----------------------------------------
Even though the weather is cold and there is snow, it is nice to go for a walk, so I ask if Gunhild is up for a longer detour heading back, via the ferry to check the road there which should be completely finished now, then via the Academy's main building and over the mountains and back home via the bay. Of course she is.
So we walk and make small talk about all sorts of things, like I often do with Alith but rarely with the other bodyguards. I realise that this is a new year, and if I remember correctly...
"Gunhild, wasn't your and Hillevi's service until the end of the year?"
"Yes. Actually, our service was completed before the wedding and Midwinter feast even though the year wasn't over yet, but there was so much focus on the wedding and other preparations, and we really didn't want to miss it or be a bother, so we were going to bring it up afterwards if Sir didn't, but we to forgot. Frankly, just the knifes Sir gave us means we already considered ourselves paid for at least another year, but we know Sir don't see it that way. To be honest, that our service was finished was one of the reasons I used the Stag Night. Legally we haven't been Lord and Shieldmaiden since. Having sex with my Lord just feels so wrong on principle, as if sex is part of my service as a Shieldmaiden."
"I completely understand and respect that." Alith may not agree with that view, but Gunhild's view seems to be the norm for shieldmaidens, and Alith see it as she temporarily leaves my service when we sometimes are just friends or have sex.
"We really didn't mind to continued working as Sir's shieldmaidens. But if Sir want, take it as a small gift for Sir's marriage and because of the enormous gifts we been given. Also, this guard duty is so terribly easy and a pleasant life, and none of the Ladies treat us like guards are usually treated. I'm very happy that I followed Lady Kari to Sir's service and considers it the best choice of my life. Frankly, my Lord deserves and need to be guarded for Alfheimr's future, and I suggest Sir have more guards. My Lord is too important, and as my Lord say: Shit happens."
Yeah, I know I need more. It just feels wrong to pay some random person, although that was pretty much how Alith and Bodil became my bodyguards.
"I appreciate that you continued to work, but it feels nice to be able to enjoy a walk with a friend instead of a Shieldmaiden and discuss things freely between two free friends. My name is Robert, and you're free to use it."
"Thank you, Robert."
I like seeing Gunhild's smile. I don't really know how to bring it up, but best to just do it even if it's embarrassing.
"I hope you doesn't mind a strange question and you don't have to answer, but frankly I have no one to really ask, so why not you who has lived in this world longer than they others and see more."
"Go ahead."
"Why does so many young women see me so desirable for sex? I don't mean as a long-term partner or marriage, but just sex, and maybe just once. Why isn't Hrappr or Hagan more attractive if it's just sex? After all, they are younger, have more muscles, look good and have long hair."
Gunhild really didn't exactly expect the question, but at least she takes the time to seriously contemplate the answer before she says something, which I appreciate, because I want to know.
"Of course I can't say how much my answer applies for everyone, but going by what I know, and heard other say or questions, I'd say you're simply desirable and attractive on different scales. Hrappr and Hagan are the younger men who does have muscle, body shape and doesn't look bad on their side, plus are somewhat charming, but that is pretty much it for them. You are not fat or unattractive, and if I might say so, good looking and looks healthy. You really fulfil that image of a older wiser worldly man without being seen as an old fatherly figure. Those who know your real age find you even more attractive because you look younger than you are, which Jane agrees with, so the Gods have clearly blessed you even in that way. Men like Hagan or Hrappr usually try to show off their manliness, skills and long hair and such, while you, who have more hair than anyone we heard of, cut it off and just don't care about trying to show off. You don't try to impress women or men, and that is attractive for some women, especially as you're undoubtedly manly enough to keep so many young women happy both in and out of bed. Then there is how special you are, since you're also basically a King, and the only known Sejdmann, and now add the duel, where you utterly annihilated that fool who didn't heed your words and accepted the peaceful solution, which is both manly and proves your power and protectiveness, which many women finds very attractive. All this, yet you are still genuinely nice to all women regardless of their status, which is extra attractive to those of low status, because they feel more special, and it is clear that you're not pretending to be nice. In conclusion, there are many Hrappr and Hagan here in this world and women see them daily, but Robert Arnesson is unique and you literally have your own growing Saga! I can just imagine how awesome that Saga will be in a few years."
Okay, yeah, I get what she mean, I just haven't considered it in that way. I just have to remember to never take women or my wives and girlfriends for granted.
"Having said that, I'll admit that it has sometimes been difficult to be you guard, both emotionally and sexually compared to, when for example, we were guarding Kari. To hear, smell and know, and living with that every day, and seeing how satisfied and happy the women are the morning after, or when they know it's their turn or moment. After the Stag Night I understand that even better, even if our moment that night wasn't particularly intimate or special."
"I apologise for that. And not being a special moment."
