“Oh Flamelet, why didn’t you talk to me?” a familiar voice, filled with compassion and pity asked. At the same time, a warm hand gently caressed my cheek, spreading a wet sensation.

“You’ve always been this way, charge ahead before thinking things through.” the voice chided me and I could just see the wry smile on my teacher’s face, as she thought back on the trouble I had caused in my youth. Together with Marj. Just the memory of my dear friend managed to choke me, the happy smile on her face, the mischievous glint in her eye, how I missed it. Why hadn’t I noticed earlier, before…

A pair of strong arms wrapped around me, pulling me into my teacher’s embrace as if I was a child, in need of comfort. There was a part of me that wanted to protest, to assert that I was an adult and didn’t need to be treated like a child but that part was shouted down. I didn’t want to think about what others would think, clinging to my teacher and crying my eyes out, I didn’t want to be the Firebringer they looked up to. I just wanted to be Dura, if only for a bit.

“Now, why don’t we sit down and you tell me what is going on?” my teacher asked after a few minutes, once my tears had stopped flowing out. Straightening my back, I gave a nod of acceptance, hoping that my teacher, in her wisdom, could help me understand.

Why? Why had things gone this way? I had asked Grendel, the woman who had a connection with the ancestral spirit, despite being a Traveller, about their courting-customs and she had told me that red roses, some type of flower, were given as a display of courtship. But when I had given Morgana red flowers, she had reacted badly. And I had even made one of the apprentices ask Harms, the Traveller who had died during the fighting and had been returned to life by the Gods, about attractive behaviour to females and he had rambled on about confidence being seen as sexy or something like that. For some reason, the question had embarrassed him but still, hadn’t I been confident? I had confidently told her that I would court her to earn her approval and affection but the reaction had been bad. I just couldn’t understand.

“So, why don’t you tell me about this young woman? Previously, you just told me that she helped you during your mission and that you promised rewards.” Teacher Brightsun asked, setting a cup of liquid on the table between us. “But this is obviously much more.”

For a moment, I didn’t quite know where to start. Or how to start, for that matter. How could I explain the connection I was feeling towards this woman and the actions I had undertaken, for fear of losing that connection?

“It might be easiest if you start at the beginning.” Teacher prompted, gesturing for me to sit on my usual chair, the one I had always sat on when learning from her. For a moment, I hesitated before beginning to tell her about Morgana. How we had met when one of the scout-teams had stumbled over them, how that team had decided to trade some supplies for information. Such trades were generally a good idea, no matter how skilled someone was when it came to divination-magic, there was always a limit to the amount of information you could gather. Trading for an outsider’s perspective might turn up interesting information or allow inference regarding a bigger picture, as it had been in this particular case.

That first meeting had been peculiar, the feeling of winter intruding into the pleasant warmth of summer, not the gradual shift of autumn but brought by an outsider. Without thinking too much about it, I had pushed, curious who that outsider was and how powerful. There had been resistance, pushing back, making me want to find out who was stronger, especially when I realised that the woman, despite her petite physique and diminutive height, seemed to be relatively young. It was difficult to estimate the age of other races, especially given the traces of elven lineage that her features hinted at but she didn’t move with the gravitas of an elder. No, she seemed to be someone of my generation, but with enough magical power and ability to challenge me. It was exciting and made me want to see more of her.

The others of her party had been interesting in their own right, but none of them was even close to her level. There had been little time to talk, but when one of the warriors of the group identified her by name and called out, I learned that she was a Traveller and apparently famous amongst them. However that worked.

As we continued on our path, I had asked the scout that brought them to learn a little more about that Traveller, ostensibly to gauge how trustworthy the information we would receive were, but really, I was more interested in the woman herself than the information. That freezing cold, pushing into my direct awareness and her ability to push back against me, despite the heat of summer and my higher level, I wanted to learn more.

The opening of a door interrupted our talk, luckily I was sitting with my back to it, otherwise whoever had entered would have seen that I had been crying.

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“Elder, those people are gone and I told the guards that they are no longer welcome.” Klenda, one of Teacher’s current apprentices, reported, causing Teacher Brightsun to frown.

“You shouldn’t spread this manner around, just like you should remain quiet about what you heard earlier.” she gently scolded but I could hear the displeasure in her voice.

