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Chapter 84

“Why are you fiddling with your hands instead of eating?” Jaspar asked her. “Aren’t you hungry?”

“Only a little,” she admitted, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. “I am more nervous than anything.”

“Don’t be nervous,” Melissa said from her right. “You contributed a lot to the war effort. No one is going to hold how it all played out against you.”

Maude bit her lip. She didn’t believe Melissa at all.

The royal family was seated at the front of the room, and they began to feast as the last few stragglers to the banquet filed in. More and more people were grabbing food and sitting, including Baron Wright, who sat on the other side of Melissa. “Why are we sitting here?” he asked her.

“Daddy,” Melissa said. “Shush.” Maude looked over at him and he looked surprised by Melissa’s response. Maude caught his eye and nodded at him tightly in acknowledgement.

As the majority of the people sat down, and the banquet hall was quieting down, the king stood up at the front of the room and smiled broadly. “Thank you all for coming today to celebrate the end of the war with us.” The room quieted even further as King Johan addressed everyone. “Thank you all for the effort you, and others not with us today, have put forth to win Aulbert the war. We would not be here today without all of your efforts. It is because of you that the kingdom of Aulbert still exists today.” He looked pointedly around the room. “Others were not so lucky in our efforts to maintain independence. Let us have a moment of silence for those who made the ultimate sacrifice for Aulbert in hopes that their loved ones may have the opportunity to live in a peaceful, prosperous country. May this moment of silence help aid us in the memory of their loved ones who now suffer without them, and hope that those who made the ultimate sacrifice may find peace in the acknowledgment that we will not forget them or their efforts so that we might have gathered here today.”

As soon as King Johan stopped talking, the room fell completely silent. Not even a fork was moved.

Maude thought of Jakob, and how nervous Helena had been to start a relationship with him in the middle of a war. Her concerns ended up coming true, Maude thought. But King Johan is right that Jakob made his sacrifice in hopes that Helena might be able to live in a free country.

Maude felt tears prick her eyes and she swallowed hard. How many others had felt exactly like Jakob?

“Thank you very much for your time,” the king said with a sad smile, and a small nod. “Additionally, although not conventional, we know that there were many troops of the empire who perhaps did not want to fight in the war, but were forced to, nonetheless. Though we had no choice but to end their lives to defend ourselves, we should honor the sacrifice of the empire’s soldiers who did not deserve to die, but did by our hands. A moment of silence for these folks, please.”

Maude felt her heart skip a beat. No one seemed to be violating the silence that the king asked for, though it was unconventional to honor the enemy’s fallen comrades. She couldn’t help but feel sparks of pride seeing her new countrymen honor those who had been their enemy.

This would have never happened in the empire if they had won, she thought. Not only were these people possibly slaves who were fighting for the empire, but they had also been deceived by the emperor. Aulbert would have gladly traded wood that the empire needed, but the emperor wanted more territory.

She also thought back to her own situation, and how she basically had been coerced to fight in the war. Thinking that there had been others like her, who had been forced to fight, even not as sword saints, made her heart incredibly heavy. The only difference between those people and myself is that I found a way out of the fight. I wonder if the emperor even forced some of the slaves to fight for him. Maude could feel her blood boiling even though the emperor was long since expired. What a bastard, she thought. He forced them to live a miserable existence in their everyday life, and then made sure they met a miserable end as well He truly broke those people in every way he could.

She thought back to the men of the battalion she was supposed to have led for the empire. All of the men had been young and joyful, full of life, enthusiasm, and hope. The whole goal of that empire battalion was to be a sacrifice, Maude thought. To rally the empire’s troops against Aulbert. The emperor knew what he was doing when he sent us out to fight Jaspar’s unit. He new he sent all of those bright young men to die.

She remembered, to the best of her ability, some of their faces. Some of the stories she had been told by them. She remembered their cooking, and the smiles they had shared with her.

I am sorry, she thought. She felt a lead weight settling into her stomach. If I had done what was asked of me, they all may have lived, she thought. But I would have been unhappy. I would have continued to be a slave to my father and the emperor. I would have never met and fallen in love with Jaspar. I would have never gotten to know any of the wonderful people I’ve met in Aulbert. And Aulbert would have been destroyed.

Still, the lead weight stayed in her stomach. She swallowed hard. Perhaps only time and penance for my actions will be enough to absolve me of the part I played in their untimely demises, she thought.