"It's nothing to apologise for, and you shouldn't change because of us or the staff. Several of the servants clearly have similar issues and are extra jealous of Iselin and Caecilia. Bodil seems the least bothered, and Bodil clearly looks only at men, and never women. We've also noticed that you seem to look forward to each woman's individual company, even when it isn't sex, and from what I've seen and heard, you seem to like just holding them, sitting on a couch and talking, etc. Them as persons and not just the sex."
"I do. How could I not?"
"There have been no signs of boring everyday life, where a man and woman go to bed and say good night to each other after a long day at work, and then just sleep or mechanically have sex. No matter who the woman is, her status, age or background, you seem to appreciate them for the people they are, and you wash and shower more than anyone else, just because you don't want to be sweaty or smelly for any one of them. You sit and try to talk to Elvira, Ida or Shakini in the same way as you do Liv, Unn, Jarl Skiringe, Queen Haera or King Aeriksson and behave equally politely towards everyone. It's amusing, but you should know, how noticeable it is when you deliberately avoid trying to sit and talk like that with some who seem interested in marriage or similar, like Princess Sefa."
Crap. Well, it's good to know. "Thank you for telling me."
Gunhild tells me how worried she was when they were forced to leave Kari alone on the farm, as she didn't know what I was really like and had only heard my reputation, and how she sees Kari as a little sister. About how shocked Hillevi was after she sought Kari out and talked to Kari that day in the harbour, and I find out some of what Kari told Hillevi, which she also reluctantly passed on to Asbjörn when he asked. Jörmundgandr! Ha! In any case, that confirms there was stuff happening behind the scenes where Kari tried to do her best for our side and her own future.
If you stumble upon this tale on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it.
As Gunhild continues to talk, I'm grateful that I live quite isolated on an island and don't live in or close to Borgarsandr full time and go to all the feasts that are held, or just somewhere on the way to Borgarsandr, like at the R-mansion where people pass by, and where I should then offer overnight accommodation etc. Then I would have been far more accessible and life would have been far more annoying, as well as so many more opportunity for misunderstandings or duels, as some men would try to prove their manliness against mine, so that they themselves would rise in reputation and status. Gunhild is amused how many people have been curious and discretely asking her and the other guards when they are in Borgarsandr etc, and shieldmaiden colleagues have been extra curious about what her life and service are really like.
I need to be more grateful to Kari for giving them instructions, which she has rehearsed with them, for how to answer various questions and steer away feelings about alliances via marriage or concubines, feast invitations and more, especially from higher status widows with daughters and-or ambitions.
I should have expected Jane to have talked to Caecilia and Gunhild when they been doing music, writing sheet music, practising Krav Maga, etc. So the guards have been told about Casanova and apparently Jane owned a modern version of his memoirs, and they've sat and fantasized about what their lives would have been like if I'd travelled around on my ship, from town to town, selling what I made, going to feasts and charming women and had more sex, made friends and enemies and ended up in adventures and duels. Gunhild definitely prefers that I'm not that kind of person as it both makes my life so much safer, and they can relax more. All want me to live long and well, doing whatever I want, since it's likely to improve this world one way or another. My life is absolutely interesting enough for them, and they appreciate that I am easier to keep safe here on the island. Gunhild really likes this job. Even when it's boring here, it's still far better than normal guard duty elsewhere, and often way more interesting.
Gunhild wants to remain working for me, and she knows that Hillevi thinks the same way, so we have to agree on a new contract, and I will let Iselin participate in the decision because she is my wife. However, Gunhild smilingly suggest that any agreement with Hillevi can wait a couple of days, because Hillevi could really need to 'relieve some frustration'. It's gotten much worse since the Stag Night. Gunhild is so amused that Hillevi who is usually the more forward of them just couldn't take the opportunity - especially not in front of other women or servants - but Gunhild dismissively says that Hillevi is still a young adult and hasn't learned to cease the opportunity, which makes me laugh too. I understand Hillevi's dislike of audiences.
Gunhild say she would like to stay in my service for the rest of her life, and she hopes that I can have many healthy children with my partners and she hopes to help when the children grow up, both as a guard, a nanny and training them in weapons. It's depressing and hurts when Gunhild talks about her own feelings about the future, and her life. She laments that she is old and only getting older. She had hoped to be married many years ago and to now live on a farm with her husband and her children. It has always been her dream just like most other women.
She has achieved her goal of becoming a famous shieldmaiden; she has worked for the King for many years, and now for me. But it has not led to a family. No children. But it is far from all men and women who can create their own families, or can afford their own farm, servants and slaves. Gunhild is the youngest daughter and her two older married brothers already have families and children of their own. They live in the south, on the other side of the big ridge, which sounds like northwestern Scania. Her older sister has her own husband, a son and a little daughter and works on a farm north of the ridge and a few days in from the coast. Her parents died many years ago.
