Maude was staring off into space as Melissa and Cristyne giggled in front of her. She was still trying to wrap her mind around what she and Jaspar had discussed only two days earlier. Not only that, but there was still the issue of solving how she could be with Jaspar. The situation had not changed all that much, but the feeling of having no home and nowhere to go after the war ended was looming over her like a dark cloud.

How did I get myself into such a horrible situation? She wondered. How did it end up that I have no place to call home?

It’s always been this way, a different part of herself protested. I just had to ignore it to survive.

I used to think I could never leave the empire, another part of her mind was thinking. Now I can’t even imagine going back.

Her mind was a cacophony of different thoughts, all pointing her in different directions, all with contrasting actions and next steps she could take. She felt paralyzed from all of the thoughts she was having, and all the different ways she could choose to live her life going forward.

In front of her, now both Cristyne and Melissa were staring at her. “Maude?” Melissa said.

“What?” Maude asked, blinking her eyes a few times to bring the current moment back into focus.

“We’ve been sitting here calling your name for a few minutes,” Cristyne said with a pout on her face. “What could be more important than us right now?” she asked.

“Sorry,” Maude said, bowing her head and shaking it. “I’ve just had a lot on my mind the past couple of days,” she said.

“That much is obvious,” Melissa said. “I asked you what’s weighing you down so heavily?”

“There is a lot,” Maude replied, widening her eyes.

“Tell us about it,” Cristyne said. “Friends are for helping one another when we’re stuck.”

Maude chewed on her lower lip. How do I tell them about me and Jaspar? She thought. I specifically promised him that I would not tell anyone about our relationship until we found a path forward for us to be together. She thought back to the conversation she’d had with them at the ball. It had been before anything had happened. They’d both been excited when she’d admitted her feelings to them. But she still hadn’t been sure about how he felt, or how they could make things work.

The anticipation was clearly building in Melissa and Cristyne. “Whatever is going on sure must be risque,” Melissa said. “Spill the tea, or I’ll spill the hibiscus tea!” She grabbed Maude’s cup and was threatening to release the liquid from it, with a smirky smile on her face.

Maude sighed heavily. “I’ve decided to try to find a way to make things work with the duke,” she said.

Both girls squealed. Melissa gently placed Maude’s teacup back into its saucer. “Did things progress then, the night of the ball?” Cristyne asked.

“No, I wish they had,” she lied with a smile. “Instead I’ve been trying to come up with a way we could for sure be together before I tell him how I feel,” she said.

“Ugh,” Melissa groaned, smacking the table. “Both of you are so slow to act!”

If only you knew, Maude thought.

“What happens if he were to get engaged to Lady Von Wickten in the meantime?” Cristyne asked. “Then all your hard work would be for naught.”

“He has informed me that he’s doing everything in his power to not marry Lady Von Wickten,” she said. “Also, there was an incident at the ball after you both left…”

“Ah yes,” Melissa said. “If I recall correctly, that ended with Lady Von Wickten on the floor, squirming.”

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That’s one way to put it.

“His grace is going to use that incident to prevent an engagement with her family,” Maude said. “He said he has never been that particularly fond of her, but that she has gone too far, too many times.”

“Mm-hmm,” Cristyne said.

“That is for sure,” Melissa agreed.

“So really,” Maude continued. “If I trust both of your judgments, and believe the duke feels the same way I do, the biggest barrier to starting a relationship with him is that I’m a prisoner of war,” Maude said. “So I’ve been trying to think of how to do something important enough to become a citizen of the Aulbert Kingdom,” Maude said.

“Hmm,” Melissa said, tapping her finger on her chin.

“Oh!” Cristyne exclaimed. “You could help slaves escape the empire! I know Prince Erich would appreciate that, especially if you’re able to help a significant number of people escape.”

Maude felt her heart skip a beat. Why hadn’t she thought about that when Jaspar was telling her about how the Aulbert kingdom had been rescuing slaves?

“What all would that entail?” Maude asked, almost jumping out of her chair, her hands shaking a little.