Thank you for your sacrifices, she added. I hope that you can find peace and happiness in the afterlife.

“Thank you very much for respecting the wishes of this sentimental king,” King Johan said. Maude’s head snapped up to pay attention, and she noticed that he was wearing a different type of sad smile. “It is never easy to honor those who may have harmed you, but it was important to remember that their lives mattered to someone as well.” The king paused again and nodded. Then he clapped his hands together. “But enough of that. There will be much more time in the future to honor our fallen comrades. Today is also meant to be a day of celebration of our success.” He was grinning widely now.

Maude took a deep breath, trying to release some of the heaviness she felt in her chest from King Johan’s words. He’s just keeping things light on such a heavy topic, she thought. I’m sure I’m not the only person in the room who feels as I do.

“Are you okay, Maude?” Jaspar murmured into her ear.

She breathed heavily, her shoulders moving with the breath, and she nodded. “I’m alright,” she replied, softly. “It is just hard to think that there might have been others who lost their lives and were forced into the war for the empire like I was.”

She met his blue eyes. They looked solemn, He nodded at her. “I’m sure there are some other lucky ones who made it out like you did, too,” he murmured softly to her.

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She nodded back and turned her attention back onto king Johan.

“All of the participants of the war will receive funds from the government of Aulbert for their efforts. Since we suspect there may be a food shortage this winter, we are planning to prioritize food sources to those who participated in the war. Those who have families who lost their lives due to the conflict, the families will also receive funds and food. Additionally, we the government of Aulbert will do everything in our power to support these families and help them get their feet back underneath them.”

Maude felt her heart sparkling with pride again for Aubert. The empire had unfairly compensated people who had participated in the wars before. It had never been enough to make up for the losses that the citizens had incurred. It’s a wonder that the people never rebelled against the emperor, she thought.

“Furthermore, we know that there were many people who contributed to the war’s success more than others. I will be rewarding these elite people with noble titles, as they have upheld the values that Aulbert nobles ought to have; steadfastness, loyalty, and putting everything on the line for their country when their countrymen needed them.”

Maude felt Melissa’s elbow jab her in the ribs. Melissa looked far more excited about the possibility of Maude receiving a title, than she, herself, felt. It was also difficult to ignore the sinking feeling that came with the king’s mention of the word “loyalty.” If there was anything Maude hadn’t been, it was loyal

Maude did her best to smile at Melissa, but she suspected that it came out more like a wince. Melissa gave her a dirty look and shook her head.

“Melissa Wright,” the king called at the front of the room. Maude felt her eyes widen and turned to look at Melissa, who’s jaw had dropped open. “Please come to the stage,” the king added, looking over in the direction of their table.

Melissa snapped her mouth shut, and stood up out of her chair. She carefully strode over to the front of the room.

“Please kneel,” the king commanded her. She kneeled in front of him, and he unsheathed a sword from his hip. Maude noticed that the handle glittered blue, and she couldn’t help but wonder if the king had gotten the sword from the same blacksmith that Jaspar had gotten hers from.

He tapped the blade on Melissa’s left shoulder. “By the power invested in me, I grant you the title of Baroness Melissa Wrighton,” the king moved the blade over to Melissa’s right shoulder. “May the deeds you performed in Aulbert forever be remembered.”

Though Maude was not all that close to the stage, she could see that Melissa was shaking a little. How incredible it must be to have her contributions recognized in this manner, Maude thought. People began to clap, and Maude joyously joined in. If it was anyone who deserved a title from the war, she thought, it was most certainly Melissa.

The king took the blade off of Melissa’s shoulder and nodded at her. “You may return to your seat, Baroness Wrighton,” the king said.

Melissa nodded and got up, and strode back over to the seat next to Maude. As her friend was sitting back down, Maude looked up and saw tears in Melissa’s eyes.

She didn’t expect to get a title at all, Maude thought, trying to hold back a smile. I’m so glad her contributions were acknowledged… Maude thought back to all of the times that Melissa had complained about how her contribution to the war was never acknowledged. And now they have been, Maude thought, her heart glowing in her chest.

“Congratulations,” Maude murmured softly to her friend, as the king said another, unfamiliar name.

“Thank you,” Melissa replied with a sniffle. “I had no idea that I was going to receive a title today,” she added.

