“That particular night we were very close to the border of Aulbert. And I overheard a couple of gentlemen saying that it was probably good that you had died in battle, since that meant you’d be able to avoid the emperor.” He swallowed hard, looking as though there was a bitter taste in his mouth. “I’m not proud of this next part, but we very nearly had a brawl, myself and those men, when I heard those words. One of them was a former servant of the Holloway manor, and he told me your father had promised to make you the emperor’s concubine long ago.” Silas sighed. “I had always thought it odd that our families have been discussing our marriage for so many years without receiving a true commitment from your father, but suddenly, everything made sense.”

Maude pursed her lips together and nodded at him. He was right. Their marriage would have never come to fruition from how long her father had been planning to hand her over for.

“After that, I decided I could not fight for a country where the emperor will trade people for power.”

“But what about your family and your title?” Maude asked.

“What good are those things if I can’t have my best friend at my side?” he replied. His eyes glowed with tender emotions.

“Did you come to Aulbert just for me then?” she asked.

“Indeed. I was hoping you may be interested in running away with me.”

“Running away with you?” she asked.

“Getting away from both of these countries at war. Go to a place where no one knows who we are. Live a simple life, build our house together, grow our food together, and maybe even have a child or two,” he said. He bit his lip. Maude could tell that it had taken him a lot to say those words.

She swallowed hard, disappointed in herself that she hadn’t seen this coming. “So long as the emperor lives, such a place will be in jeopardy,” she said. “The empire has been swallowing kingdoms whole for over a decade now.”

“We can always get on a boat, and go to a place where the empire can’t reach us,” he suggested.

Maude could visualize it, riding a boat into the sunset with Silas, never to come back to the continent ever again. They could fell the trees for logs for a cabin they would build together, laughing and smiling. They could fish together, farm together, and have a happy life. It was like an upgraded version of what she, herself, had envisioned doing while she had been trying to escape the Rosenberg manor. It would be a calm, peaceful life, away from all the chaos. Truly, an idyllic life for a sword saint who had never wanted their ability and had never wanted to kill people.

But it would be with Silas, not Jaspar.

Jaspar was not the type of person who would shirk his duties, he wasn’t about to ride off into the sunset, never to see Aulbert again. He had a duty to the people in his territory and his family. Jaspar wanted to stay with Aulbert until the bitter end of the war; which meant if Maude stayed, she could still end up in the hands of the emperor.

The most logical choice to stay safe from her father and the emperor was to leave with Silas.

But when Jaspar came into the picture, that logic couldn’t match up with the emotions that she felt in her heart.

Though her life would be quiet with very little conflict, she knew she would always wonder about Jaspar and Aulbert. How was he doing on any given morning? Did he make it out of the war alive? Had he ended up marrying Fronica Von Wickten after all?

And then, there would be her regret. It wasn’t as though she didn’t think she would be able to come to love Silas. But she knew she would always regret not seeing her relationship with Jaspar through. She knew she would always regret leaving him.

Unauthorized duplication: this tale has been taken without consent. Report sightings.

“I can’t do that,” she murmured softly. Jaspar’s earnest face appeared in her mind, asking for her to come back to him.

Going with Silas would be the path of least resistance, she thought. But I know I’d always regret it.

Silas’s face looked desperate. “Why?” he asked her, his eyes pleading. “You could be in danger if you stay!”

“I could be,” Maude replied. “But that doesn’t mean I will be.”

“It’s become a war of attrition now,” Silas said. “It’s only a matter of time before Aulbert loses. The empire has more troops.”

Maude shook her head. “I’m sure we will find a way to win,” she insisted.

Silas just shook his head in response.

“I can’t start over again,” Maude added. “I’m really only just getting established in Aulbert. There are people I care about here.” Helena’s, Melissa’s, and Cristyne’s faces floated in her mind. She couldn’t imagine leaving them either.

“Were there not people you cared about in the empire?” he asked her.

“You and Sara were the only ones. And I’m not really sure how I became friends with Sara to this day,” she said.

“What about us?” he asked. “We were supposed to get married. Have a life together. Have children to carry on the Lupton name. Does that all mean nothing to you?”

Maude squirmed. “Honestly, I…” she scratched the back of her neck and then started wringing her hands. “I…didn’t even know until I received your letter that you had feelings for me, Silas,” she muttered.

His eyes looked wounded. She’d already lied to him once. She didn’t want to keep lying to him. “In my mind, there was only ever going to be an ‘us’ after we got married,” she added. “The thought had never occurred to me that we could be anything besides an arranged marriage by our parents.” She paused. “And you know damn well how busy my father kept me, so it’s not as though I had time to just sit and think about it either.”

He ran his hands through his short hair and sighed. “Is there any way I could possibly convince you to give us a shot?” he asked.

Maude felt a lump growing in her throat. He really just wants me to rip all of the bandages off, doesn’t he? She thought.

“Probably not,” she answered softly.

“Do you already have someone else in your heart?” he asked.

She couldn’t look him in the eyes as she nodded.

She heard his fist meet the log that they were sitting on. “It’s the duke, isn’t it?” he asked.

Maude felt something snap inside of her. Why does he deserve to know? She thought. It’s really none of his concern.

“I need to go,” she replied curtly.

“That tells me all I need to know,” he replied, glaring at her.

Maude spun on her heel and began quickly striding away from Silas’s campsite.

“Don’t forget that he killed your entire unit!” Silas called out after her. “He’s dangerous!”

Maude sighed as she strode away. As if I didn’t already know that, she thought.

~

All Maude wanted to do when she got back to the manor was sink into a pillow and pretend she didn’t exist.

She’d been so excited to see Silas after so long. She’d been thrilled to receive a letter from one of her longest standing friends, nearly exuberant that there had been an opportunity to reconnect, and overjoyed at the idea that perhaps he had come to settle in, or fight for Aulbert.

Laying in her bed of pillows, she couldn’t help but mentally kick herself. I should have known that he felt more for me than just friendship! She chastised herself. We were set to be engaged, after all. We’ve known that since childhood. Maude sighed heavily into her pillow. It was an arranged marriage nonetheless… I didn’t expect that he’d truly come to have feelings for me.

She closed her eyes tightly, and saw his hurt face behind her eyelids. She wasn’t sure that she’d ever be able to not envision a look of pain on his face when she thought of him in the future.

How could I have ever guessed that I’d be going there for the end of a two decade long relationship? She thought, feeling a couple of tears sneak out of the corners of her eyes. I could have never imagined that this could have been the last time I would ever speak to Silas. That’s how happy I had been to receive his message.

Had I ever considered that the time we met up for sandwiches that it could be the last time I’d ever talk to him? She knew that thought hadn’t even really crossed her mind at that point either.

He came here to rescue me, a voice that seemed to come from her heart whispered to her. He wanted to meet up before the war. He was always so happy to bend over backwards for me. He was always so overjoyed to see me. Maybe I should have just left Aulbert with him. It would have been an easier life. We would have never had to figure out a way to be together. There was nothing keeping us apart anymore, not even my father.

Her heart ached. She hated that she even had to make a decision in the first place. She didn’t have any interest in Silas, but that didn’t mean that she wanted nothing to do with him either.

A few more tears slipped out. It’s over, Maude thought. Silas and I are no longer friends. We can ever go back to how we were before.