’t want to intrude upon. Now…if you’ll excuse me…I want to apologize to Allison before I leave.”

I would’ve preferred if she just exited the way she came but I opened the door for her and followed her into the kitchen, where Allison still stood. She brought up her frying pan to hold between her and Tessa. She noticed me as Corlie and pouted as she said, “We could’ve had so much fun last night. Oh well…and you… What say you?”

Tessa bowed and offered an apology. Allison looked her over and remarked, “Don’t be a creepy stalker to my cutie!”

Again, Tessa sought forgiveness, elaborating, “I promise we will leave your cutie to whatever choice he makes.”

Allison leaned her head and asked, “What are his choices?” Allison bent forward. Tessa pondered a moment, glancing back to Allison’s harsh stare before saying, “He wouldn’t like it if I say because then I would limit his choices or possibly destroy them. His choices are as varied as the countless existences out there. It may seem like I’m at odds with both of you but I’m not. I want things to turn out for the best. It sucks I have to be a cryptic weirdo. I hope that by the end you won’t feel so poorly about me…” She looked back to me with a grimace.

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Tapping a finger on her lips, Allison smiled slightly as she said, “It’s okay. I just get one good clonk and we’re square.” She tapped her frying pan for emphasis as she balanced it on one finger.

Tessa gave a nervous look, then offered, “How about I tell you why you have such surprising strength and mass?” I widened my gaze. I’d noticed that about Allison.

Allison raised an eyebrow and replied, “You’d only know that from tracking us when we have the devices on….stalker…You mind if I guess before you tell me?”

Spreading out her hands, Tessa told her, “Go for it.”

Pacing, Allison scrubbed a dish or two at the same time.

“Well, my brothers…who I need to call and totally mess with to tell them they now have a…half-sister…have pushed me to be strong but I doubt that’s the whole thing. I’ve noticed it but it’s been fun. Like watching Sean try to romantically carry me to bed…and being able to impress him with what I can haul.”

Tessa and I listened as Allison mulled all that. I watched Tessa’s expression. I didn’t notice a reaction from her. When she was ready and the dishes were washed, Allison announced, “It’s also not because of the devices. Not entirely. Because I’ve kinda had it before but it’s been getting more pronounced, so that it seems like I’m a recently-traveled Kinrae. If that’s not just a complete myth…” She gave Tessa a look.

With a soft sigh, Tessa answered, “Believe me or don't, but the mass issue is indeed from travel between universes, as has been said.”

Allison took this into consideration. I had no clue where Clayton or Malcolm were but they didn’t seem to be around. Good, one less need to explain.

I could imagine Allison with a deerstalker hat on her head and a bubble pipe in her mouth as she sleuthed out the answer. She rubbed at her soft chin and then finally concluded by pointing her finger, proclaiming, “I have it!”

She announced, “It’s entirely simple when you use deduction. You see, if we can assume Kinrae change mass by traveling between universes, a process which may even amplify their strength…then we must assume I am somehow traveling between universes too. And the only way I can do that is in my mind through my dreams!”

I watched a genuine look of shock form on Tessa’s face. She blinked and said, “That’s essentially correct.”

Allison clapped her hands and said, “Yay! That’s a good kind of correct.”

I had to follow-up by asking, “Plenty of people have dreams about other universes though and I’ve never heard of shifting masses and strength.”

Tessa offered, “The number of dream crossings and other factors figure in to this kind of side-effect.” Allison gave her a look and Tessa added, “Allison is special. Her mind dwells in beautiful possibilities and I don’t just know that from observations.”

I reflected on Tessa’s implication that she was an alternate version of me who knew an alternate version of Allison. Allison put this very question into sharper words but Tessa sealed her lips, offering only, “I’ve said as much about that as I can, I’m afraid.” She turned to leave but Allison held her. They were fairly-matched in mass. Allison pouted and said, “You need to have some of my food…so I can lace it with truth serum!”

Her gaze softened. “Nothing would make me happier but I need to take a rain check. I have a busy remainder of the day.” Still, Allison threw a chocolate muffin at Tessa and she accepted it.

I walked Tessa to the front door. I hadn’t thought to check her hands for watermarks. I didn’t know if I cared anymore. This could be Tessa or it could be another ‘Kinrae’ or anyone filling her role. I didn’t bother asking her but I did ask, “So, what comes next?”

She folded her arms and told me, “Two things must come eventually. First, you must visit Naltra and what’s called Kinraetown to the south. I’ve told you that and you know it. If you choose not to go then things will take a different track with a different set of choices. Either way, it all leads to the Black Willow County Psychiatric Facility and the North Brookville Hospice.”

I took a breath and told her, point-blank, “Neither place is any business of yours.”

She nodded. “You’re right. They’re not. But they are your business and this is something you will have to deal with eventually. Your parents cast a shadow on your life. It is fading but the rest is up to you. Farewell and good luck.” I didn’t beg her to linger. I didn’t yell after her. I just took a breath as she slipped out of sight.

And I let Tessa go. She’d given me words but I had no idea if these new words meant anything to me. She’d suggested so much. She’d given a few things concretely but, as she said, it was up to me…so far as whether I trusted her sincerity.

I would go back inside and, once Malcolm and Clayton had left for the day, pass along to Allison the two big implications Tessa had left me with.

To anime girls hiding among us for longer than we thought, she said, “History Channel is going to need to make a new special.” I snickered.

For the other, she spent a long time pondering what their real name could be.

“Colorizers. Travelers. Watchers. Something with Japanese letters. Seans!...Because every single one of them is you from a future timeline! Even the ones who are me. Yeah, they’re all Lissa, QBC, me and you…But then we all are alternate versions of you who got shot into alternate universes like Superman but no exploding planet…Instead, an exploding universe. We are now tasked with tracking down all the other versions of ourselves and keeping them from blowing up their home universes from the power of their minds to rewrite reality. Oh yeah and actually…Everyone in this universe…We’re really the four versions of you altered by time and everything. Like that…zombies?...short story by that sci-fi writer I had to read for a class. That was a trip. But yeah…it’s all that…and one more eerie thing which…I dunno.”

I raised an eyebrow. Allison snickered and folded her arms on the table. I told her, “You just blew my mind, girl.”

She leaned closer and said, “Well, girlfriend, I can do even more than that, especially since we have the house all to ourselves till I have class and work…that’s if you don’t mind staying Corlie for a little longer.”

I gave her my answer as a warm, tender kiss on the lips.