Maude followed Baron Wright out of the king’s strategy room. She wasn’t but several yards out of the room when she heard his voice, “Wait!” Jaspar called out behind her. “Lady Maude!” she paused her steps, and turned to look over her shoulder, only to see him half jogging after her. She felt her eyes widen. She turned away from him. Should I actually wait for him? She thought. I don’t really know what to say to him…

She had hesitated too long, and Jaspar’s hand gently plopped on her shoulder. Shit, she thought. I’m not ready to have this conversation.

“Would you like to take a carriage home together?” he asked in his warm timbre. “I’d like to talk to you if that’s alright.”

Maude still wasn’t facing him, and she let herself openly grimace. I don’t even know what I should say to him at this point. Do I owe him an apology? Vice versa?

“What do you think?” he asked, clearly trying to keep her there with him.

She turned and looked at him, meeting his blue eyes. She noticed a hint of desperation in them. Is he going to ask me to fight for Aulbert again? She wondered.

She nodded at him. “I suppose I can do that.”

I might as well see what he has to say, she thought. The worst he could do is end it sooner rather than later.

Jaspar’s face lit up at her words. He held out an arm for her, and she interlocked her own. They continued on their way towards the entrance of the palace. “I was very impressed with your suggestions in the strategy meeting,” he said.

“Why thank you, your grace,” she replied, looking at him with a soft smile.

“Where did you come up with the ideas?” he asked.

“I spent quite a bit of time reading war strategy books recently, your grace,” Maude said. “One of the things I more recently learned about was defensive maneuvers. I thought it was very interesting since there’s not really anything like it with sword fighting.” She turned away from him, watching as they got even closer to the palace’s entrance.

“Why did you decide to read war strategy?” Jaspar asked.

They walked through the door’s entrance. “Why else, your grace?” she asked. “You act as though it was never my prerogative to help Aulbert in any way. I was looking for a solution that would allow me to help Aulbert without having to get directly involved with the fighting.”

He paused in their walking. “That was your goal all along?” he asked.

“Of course,” Maude replied with a small smile. “I told you that I was going to do what I could to find a way to make things work with you,” she said.

He smiled widely back at her and they continued their walk to the carriages that were sitting, waiting in front of the palace.

“Hello!” Jaspar said as they approached the carriage that Maude had come in. “Lady Maude will be riding back to the Rosenberg manor in the carriage I came in, so you can go ahead and head back now,” he said to the coachman.

The coachman nodded at Jaspar and tipped his hat. “Will do, your grace,” he said. He immediately started maneuvering the carriage away from the palace. Maude felt her stomach twist around.

There’s no getting out of this carriage ride with Jaspar now, she thought. Hopefully it doesn’t turn into another fight that leaves us feeling awkward.

Jaspar started escorting her to the other Rosenberg carriage. He opened the door for her, helped her get in, climbed in behind her and shut the door.

The carriage started moving forward, and Maude looked over at Jaspar. He was looking back at her. “I’m surprised you came to the strategy meeting,” he said. “I figured you wouldn’t want any part of this.”

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Maude smiled awkwardly. “As I said before, it is truly only the fighting that I take issue with,” she said. “It’s really not the same if other people carry out my suggestions, so long as it’s not me doing it.”

Jaspar nodded. “I guess that makes sense…,” he said, looking a bit puzzled.

The carriage fell into an awkward silence. Maude stared out the window, not really sure what to do or say. Do I apologize first? She wondered again. But what would I even apologize for? Being honest about myself? Being true to myself?

“I’m sorry,” Jaspar finally said. Maude looked over at him, and he was looking a bit tearful. “I’m sorry about our fight,” he continued, reiterating himself. “I took things too far. I shouldn’t have tried to pressure you to do something you don’t want to do,” he said. “I’m honestly just…desperate,” he stated. “Things are not looking good for Aulbert. And as a result, my life could be in danger. The thought of losing you on top of all that was just more than I could handle.” He had a couple of tears that had snuck out from the corners of his eyes, and were falling down his face. “I know I said that I started trying to pull you into the world of Aulbert in hopes of convincing you to fight for us, but my feelings for you are truly genuine,” he emphasized.

Maude looked down at the carriage floor. “I’m sorry that I’m so unwilling to compromise,” she said. “You probably could have found a much easier to deal with woman, than me.”

“But I did also say that you if you couldn’t make the request from the king happen, that we would find a way to make things work,” Jaspar pointed out to her. “So I think it’s fair that you continued to hold steadfast to your beliefs.” He smiled awkwardly.

“That’s true,” Maude said. “You did say that. But it was really my values that made me say that I don’t want to fight. It really didn’t have anything to do with you.”

He nodded. “I know that,” he said. “I was just hoping that you might change your mind after hearing how desperate of a situation Aulbert is in. I didn’t ask you to fight because I want you to go against your values, I asked if you’d be willing because there’s no other way to make our relationship happen whether you follow the king’s commands or not. If Aulbert loses the war, I am guaranteed to lose my life along with most of the rest of Aulbert’s nobles.” He swallowed hard. “The emperor will not let me live, even as a slave. All I can really guarantee for you at this point is a chance to escape before the empire’s troops have arrived.”

There had been a knot growing in Maude’s throat ever since Jaspar had started talking, but his words about her escaping caused her emotions to finally overflow. Her face became damp, and she said, “Is there really no way I could convince you to come with me?”

She knew his answer was going to be no. She knew that the man she’d fallen in love with was bound by his integrity, duty, and love of his people. They were all reasons she had fallen for him in the first place, but for the sake of their relationship, she wished that he would forsake his values.

We’re both so selfish, Maude thought. We both are hoping that the other will compromise who they are so that we can be together.

The small smile that Jaspar wore on his face looked forlorn. “Just as you can’t fight, you know I can’t give up on my people,” he said. His words only caused her to cry harder. “Aulbert will only collapse faster without me,” he continued. “I’m one of the strongest fighters in this country, and I definitely count my blessings that I haven’t been called away to fight too many battles thus far. But I cannot leave behind a bunch of innocent people to become enslaved or killed by the empire. It would not sit well with me.”

Maude felt like her heart was slowly shattering into a thousand pieces. Why did we start this relationship if it was always going to have an expiration date? She asked herself. She thought back to Jaspar’s hesitance to even tell her his feelings. I started this relationship without thinking of the consequences, she thought. In that sense, this situation is more my fault than Jaspar’s. And if I escape and he dies, I will be the one to suffer the most, for the rest of my life, without him. I am the most selfish of the two of us.

“All we can really do at this point is make the most of the time we have left together,” Jaspar said. His cheeks were also quite damp. Maude couldn’t speak due to the sobs that were working their way though her. “And we can work together to see if we can find a way to win this war with the empire.” He pursed his lips. “Even if it’s you in the strategy room and me on the front lines.” He breathed heavily from his own tears. “You know I’ll do everything in my power to come back to you, Maude.”

She nodded in response, still unable to speak. It felt as though her whole being had been pierced with a sword. I can’t even imagine my life without this man, she thought. How can I possibly live out the rest of my years without him in my life? Does he not realize how much he means to me? How much he has changed my world?

He came to her side of the carriage and started gently rubbing her back. I’m being comforted by the man I’m courting who might as well be as good as dead, she thought. I should be the one comforting him!

Jaspar gently lifted her face up to his so he could look her in the eyes. He wiped some of the liquid away from her eyes. “I love you, Maude,” he said.

“I love you, too,” she replied.

His lips found their way to hers and they kissed. The kiss tasted bittersweet and salty.

So this will be how it ends, Maude thought.