Gunhild's brothers stopped marriages when there were interested suitors who appealed to her, but suitors stopped coming a few years ago, and she doesn't like the idea of her brothers splitting her bride price - they're not worth it! Gunhild only has her reputation and some gold saved up, but no land and is old, and it was a long time ago since she was 'untouched'. Hard to find a man who wants her and who she wants, when there are better younger women, such as my other bodyguards. So her new dream is to continue her service here, and it's a very nice dream she's looking forward to.
I tell Gunhild that 28 years isn't old at all, but realise that here it actually is. I think the average life expectancy is 40-45 years or so for women, and that's in peacetime. Even if she found a husband and got married this year, there's a pretty good chance that Gunhild wouldn't see her children marry, or see grandchildren. It makes me feel very old!
Gunhild wonders when it is common to form a family in Midgård and life expectancy, which is a hell of a question! I can just honestly say it varies enormously, since our lives are so different and medical science makes a huge difference. Many of the worst places are more like here, while others like where Jane and I come from the life expectancy is 80-90 years, and if I had continued to live in Midgård with its healing knowledge and medicines, I could probably count on living 100 years or more. Medicine is making such progress that many believe the first 200-year-old has already been born, and it is very possible Midgård will find an anti-aging drug during that time scale. It may honestly only be 10-20 years away, but it is incredibly difficult, and probably far longer.
Most humans wait to have children until we're closer to 35 years old, and being single and childless at my age raise no eyebrows. Most people work until they are 65-70 years old, and then enjoy their retirement. Gunhild has seen the paintings of my parents and I tell her that both are alive and around that age. Gunhild has a hard time understanding that, since they don't look that old! It's fun to tell her that on a recent trip, my mother hiked up mountains in 3 hours and back down the next morning, about 15 times higher than the mountains on this island. As I continue talking, Gunhild is just shocked, especially since it was done in just three hours and over rough terrain by a woman more than twice her age who doesn't usually do such things. I promise to show pictures from the hike.
When Gunhild truly understands that I am very well aware that I would probably live three to four times longer in Midgård than the 15-30 years I can hope for here, she doesn't know what to say. It is as it is, and now she knows why I am careful about hygiene, and make sure that the water is clean and healthy, and that the air does not have a lot of soot from fireplaces and that we eat a variety of nutritious food, exercise and so on. It makes you live longer and stay healthier.
Gunhild doesn't understand how a bit of smoke from a fire can shorten your life.
"Gunhild, there have been extensive studies in Midgård, over generations, that show that those who live in cities, for example, live a few years shorter on average, just because of the air they breathe, and the normal smoke from fireplaces in longhouses without good ventilation is worse. It's so important what we breathe in, and there are many horrible insidious diseases that take time to develop. Fine rock dust can lead to something called silicosis, because you breathe in the fine rock dust deep into the lungs, and the body can't get rid of that. Coughing just doesn't get rid of all the deeper finer particles, so little by little the lungs are scarred, and the scar tissue don't work. The lungs get worse and worse. Soot is a very very fine powder, so the same applies to coal dust and soot. The fine black dust that forms on anything exposed to the smoke or top of the flame such as the top of the oil lamps, is carbon. The actual flame in a fire is carbon particles and other things that glow due to their high temperature.
None of these diseases can be cured, even for Midgård medicine, which is an awful lot more advanced than here in Alfheimr, and many places in Midgård have strict rules about work environments to protect the workers. Midgård have many laws that deal with a worker's rights, protection and safety. The safety harnesses, roof working platforms, and similar stuff I made for safer work here would not have been legal in Midgård, because they have to be made by accredited craftsmen and installed properly. For example, I can make a ladder and use it by myself, but for workers I have to buy an approved ladder from an approved craftsman. In many cases, Midgård avoid ladders and have work platforms or mobile lifts precisely because there is a greater chance of an accident with a ladder, especially a tall ladder. You don't need to fall far to have bad injury or death. Workers injury or deaths are very serious business where I come from in Midgård. Unfortunately, in a lot of other places and a large part of that world, lives are cheap and there isn't even close to the same laws, or abidance to laws that exist."
It sounds very strange and very complicated for Gunhild, but just this information about how to stay healthier and that I prioritise that for all of them, increase Gunhild's desire to continue working here. Maybe she might be able to climb mountains when she is 50 or even 60 years old! Gunhild suddenly feels younger and her future is a little brighter, even though it is sad that she seems to have given up on her dream of her own family. I lighten the mood a bit more when we pass the shooting range and tell her that as soon as it's a nice day, we'll have some shooting tests with the new weapons. Of course they should work in this weather, but it's not nice to be out in it for a long time, especially handling metal, and I don't want the weapons to rust. We have treated them with linseed oil, but steel is steel and moisture causes rust.
----------------------------------------