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Chapter 65

Helena’s hands threaded through Maude’s hair, filling it with sudsy soap. It had been two weeks since Jakob had left, and Helena had only been back at the manor for a day. Though Maude could tell that Helena was trying not to let it show, she seemed like she was still raw and vulnerable from Jakob’s departure. Helena had reassured Maude that she was fine, but from the look on Helena’s face, Maude could tell that she was lying.

The water Helena had prepped for Maude’s bath was cool, as they were now in the hottest part of the summer. Rather than strictly being for getting clean, bathing had become a way for Maude to pleasantly cool off. Rosenberg wasn’t as warm as the Holloway manor had been in the summers, but it was still enough that most people smelled a big vinegary.

“A lot happened while you were gone,” Maude said as Helena tipped her hair back into the water to rinse out the soap.

“Like what?” Helena asked. Maude could barely hear Helena’s voice through the water.

“Jaspar and I had a fight,” Maude volunteered, coming up out of the water.

“Oh dear,” Helena said, handing Maude a bar of soap to wash her body with. Helena turned away, which allowed Maude to stand up and wash herself. Her other maid had tried to insist on washing Maude herself, which had annoyed Maude greatly. It was in those moments that she had missed Helena the most.

God I missed Helena more than I realized, Maude thought.

“What did you fight about?” Helena asked.

“I asked him if he wanted to do what you and Jakob did when we have to go our separate ways,” Maude said. “And he told me no.”

“He told you no?” Helena asked. Her voice sounded surprised.

So I’m not the crazy one, Maude thought. Good to know someone else thinks that it would be rational.

“Yes, he said no,” Maude replied.

“Did he say why?” Helena asked as Maude resubmerged her body into the bath. Helena turned around and started working on prep for when Maude would be ready to leave the bathtub.

“He did,” Maude said. “He said that if he doesn’t die and returns to Aulbert, that he will need to take a wife he can legally have a successor with, and that will not be me unless I become a citizen of Aulbert.”

“I suppose that is a solid argument,” Helena replied, turning back towards Maude, shrugging her shoulders and nodding. “Rosenberg has had some pretty terrible dukes in the past. We almost did again when the late Duke Rosenberg passed away.”

Maude looked surprised. “Rosenberg seems like such a well-maintained place, though,” she protested.

Helena shook her head. “My mother told me stories about only a couple of generations ago. Rosenberg was a haven of crime, gambling, and drugs. The late Duke Rosenberg is the one that started pulling us out of it, and the Rosenberg territory you see today is primarily due to his grace’s hard work,” Helena said.

Maude felt her eyes go completely wide, and she felt a puzzled look come onto her face. “I never knew,” she said.

Helena nodded fiercely. “He’s extremely protective because of the amount of work it took to get it here,” she said. “So I can understand why he would want to make sure he has a legitimate heir.”

Maude nodded. “Well, it was unexpected to me that he wouldn’t want to do something similar to you and Jakob,” Maude said. “So I was pretty upset.”

“I think most young ladies would be pretty upset to hear that,” Helena agreed.

“So the next day he took me out to a blacksmith on the Rosenberg territory,” Maude continued. “And he picked up a sword. We went to a garden together and he gave it to me. He had it custom built for me, and he told me that he had hoped to have used it in a proposal to me someday, but now things had changed so he wasn’t going to be able to.” Maude sighed heavily.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“What do you mean he said ‘things have changed now?’” Helena asked.

Maude nodded. “Ah, right, I never had a chance to tell you about how our discussion with the king went. The king said that in order to become a citizen of Aulbert, I have to fight in the war.”

Helena’s eyes widened. “The king ordered you to fight in the war?” she asked. “The pacifistic sword saint?”

Ah, Maude thought. All this time since the garden, I had forgotten that she already knew I was against fighting. How foolish of me to think she was talking about standing up to the empire through fighting.

Maude nodded. “And his grace informed me that if I do not fight, I will be forfeiting any opportunity to become a citizen of Aulbert in the future.”