“Nope, nope, nope,” Melissa said, shaking her head.

“What?” Maude asked. “Why?”

Melissa tilted her head, looking at Maude sideways. “Did no one tell you bout how the war started?” she asked.

“No, no one has told me the story,” Maude confirmed.

Melissa sighed. “The empire launched a sneak attack on a group of Aulbertians who had been on their way to rescue some slaves. Most of the party died. One guy got out and was able to inform the guards at the border. That was the only reason why we knew the empire was coming in for an attack. Later on, we also found out that the empire had killed the slaves that the group was on their way to rescue as well.”

Maude felt her mouth agape. “What the fu…that’s horrible,” she said, nearly catching herself cussing in front of the two ladies.

“Oh yeah, that’s right,” Cristyne said, nodding solemnly. “I forgot about that.”

“The empire is absolutely ruthless,” Melissa said. “No one has been able to rescue slaves since. The empire completely shut our operation down.”

“Ah, I guess that won’t work then,” Cristyne said. Now they were both staring off into space while Maude sipped her tea.

“You don’t have to come up with something right now,” Maude said. “Even if you just keep it in the back of your mind and look for opportunities, I would appreciate the effort,” Maude smiled.

“You could fight in the war,” Melissa suggested. “So long as we win the war, you will become a citizen. Depending on your efforts, too, as a sword saint, the king may even offer you a title.”

Maude swallowed hard. It was the most obvious solution. If she fought on behalf of Aulbert, it would be quite clear that she had betrayed her country of origin in favor of Aulbert.

“I can’t do that,” she murmured.

“Can’t? Or won’t?” Melissa asked. Maude could tell she was annoyed.

Oh what would I give to allow people to live life in my shoes for one day, Maude thought. Being the sword saint comes with so much pressure.

Maude felt her arms start shaking, against her will. “Can’t,” she replied back to Melissa through gritted teeth.

Melissa sighed, looking disappointed. “It would be the most straightforward way to gain citizenship in Aulbert.”

Maude nodded. “It would.” Her tremors were already starting to calm down.

The tension in the air was thick between them. Cristyne cleared her throat. “Speaking of the war, has my cousin given you any updates on it?” she asked.

Maude grimaced and nodded. “Apparently the empire has been claiming that I’m dead,” she said.

“That’s fucked,” Melissa said, her eyes wide. Maude felt her own eyes widen at the language coming out of Melissa’s mouth.

“Why would they lie?” Cristyne asked.

There’s a lot of reasons why pretending I’m dead is better than the truth, Maude thought.

“His grace said that it has dramatically increased morale in the empire’s forces,” she replied.

Cristyne shivered. “Did he suggest anything different about the chances of us winning?” she asked.

Maude shook her head. “He didn’t say anything about that at all, which probably means it’s about the same,” she said.

Cristyne gnawed on the tips of her fingers. Melissa looked frustrated. What must it be like for these ladies? Maude wondered. Their fate is literally in someone else’s hands…though, it’s not like mine isn’t either.

Maude chewed on her lip. I can’t kill another person, she thought. If killing one messed me up this badly, then killing more will maim my psyche beyond repair. I don’t understand how people do it without consequences. I can’t even consider it as an option.

“Well, keep us updated if you hear anything different,” Melissa said.

Maude sipped her tea and nodded. “You know I will,” she said. “If you both could pass on any peaceful ideas you may come up with to become an Aulbert citizen, I’d appreciate that,” Maude said.

“Gladly,” Cristyne said with a warm smile.

Melissa rolled her eyes. “If anything exists and I come across it, I will pass it on,” Melissa grumbled.

“I appreciate it,” Maude said with a wry smile. Maude wasn’t quite sure how much more pushing she could really take from Melissa.

Just grin and bear it, she thought to herself. Melissa openly admitted it is because she is envious of the fact that I have been trained in the sword and she has not.

“So,” Maude said, smiling brightly at the both of them. “Tell me about the gentlemen you met at the ball!”