“See that you make sure those you talked to don’t spread it around.” she ordered and moments later, the door closed again.

Before I could ask why she didn’t want it to spread, Teacher Brightsun looked at me, wryly smiling at the confused expression on my face.

“I don’t think that those four will come back, not without a very, very pressing reason. Embarrassing you, without necessity, is not something I want, so we keep this episode quiet, if people ask, those four simply decided to continue their travels.” Teacher explained, getting me to nod in understanding. I had no doubt that the orcs who had been with us on the mission had spread news about Morgana’s magical prowess, giving her a reputation as a relatively powerful being, one that was supposedly allied with me. I hated politics.

Shaking my head, I continued my tale, focusing on the details of what Morgana and her party had told me about the centaurs actions further in the north-east and during this part of the story, Teacher was carefully asking questions, digging for as many details as I could provide. She even had me use a magical ritual to share memories with a flame, allowing her to see for herself what had transpired. It took hours and I had a feeling that those who had talked to the dryad Adra would receive a similar questioning. Finally, Teacher Brightsun was satisfied with what she had learned and I was allowed to continue my story.

For the next hour, I told her about finding the centaurs and their wolven allies and the proposed plan to break them in the night. There was a frown on Teacher’s face, but she withheld her judgement on the plan as it didn’t matter any longer. The battle was fought, the casualties buried and for now, I focused on telling my impression of Morgana. Of her magic and the kindness she had shown the survivors, healing them even after working a major feat of magic and while she was visibly exhausted.

And how we had talked about magic, her interest in the way I interacted with the spirits and in the tales of our people, how we had interacted with the spirits in the past, especially the tale of our Ancestor and the Phoenix. Back then, I had thought it was due to an interest in me, that she sought me out to talk but now, I wondered if I had just read into her curiosity and seen what I wanted to see.

Finally, we got to our return to the Bright Hollow and the frosty reception. How I had learned about the rumours that had been spread before we ever got back and how Morgana had flared up, arguing on my side. When I got to the conversation Morgana and I had, during the late evening, my voice choked, the words not coming out as I wanted them to.

Home, home not being a place but a feeling. I missed her. I missed my home.

“We’ll have to discuss the centaurs with the other Elders. If they are united now, that might be a serious threat.” Elder Brightsun muttered, causing my hands to clench into fists. “But we were talking about your interest in this Morgana. I think I can understand why you became interested but don’t you think that your actions and your reaction to her refusal were excessive, given that you’ve known her for what, a little over a week?” she asked, making me pause.

“What do you mean, Teacher?” I asked, frowning.

“Flamelet, you’ve always been impulsive but you were about to throw away your place here, in the Bright Hollow. Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?” Teacher Brightsun asked, making me remember the words Morgana had spoken the night before, about home. And where to find it.

“You still miss Marj, don’t you?” she asked out of the blue, making me freeze and the smile on Teacher’s face turned compassionate once more.

“Morgana is not Marj, nor is she Thronar.” she reminded me, as if I needed to be reminded of that.

“But I can see the similarities between Morgana and Marj. Both fascinated by magic but both using it in a way so different from you and me. Even their physique is somewhat similar, even if Morgana is a little scrawny.” she chuckled to herself, before focusing back on me.

“Nobody will ever replace the place Marj has in your heart and I don’t think you should try to fill that place with someone else.” Teacher Brightsun explained, cutting off an angry snarl from me with a look that I’d received only a few times during my training.

“Make a new spot in your heart, for the next person. Don’t try to look for someone to replace Marj, it wouldn’t be fair to you or the one you place in that spot.” she counseled and for the next hour, we simply sat and talked, not about weighty problems but about simple things. It was oddly relaxing.

“Now, Flamelet, I think you should go, wash your face. It doesn’t do that you look like I made you cry.” she grinned, getting a soft chuckle from me in return. “Go, we’ll speak some more later. And don’t worry about that Traveller, I don’t think we’ll see her and her arrogance again. To threaten us in our home.” she grumbled, her words causing a conflicting emotion to rise within me. Part of me wanted Morgana to burn but another part? Another part was more conflicted.

“What do you mean? Is the place of power that dangerous?” I asked, not sure which answer I would prefer.

“Dangerous? Not really. But she will learn humility there.” Teacher Brightsun replied, all gentleness gone from her face, her eyes staring into the distance.