Helena nodded. “I’ve heard that to be the case for the former slaves as well. But the king doesn’t typically ask them to do something that they are not capable of.”

Maude frowned. “The king said that as well, but he also said that Aulbert is in a great time of need, and so that truly, the only thing that is needed right now are fighters in the war.”

Helena nodded her head rapidly in agreement. “That’s most definitely true, my lady,” she said.

“So why is it that I won’t get a chance to become a citizen again later on since the only thing the king could request was something I’m not capable of?” Maude complained.

Helena’s eyes widened, and she shook her head at Maude’s comment. “My lady,” she said. “How would you feel about someone abandoning you during your greatest hour of need, but then coming back when you’ve made yourself all better?” she asked.

Maude felt her own eyes widen. “Not great,” she admitted, begrudgingly.

Helena nodded. “Granting you citizenship is not the same as granting others citizenship,” she said. “Everyone in Aulbert knows your name. The public sentiment towards you could turn very negative if the king were to let you become a citizen after you chose to abandon the country in its darkest hour.”

Maude swallowed hard. “Are things really that bad for the average person in Aulbert?” Maude asked. “Because of the war?”

Helena shook her head and sighed at Maude. “You’re very naive,” she said. “There probably isn’t a whole lot else worth doing in Aulbert to help us out right now, because of the war,” she stated.

“What do you mean?” Maude asked.

“So many people in Aulbert have died at the hands of the empire’s troops,” Helena said. “Most of the typical things that are done to keep a country running, and to ensure that people have enough to eat, have come to a standstill.”

Maude heard herself have a sharp intake of breath. “I didn’t realize it was that bad,” she said. She thought about all of the delicious hearty meals she’d still been enjoying at the Rosenberg manor. Am I taking food from someone else who needs it more than me? She wondered.

Helena nodded. “Regular people everywhere, even someone like my mother, who you know I can’t stand, are waiting with baited breath every single day to see what the outcome of this war is. No one knows if they are going to be alive three months from now, let alone a week from now. Everyday, regular people in Aulbert are receiving notices that their loved one has perished in battle. The only things that Aulbert really needs right now are miracles and heroes.”

“I…” Maude stuttered, barely able to make words with her mouth. “I–I had no idea,” she said.

Helena nodded, her expression grim. “Duke Rosenberg has done everything he has been able to, to ensure that the Rosenberg territory has had no reason to want for anything. But it’s starting to get to the point where there is not much he can even do anymore.”

Maude swallowed hard. I’ve been taking everything for granted, she thought. Even my own life. Just because I have an escape plan does not mean that all of the people of Aulbert do. It’s not just the people I care about dealing with the fallout of the war, Maude thought, it’s everyone, everywhere in this country.

How could I be so foolish? She asked herself. How could I have possibly assumed that there would be any other way I could be together with Jaspar besides fighting in the war? I’ve made a complete ass of myself.

Maude’s eyes stung, tears starting to form. She cleared her throat. “Helena,” she said.

“Hmm?” the maid asked her.

“Would you be willing to leave me alone for a little while?” Maude asked. “I need to think about what you just told me.”

Helena looked surprised, but then nodded. “Of course, my lady,” she said. “Please call for me if you need anything.”

Helena left the bathroom, and Maude was alone.

She got out of the bathtub, water splashing all over the floor, and grabbed the towel Helena had set aside for her. While she was drying herself off, the tears began to fall.

How could I have not realized? She kicked herself mentally. The place I’ve begun to call home is truly in danger of being destroyed and I’ve been blatantly ignoring it. The sobs were beginning to take over her body, and she fell to her knees on the floor. I’m so stupid, so stupid! No wonder Jaspar has been so frustrated with me.

She cried for a while and then turned to stare up at the ceiling, her eyes starting to dry.

I’m helpless in the face of this crisis, she thought. I can’t be a miracle or a hero.

But I could, a smaller voice, deep inside of her, peeking its way out of the treasure chest she had her ability in. I could be a hero, and I could try to save the place that has become my home.

It’s worth at least considering if fighting in this war is something I’m capable of.