“It was incredibly well deserved, though,” Maude replied.

“Thank you,” Melissa murmured again, even softer this time. Maude studied Melissa’s face closely, and noticed that Melissa’s cheeks were glowing red.

I hope she’s proud of her effort, Maude thought. Aulbert would have most certainly lost the war without her helping with the strategy. In that way, she helped more than I did.

“I’m sure you’re on this list too, if I am,” Melissa said as the king moved on to the third person.

Maude let out a small chuckle. “You contributed far more than I did,” she replied.

“We would have lost the war without you,” Melissa shot back.

Maude shook her head even though Melissa’s words lit sparks of hope inside. “Loyalty?” Maude asked. “I waited until the last second to put in any effort.”

“Any physical effort,” Melissa corrected her. “You provided intel and assisted with strategy throughout the war.”

Maude rubbed the back of her neck. “Anyone could have done those things,” she replied.

“Don’t lie to yourself,” Melissa shot back. “Do you know how many of the people who sacrificed their lives would have preferred to assist with strategy if they had been capable? Not everyone can do those types of tasks.”

Maude’s heart skipped a beat. “I didn’t mean to disparage them,” Maude said.

“I didn’t take it that way,” Melissa replied, dismissing Maude with a wave of her hand.

“She’s just saying that you lack insight into your true capabilities,” Jaspar murmured softly on her other side.

Maude felt her face flush, but didn’t know how to respond. She focused her attention back on King Johan, ignoring Jaspar’s comment.

More and more people were given titles, and Maude felt her heart and stomach tightening and sinking. Without a title it will be exceptionally difficult to get married to Jaspar, she thought. I never considered a future where I would fight in the war, Aulbert would win, and I still wouldn’t be able to be with him.

The king sheathed his sword and smiled at the crowd.

Maude’s eyes stung. It’s over, she thought. I was too late to the battle, and it cost me everything. If only I had realized sooner. If only Celerity had been a faster horse.

Melissa’s hand found Maude’s and tightened around it. “I’m sure it ’s still coming,” she whispered to Maude. Maude nodded in acknowledgement, but didn’t believe Melissa’s words at all.

“Thank you all so much for your assistance throughout the entirety of this past year,” the king said. “And now I would like to acknowledge one very special individual who sided with Aulbert in all things, including the final battle,” he said.

Melissa’s hand squeezed Maude’s tighter, as if to say, this is it!

He’s only acknowledging my contribution to the war, Maude thought. I’m not about to receive a title.

“Though she was once our enemy, she joined hands with us Aulbertians, and even helped us in our final hour of need; assisting in the elimination of some of the key players in the empire. Without this young woman, Aulbert would have truly been lost, and we would have never understood anything about our opponent. Maude Holloway, please come to the stage.”

Maude’s heart pace picked up as she stood up in her chair and then trudged her way up to the stage.

“Please kneel,” King Johan said.

Maude complied. He will probably only knight me, Maude thought. He already completed all of the other titles.

She felt the blade on her left shoulder. “By the power invested in me,” King Johan said. “I grant you the title of Viscountess Maude Holloway.”

Maude’s heart nearly dropped, and it took all of her concentration for her mouth not to fall open. He had granted her a higher title than anyone else he had given a title to.

She felt the blade on her right shoulder. “May the deeds you performed in Aulbert forever be remembered. Without you, surely more people of this great country would have perished.”

Maude swallowed hard at his words, still not feeling them ring true all the way to her core. But acknowledging that if the king said so, it very well could be true.

King Johan took the blade off of Maude’s shoulder. She looked up at his face, and she saw that he was smiling brightly at her, and tears were staining his cheeks. “I am forever indebted to you saving my son and Duke Rosenberg,” he softly murmured. “Your participation changed the course of Aulbertian history.”

The knot that had found its way into her throat from seeing the king so emotional had tipped the scales, and she felt tears of her own spring to her eyes.

“Please return to your seat, Viscountess Holloway,” the king said loudly for everyone to hear.

Maude nodded and rose, walking carefully back to her chair, barely able to see through the tears clouding her vision. Claps and cheers began, and she looked over and noticed that her fellow countrymen had jumped to their feet to cheer for her. Despite the tears staining her face, her heart felt light again.

I have finally found somewhere I belong, Maude thought. I’m finally home.